This is going to have a little trombone humor in it! In other words, it is about how the trombone can be tied in with the male genitals/masturbation. (It is the same joke over and over, so believe me; it is going to get EXTREMELY old and fast!) I am not a pervert; I just have to keep saying that over and over again... I am not a pervert... I am not a pervert...

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Part Eight

Band.

God I love band.

Not only is it the second-to-last class of the day, but you don't have to talk and you can still express yourself. Degrassi has a really small band. So small that I am the only trombone. For a decent band, there should be at least ten trombones but... hey.

My boner's name is Craig. It used to be Tomfoolery, but then I saw Craig.

Craig isn't in band and neither are any of his jackass younger friends. I wish he would leave them and join me. It would be bliss. A gift from the heavens.

A real big reason why I like band is that we do absolutely nothing. We freestyle mostly. So I just sit, think, and play.

Today, of course, I was thinking about the events that had just happened.

~ I thought Mr. Simpson was supposed to be boning Emma's mother. Hee Hee boning. Trombone! This would be really bad for Emma if it got out... I should tell someone! Nah, might attract too much attention towards me. That would be real bad. ~

Losing myself in train of thought, I didn't realize that we were supposed to be playing for once. Instead, I was stroking my boner.

~ Awe Crap! ~

Waiting for the next measure, I took a deep breath and started to play.

~ Trombone Bliss ~

Then: ~ Dangit ~

My neighbor is a tuba player, Kyle, and he always tries to touch my boner. I hate it when other people try to play with my boner; it is just so annoying. And when they try to blow it, it is horrible. I am the only one who is allowed to touch my boner. Although sometimes for teaching purposes Mr. Elson (the director) plays with it. He is really good and experienced.

"Stop touching my boner when I am trying to play with it!" I yell a little loudly. Being as how immature we students in band are, we both burst out giggling.

We picked up again at measure 157 of the really gay song we were playing. It was 230 measures long and basically all I had was whole notes and quarter notes. I always get sucky parts.

We stopped. Damn trumpets messing up again. They are always messing up. I knew we were going to have a long break so I decided to lubricate my boner. Searching around my case, I found the jar of slide grease and took a big glob with my fingers. I smeared it on my boner. I took my hand and started rubbing the shaft. I rubbed it up and down. I was in the zone, quickly and efficiently rubbing it.

I really love my boner and I try to keep it in the best condition for as long as I can. I have had it for a long time. I haven't dented it up or anything. Using my knife, I had even delicately inscribed my name into the bell under the serial number. The shaft was my pride and joy though. It was a little longer then the regulated boner, so when I was playing with it, I could really hit some notes. I always greased the shaft every week too. But that is just a consequence when you play with your boner as constantly as I do.

~ Damn ~ too late I realized that I had made a mess. The white substance was all over my hands and my boner.

~ Awe Crap! If I don't clean this up, it is going to get extremely sticky by tomorrow! ~

I excused myself and took my messy boner and me to the bathroom to clean up.

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Yeah, this chapter was all about the trombone. Which I happen to play! It may have been a little perverted, if you don't know the slang. And it was stupidly pointless because if needed, it could have been easily cut! But I kept it anyway! And my other character was out of character. Weird. Erie. But everything's still cool!