FICTION FICTION FICTION
This chapter, as with the four previous, and any beyond, are what I MADE UP about what happens after Bye Bye Hillridge Junior High. Disregard the fact you know the movie prevents ANY of this from happening.
The last chapter I wrote, "What I wish would happen", and that's not entirely true. I don't wish problems on the characters, just makes for good reading... Some of this refers to past episodes, MOST is my imagination.
I'm way late posting this, but I wanted to get it right, and it's still confusing. I think I'll start posting weekly, instead of every three days. I know parts of the last chapter seemed a bit silly, but the two previous were very serious, and most of what's coming is serious as well. If Lizzie and Gordo seem "out of character" to you, a lot has changed the past two days. But I'll let them explain it soon.
When I wrote the last chapter, I thought you'd all know who I was referring to. Then afterwards, I realized there were four or five possibilities, and two that most people would probably think of. I wrote two different versions of this chapter, then made a third with parts of each.
All the rest of this story was written in one day, in a marathon-long writing session. But, it's not the same, I've tweaked parts of the story all along, so I'll mess with this a little as well.
I read too much into things sometimes, and I may be over my head with this chapter. Don't expect a warm fuzziness to this.
Disclaimer- Don't work for Disney/Ren-Mar, don't own anything related to Lizzie McGuire.
On to Chapter 17.
Chapter 17
She couldn't finish the sentence, it was simply too much to say aloud. She had been standing ever since she threatened to walk off, had paced a bit while trying to explain herself, but had not sat back down. She had better do it now.
She held onto the side of the swing set for support, as she felt weak. She sat on the edge of the swing, adjusted herself, so she would not slip off, and tried to calm herself. She reached for the water bottle Gordo had given her, and attempted to take a small sip. She immediately started to cough, and set the bottle down, almost spilling it. Gordo lunged for the bottle, and made sure it was upright, then attempted to help her, but she pushed him away. He stood there, waiting. He picked up the water bottle in one hand, and the box of tissues in the other, and held them out to her. She waved away the water, but pulled a few tissues from the box. When she was able to stop coughing, she wiped her eyes, blew her nose, and took several deep breaths before addressing Gordo.
The name caught in her throat, she choked it out. "Kate." She couldn't believe it, it wasn't possible, but at sometime it had happened.
He couldn't sit back down now. Lizzie had the wrong idea. He began to pace as Lizzie had done a few minutes before. "No, no, it wasn't Kate, although things might have been different if it had been, because..." He trailed off, then at stopped his pacing, and stood firm. He was watching her intently, and she seemed shocked she'd guessed wrong.
"It wasn't Kate? Then who would it be, that I'd get upset if I found out about it?," she thought, as she brought to mind all the possible suspects. Her face fell, as it hit her.
"It, it was Miranda, right?"
He nodded, and she was glad now that she hadn't had lunch, for she'd surely have lost it at that moment. It was clear to her now, at some time in the past, he had liked Miranda, and she had either not liked him in return, or it didn't last. He had stayed friends with both her and Lizzie, hoping to get back with Miranda at some point, but accepting Lizzie as second best, and now that Miranda hadn't been around for the past few weeks, he had stepped up his attempts to get Lizzie, so that when she returned, she'd be jealous, and they could be together. She began to cry once more.
Gordo knew it would hit her hard, but he didn't expect quite this strong a reaction. He had no way of knowing what she was thinking, but he had to let her know it wasn't whatever she thought. "It wasn't a romantic kiss, Lizzie, and I didn't kiss her, she kissed me!"
She didn't quite believe him, but he wouldn't lie to her. It was hard to get him to reveal himself, but he never lied, at least to Lizzie. Wait, she could recall one time. When he said he was going to spend time with his father, and she and Miranda had seen him with Brooke. Was this the truth? She looked at him quizzically, like she wanted to believe him, but wasn't quite certain he was saying everything. But why would Miranda be so supportive of their new relationship when she talked to Lizzie the day before? She hadn't told her what happened with the CD and all... Maybe she thought she'd have Gordo out of her hair now, that he had Lizzie, he'd stop trying to get her... It was like a bad dream or something. What should she think? She was getting a headache...
She looked over at Gordo, she'd never seen him so agitated, but she never remembered being this mad either... "I wouldn't lie to you about this, Lizzie! I've kept it a secret, but I'd never lie about a thing like this! Why don't you believe me?" An image of Brooke flashed before his eyes. He'd lied to Lizzie when he'd met Brooke, more than once in fact. "Just give me a chance to explain!"
"Explain what? That you picked me after you couldn't have Miranda? That's why you want me to be bad, and that's why you want me to be wild, because I'm a goody goody, and you want me to be reckless like Miranda!"
"Lizzie, please don't say that, you have no idea what she's been through!"
"Oh yeah, I really DON'T care! And I don't want to know! I'm, I'm outta here!" She grabbed her water bottle, and threw the contents in Gordo's direction. He moved just in time, and when he saw she was getting up, he rushed over and kept her from doing so.
"Argh! Gordo! Let me rrgghhh up, you no good lousy grrr HELP SOMEONE ahhhh!"
She hadn't realized how strong he was.
"Please calm down. I'm not going to hurt you, I just want to talk to you, please, give me three minutes, please?"
She stopped struggling long enough to look at him. He was breathing hard from having to restrain her, but she saw in his eyes that he didn't like having to do so. The fact that he'd said please three times weighed on her mind. She'd give him three minutes, but that's all. "Alright, three minutes, on one condition, that you LET GO OF ME!"
He backed off, and stood a few feet away.
He hoped he could make her understand and believe in just three minutes. He came right to the point. "I think of Miranda like a sister, the sister I never had, and I didn't kiss her, she kissed me! I didn't ask her to!"
"Two minutes and a half," said Lizzie. He'd have to do better than this if he wanted her to believe him.
He tried a different plan. "Okay, I didn't know it until last year, but you had a crush on me in fourth grade. During that year, Miranda and I were at lunch one day, when you were out sick, and we started to walk back to class. She started to say stuff about how much you talked about me, and thought about me, and I didn't get it. Of course, you would talk about me, we were best friends."
She yawned. "Two minutes," she chimed.
"Okay, then she said you liked me. Again, I said so what, friends liked each other, then she said, no, you LIKED me, and she couldn't figure out why, and she said she didn't know what you saw in me."
"Ninety seconds," said Lizzie.
"She said falling for me would be like falling for her brother, if she had one. Then she said it must be because I was a good kisser. And before I knew it she kissed me. I didn't kiss her back, I was too scared to. I was just stiff." He waited for Lizzie, then said it himself. "One minute."
"She begged me not to tell you. And no, nothing has ever happened like that between the two of us again. After that, I started to look at you a little differently, but I never thought she was correct when she said you liked me, until she blurted it out last year, and you confirmed it."
She thought back to when Miranda had told her secret. Gordo had sure SEEMED surprised. But maybe it was like when Kate had told her about what Gordo felt, she had wrote it off as nothing serious, until Gordo would say it himself. But he'd mentioned something about wishing he had kissed Kate instead, what was up with that? "I know I'm going to hate asking this Gordo, but you said if you'd kissed Kate instead, things would be different. Care to explain?"
"The three minutes are now up. You just used the last thirty seconds yourself. You'd have to give me more time..."
The time. What was she was supposed to remember about the time? She looked at her watch. They had been at the park a little more than an hour. "I forgot to call my Mom!" She got up, worried, but there was no phone nearby, her mother would be frantic.
"Lizzie, it's okay, I called your house before I left mine. Just be home by five to get ready for tonight, is all your parents are asking."
Relieved, she sat back on the swing. "Alright, no more time limits, spill it Gordo."
"When it happened, no one was around, at least we didn't think so. I heard a noise, and after Miranda ran off, I went to look. I found a girl's hair ribbon on the ground, the same type of ribbon Kate had been wearing that day. After lunch, she had her hair up with a rubber band instead. The four of us were all friends then, but she was cold to me that day. I think that's what started her breaking off her friendship with the three of us."
Lizzie remembered how Kate had gone to cheerleading camp, and upon her return, had blown off her three friends with excuse after excuse, finally saying she now had "better things to do" than to be with them. She sensed their friendship wasn't as strong before she left, but it wasn't just that she had made new friends, it was that she wanted nothing to do with the old ones anymore.
"I really don't know, because I never asked, but I think she may have had a crush on me too. And she saw how you were behaving towards me, and then Miranda kisses me, and she thinks it's hopeless, I'll pick one of you before I pick her. I think her becoming a cheerleader was so she'd have an excuse not to be around us anymore. Since she became popular, she could snub us and say we weren't good enough for her. Maybe she thought she'd impress me or something, but the only way I'll ever know is if she tells me, because I don't have any idea how to bring it up with her."
Lizzie didn't know what to think. He kept right on talking, so she'd have to sort out her thoughts later.
"She hardly ever insults me, or bothers me unless you or Miranda is around. I think if I'd just let her crush on me, that maybe she would have gotten over it, and the four of us would still be friends. While you aren't friends with Kate, you do try to help her with her problems. You don't provoke her like Miranda does sometimes. You don't back down, but she always starts it."
Wow, this was all news to her.
A/N It's news to me too, and I wrote it!
"I've forever been teased about being 'best' friends with two girls. At the time of your crush on me, I considered both of you as my best friend, but I had known you much longer, and I felt there was something more, but what it was, I wasn't sure. I don't think a ten year old can fully comprehend love as in a romantic situation. Love, like as in the love of a child for his parents, parents toward the child, sibling for sibling, etc., but not boyfriend/girlfriend." He needed a breather. "Do you have any thing to say here Lizzie, before I continue, or should I go on?"
She didn't have any idea what to say. "Go on."
"I think I was just starting to understand about LOVE love when Brooke showed an interest in me. I didn't know about your crush yet, and when you reacted the way you did, it got me thinking. I never acted on what I was feeling, because I thought if you didn't feel the same in return, it could ruin our friendship. It might be awkward to be 'just friends' with someone who you know likes you as more.
Lizzie spoke. "I don't know, when you were going with Brooke, I just freaked. Miranda thought the whole thing was weird, but I kinda went crazy. I think she thought I was jealous."
"She thought I was jealous too when I went off that you had Ronny for a boyfriend. I-I was."
"I was too," she admitted. "But, if she knew what we both felt, why didn't she push us then?"
"She wasn't sure. We both denied it, remember. She didn't know which of us to push, because if we pushed back she could lose us as friends."
"If she had tried then we could have avoided a lot of heartaches, do you realize that? Look at all that's happened the past two days. Everything has snowballed at me... Why tell me EVERYTHING now?"
"Because I had to before high school. You said you were 'going to get rejected by a whole new group of guys'. Well, I bet quite a few would accept your attention. You've got to stop believing that you are a nobody. People like you, you are a good person."
Yeah, yeah, he'd said all that before. Except for the first part. "You really think someone else would like me?"
He nodded. "It scares me to pieces that I'd lose you because I was too stupid to open my mouth."
"Lose me? I thought you said we'd always be friends no matter what?"
"I said that, I meant that. But if I never tried to tell you, and you ended up with someone else, then I don't know what that would do to me. At least if things don't work out, you know how I feel. How do you feel?"
"I-I, I don't know. I tried to tell you a few minutes ago, but it didn't come out right. I do like you a lot. I know I really do like you, but I don't think I LOVE you, at least right now. I'm sorry."
To Gordo, those words hit him like a block of concrete. She didn't love him in return? "Don't get me wrong, I didn't say I couldn't feel that way at a later time. It's just I've been in love before, and I've found that love is more than just holding hands. If I say I love you, doesn't that open a whole new door for the future? We have our whole lives ahead of us, aren't we kind of rushing things?"
That was precisely the reason he couldn't open up to her the day before. "I respect your feelings, and if you can't say you love me now, it's alright. At times, it does frighten me to think of how strong my feelings are for you, but I never want to lose you as a friend. If I was to ever do anything to hurt you, it would kill me inside."
He truly did love her, and not Miranda. She knew that now. "Just promise me that if your feelings for me change, that I'll be the first to know. If I can start to think of you as more than a friend, but then you want to go back to the old way, you won't string me along."
"I just told you I would never do anything to hurt you. I'm not planning on asking you to be my girlfriend now, then going out with other girls later. I want to be with you. My best friend."
She winced. "But isn't it strange for best friends to be in this situation? Do we have to stop the way things have been, and change everything?
"When I broke up with Brooke, I told you I didn't like having to wait at her locker, and pay for her lunch, and all that, but I already do that for you, usually without you ever asking. We can still do everything we have always done, just with a few extra perks..." He rushed on before she could comment.
"Ask your mother, and she'll probably say your father is her best friend, and vice versa. When you see old married couples on TV, and they ask what their secret is, they usually say that their spouse is their best friend."
"Spouse? That's just what I mean! Rushing things! I don't know if I'm strong enough to handle all these changes."
"I told you, nothing has to change for now. I'm sorry if that last comment I made was a little too much. I have to say I'd like very much to be with you for my whole life. But this is not the time to talk about it. We've said so much, maybe we should go slowly from this point on."
"That's what I want. Give me a little space, and let me figure out where we should go from here." She laughed. "Even Matt told me you were good for me. He called you a catch, can you believe that?"
"I knew he was a smart kid. He's got brains, if he'd just use them, and quit goofing off so much."
"Matt also said you'd make an excellent brother-in-law." She blushed.
"Like I said, the kid's got smarts. But don't worry, I'm sure he'd love being 'Uncle Matt' but I can promise it won't happen anytime soon."
She sighed. "But no matter what happens between us, one thing WILL change. Our friendship with Miranda."
"Why? I told you there are no romantic feelings between us. We can have a 'mutual' friend, and still be together. Would it be any different if Miranda was a guy instead?"
She guessed not.
"We should thank Miranda. You said she didn't push us, well she pushed one of us. Me."
What? "When you got that busboy job for awhile, you weren't able to hang out with us as much, and we started to talk about all sorts of stuff, and I didn't tell her then what I felt, but I wanted to. I thought maybe I could see how things were from a girl's point of view or something. I found myself telling her things that I couldn't tell you. She could ask me about why boys are they way they are, and I could figure out one of life's greatest mysteries. Girls!" He said the last part, as he looked up to the sky, while throwing up his hands. This earned him a punch in the arm from Lizzie.
"Have you talked to Miranda lately?"
"Yes. A lot. I set up a private chat area, and we've talked many hours online." He reached for his duffel bag, and extracted two large manila envelopes, and handed them to Lizzie.
She hesitantly accepted them, and wondered what else the bag held. He seemed to sense her question, and he turned the bag upside down, showing it was now empty. "What are these?"
"I printed out every time we talked, so you can see that I was helping her, and we weren't having a secret rendevous or anything."
She opened one envelope. Inside were about 150 pages of emails and chat sessions with various dates and times, dating back for months. The earliest it looked was about mid-January. "It started at Christmas, just so you know."
"Christmas? You talked to her at Christmas? Do you know what was the matter then? Can you tell me?"
"Yes, I know. And I was told to keep it quiet all this time, and I begged Miranda to tell you, but she wouldn't. She gave me permission to tell you now, but if you want to start taking things slowly, I'm not sure how much I should tell."
"Is it that bad?"
"Well, it's not the worst that could happen, and things are much better now, but..." He stopped. Lizzie had been told about so much, could she handle it?
"Gor-DO! I'm sorry I said I didn't care what she'd been through, I do. Tell me! Please?"
He really didn't want to get her upset again. He'd better sit back down for this. "I don't know everything, but I'll explain the best I can... It all goes back to the first day of eighth grade..."
A/N You can all flame me now. Wouldn't be surprised if I got some neg comments here, or lost some readers. I warned you all along this story wouldn't be all fluff.
Hope I have enough stuff to use for a sequel.
Reviews appreciated, not required, or email JP5683@msn.com or JP5683@webtv.net
All email will be replied to. If you include an email on a review, I will contact you, unless you ask me not to.
Next chapter up don't know when, sorry... I'm kinda bummed. This wasn't exactly a happy chapter to write/post.
Thanks,
JP
April 4, 2003