* Disclaimer: Standard disclaimer applies.

In Search of the Lost Sapphire
Chapter 7: The Reason

"Kao...." Kenshin was about to say her name, but a movement behind her prevented him from saying it. His eyes narrowed dangerously.

A click was heard. Violet eyes turned gold as a realization dawned upon his mind.

The shadowy figure behind her stood tall and pointed something at her. By that time Kenshin had already made up his mind.

BANG!!! And everything went black for him.

****************************

He was there again; he realized that as soon as he opened his eyes. The same place, the same people, the same war.... The redhead wandered the broken ground, wondering how beautiful it had been in its glorious era, before the atrocity of war reached it and tainted its purity.

He recognized a woman crying over her dead son. He had seen her in one of his dreams. He saw a girl, astray and lost, walking without destination. In her hands was her broken doll. Her clothes were tainted with blood. Kenshin didn't even want to know what happened to her parents. It wouldn't be something's nice for sure.

And so the list went on and on, adding up to his depression. He finally slumped against a tree, his mind screaming, Why all these things? And the worst thing is that I'm powerless to do something about it! Why do I have to see all this?!

"Because this is the real world...."

Kenshin was startled to hear that soft voice. The scent of jasmine told him who it was without him having to look at her. "Kaoru..."

An older version of Kaoru - she was no longer a girl, but she had become a woman - stood before him, wearing the same expression just like he had always seen her. A smile with a tinge of sadness. Sorrowful eyes but not without a spark of hope. Those were the same expression that had always haunted his conscience.

Kenshin looked pleadingly at her. "Kaoru.. why me? Why this dream? Am I supposed to do something? Then tell me... Tell me please, cause I'm losing my mind..."

Kaoru didn't answer him. Instead she gazed at some children afar. Her eyes saddened as she stared at innocent beings who shared the same fate as her; parentless and alone, they have to face the cruelty of this world by themselves.

Kenshin followed her gaze. Then he said, "Is that what I have to do? Take those children out of this war? Do I have to take them out of this misery and suffering?"

While holding her gaze steady at those children, Kaoru said the words that would forever be engraved in Kenshin's mind, "You can take a child out of a war. You can take a child out of his misery and suffering. But I ask you this: how do you take a war out of a child? How do you take misery and suffering out of a child? Their pretty eyes are poisoned with violence and agony. Their innocent soul are wounded by the brutality of war they should have never seen. How would you heal those eyes and mend those wounds?" (#)

***

The sound of the birds tweeting and chirping happily woke a particular redhead from his deep slumber. Dreams... Lately I've been getting more and more dreams.... The first dream was quite strange. I fought some bad guys and wounded.... His eyes still closed, Kenshin turned his body around, trying to look for more comfortable position. But the pain he felt in his right arm prevented him from doing so. Ouch! What the... It was just a dream, wasn't it?

He opened his eyes and the first thing that came into his mind was, Where the hell am I and what the hell is this place? And what happened to me? He found himself lying upon a stack of hay with broken arm and sore muscles all over his body. On his left shoulder was a shot-wound, but someone had already patched the wound. Bandages were wrapped around his chest neatly.

The redhead glanced at a black mare at the corner. This must be a stable.... His eyes widened as he recognized Okina's white stallion beside it. Memories of what happened that night began to come back as he closed his eyes.

I was attacked.... His fight with the thugs flashed in his mind. I broke my arm and twisted my ankle. Then a woman came.... His eyes suddenly snapped open. Kaoru!! I barely said her name when one of those bastards pointed a gun at her. Then.... I don't know anymore.. He began to look around him frantically. Where is she? Is she all right? Please, don't let me lose her again! Not now that I've found her....

Kenshin was just about to get up despite his condition when the door of the stable creaked open, exposing his eyes to the morning sunray that he was temporarily blinded by it. Reflexively he shielded his eyes with his good arm. Then he heard a gentle voice scolded his attempt to get up. "Aah.. you're awake... please stay down. You are not completely healed yet. If you move too much you'll damage the stitch..."

He didn't need a face to know who the owner of the voice is. The redhead recognized Kaoru's voice the minute she greeted him. Her name escaped his lips softly, "Kaoru...." Seconds passed and as Kenshin regained his vision he lowered his left arm. Then when he saw the person who stood right before him, his lips curved into a serene smile. "I've found you.... Finally..."

It was Kaoru indeed. She stood there, simply smiling back at Kenshin. Her right hand held a tray, while the other carried a medical toolbox. Seconds later she had already kneeled down at his side. Then she took a roll of bandages out of the toolbox began to unroll it. "I brought some fresh bandages to replace the old ones. So if you'd stay still..."

While Kaoru was tending his wounds, Kenshin kept looking at her intently. Her long dark hair was braided and her outfit was the outfit of a rancher: simply a white blouse with dark blue scarf matching the color of her eyes around her neck and dark blue jeans. Nevertheless, she was still beautiful to him. Indeed, no longer a child, she has become a woman... Unconsciously he lifted a hand and touched her cheek, caressing it softly.

At first Kaoru had become a little bit tense; such gesture made her nervous. But then she relaxed. It is strange... but it feels so right.... It feels like we've known each other for a long time. It seems natural for us to be close to each other, to have this man caressing my cheek.... She blushed a little at the thought, and felt a twinge of disappointment when she felt his hand withdrawing from her face.

"Uhm... I'm sorry..." Kenshin muttered an apology, mentally slapping himself for being so forward. Now she thinks you're a freak.... Great, you've gone and gone it, man!

After a few moments of silence and awkwardness Kaoru finally began to speak, "So you know my name..."

Kenshin nodded slowly. "Kaoru..."

She acknowledged it by smiling warmly. "Did I ever tell you my name? I don't remember telling you that..."

Kenshin had no idea whether Kaoru had been getting the same dreams. Whether the encounter in those dreams had been real.... Unsure of how to answer this question, he decided to take a bet. "You did. Well... not exactly. You used your name to address yourself. Then I asked for your confirmation."

Her brows furrowed, digging up her memories. Then her sapphire eyes gazed directly into Kenshin's violet eyes. "Where was it again?"

She hasn't. I'm doomed. But Kenshin didn't just give up. He felt that the woman recognized him the moment their eyes met that night. So he went on further. "Let me think... it was a war. I don't know where it was. Oh yeah, it was the first time..."

"...we really talked." Kaoru finished it for him, her face already brightened. "I remember now. Beforehand I've always run away...." She grinned sheepishly. "But you caught me that time."

She has! She remembers! Kenshin grinned as well. "Yeah, I did.... You were a little girl in that dream."

"That's right..." She was deep in thought for a few seconds, before going back to changing Kenshin's bandages. "In my dreams I am sometimes a child, sometimes an adult..."

Both fell silent as Kaoru kept working diligently. Soon it was finished and she began to tidy up the medical equipment. "There... It is done. Oh yeah, I brought you some food also. You must be hungry...."

"Thanks." Kenshin said as Kaoru put the tray in his lap. The smell of the soup and the side of the sandwich on the tray made him realize how hungry he was. His stomach even confirmed it. "Uuh... sorry..."

She waved her hand dismissively. "It's okay. You haven't eaten for two days. It's completely normal."

"Two days?!! Have I been out that long?"

"Yeah.... Now go eat, before you die starving.."

"Want some?"

"No, thanks. It's for you."

Few minutes passed by in silence as Kenshin ate. All the while Kaoru just sat beside him, watching him intensely. She tore her gaze away from the handsome redhead only when he caught her staring at him.

"You know... I still don't know your name..." Kaoru said slowly. "You've never told me...," there was a slight pause before she grinned and said, "...Mister..."

Kenshin was startled to hear the last word. It's been so long since he heard it from Kaoru. He stopped eating and turned his head to find her smiling sweetly at him. He couldn't help but to smile back. "I haven't told you indeed.... It's Kenshin." He bowed slightly to her direction. "Watashi wa Himura Kenshin."

"Kenshin...." Kaoru whispered softly. "Thank you..."

"What for?" Kenshin asked while he was chewing the sandwich.

"For saving my life. If you hadn't put yourself in front of me, I would have been dead by now...."

"No... I'm the one who should thank you.... If you hadn't come.... So thank you, for saving my life...." Kenshin paused for a few moments. "What happened after I passed out?"

"I was quite panic after you passed out. That bastard had a gun and I thought you were dead. Then I heard another click. But the shot never came. She..." Kaoru glanced at her black mare at the corner of the stable.. "...neighed angrily and lifted her front legs wildly, distracting him for a moment. But it was enough for me to knock him out..."

"You're a practitioner of kendo too? I saw it in your movement that night...."

"Yes. It was the style my ancestor had developed and taught over the generations, Kamiya Kasshin Ryuu. Anyway, hospitals are too far away, and you're bleeding quite profusely, so I decided to bring you here.... You know the rest, I suppose..."

"Tell me..." Kenshin began to speak softly after a few moments of stillness. "Were those encounters real? Did we really meet in those dreams?"

"I think so..." She replied slowly. "I recognized you as the man who took a picture of me years ago at Kobe..."

The mention of the photo rang a bell in Kenshin's head. "Oh yeah, I almost forgot." He took her photo out of his wallet and handed it to her. "It was this photo..."

"Ah... I see...."

"It has remained untouched until about a year ago, when I found the unprinted roll among my belongings. I remembered you and Kobe when I saw the photo...."

"It was devastating, wasn't it?" When Kaoru saw slight confusion in his eyes she quickly added, "I meant Kobe and the great earthquake..."

"Indeed it was..." Kenshin nodded as she returned the photo to him. "But..."

Kaoru waited for several seconds, but the words never came. "But what?"

"Nothing.." Kenshin sighed. "It is something I've been wanting to ask you since I laid my eyes on your photo for the first time."

"Well, I'm here now. So why don't you just ask?"

Kenshin was silent for a few moments. Then finally he turned his head until his eyes locked with Kaoru's. "Why did you smile?"

"Huh?" Kaoru was confused. It was a question she had never expected. "What did you mean?"

"You said it yourself; it was very devastating. The whole situation was a big mess. The dying tree, the withered sakura petal and the blood on your face... it was as if Death itself had come to that place, to claim the souls of all the living things in that place." Kenshin took a deep breath. "But you had smiled.... I saw grief and pain in your eyes, but I also saw hope in it. It was the one thing that amazes me still to this day, that you were always able to smile in such circumstances. If there is a reason behind that smile, I'd like to know it..."

Kaoru turned her head slightly, breaking the eye contact between them. There was a distant look in her eyes and she said nothing in return.

Kenshin interpreted it as her unwillingness to give any answer. He bowed his head. "Sorry... if you don't wanna..."

"Some people said it was to hide my sadness." Her clear and firm voice, yet tender as always, brought Kenshin to a halt. He lifted his head up, gazing at her solemn face. "Some said it was because I wanted to show the world that I was strong, that I didn't want to be seen as a weak girl. Hec, I am a strong girl! Another said that I was too proud to cry in front of the public. There were even rude comments that said that it was because I couldn't accept the bitter reality. But they were all wrong...."

Kaoru took a deep breath and her lips curved into a smile. "You asked me why..." She returned his gaze. "It is because I believe that there is still hope. It is onto that hope I cling; that no matter what you're going through and no matter how bad your circumstances are, things would eventually turn out as they're supposed to be for your own good. Without hope, you lose the battle even before you start it...."

"Naite kurasu mo issho, waratte kurasu mo issho.... My mother used to say it to me." There was a trace of sadness in her eyes as the memories of her mother came flooding her mind. "It is the same life whether we spend it crying or laughing. Whether we spend it grumbling or smiling. So why don't we all smile? There are so many blessings in this life that people often take things for granted. Instead of be grateful for what they do have, they complain about what they don't have...."

"I have cried. I have grieved. I have felt real pain. There were times when I felt I couldn't go on anymore. I'm just a human after all. But I refused to let my circumstances take control of me and break me down. Instead, I took control of it. So I counted my blessings and found that there was always enough reason for me to smile. Why, even Life itself is enough reason for us to face the day with a smile...."

The stable was filled with silence once again when Kaoru finished talking. Neither of them said a word, nor move a muscle. They kept gazing at each other's eyes intently, violet met sapphire, while thousand things raged in their own minds.

It's not just her outer beauty and her sad smile. But it was because of who she is.... Kenshin finally understood. This is the real Kaoru. This is the real person behind the smile that drew the lenses of my camera to her that fateful day 10 years ago. Her wonderful personality is one of the things that have captured the world's attention through a single photo. Her determination is what has inspired many other people. This is the woman to whom I have fallen in love with....

I only met him once a long time ago, yet I have never forgotten his face. And when I saw him again in my dreams, I knew that he was the one who would be my salvation. He cares about forgotten people like us when others would just turn their head away.... His heart goes out to our kind. And I have these butterflies in my stomach whenever I see him. Ah, what feelings are these, my heart? Could it be, that I've fallen in love with a man I hardly know, but trust with all my heart?

There was no need for words to communicate their mutual feelings; it was just so obvious in their eyes. Unconsciously Kenshin began to bend his head toward her, slowly closing the distance between them. And Kaoru made no move at all....

Halfway he stopped, searching her eyes for negative response, as if asking for permission. She didn't mind at all.

And when his lips were only millimeters away from hers...

"KAORU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

- End of Chapter 7: The Reason -

Author's Note:

* I know, I know.... For the nth time I apologize for the oh-so-very late update. Some excuses? Let's just say that circumstances don't really permit me to sit behind my PC and write fics whenever I want it...

* jaded sky: nice suggestion about a beta reader. So hereby, would you want to be my beta reader? ;-)

* Inuki, flaming-amber: there she is, alive and well... :-)

* Aizel: can't tell ya.... You're gonna have to stick with me to the end. *evil grin*

* and to all people who thought I'm evil/cruel for leaving a cliffhanger at the previous chapter, well, I'm enjoying being an evil writer, cause you've got another cliffhanger... :-P

* saw the passage with (#) at the beginning of this chapter? It is slightly adapted from the song 'De Speeltuin' (= The Playground) from Marco Borsato. This song is one the themes of War Child Netherlands. Website of War Child: www.warchild.org. The song's in Dutch anyway, so I won't bother to put the original lyric... :-)

* special thanks to Mir-san for providing kotowaza (Japanese proverbs) in her site and for letting me use it. You gotta check it out (http://tfme.net/tfme). It's a great fanfic archive. Right, Mir? ;-)

* many, many thanks, hugs and kisses to all the readers, especially the reviewers. You guys brighten my day... really.... I hope you liked this chapter. Until we meet again!