Do You Remember Me? I Remember You
By Rainbow Dreamer and co-author Cryst and Ying Fa
*Dedicated to Cryst and Ying Fa, who have helped me with this story. If it weren't for you both, none of this would of happened. Arigato.
DISCLAIMER: I do NOT, I repeat, do NOT own CCS. It belongs to Clamp!
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Wow. Chapter Fifteen already! I never thought I'd write so much and this is because all of you readers out there. I truly thank you and no matter now many thank-yous I say, it won't be enough. The only thing I can do is what you all suggest: keep writing! Thank you all for expanding my interest in writing! Rainbow Dreamer.
Oh yes, almost forgot, a special character arriving in this chapter! SURPRISE!
IF YOU REVIEWED FOR THE LAST CHAPTER, LOOK FOR YOUR NAME UNDER SPECIAL THANKS BELOW!
SPECIAL THANKS TO: The human who left their name anonymous: Stop yelling, here's the next chapter! Kawaii-Cherry Wolf: * shock * you used a bad word. LOL. Just kidding. Tina: Well, I would be ABLE to write 100 pages, but I personally think I would do a much better job if I cut them into "chapters" and you all reviewed! ( I Love Li Syaoran: lol.. Don't have to threaten me, I know when my life's at stake! Here's the next chapter and say no more! LoL. Cat: Here's the next chapter, although no promises that there will be no cliffhangers in the future; gomen about that. Usagi yf: Oh! You're a cheerleader! Hehe. I'm glad it's okay that Ryoko is similar to Ryu. It's just that I saw too many fics using this wonderful name. Emerald Rose: I love being home alone too! ( AZNangel20: Gomen that I'm making Sakura going through all this pain. Syaoran's in pain as well though. They're in this together. Things will be okay in the end. at least I think so. Just keep reading. Arigato KireiAyumi: Thanks for you support! I love this story as well lol. gosh, I'm laughing a lot today! LoL. CherryzAngel: I'm SO glad that you exist! I love your reviews~! I'm glad that you like how I respond back you readers. I'm just GLAD that people actually read them, you know. I was worried that no one did! ( Orchid Angel: As for your wish, it's going to happen later I suppose. Gomen! PnairRose8: lol. now I don't want your eyes to pop out now do I? LoL. You're the first person to say that cliffhangers are all right! LoL. You go girl!
CHAPTER FIFTEEN: I'm Such a Baka
*** Syaoran's POV ***
"Can we be friends?" She asked me suddenly, as she raised her head up searching for the answer in my eyes.
I think my heart just failed me. Either that or it was just pounding too fast.
*** Sakura's POV ***
Did I just say what I just said? How could I have been so stupid as to say that? He doesn't even remember who I am in his past! * Friends? * The voice of doubt in my head said mockingly. * Whatever. *
"Gomen, forget what I said." I said quickly, looking at my feet. "I didn't mean it." With that I quickly opened my door and shut it behind me.
"Wait, Sakura!" Syaoran's voice was on the other end. I shut my eyes and leaned on the door, my hands behind my back. Please leave. I don't want to make a fool out of myself.
"Open the door," he demanded desperately, knocking on the door with his fist.
No, no please. I just can't stand another long explanation why we can't be friends. I know we can't. We have too much things between us and you don't know anything. I can't stand this.
"Please, Syaoran, just go." I whispered.
*** Syaoran's POV**
I couldn't just leave. I just couldn't. There was something I needed to tell her. There are so many things about us that I want to ask her. Why did I always say the wrong things?
Friends. That sounded like a dream.
"Arigato for the drink and walking me back home, Li-kun." Sakura's voice was teary and emotional. I felt like crying myself.
"It was nothing." I replied. This was like talking to a wall, or rather a door and it hurt.
"Demo, forget what I said. I don't even know what I was thinking. Friends." Sakura's laugh was harsh and it hurt against my ears.
"Sakura, just listen to me, will you?" I demanded desperately.
"Leave. please, Li-kun." Her voice was so sad that I couldn't bear giving more pain than I already had.
"Alright, but only for you." I said. I walked back down the hall silently, overcome with grief. Why didn't she want to know how I feel? Does she not care about me anymore? I mean.. I wanted to be friends. Why couldn't we be friends?
*** Sakura's POV ***
Did he just say what I thought he did? Only for me? He cared that much for me? Tears rolled down my cheeks as I slid slowly to the floor. Why was this happening? I knew I couldn't stand a chance, being so close to him.
I closed my eyes and let his last words sink into my skin.
He had called me Sakura. My eyes flew open. He had called my name. my first name. And I, I called him by his last name! Ah! I'm such a baka! Fumbling with the lock, I yanked the door open.
"Syaoran!" I gasped as I ran into the hall, almost stumbling over my own feet.
No one was there anymore. He was gone. Another chance had slipped through my hands! My heart pained. Crying, I ran down the stairs in hope that I could catch up with him. Oh, Syaoran. Please, come back.
"Syaoran!" I called over and over again as I stepped out the hotel, the gusting wind blew at my hair. "Syaoran!" People around me stared at me as if I were crazy. I didn't care. I just wanted to be with him again, even if we were just friends. Syaoran.
I ran up and down the street through the crowd but I couldn't see him. Oh, God, please let me find him. I can't stand not having him by my side again. "Syaoran!" I called out again, but my voice was cracking and my throat hoarse from yelling. I looked around wildly; this was a place I didn't know. Now I was lost, so much for irony. I can still hear Eriol's reminder to not get lost. I gritted my teeth and pushed those thoughts further behind in my head. I needed to find Syaoran. That was all that mattered now.
"Sakura." Someone called my name. Someone familiar yet, it wasn't Syaoran's voice. Hands were placed on my shoulders comfortably. I breathed in a smell from long ago. A smell that made me feel.. Me again. I stopped in my tracks thinking.
"Sakura?" The voice questioned me this time, full of concern. Turning around, I looked up into a pair of smiling red eyes. I felt my eyes water and the arms pulled me into a tight embrace.
"Gomen!" I cried "Ms.."
"Sakura, I'm your friend. I would appreciate it if you would call me by my name as I have for you." The soothing voice comforted me as if I had wrapped a warm blanket around myself.
I smiled through my tears. "Arigato Ms. I mean, Kaho."
"Let's go somewhere quieter and then we can talk," She suggested with a sense of motherly love. It was something I missed.
"It's about Syaoran." I said, tears rolling down my cheeks as I sit timidly on the red fake leather seats of a small teahouse. Kaho nodded urged me to take another sip of the warm tea she had ordered for me. It's rose and lemon scented tea filled me in a soothing way.
"I know." She replied with a small smile.
"You do?" I said, clearly surprised.
"Yes. Eriol has told me in his letters and phone calls. Although Touya does not know what happened to Syaoran, he does know that it's him you're worried about." My friend answered my calmly.
"You keep in touch with Oniichan?" How I missed him, even his constant teasing and name-calling. He was an overprotective brother, but I loved him all the same. With everything that was going on, I had put him into a corner of my mind. My heart stabbed with guilt once more. And Otosan, I had forgotten to call him yesterday and ask him about his new roommate he had told me about. A tear slid down my cheek. In the mist of everything, I had forgotten about my family, the most important thing.
"Just call him tonight, Sakura." Kaho said wisely. She had read my thoughts and somehow it was comforting, strange as it sounded. "Touya has been fine. Though he did mention that he missed you and hoped that the 'Chinese gaki' hadn't caused you too much trouble."
"He's not a gaki." I mumbled, partly to reflex. Kaho smiled and I blushed.
"What has happened just then, before I came?" She asked in such a motherly fashion that my eyes filled up with tears again.
"I asked it we could be.. Friends." I sobbed. "I don't even know what came over me. I couldn't stand hearing him reply so I ran and hid into my room. He didn't leave. and when he did." I hiccupped. "I remember that he had called.."
"You by your first name, am I right?" She finished for me. "Then you ran out after him." I nodded miserably. I'm such a baka, I repeated to myself.
I didn't dare raise my head, for I was filled with shame for what I had done. I had acted so coldly, without thinking about Syaoran's feelings at all.
"Sakura." The way she said my voice; I just had to raise my head and look into her calm red eyes. It was then I noticed that they had a shimmering twinkle inside them.
"Sometimes we do things without the slightest idea of what they mean until later." She said almost reprimanding. My heart stung with guilt again. Why was I always doing the wrong things? "But they represent true feelings at the time, do they not?" She asked with a slight smile.
My eyes began to water. My true feelings? My right hand began to shake. Yes, those were my true feelings.. I was scared and confused. I didn't want to be rejected twice by the man I love so much.
"The only thing we can do to make up for what we said is by facing what we have done. From there, we learn our most inner feelings, not of fear or confusion. The most inner feelings are of truth, like," she paused and smiled at me, "Love."
Love. Yes, I loved him. I was still waiting for him. And I would wait for him until he remembers everything. I would wait. He promised to come back so I had to keep mine and wait for him.
"Come, let's get you back to the hotel before Tomoyo and Eriol gets worried about you." She motioned, towards the door. I smiled and nodded. It was a true smile, one from my most inner feelings.
"Arigato." I said quietly as we walked side by side. I felt safe and secure around her; it was a comfortable feeling.
"Friends don't ask for thanks; they only wish that you are true to yourself, and that is, in every aspect, the true essence of friendship." Kaho replied, talking as if she were talking to a tree or a bird even. Her simple words dawned on me. There was nothing wrong with me and Syaoran being friends. If being friends can bring us closer, then so shall it be. I will still be waiting for him.
*** Syaoran's POV ***
I thought I heard Sakura calling my name over the crowd, but when tried as I could, I could not make out her face in the crowd despite the fact she had brown hair and not black. I sighed. Maybe it was my imagination. Maybe all this was my imagination. Had Sakura really asked to be friends? Why did she ask me to leave?
Frustrated that my thoughts were going nowhere, I called out, "Meiling!"
"What now, cousin?" She yelled back in her usual annoying tone.
"Just come here will you?" I shot back, ticked off even more by her tone being that I was already frustrated. She glided in my room and gave me a grin.
"So, I gathered that you came home just a while ago. Did you get in the track team?" Meiling asked casually, sitting down on the bed.
"Yes, it was easy," I replied quickly, "But that's not the point."
"Not the point?" Meiling asked, raising her eyebrows. I could see her thinking, and thinking a bit evilly too. "Oh, I see. So, dear cousin," She smirked at me. "How was your walk with Sakura to her hotel?"
D*mn her. How did she know that? Meiling was still smirking. "Wipe that smirk off you face, Meiling." I growled. She grinned smugly instead, her arms crossed in front of her chest.
"Oh dear cousin, you must remember that I've known you your whole life. I practically know everything that's going on in your mind." She just had to remind me, didn't she? "So, what happened with you and Sakura? Did you make her cry again?"
"I don't know!" I cried. I quickly summed up what had happened. Meiling actually was patient with me, for once, and listened to every word that I said.
"So what did you do when she asked if you and her could be friends?" Meiling prodded. I sighed and held my head in my hands.
"Well, before I could actually say anything, she apologized and ran to her room. Then she asked me to leave. I couldn't explain anything." Meiling looked at me almost sympathetically. "So I left. I didn't want to cause any more harm to her."
Meiling sighed and flopped on the bed. "For once, you did nothing wrong. This is only my guess, but I think Sakura's afraid."
"Afraid of what?" I said desperately. Meiling sat up from my bed and we locked eyes. Her red eyes were serious and yet contained sadness.
"Afraid of you leaving her again, breaking more promises. She'd rather love you from a distance than to be heartbroken all over again." Meiling's voice was somber and I was shocked at her words.
What had I done now? I'm such a baka, I said to myself, unknowingly echoing the words of Sakura.
"I'll leave you to think now, Xiao Lang." She said, getting to her feet. She looked at me once again. "Oh, and Kali called twenty minutes before."
Kali. I had forgotten all about her. I needed to make up for not spending much time with her. I gathered my thoughts and walked to the phone.
"Just tell her the truth." Meiling gave me her last piece of advice before she walked silently out the door. I stared after her and breathed a deep breath before calling Kali.
"Kali? You were looking for me?" I asked when she picked up the phone.
"Syaoran!" She gushed. "Congrats on getting in the track team!" her happy and enthusiastic voice cheered me up a bit.
"Thanks." I replied. Count on her in knowing all these stuff before I told her.
"No problem." She answered immediately.
"Hey, Kali?" I twirled the phone cord absently, not knowing how I should say the words that were coming next. I didn't even know if I should be saying them or not. Sakura, forgive me.
"Yeah?"
"I know I've been a bit busy lately so I haven't talked to you much. Maybe we could go out the dinner or something tonight?" I asked. What was I talking about? I had so many things on my mind. Oh, Sakura.
"Really?" Her voice asked cheerfully. I could just see her, her blue eyes shinning with delight. "I mean, you're busy. We can always eat another day." She offered, yet in her voice I could tell she wanted to go out today.
"I'm sure." I said. I couldn't just take back what I just said. "I'll pick you up at seven."
"Sure! See you later."
"Yeah, later." I hung the phone up and fell face upward on the bed. What had I gotten myself into now? Groaning, I got up and headed for the shower to get ready. Meiling was waiting for me with her arms crossed against her chest, leaning ever so coolly on the stair rail. She gave me one of her skeptical looks with one eyebrow raised.
"Don't even go there, Meiling." I growled.
"Wait a sec cuz." Her voice had certain steel to it that I had to listen. I turned around and looked wearily at her.
"What?" I asked exasperated.
"Where do you think you're going?"
"What are you now? My nanny?" I retorted. Meiling snorted inelegantly and leaned away from the railing.
"Very funny Xiao Lang," She replied, her voice dripping with sarcasm.
"I'm going for dinner with Kali if you HAVE to know." I said as I began descending down the stairs.
"With all your confused thoughts?" She called to me.
"I have to get them off my mind for a while." I replied.
"Whatever." She answered. As I walked to the door, I could hear her voice mumble, "Yeah sure, go off for a date with Kali for all I care. I mean, you're not the one alone every night."
Had she meant Sakura? My heart throbbed with guilt, but I had promised with Kali and that had to be done first. D*mn.
Kali was dressed elegantly in a white spaghetti strap and a beautifully decorated long blue skirt. The bottom was fringed and had embroidered butterflies on it. Her hair was let down, decorated with blue glittery butterfly clips and had matching earrings.
"You look splendid." I said gallantly. She blushed and smiled her thanks. We walked together off to a restaurant that we often went to because it was within walking distance and were a fancy place yet at a reasonable price.
*** Tomoyo's POV ***
I giggled lightly as Eriol made another interesting comment. I leaned contentedly on his shoulder and he wrapped an arm around me. I smiled and snuggled deeper into his hold. He chuckled lightly.
"Where are we going to dinner?" I asked, looking up at his blue eyes. He smiled lightly and kissed me lightly on the nose.
"It's a surprise sweetness." Eriol replied.
"Hmph." I replied. He grinned.
"Anything for my dearest princess." He teased, giving in easily. I stuck my tongue at him. "We're eating at his restaurant that Meiling told me about. It's called Dazzling Violets."
"Interesting name." I commented.
"Fits you perfectly." Eriol replied sweetly. I smiled at him.
"Aw, how sweet of you."
"Anything for my dearest princess." He replied again. I just smiled and breathed in the fresh smell of his body plus the light mixture of the cologne that I had given him on his last birthday. It was indescribable; it was just a cross between God and the most handsome man on Earth. Wait, Eriol was the most handsome man on Earth. Ah.. Oh well. He was just perfect. No question about that. I smiled contentedly as I snuggled against the crook of his arm. Eriol smiled and pulled me closer to me and steered me into the restaurant.
What I saw next made my body stiffen and my eyes boil with anger.
It was Syaoran with a blonde flirt. She was like, all over him! I wanted to yell, "get away from him, you b*tch," but I had no intentions of lowering myself to HER level. Grrr.. This angered me so much! She had harmed my best friend so much! I just have something against her. I don't know, but I just have this feeling that the whole accident wasn't Syaoran's fault. Somehow that dumb blonde had something to do with everything. My sixth sense has never totally failed me. Eriol often told me that I could often see and sense things better than normal. I hoped he was right for I was ready to strangle the girl if necessary.
"Calmly Tomoyo." Eriol warned me in my ear.
"How can I? That flirt took away my best friend's man of her life and you're asking me to be calm? How can I?" I demanded quietly yet furiously. Just seeing the blonde made me want to punch her in the face. Eriol just shook his head. I looked into his eyes and I could see his anger, but he concealed it.
I sighed. "Oh, alright." Eriol always had that way on me; that assurance that things will turn out okay.
He smiled and kissed me lightly on the lips. "That's what I love about you most." He said with a smile. I couldn't but help to blush lightly.
"Oh, Syaoran!" I greeted with fake pleasure. "I didn't imagine that I would meet you here." Syaoran looked at me surprised.
"Oh hey Tomoyo." He nodded back. I could see that he was nervous for his amber eyes were looking around wildly. I grinned evilly. His eyes flashed dangerously, threatening the next, Eriol or me, who talked next.
"Hello Syaoran. Whose this fair maiden?" Eriol asked innocently as if he didn't get the message, his blue eyes sparkling. I hide a smile. Eriol could be downright evil sometimes. I smiled. Well, that was what I liked about him sometimes!
"Oh, um.. She's Kali." Syaoran replied somewhat uncomfortably after he sent a glare towards Eriol.
Kali saw and gave Syaoran a weird look, but she ignored it and greeted us. "It's nice meeting you."
"I see." I said trying to sound sincere. I hope I wasn't acting too stiff. After all, I wanted to get some information about her. How could I be right in front of her and not do anything?
"Nice to meet you. You're..?" I asked.
"Oh, I'm his girlfriend." Kali replied with a smile. Her blue eyes sparkled.
"His girlfriend." Eriol repeated. The blonde nodded. "So I see, Syaoran. You never mentioned in your letters to me about her." He added.
"Or mine!" I chimed. Ohhh. I was simply downright evil. Oh hoho!
"Yeah, well um.." I could see Syaoran literally racking his brain for an answer.
"Why don't we get the same table? I'm sure Syaoran wouldn't mind and we can talk about with dinner." Kali suggested. Syaoran almost died at the thought of that. Eriol and me shared an evil look. This would be a good time for revenge.
"Sure, that would be great." I said eagerly. I smiled at Syaoran sweetly. "Wouldn't it Syaoran?"
"I'm sure he agrees, Tomoyo." Eriol replied for him, giving his descendant a charming smile.
I could practically hear Syaoran groan but he nodded, seeing that the votes were three against one.
*** Eriol's POV ***
Right. so this is Syaoran's little chick. Meiling said something about her and so did Tomoyo. If I remember correctly, she became Syaoran's little "girlfriend," after his accident. Hmm. I needed to get the details exact.
As the four sat down on the table, I placed myself next to Tomoyo and across from Syaoran. I have him a small smirk. He glared back but I just grinned cheerfully. Now this would be interesting. Tomoyo grinned at me; I knew she could see the evil ideas floating in my mind and I knew as well that she had many of her own.
"So. your name is?" I asked again, giving a dazzling smile to the blond.
"I'm Kali Jiang." The girl replied with a smile in return. "You must be Syaoran's friends! Introduce them to me," She said to her so-called "boyfriend."
Syaoran nodded, but he gave me a glare before he answered. I just smiled pleasantly back. Oh this was fun, teasing my little descendent. But this was little compared to what Sakura was going through. I wished I could do more for her.
"He's Eriol Hiiragizawa and she's Tomoyo Daidouji. They're both my friends from Japan." Syaoran said trying to sound calm. Kali smiled brightly at Tomoyo and me.
"So you're the ones who transferred to our school!" She exclaimed.
"Yeah, we are." Tomoyo replied coolly. I could see that she wanted to kill the girl sitting across from her. I held her hand under the table and gave it a tight squeeze. She smiled at me and nodded.
"So, Jiang, how did you and Syaoran meet? He must have been," Tomoyo paused and gave Syaoran her evil eye, "lucky to meet someone like you."
Oh. That was a beautiful one. I could see Syaoran giving Tomoyo the famous death glare. Tomoyo just smiled and focused her attention on Jiang.
"Yes, indeed." I chimed. "Syaoran, you should have mentioned it in your letters! I'm soooo interested!" Tomoyo and I shared a look. This night would be something of "important documentation."
"Well, when Syaoran transferred to the school we are in now, I just happened to be an office aid. So after a while, we became friends."
"Oh, I see. Then the sparks fell, ne?" Tomoyo said understandably. "Eriol and me were like that too."
"Um, no." Kali said somewhat embarrassedly. "Syaoran and I were walking one day and I happened to not watch where I was going." She blushed. "But Syaoran pushed me away before the car came. Thank god Syaoran was really hurt."
He's hurt more than you can imagine little girl. You have no idea what's it done to him, flipped his whole world upside down. Sakura's as well. I added silently in my mind.
"He's my hero." Kali said, clinging on Syaoran's arm. Syaoran looked at her and half smiled. I could see that he was embarrassed, yet he cared for this girl in some particular way that I could not comprehend.
Meanwhile my own girlfriend was a little mad. I could tell that she had gotten no "important" information about Kali.
"So, Syaoran. I heard from Sakura that both you and her got into the track team?" I asked, deciding to remind Syaoran about Sakura and to get somewhere Kali did not know of.
"Um. yeah." His face contained sadness when I mentioned Sakura's name. What had happened during the track tryouts?
"Syaoran's great at anything." Kali boasted. Tomoyo just nodded briskly, her eyes on Syaoran and he fidgeted under her strict gaze.
"Sakura and you seem to be getting along very well." Tomoyo commented.
"Whose Sakura?" the blonde beauty cut in. Tomoyo didn't even bother answering.
"She's a friend on mine and Tomoyo's," I answered. I was worried about Tomoyo. She seemed to know something that I did not.
"You guys almost seem like friends, just like before." She continued, her amethyst eyes penetrating.
Syaoran's eyes seem to cloud over with some thought. And he gently took his arm out of Kali's hold. He didn't even see her confused look. He looked at Tomoyo then at him. His amber eyes contained an indescribable sadness and confusion that I was surprised. Something had gotten between the two.
"Syaoran?" I asked gently. He looked at me.
"I'm such a baka." He said to me quietly.
"You're not a baka!" Kali defended obstinately. Syaoran just ignored her. I held my gaze steady. Suddenly I understood something. Nodding to Tomoyo, the two of us stood up.
"Excuse me, Tomoyo and I still have something to do." I said polietly, directing my words to Kali. "It's been nice seeing you here, Jiang."
"We'll see you both at school Monday," Tomoyo added with a smile. "Ja ne, Syaoran-kun. Good night Jiang." The two of us gave Syaoran another worried look before walking quickly out the automatic doors.
"What could have happened now?" Tomoyo wailed sadly as we took the taxi home, hoping that Sakura was okay without us there.
"Whatever happened, it's influenced Syaoran as well. He's been thinking about her." I stated, trying to hide my worries. Tomoyo just nodded.
*** Syaoran's POV ***
Oh God, what did I do now? I'm such a baka. I actually said all that stuff out loud. God, I hate myself.
"Syaoran, are you okay?" Kali's voice was concerned yet puzzled. She knew nothing of what happened and I didn't blame her the least.
"Gomen." I said quickly, giving her a smile. She smiled, but she was still confused, but she didn't ask questions. That was what I liked about her the best, I guess; she knew when she wasn't to ask questions and I was grateful for that.
"Let's get you back home. You don't look too well." Kali suggested. I was too tired to argue with her and the both of us went back home, although I walked her back home. I had just ruined another day for her. Grrr..
"Gomen Kali. I didn't think things would end up like this." I apologized sincerely. The blonde gave me an elegant smile and shook her head.
"It's okay." She replied. "Night, Syaoran."
"Night." I answered and walked off towards home myself.
*** Third POV ***
Kali smiled as she watched Syaoran leave. Unlocking her door, she stepped inside and flickered on the lights. Getting out a sliver necklace, she put it over her head. She rubbed the pendant. Things were going a little weird. She needed to make changes in her plans again.
She smiled secretively. In the end, things would be absolutely perfect.
"What are you going to do now, Li Syaoran?" A voice asked. A laugh followed. "It won't be long now. Not long indeed."
"I agree. This is going to be interesting to watch." Another voice echoed.
"Very." The first speaker repeated. This is going to be perfect.
*** How was it?? *Sobs * Gomen this chapter was pretty sad. *Sobs * I just didn't want to progress things TOO quickly. Hmmm. don't kill me for the lack of sweetness of this chapter. Please. It is after all, a S+S fic. Yep. Now, after this long chapter that I posted the night BEFORE my PSATs next morning, thank me and write a review! I should be studying you know! But I promised that I would try to get a chapter out each week. Review, please~~ Rainbow Dreamer.
By Rainbow Dreamer and co-author Cryst and Ying Fa
*Dedicated to Cryst and Ying Fa, who have helped me with this story. If it weren't for you both, none of this would of happened. Arigato.
DISCLAIMER: I do NOT, I repeat, do NOT own CCS. It belongs to Clamp!
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Wow. Chapter Fifteen already! I never thought I'd write so much and this is because all of you readers out there. I truly thank you and no matter now many thank-yous I say, it won't be enough. The only thing I can do is what you all suggest: keep writing! Thank you all for expanding my interest in writing! Rainbow Dreamer.
Oh yes, almost forgot, a special character arriving in this chapter! SURPRISE!
IF YOU REVIEWED FOR THE LAST CHAPTER, LOOK FOR YOUR NAME UNDER SPECIAL THANKS BELOW!
SPECIAL THANKS TO: The human who left their name anonymous: Stop yelling, here's the next chapter! Kawaii-Cherry Wolf: * shock * you used a bad word. LOL. Just kidding. Tina: Well, I would be ABLE to write 100 pages, but I personally think I would do a much better job if I cut them into "chapters" and you all reviewed! ( I Love Li Syaoran: lol.. Don't have to threaten me, I know when my life's at stake! Here's the next chapter and say no more! LoL. Cat: Here's the next chapter, although no promises that there will be no cliffhangers in the future; gomen about that. Usagi yf: Oh! You're a cheerleader! Hehe. I'm glad it's okay that Ryoko is similar to Ryu. It's just that I saw too many fics using this wonderful name. Emerald Rose: I love being home alone too! ( AZNangel20: Gomen that I'm making Sakura going through all this pain. Syaoran's in pain as well though. They're in this together. Things will be okay in the end. at least I think so. Just keep reading. Arigato KireiAyumi: Thanks for you support! I love this story as well lol. gosh, I'm laughing a lot today! LoL. CherryzAngel: I'm SO glad that you exist! I love your reviews~! I'm glad that you like how I respond back you readers. I'm just GLAD that people actually read them, you know. I was worried that no one did! ( Orchid Angel: As for your wish, it's going to happen later I suppose. Gomen! PnairRose8: lol. now I don't want your eyes to pop out now do I? LoL. You're the first person to say that cliffhangers are all right! LoL. You go girl!
CHAPTER FIFTEEN: I'm Such a Baka
*** Syaoran's POV ***
"Can we be friends?" She asked me suddenly, as she raised her head up searching for the answer in my eyes.
I think my heart just failed me. Either that or it was just pounding too fast.
*** Sakura's POV ***
Did I just say what I just said? How could I have been so stupid as to say that? He doesn't even remember who I am in his past! * Friends? * The voice of doubt in my head said mockingly. * Whatever. *
"Gomen, forget what I said." I said quickly, looking at my feet. "I didn't mean it." With that I quickly opened my door and shut it behind me.
"Wait, Sakura!" Syaoran's voice was on the other end. I shut my eyes and leaned on the door, my hands behind my back. Please leave. I don't want to make a fool out of myself.
"Open the door," he demanded desperately, knocking on the door with his fist.
No, no please. I just can't stand another long explanation why we can't be friends. I know we can't. We have too much things between us and you don't know anything. I can't stand this.
"Please, Syaoran, just go." I whispered.
*** Syaoran's POV**
I couldn't just leave. I just couldn't. There was something I needed to tell her. There are so many things about us that I want to ask her. Why did I always say the wrong things?
Friends. That sounded like a dream.
"Arigato for the drink and walking me back home, Li-kun." Sakura's voice was teary and emotional. I felt like crying myself.
"It was nothing." I replied. This was like talking to a wall, or rather a door and it hurt.
"Demo, forget what I said. I don't even know what I was thinking. Friends." Sakura's laugh was harsh and it hurt against my ears.
"Sakura, just listen to me, will you?" I demanded desperately.
"Leave. please, Li-kun." Her voice was so sad that I couldn't bear giving more pain than I already had.
"Alright, but only for you." I said. I walked back down the hall silently, overcome with grief. Why didn't she want to know how I feel? Does she not care about me anymore? I mean.. I wanted to be friends. Why couldn't we be friends?
*** Sakura's POV ***
Did he just say what I thought he did? Only for me? He cared that much for me? Tears rolled down my cheeks as I slid slowly to the floor. Why was this happening? I knew I couldn't stand a chance, being so close to him.
I closed my eyes and let his last words sink into my skin.
He had called me Sakura. My eyes flew open. He had called my name. my first name. And I, I called him by his last name! Ah! I'm such a baka! Fumbling with the lock, I yanked the door open.
"Syaoran!" I gasped as I ran into the hall, almost stumbling over my own feet.
No one was there anymore. He was gone. Another chance had slipped through my hands! My heart pained. Crying, I ran down the stairs in hope that I could catch up with him. Oh, Syaoran. Please, come back.
"Syaoran!" I called over and over again as I stepped out the hotel, the gusting wind blew at my hair. "Syaoran!" People around me stared at me as if I were crazy. I didn't care. I just wanted to be with him again, even if we were just friends. Syaoran.
I ran up and down the street through the crowd but I couldn't see him. Oh, God, please let me find him. I can't stand not having him by my side again. "Syaoran!" I called out again, but my voice was cracking and my throat hoarse from yelling. I looked around wildly; this was a place I didn't know. Now I was lost, so much for irony. I can still hear Eriol's reminder to not get lost. I gritted my teeth and pushed those thoughts further behind in my head. I needed to find Syaoran. That was all that mattered now.
"Sakura." Someone called my name. Someone familiar yet, it wasn't Syaoran's voice. Hands were placed on my shoulders comfortably. I breathed in a smell from long ago. A smell that made me feel.. Me again. I stopped in my tracks thinking.
"Sakura?" The voice questioned me this time, full of concern. Turning around, I looked up into a pair of smiling red eyes. I felt my eyes water and the arms pulled me into a tight embrace.
"Gomen!" I cried "Ms.."
"Sakura, I'm your friend. I would appreciate it if you would call me by my name as I have for you." The soothing voice comforted me as if I had wrapped a warm blanket around myself.
I smiled through my tears. "Arigato Ms. I mean, Kaho."
"Let's go somewhere quieter and then we can talk," She suggested with a sense of motherly love. It was something I missed.
"It's about Syaoran." I said, tears rolling down my cheeks as I sit timidly on the red fake leather seats of a small teahouse. Kaho nodded urged me to take another sip of the warm tea she had ordered for me. It's rose and lemon scented tea filled me in a soothing way.
"I know." She replied with a small smile.
"You do?" I said, clearly surprised.
"Yes. Eriol has told me in his letters and phone calls. Although Touya does not know what happened to Syaoran, he does know that it's him you're worried about." My friend answered my calmly.
"You keep in touch with Oniichan?" How I missed him, even his constant teasing and name-calling. He was an overprotective brother, but I loved him all the same. With everything that was going on, I had put him into a corner of my mind. My heart stabbed with guilt once more. And Otosan, I had forgotten to call him yesterday and ask him about his new roommate he had told me about. A tear slid down my cheek. In the mist of everything, I had forgotten about my family, the most important thing.
"Just call him tonight, Sakura." Kaho said wisely. She had read my thoughts and somehow it was comforting, strange as it sounded. "Touya has been fine. Though he did mention that he missed you and hoped that the 'Chinese gaki' hadn't caused you too much trouble."
"He's not a gaki." I mumbled, partly to reflex. Kaho smiled and I blushed.
"What has happened just then, before I came?" She asked in such a motherly fashion that my eyes filled up with tears again.
"I asked it we could be.. Friends." I sobbed. "I don't even know what came over me. I couldn't stand hearing him reply so I ran and hid into my room. He didn't leave. and when he did." I hiccupped. "I remember that he had called.."
"You by your first name, am I right?" She finished for me. "Then you ran out after him." I nodded miserably. I'm such a baka, I repeated to myself.
I didn't dare raise my head, for I was filled with shame for what I had done. I had acted so coldly, without thinking about Syaoran's feelings at all.
"Sakura." The way she said my voice; I just had to raise my head and look into her calm red eyes. It was then I noticed that they had a shimmering twinkle inside them.
"Sometimes we do things without the slightest idea of what they mean until later." She said almost reprimanding. My heart stung with guilt again. Why was I always doing the wrong things? "But they represent true feelings at the time, do they not?" She asked with a slight smile.
My eyes began to water. My true feelings? My right hand began to shake. Yes, those were my true feelings.. I was scared and confused. I didn't want to be rejected twice by the man I love so much.
"The only thing we can do to make up for what we said is by facing what we have done. From there, we learn our most inner feelings, not of fear or confusion. The most inner feelings are of truth, like," she paused and smiled at me, "Love."
Love. Yes, I loved him. I was still waiting for him. And I would wait for him until he remembers everything. I would wait. He promised to come back so I had to keep mine and wait for him.
"Come, let's get you back to the hotel before Tomoyo and Eriol gets worried about you." She motioned, towards the door. I smiled and nodded. It was a true smile, one from my most inner feelings.
"Arigato." I said quietly as we walked side by side. I felt safe and secure around her; it was a comfortable feeling.
"Friends don't ask for thanks; they only wish that you are true to yourself, and that is, in every aspect, the true essence of friendship." Kaho replied, talking as if she were talking to a tree or a bird even. Her simple words dawned on me. There was nothing wrong with me and Syaoran being friends. If being friends can bring us closer, then so shall it be. I will still be waiting for him.
*** Syaoran's POV ***
I thought I heard Sakura calling my name over the crowd, but when tried as I could, I could not make out her face in the crowd despite the fact she had brown hair and not black. I sighed. Maybe it was my imagination. Maybe all this was my imagination. Had Sakura really asked to be friends? Why did she ask me to leave?
Frustrated that my thoughts were going nowhere, I called out, "Meiling!"
"What now, cousin?" She yelled back in her usual annoying tone.
"Just come here will you?" I shot back, ticked off even more by her tone being that I was already frustrated. She glided in my room and gave me a grin.
"So, I gathered that you came home just a while ago. Did you get in the track team?" Meiling asked casually, sitting down on the bed.
"Yes, it was easy," I replied quickly, "But that's not the point."
"Not the point?" Meiling asked, raising her eyebrows. I could see her thinking, and thinking a bit evilly too. "Oh, I see. So, dear cousin," She smirked at me. "How was your walk with Sakura to her hotel?"
D*mn her. How did she know that? Meiling was still smirking. "Wipe that smirk off you face, Meiling." I growled. She grinned smugly instead, her arms crossed in front of her chest.
"Oh dear cousin, you must remember that I've known you your whole life. I practically know everything that's going on in your mind." She just had to remind me, didn't she? "So, what happened with you and Sakura? Did you make her cry again?"
"I don't know!" I cried. I quickly summed up what had happened. Meiling actually was patient with me, for once, and listened to every word that I said.
"So what did you do when she asked if you and her could be friends?" Meiling prodded. I sighed and held my head in my hands.
"Well, before I could actually say anything, she apologized and ran to her room. Then she asked me to leave. I couldn't explain anything." Meiling looked at me almost sympathetically. "So I left. I didn't want to cause any more harm to her."
Meiling sighed and flopped on the bed. "For once, you did nothing wrong. This is only my guess, but I think Sakura's afraid."
"Afraid of what?" I said desperately. Meiling sat up from my bed and we locked eyes. Her red eyes were serious and yet contained sadness.
"Afraid of you leaving her again, breaking more promises. She'd rather love you from a distance than to be heartbroken all over again." Meiling's voice was somber and I was shocked at her words.
What had I done now? I'm such a baka, I said to myself, unknowingly echoing the words of Sakura.
"I'll leave you to think now, Xiao Lang." She said, getting to her feet. She looked at me once again. "Oh, and Kali called twenty minutes before."
Kali. I had forgotten all about her. I needed to make up for not spending much time with her. I gathered my thoughts and walked to the phone.
"Just tell her the truth." Meiling gave me her last piece of advice before she walked silently out the door. I stared after her and breathed a deep breath before calling Kali.
"Kali? You were looking for me?" I asked when she picked up the phone.
"Syaoran!" She gushed. "Congrats on getting in the track team!" her happy and enthusiastic voice cheered me up a bit.
"Thanks." I replied. Count on her in knowing all these stuff before I told her.
"No problem." She answered immediately.
"Hey, Kali?" I twirled the phone cord absently, not knowing how I should say the words that were coming next. I didn't even know if I should be saying them or not. Sakura, forgive me.
"Yeah?"
"I know I've been a bit busy lately so I haven't talked to you much. Maybe we could go out the dinner or something tonight?" I asked. What was I talking about? I had so many things on my mind. Oh, Sakura.
"Really?" Her voice asked cheerfully. I could just see her, her blue eyes shinning with delight. "I mean, you're busy. We can always eat another day." She offered, yet in her voice I could tell she wanted to go out today.
"I'm sure." I said. I couldn't just take back what I just said. "I'll pick you up at seven."
"Sure! See you later."
"Yeah, later." I hung the phone up and fell face upward on the bed. What had I gotten myself into now? Groaning, I got up and headed for the shower to get ready. Meiling was waiting for me with her arms crossed against her chest, leaning ever so coolly on the stair rail. She gave me one of her skeptical looks with one eyebrow raised.
"Don't even go there, Meiling." I growled.
"Wait a sec cuz." Her voice had certain steel to it that I had to listen. I turned around and looked wearily at her.
"What?" I asked exasperated.
"Where do you think you're going?"
"What are you now? My nanny?" I retorted. Meiling snorted inelegantly and leaned away from the railing.
"Very funny Xiao Lang," She replied, her voice dripping with sarcasm.
"I'm going for dinner with Kali if you HAVE to know." I said as I began descending down the stairs.
"With all your confused thoughts?" She called to me.
"I have to get them off my mind for a while." I replied.
"Whatever." She answered. As I walked to the door, I could hear her voice mumble, "Yeah sure, go off for a date with Kali for all I care. I mean, you're not the one alone every night."
Had she meant Sakura? My heart throbbed with guilt, but I had promised with Kali and that had to be done first. D*mn.
Kali was dressed elegantly in a white spaghetti strap and a beautifully decorated long blue skirt. The bottom was fringed and had embroidered butterflies on it. Her hair was let down, decorated with blue glittery butterfly clips and had matching earrings.
"You look splendid." I said gallantly. She blushed and smiled her thanks. We walked together off to a restaurant that we often went to because it was within walking distance and were a fancy place yet at a reasonable price.
*** Tomoyo's POV ***
I giggled lightly as Eriol made another interesting comment. I leaned contentedly on his shoulder and he wrapped an arm around me. I smiled and snuggled deeper into his hold. He chuckled lightly.
"Where are we going to dinner?" I asked, looking up at his blue eyes. He smiled lightly and kissed me lightly on the nose.
"It's a surprise sweetness." Eriol replied.
"Hmph." I replied. He grinned.
"Anything for my dearest princess." He teased, giving in easily. I stuck my tongue at him. "We're eating at his restaurant that Meiling told me about. It's called Dazzling Violets."
"Interesting name." I commented.
"Fits you perfectly." Eriol replied sweetly. I smiled at him.
"Aw, how sweet of you."
"Anything for my dearest princess." He replied again. I just smiled and breathed in the fresh smell of his body plus the light mixture of the cologne that I had given him on his last birthday. It was indescribable; it was just a cross between God and the most handsome man on Earth. Wait, Eriol was the most handsome man on Earth. Ah.. Oh well. He was just perfect. No question about that. I smiled contentedly as I snuggled against the crook of his arm. Eriol smiled and pulled me closer to me and steered me into the restaurant.
What I saw next made my body stiffen and my eyes boil with anger.
It was Syaoran with a blonde flirt. She was like, all over him! I wanted to yell, "get away from him, you b*tch," but I had no intentions of lowering myself to HER level. Grrr.. This angered me so much! She had harmed my best friend so much! I just have something against her. I don't know, but I just have this feeling that the whole accident wasn't Syaoran's fault. Somehow that dumb blonde had something to do with everything. My sixth sense has never totally failed me. Eriol often told me that I could often see and sense things better than normal. I hoped he was right for I was ready to strangle the girl if necessary.
"Calmly Tomoyo." Eriol warned me in my ear.
"How can I? That flirt took away my best friend's man of her life and you're asking me to be calm? How can I?" I demanded quietly yet furiously. Just seeing the blonde made me want to punch her in the face. Eriol just shook his head. I looked into his eyes and I could see his anger, but he concealed it.
I sighed. "Oh, alright." Eriol always had that way on me; that assurance that things will turn out okay.
He smiled and kissed me lightly on the lips. "That's what I love about you most." He said with a smile. I couldn't but help to blush lightly.
"Oh, Syaoran!" I greeted with fake pleasure. "I didn't imagine that I would meet you here." Syaoran looked at me surprised.
"Oh hey Tomoyo." He nodded back. I could see that he was nervous for his amber eyes were looking around wildly. I grinned evilly. His eyes flashed dangerously, threatening the next, Eriol or me, who talked next.
"Hello Syaoran. Whose this fair maiden?" Eriol asked innocently as if he didn't get the message, his blue eyes sparkling. I hide a smile. Eriol could be downright evil sometimes. I smiled. Well, that was what I liked about him sometimes!
"Oh, um.. She's Kali." Syaoran replied somewhat uncomfortably after he sent a glare towards Eriol.
Kali saw and gave Syaoran a weird look, but she ignored it and greeted us. "It's nice meeting you."
"I see." I said trying to sound sincere. I hope I wasn't acting too stiff. After all, I wanted to get some information about her. How could I be right in front of her and not do anything?
"Nice to meet you. You're..?" I asked.
"Oh, I'm his girlfriend." Kali replied with a smile. Her blue eyes sparkled.
"His girlfriend." Eriol repeated. The blonde nodded. "So I see, Syaoran. You never mentioned in your letters to me about her." He added.
"Or mine!" I chimed. Ohhh. I was simply downright evil. Oh hoho!
"Yeah, well um.." I could see Syaoran literally racking his brain for an answer.
"Why don't we get the same table? I'm sure Syaoran wouldn't mind and we can talk about with dinner." Kali suggested. Syaoran almost died at the thought of that. Eriol and me shared an evil look. This would be a good time for revenge.
"Sure, that would be great." I said eagerly. I smiled at Syaoran sweetly. "Wouldn't it Syaoran?"
"I'm sure he agrees, Tomoyo." Eriol replied for him, giving his descendant a charming smile.
I could practically hear Syaoran groan but he nodded, seeing that the votes were three against one.
*** Eriol's POV ***
Right. so this is Syaoran's little chick. Meiling said something about her and so did Tomoyo. If I remember correctly, she became Syaoran's little "girlfriend," after his accident. Hmm. I needed to get the details exact.
As the four sat down on the table, I placed myself next to Tomoyo and across from Syaoran. I have him a small smirk. He glared back but I just grinned cheerfully. Now this would be interesting. Tomoyo grinned at me; I knew she could see the evil ideas floating in my mind and I knew as well that she had many of her own.
"So. your name is?" I asked again, giving a dazzling smile to the blond.
"I'm Kali Jiang." The girl replied with a smile in return. "You must be Syaoran's friends! Introduce them to me," She said to her so-called "boyfriend."
Syaoran nodded, but he gave me a glare before he answered. I just smiled pleasantly back. Oh this was fun, teasing my little descendent. But this was little compared to what Sakura was going through. I wished I could do more for her.
"He's Eriol Hiiragizawa and she's Tomoyo Daidouji. They're both my friends from Japan." Syaoran said trying to sound calm. Kali smiled brightly at Tomoyo and me.
"So you're the ones who transferred to our school!" She exclaimed.
"Yeah, we are." Tomoyo replied coolly. I could see that she wanted to kill the girl sitting across from her. I held her hand under the table and gave it a tight squeeze. She smiled at me and nodded.
"So, Jiang, how did you and Syaoran meet? He must have been," Tomoyo paused and gave Syaoran her evil eye, "lucky to meet someone like you."
Oh. That was a beautiful one. I could see Syaoran giving Tomoyo the famous death glare. Tomoyo just smiled and focused her attention on Jiang.
"Yes, indeed." I chimed. "Syaoran, you should have mentioned it in your letters! I'm soooo interested!" Tomoyo and I shared a look. This night would be something of "important documentation."
"Well, when Syaoran transferred to the school we are in now, I just happened to be an office aid. So after a while, we became friends."
"Oh, I see. Then the sparks fell, ne?" Tomoyo said understandably. "Eriol and me were like that too."
"Um, no." Kali said somewhat embarrassedly. "Syaoran and I were walking one day and I happened to not watch where I was going." She blushed. "But Syaoran pushed me away before the car came. Thank god Syaoran was really hurt."
He's hurt more than you can imagine little girl. You have no idea what's it done to him, flipped his whole world upside down. Sakura's as well. I added silently in my mind.
"He's my hero." Kali said, clinging on Syaoran's arm. Syaoran looked at her and half smiled. I could see that he was embarrassed, yet he cared for this girl in some particular way that I could not comprehend.
Meanwhile my own girlfriend was a little mad. I could tell that she had gotten no "important" information about Kali.
"So, Syaoran. I heard from Sakura that both you and her got into the track team?" I asked, deciding to remind Syaoran about Sakura and to get somewhere Kali did not know of.
"Um. yeah." His face contained sadness when I mentioned Sakura's name. What had happened during the track tryouts?
"Syaoran's great at anything." Kali boasted. Tomoyo just nodded briskly, her eyes on Syaoran and he fidgeted under her strict gaze.
"Sakura and you seem to be getting along very well." Tomoyo commented.
"Whose Sakura?" the blonde beauty cut in. Tomoyo didn't even bother answering.
"She's a friend on mine and Tomoyo's," I answered. I was worried about Tomoyo. She seemed to know something that I did not.
"You guys almost seem like friends, just like before." She continued, her amethyst eyes penetrating.
Syaoran's eyes seem to cloud over with some thought. And he gently took his arm out of Kali's hold. He didn't even see her confused look. He looked at Tomoyo then at him. His amber eyes contained an indescribable sadness and confusion that I was surprised. Something had gotten between the two.
"Syaoran?" I asked gently. He looked at me.
"I'm such a baka." He said to me quietly.
"You're not a baka!" Kali defended obstinately. Syaoran just ignored her. I held my gaze steady. Suddenly I understood something. Nodding to Tomoyo, the two of us stood up.
"Excuse me, Tomoyo and I still have something to do." I said polietly, directing my words to Kali. "It's been nice seeing you here, Jiang."
"We'll see you both at school Monday," Tomoyo added with a smile. "Ja ne, Syaoran-kun. Good night Jiang." The two of us gave Syaoran another worried look before walking quickly out the automatic doors.
"What could have happened now?" Tomoyo wailed sadly as we took the taxi home, hoping that Sakura was okay without us there.
"Whatever happened, it's influenced Syaoran as well. He's been thinking about her." I stated, trying to hide my worries. Tomoyo just nodded.
*** Syaoran's POV ***
Oh God, what did I do now? I'm such a baka. I actually said all that stuff out loud. God, I hate myself.
"Syaoran, are you okay?" Kali's voice was concerned yet puzzled. She knew nothing of what happened and I didn't blame her the least.
"Gomen." I said quickly, giving her a smile. She smiled, but she was still confused, but she didn't ask questions. That was what I liked about her the best, I guess; she knew when she wasn't to ask questions and I was grateful for that.
"Let's get you back home. You don't look too well." Kali suggested. I was too tired to argue with her and the both of us went back home, although I walked her back home. I had just ruined another day for her. Grrr..
"Gomen Kali. I didn't think things would end up like this." I apologized sincerely. The blonde gave me an elegant smile and shook her head.
"It's okay." She replied. "Night, Syaoran."
"Night." I answered and walked off towards home myself.
*** Third POV ***
Kali smiled as she watched Syaoran leave. Unlocking her door, she stepped inside and flickered on the lights. Getting out a sliver necklace, she put it over her head. She rubbed the pendant. Things were going a little weird. She needed to make changes in her plans again.
She smiled secretively. In the end, things would be absolutely perfect.
"What are you going to do now, Li Syaoran?" A voice asked. A laugh followed. "It won't be long now. Not long indeed."
"I agree. This is going to be interesting to watch." Another voice echoed.
"Very." The first speaker repeated. This is going to be perfect.
*** How was it?? *Sobs * Gomen this chapter was pretty sad. *Sobs * I just didn't want to progress things TOO quickly. Hmmm. don't kill me for the lack of sweetness of this chapter. Please. It is after all, a S+S fic. Yep. Now, after this long chapter that I posted the night BEFORE my PSATs next morning, thank me and write a review! I should be studying you know! But I promised that I would try to get a chapter out each week. Review, please~~ Rainbow Dreamer.