5
Everyone's favorite part of the day… lunch! This especially goes for Matt because he gets to see Sam walk by every day. He watches her with the admiration and drool that any normal man watches a runway model. That's what Matt always envisioned Sam as. The most miraculous runway model in the world carrying a school lunch on a tray.
Matt had to watch Sam alone this time, though. Henry had still not made it to school yet. So, at about ten minutes into the lunch period, Matt looked up and saw Sam right on time. She was walking gracefully down the cafeteria aisle to sit with her pimp boyfriend, Sparky.
Suddenly, without warning, except for Matt because he has a buzzing in his head that warns him when anything bad is going to happen, Sam placed her foot down on a green liquid and she slipped. Sam fell towards the ground and her lunch tray flew forward. Matt was already on his feet, he was the only one with warning, mind you, and he caught Sam in a sexy, suave move that every girl dreams of. Matt gave a sexy smile as he lifted Sam up when there was a loud SMACK that silenced the whole cafeteria. The tray that had flown out of Sam's hands had hit Sparky's back and gotten food all over him. Matt was the only one who didn't pay attention because he was still concentrating on Sam.
Sam had noticed what had happened and decided to use this to make Sparky jealous. When Sparky turned around to see what the hell had just happened he saw his sluttly girlfriend in the hands on the geekiest person in school.
Sparky, as well as the rest of the students in the cafeteria because of the abrupt silence, heard Sam say to Matt, "Nice catch. What other hidden skills do you have."
Sparky leaped to his feat and yelled, "Hallark!!!!" Matt let out a yelp and he was chased from the cafeteria.
Matt ran around a corner in the hallway to try to ditch Sparky. Matt pretended it worked by standing in front of a locker and staring at it. Suddenly the buzzing in Matt's head started to flair again. This buzzing eventually became known as his know-it-all-spider-wit. It is called this because Matt was able to pick up a spitball coming his way, a paper airplane flying through the air, and bumblebee buzzing around and Matt didn't turn to look once. It's quite an amazing power, really. Oh, and there was one more thing Matt was able to sense. There was a fist headed straight for him.
Matt swiftly moved to the side as Sparky's fist slammed against a locker.
"Why you have to be messin' with my girl, you freak!"
A small crowd started to gather and Sam made her way though and yelled, "Sparky, it was just an accident. Hallark didn't mean to be hitting on me."
"Makin' moves on my girl? You sonuva…"
Matt dodged left and right while a series of pitiful punches were thrown at him. One of Sparky's ignorant friends then tried to catch Matt from behind. Matt's know-it-all-spider-wit warned him of this though. A quick back flip sent Matt to safety.
"Help him, Henry," Sam told Matt's only pal. Henry had just made it to school in time to see his best friend pull off the amazing back flip
"Which one," Henry said quite stunned at Matt's skill.
"It's no use," said the ignorant punk who had just tried to jump the school geek from behind. Sparky just pushed his dim-witted buddy away and went after Matt once more.
Matt Hallark didn't feel like fighting anymore. So he decided to put Sparky out. Matt quickly shot out his hand like a police officer would to stop a car. Matt's hand connected with Sparky's chest and sent the bully soaring backwards through the intrigued crowd.
Matt looked around at all the stunned faces.
"Jeez, Hallark, you really are a freak," said one stunned onlooker. Matt didn't know why the boy had said it. Sparky just got the crap beaten out of him by a nerd. Shouldn't Matt be BMC?
Matt couldn't take being made fun of after beating up the biggest bully in the school, so Matt took off. He ran out of the school, down the street, and he didn't stop until he found an alley that he thought looked like a decent place to stop.
Once he stopped in this alley, he quickly looked around to make sure no one was looking. He wanted to make sure no one was looking because he was about to try something that would look really crazy if it didn't work. As a matter of fact, if somebody saw him attempt what he was about to attempt, then Matt would probably carted off to an insane asylum.
Anyway, since Matt's know-it-all-spider-wit was telling him to climb the was, he put his hands against the wall and… tried to climb it. To Matt's astonishment, as you can imagine, it worked. Matt was climbing the building and loving it. He crawled all over it. Actually, he just crawled straight up it. He didn't know how to crawl all over yet.
When Matt got to the top of the building he took a deep breath of the cool, New York air. Cool, polluted, New York air is more like it. Matt coughed for a minute and then said to himself, "Look at all these buildings. I bet I could jump across them with no trouble at all."
Well, Matt didn't actually say that out loud, but he was thinking that! So Matt did exactly what he thought about doing. He started jumping from building to building.
It was an exhilarating experience. This was an experience unlike any anything else Matt had ever felt before, and he loved every second of it. He inhaled a deep breath as he made another leap and let out a shout of ecstasy. Perhaps the shout came too soon because it was cut off by a yelp of pain when Matt got cocky and smashed into a wall when he fell a little short of the next building.
Matt realized there were some problems that were going to have to be worked out. First he had to get home. Who knew how worried his aunt and uncle were. They could have been in hysterics for al Matt knew.
When Matt did get home he was shocked to find that his aunt and uncle had gone to bed and all they left was a note on the kitchen table. It read: "Thanks for not helping me paint the kitchen you useless, little brat. Since you're so selfish you can find your own damn dinner."
Matt looked around and noticed the new color of the kitchen. It's really not important what color the kitchen had become. This is good because there probably isn't a name for the color. Matt guessed that his Uncle Fred just mixed a bunch of paint until he had invented a new color. It certainly was unique.
Since he wasn't very hungry, Matt skipped dinner and decided to take out the trash. The trash didn't really have to go out. The bag was actually only half full. Matt just didn't think a night was complete without taking out the trash, so he did.
When Matt walked out his back door he heard yelling over in his neighbors' house. It was Sam's father yelling at the love of Matt's life. Matt couldn't take it and want to just run over and beat the hell out of Sam's father. He just decided to stand in his back yard and eavesdrop instead.
"You're always sleeping around you stupid slut!" Matt heard while listening very carefully to his loud neighbors. "Why don't you try to do something with your life instead of fucking a new guy every week."
"I've been with Sparky for five weeks!" Sam screamed.
"Yeah, there's an all time high for you! I'm sure you'll get bored screwing him pretty soon!"
Samantha charged out her back door and slammed it behind her. When Matt saw her he turned and started putting the trash bag into the garbage can.
"Were you listening to that?" Sam inquired.
"No! Of course not… Well I heard a couple things but I was just taking out the trash… honest!" Matt smile at her.
"It's okay. I believe you."
"You do?"
"Yeah." It was the redhead's turn to give a smile.
"Ummm… Sorry about the thing with Sparky today… I hope I didn't hurt him," Matt lied.
"You're such a liar."
"Okay, I hope he's hospitalized for life. So what?"
"I was just saying that you were lying. I never said it was bad thing. So where are you headed after high school?" Sam asked.
"I'm going to the city. Where the hell else would I go?" Matt said, wondering why the girl he loved so dearly would ask such a stupid question.
"Well, some people go out of state, you know? People like to open up their options for colleges."
"Oh… right… sorry. Well, I plan on becoming a photographer to work my way through college."
"Really? Why a photographer?"
"What's with all the questions? Maybe I just like cameras. What do you want to do after high school?"
"Well, it's a little embarrassing…"
"What's more embarrassing than wanting to be a photographer?"
"Right. In that case I want to be an actress. Perhaps someday I'll be in a high-grossing porn-flick." Sam smiled at the thought of her future career.
"That's perfect!"
"It is?"
"Yeah!" Matt was getting excited now. This was his first real conversation with Sam. He was really enjoying himself. "You were fantastic in all the school plays."
"Yeah, but those weren't exactly porn-flicks, now were they," Sam laughed.
"No, but you always made them seem like porn-flicks." Matt really had no idea what he was saying anymore. "I mean, sometimes you can just see what's coming for people."
"What do you see coming for you?" Sam asked another question.
"How the hell should I know? But I know what you're going to do?"
"What am I going to do?"
"You're gong to light up Broadway with the most spectacular flashing in the world. Perhaps you'll get a job at a place like the Moulin Rouge later down the road?"
"You really think so?"
Because of Matt's inept ability to do any productive thinking, he decided to "shoot the bull," as they say. "Yeah, of course."
"You know, you're taller than you look." Sam stated out of the blue.
"What the hell does that have to do with…"
Just then there was a loud honking sound. Sparky was yelling from his brand new car from the street, "Hey Sam, come check out my new birthday present."
"I have to go. Nice talking to you." Sam smiled and waved.
As Matt watched Sparky drive off with the lovely redhead, he was given the impression that the car gets the girl. This is not necessarily true, but it's good to see the connection between the two. Matt just saw the guy with the car end up being the guy with the girl. So the next day Matt looked through the paper to see what cars were selling for. The cheapest car was $2750. That was way too much money for Matt. Coincidentally, there was an ad to win $3000 in a wrestling match. All Matt had to do was create a funky looking costume and stay in some stupid wrestling ring for three minutes.
Matt went to work on the costume immediately. He sewed up a nifty looking red and blue outfit fairly quickly but felt that something was missing.
"Webs! I need web to be like a real spider! But where the hell would I get web. I suppose I could always use enhanced silly string. I just have to make stronger silly string! It'll be perfect!"
So Matt went to work on his next brilliant idea and started working on his Super Silly String! He even created a device to shoot out this Super Silly Sting. With this he could shoot silly string onto buildings and swing from it. It was absolutely brilliant! Although Matt would have to work on his aim, first.
The devise that shot the silly string was quite ingenious. Matt just had to load up a bracelet full of Super Silly String and press his middle finger to a button on his palm. The button was connected to the metal bracelet, which would release the Super Silly String once the button was pressed. Matt was happy with his accomplishment.
Now Matt worked on his aim! He whipped his middle finger down on the button and silly string shot out hitting a picture frame up against a wall nowhere near where Matt was aiming. Matt tried again without achieving much. For three hours straight all Matt really managed to do was hit a bunch of random possessions and break half of them. So Matt was going to give up after one more try. He aimed for a hard cola bottle (now empty) and by some miracle managed to hit it. Matt pulled back on the Supper Silly String and caught the bottle. This was amazing!
Matt tried it again. This time the silly string attached to a lamp. Matt was overcome with joy. He gave a great yank on the line and the lamp flew at his head. Thanks to his know-it-all-spider-wit, Matt dodged the red lamp just in time. Unfortunately, it made a rather loud noise, which made his aunt somewhat suspicious.
"What are you doing in there?" Matt heard his Aunt June ask from the other side of the bedroom door.
"I'm exercising. I'm not dressed!"
"You're acting so strangely. Don't think I don't know what you're up to!" Aunt June scolded.
"Uhhhh… okay… Bye."
After the silent wait to make sure his aunt was gone, Matt started to clean up his now silly string covered room.