She went to rent movies. She rented "The Ring". She watched the whole crappy film. The phone rang. She picked up. A voice whispered, "Seven dwarves," and hung up. Then she saw a puddle forming around the television, but looked down to see she wet herself. She went to get a change of clothes. She opened her closet door to find a big black horse in there. She slammed the door back only to see a giant fly sleeping in her bed. It woke up and looked her over with it's eyeballs and said, "Hey baby, waz buzzing? I gots some room in herre fa you." Her first impulse was 'could be fun, make a great bar story', but she realized the fly was a native from Brazil and she hated soccer players so she just couldn't do it. She couldn't sleep. She had some coffee and fruit rollups. She went to the bathroom. When she opened the door, she saw 4 dogs playing poker, wait that was just a poster, but then the toilet turned into a well. She was hungry. She went to Subway. She saw Jared. He was fat again. She asked what happened to him. He said, " I ate Rosie O'Donnell." She felt nervous," "I didn't know you were a cannibal." Jared replied, "4 out of 5 cannibals agree that vegetarians taste better." She's like, "Okay, I'm going to go eat a HAMBURGER because I'm NOT a VEGETARIAN." And she ran out the door. Jared shrugged and went back to eating his "vegetarian" sub. Seven days later, she died. The funny thing is. It wasn't from the film. NO, Jared didn't eat her, (but he thought about it) she got hit by a car. The crime scene pictures were crystal clear. Even the Las Vegas Crime Lab couldn't figure this one out. Gil Grissom looked down at the body and shrugged. "Oh well. To hell if I care." He looked up at Sara Sidle and asked, "Would you be my teddy bear?" He curled his lips and shook himself like Elvis. And she replied, "Well honey, I thought you'd never ask." They rode off into the sunset on his white horse. Greg Sanders, the lab tech sat in the bushes muttering to himself, "Smeagol no like Grissom. He has the precious." Just then the mystery machine pulled up and all the cast of scooby doo piled out and Freddy ripped off the girl's face revealing a skull. "Oh." He shrugged, "Nevermind." They piled back into the mystery machine, and headed to Subway, where they were all eaten by Jared.

The End.

The morale of the story is wear bright reflective clothing while working your corner at night. (Also, don't trust a guy who lost weight using "aids")