See Chapter 1 for disclaimer. Thanks for the reviews again, they've
inspired me. Sorry about the gap between updates, I still have no heating.
Please keep reviewing.
Chapter 5
My world, like my parent's, used to be black and white. You were either right or wrong; there was no room for ambiguity. You'd think living in a world with such clear rules would be easy, but its not. Make one mistake and you're condemned and once you've been condemned, redemption is difficult, if not impossible.
I've watched many members of my family try to destroy people because they didn't live up to their standards of morality. I've even done it myself, at times, just because we had to the power to do it, we had no real justification. My actions of the last few weeks might seem wrong or even evil, but at least I'm honest about the morality of my actions, it's better than the hypocritical morality of my parents.
Kevin is gone, back in Buffalo. I think my parents know that he did something wrong, as Captain Michaels, spoke to them, but they haven't said anything to me. All Mom said was that she no longer considered him suitable for me. Even though I agree with her, it was my decision to make; I'm twenty, not two. If nothing else, my mother's behaviour has strengthened my resolve. I was starting to regret my plan a little, but this has convinced me that I have no choice.
The stress is definitely getting to her, I could hear her screeching at him this morning, demanding that he quit therapy, but Dad shocked me, he actually stood up to her! This is probablary only a temporary phase, but this will make her even more suspicious. I need to move fast though, but what can I do to disorientate her?
Alcohol, maybe if I get her drunk, I could embarrass her, make her look like a fool. Yes, that would help, but how? If I spike her drink she might catch me, damn it, how do I do this? Wait, she normally has a few drinks before dinner on a Friday; I just have to increase the strength of the drink. Hey, Dad normally goes to see that friend of his on a Friday, if I could convince Mom that Dad's lied to her about his trip, she would rush out to try and find him and cause a scene. If I get her drunk enough, she's so paranoid at the moment, she wouldn't stop to think.
She always has two vodkas and orange juice, while dinner is cooking, I poured a third of a new bottle into a thermos and topped the bottle up with water and hid the flask in my shoulder bag.
Mom had just settled herself on the sofa, when the twins started crying, I grabbed the flask and topped her drink up, stirring it with my finger. She was interrupted so many times, that by the time she'd finished her third drink, I'd used three quarters of the flask. By the time we finished dinner; she had drunk another two glasses and seemed unfocused. Making sure that she could hear me, I sat next to Ruthie on the couch.
"Dad's late tonight." I said, striving for a causal tone. "Don't be stupid, he's at his friend's house, it's a two hour drive away, it'll be hours before he's home". Ruthie snapped, her eyes not leaving the television screen. "Oh, I thought I heard him cancel, he had to meet Lou or something". "You must have heard wrong". "Yeah, maybe". Lou had left to visit his brother in Texas, yesterday; he wasn't due back for a week. I could almost hear my mother's brain working this out.
"Lucy I have to go out, look after Ruthie" She spoke like her mouth was stuck together with glue. I nodded as she marched towards the hall.
"SIMON." My brother ran down the stairs, scared of another punishment, he had been put on restriction after Mom found some college prospectuses under his bed.
"You will drive me to town, as you are still on restriction, you will not leave the car or speak to anyone, if you do, you'll think Mary got off lightly." She had to lean on the banister to stand up straight. Simon tried to speak but she silenced him. "You will only speak when I tell you to, get in the car."
I can't save Simon, Ruthie and the twins; they can only save themselves, but can make it easier for them, by weakening her and by showing them that she cannot run my life. It's too late now anyway, I can't stop or go back, I can only move forward.
Chapter 5
My world, like my parent's, used to be black and white. You were either right or wrong; there was no room for ambiguity. You'd think living in a world with such clear rules would be easy, but its not. Make one mistake and you're condemned and once you've been condemned, redemption is difficult, if not impossible.
I've watched many members of my family try to destroy people because they didn't live up to their standards of morality. I've even done it myself, at times, just because we had to the power to do it, we had no real justification. My actions of the last few weeks might seem wrong or even evil, but at least I'm honest about the morality of my actions, it's better than the hypocritical morality of my parents.
Kevin is gone, back in Buffalo. I think my parents know that he did something wrong, as Captain Michaels, spoke to them, but they haven't said anything to me. All Mom said was that she no longer considered him suitable for me. Even though I agree with her, it was my decision to make; I'm twenty, not two. If nothing else, my mother's behaviour has strengthened my resolve. I was starting to regret my plan a little, but this has convinced me that I have no choice.
The stress is definitely getting to her, I could hear her screeching at him this morning, demanding that he quit therapy, but Dad shocked me, he actually stood up to her! This is probablary only a temporary phase, but this will make her even more suspicious. I need to move fast though, but what can I do to disorientate her?
Alcohol, maybe if I get her drunk, I could embarrass her, make her look like a fool. Yes, that would help, but how? If I spike her drink she might catch me, damn it, how do I do this? Wait, she normally has a few drinks before dinner on a Friday; I just have to increase the strength of the drink. Hey, Dad normally goes to see that friend of his on a Friday, if I could convince Mom that Dad's lied to her about his trip, she would rush out to try and find him and cause a scene. If I get her drunk enough, she's so paranoid at the moment, she wouldn't stop to think.
She always has two vodkas and orange juice, while dinner is cooking, I poured a third of a new bottle into a thermos and topped the bottle up with water and hid the flask in my shoulder bag.
Mom had just settled herself on the sofa, when the twins started crying, I grabbed the flask and topped her drink up, stirring it with my finger. She was interrupted so many times, that by the time she'd finished her third drink, I'd used three quarters of the flask. By the time we finished dinner; she had drunk another two glasses and seemed unfocused. Making sure that she could hear me, I sat next to Ruthie on the couch.
"Dad's late tonight." I said, striving for a causal tone. "Don't be stupid, he's at his friend's house, it's a two hour drive away, it'll be hours before he's home". Ruthie snapped, her eyes not leaving the television screen. "Oh, I thought I heard him cancel, he had to meet Lou or something". "You must have heard wrong". "Yeah, maybe". Lou had left to visit his brother in Texas, yesterday; he wasn't due back for a week. I could almost hear my mother's brain working this out.
"Lucy I have to go out, look after Ruthie" She spoke like her mouth was stuck together with glue. I nodded as she marched towards the hall.
"SIMON." My brother ran down the stairs, scared of another punishment, he had been put on restriction after Mom found some college prospectuses under his bed.
"You will drive me to town, as you are still on restriction, you will not leave the car or speak to anyone, if you do, you'll think Mary got off lightly." She had to lean on the banister to stand up straight. Simon tried to speak but she silenced him. "You will only speak when I tell you to, get in the car."
I can't save Simon, Ruthie and the twins; they can only save themselves, but can make it easier for them, by weakening her and by showing them that she cannot run my life. It's too late now anyway, I can't stop or go back, I can only move forward.