Sunday, October 6, 1985
I didn't get up early today. The Avengers only plays on Saturday here. In fact, it is almost noon.
We don't go to church at our house. I've often wondered why. Mom seems to be the type who
would go to church. Of course, Dad doesn't, and he's the boss of the family even though he's
never around. Dad said something about God once, but I'm pretty sure he was cursing. Yeah, I'm
positive . . .
Last night was a real drag for me. After a very tense and quiet dinner, I went to my room and did
my homework. There goes the geek thing again. Most kids my age would wait until late Sunday
evening to do their homework, but I only feel rushed when I do that. The homework took forever
so by the time it was done, I just went to bed.
Zak got up before me today. I think his cell phones started going off or something. Dad says he
will help him with his project if he has time. Isn't that nice? He won't come and do a simple
Career Day speech, but he'll help my brother with his stupid science fair entry. Is there no justice
in this world? I guess I know who the favorite child is. But why should I care? I don't like him
anyway. I guess it's just natural for a girl to long for the love of a father figure, especially during
those trying adolescent years. Uh, now where did THAT come from. I think Zak must've said
something like that once.
I wonder how I'm going to convince Mom that I can't ever leave home again or I will literally
DIE of embarrassment from the Ritz incident. OK, so maybe, I won't DIE from it, but I will
certainly suffer as a consequence. Maybe I'll use the old would-you-believe trick, and she'll fall
for it! Oh, my. I really need to STOP HANGING AROUND DAD! I seriously don't think she'd
buy it though. I mean, she doesn't when Dad tries to pull it on her. But then, she's heard it from
him so many times . . .
Oh, yeah. I forgot to mention. Uncle Hymie is coming to visit on Tuesday. All right! He is so
much fun, even though he acts kinda weird (but then, who do I know that doesn't) If you ask him
if he wants to hang out, he replies something strange like, "Hang out of what?" I guess he's just a
square, but that's ok. He's really fun. He'll do anything you want. Isn't he cool? Like once Mom
was really pissed that I didn't clean my room and Uncle Hymie was there. So I jokingly asked him
to clean it . . . and he did. Boy was Mom ever shocked. My room was cleaner that day then when
we moved in! Of course, it didn't last long, but that's another matter. I wonder why Uncle Hymie
is so obedient. Does he have this humongous guilt complex or something? Maybe Dad saved his
life once. Ha! Fat chance! Whatever the reason, he sure is nice. I hope he brings us presents again.
Last time, he brought us this computer! I think Dad actually paid for it though. Oh, well. The
point is that whenever my uncle comes, we get cool stuff!
I remember when Chief used to visit us before he died in 1982. He was really sweet and nice to
Zak and me, almost like a grandfather. In fact, he was the closest thing we ever had to a Grandpa
because Mom and Dad's fathers were both dead before we were born. Sure, he was bald and had
a tendency to get these really bad headaches, but he was still a good guy. Of course, his visits
were even rarer than Dad's; I think he only came to our apartment a half a dozen times that I
could mention. Mom says that when we were really little, he used to come by a lot more, but I
don't remember that. Dad and him were always talking about the state of the world and how to
fix it. Most of the time they would agree, but when they didn't, Chief would get a really bad
headache and have to go. I guess he was a bad loser or something. Whatever. I wonder what
really happened to him? Was he really murdered in cold blood like the tabloids said? Well, ok, he
wasn't in the tabloids, but you get the picture. Actually Zak overheard Mom and Dad talking
about it the day after he died. If I can get him over to the computer, I'll have him repeat what he
recalls about their conversation. Ah, here he is. Dad had just come home for his semi-annual visit,
looking sad and depressed.
Mom: Something happened, didn't it?
Dad: What makes you think that, 99?
Mom: You look . . . different, changed somehow. What's wrong?
Dad: Nothing, 9-
Mom: Max, tell me the truth.
Dad: The truth?
Mom: Yes.
Dad: Chief is dead.
Mom *gasps*: Oh, no!
Dad: One of our men found his body in the gutter about 300 miles away. It appears he'd had a
heart attack.
Mom: In a gutter? What was he doing so far away from Washington?
Dad: Nobody knows. Listen, 99, I don't think we should talk about it now. The chil-
And that's when he noticed Zak was in the room, so they stopped talking. I think that was the
first time we heard Dad call Mom 99. What does it mean? Is she really nameless? Or is there
something sinister about our parents that we don't know about? Well, I'm determined to find out,
no matter the cost.
Well, I need to eat breakfast. Talk to you later.
Maxi Smart
I didn't get up early today. The Avengers only plays on Saturday here. In fact, it is almost noon.
We don't go to church at our house. I've often wondered why. Mom seems to be the type who
would go to church. Of course, Dad doesn't, and he's the boss of the family even though he's
never around. Dad said something about God once, but I'm pretty sure he was cursing. Yeah, I'm
positive . . .
Last night was a real drag for me. After a very tense and quiet dinner, I went to my room and did
my homework. There goes the geek thing again. Most kids my age would wait until late Sunday
evening to do their homework, but I only feel rushed when I do that. The homework took forever
so by the time it was done, I just went to bed.
Zak got up before me today. I think his cell phones started going off or something. Dad says he
will help him with his project if he has time. Isn't that nice? He won't come and do a simple
Career Day speech, but he'll help my brother with his stupid science fair entry. Is there no justice
in this world? I guess I know who the favorite child is. But why should I care? I don't like him
anyway. I guess it's just natural for a girl to long for the love of a father figure, especially during
those trying adolescent years. Uh, now where did THAT come from. I think Zak must've said
something like that once.
I wonder how I'm going to convince Mom that I can't ever leave home again or I will literally
DIE of embarrassment from the Ritz incident. OK, so maybe, I won't DIE from it, but I will
certainly suffer as a consequence. Maybe I'll use the old would-you-believe trick, and she'll fall
for it! Oh, my. I really need to STOP HANGING AROUND DAD! I seriously don't think she'd
buy it though. I mean, she doesn't when Dad tries to pull it on her. But then, she's heard it from
him so many times . . .
Oh, yeah. I forgot to mention. Uncle Hymie is coming to visit on Tuesday. All right! He is so
much fun, even though he acts kinda weird (but then, who do I know that doesn't) If you ask him
if he wants to hang out, he replies something strange like, "Hang out of what?" I guess he's just a
square, but that's ok. He's really fun. He'll do anything you want. Isn't he cool? Like once Mom
was really pissed that I didn't clean my room and Uncle Hymie was there. So I jokingly asked him
to clean it . . . and he did. Boy was Mom ever shocked. My room was cleaner that day then when
we moved in! Of course, it didn't last long, but that's another matter. I wonder why Uncle Hymie
is so obedient. Does he have this humongous guilt complex or something? Maybe Dad saved his
life once. Ha! Fat chance! Whatever the reason, he sure is nice. I hope he brings us presents again.
Last time, he brought us this computer! I think Dad actually paid for it though. Oh, well. The
point is that whenever my uncle comes, we get cool stuff!
I remember when Chief used to visit us before he died in 1982. He was really sweet and nice to
Zak and me, almost like a grandfather. In fact, he was the closest thing we ever had to a Grandpa
because Mom and Dad's fathers were both dead before we were born. Sure, he was bald and had
a tendency to get these really bad headaches, but he was still a good guy. Of course, his visits
were even rarer than Dad's; I think he only came to our apartment a half a dozen times that I
could mention. Mom says that when we were really little, he used to come by a lot more, but I
don't remember that. Dad and him were always talking about the state of the world and how to
fix it. Most of the time they would agree, but when they didn't, Chief would get a really bad
headache and have to go. I guess he was a bad loser or something. Whatever. I wonder what
really happened to him? Was he really murdered in cold blood like the tabloids said? Well, ok, he
wasn't in the tabloids, but you get the picture. Actually Zak overheard Mom and Dad talking
about it the day after he died. If I can get him over to the computer, I'll have him repeat what he
recalls about their conversation. Ah, here he is. Dad had just come home for his semi-annual visit,
looking sad and depressed.
Mom: Something happened, didn't it?
Dad: What makes you think that, 99?
Mom: You look . . . different, changed somehow. What's wrong?
Dad: Nothing, 9-
Mom: Max, tell me the truth.
Dad: The truth?
Mom: Yes.
Dad: Chief is dead.
Mom *gasps*: Oh, no!
Dad: One of our men found his body in the gutter about 300 miles away. It appears he'd had a
heart attack.
Mom: In a gutter? What was he doing so far away from Washington?
Dad: Nobody knows. Listen, 99, I don't think we should talk about it now. The chil-
And that's when he noticed Zak was in the room, so they stopped talking. I think that was the
first time we heard Dad call Mom 99. What does it mean? Is she really nameless? Or is there
something sinister about our parents that we don't know about? Well, I'm determined to find out,
no matter the cost.
Well, I need to eat breakfast. Talk to you later.
Maxi Smart