Wednesday, October 16, 1985 Before School
Gosh, has it been that long since I wrote in this thing? Well, needless to say, a lot has happened
since then. For one thing, I have a STALKER. That's right. This weird dude in a trenchcoat and
dark glasses keeps following me to school everyday. Creepy. I told Mom about it and she said I
had been watching too many spy shows. What? No amount of television could ever dream up this
dude, he is too, too weird. And Zak just thinks he's cool and is contemplating whether he is an
FBI or CIA agent or maybe a foreign spy. Dweeb. I am really scared. I know it's Halloween, and
most people love to be frightened at this time of year, but I am not one of them. I've already told
you my opinion of real life spies. I think I'm going to call Freda to walk with me and Zak to
school.
Maxi
After School
Freda agreed to walk with us to school. I was so relieved, but I didn't tell Mom just in case she
had an aversion to Germans as well. I just smiled sweetly and told her we were leaving. Mom
hugged each of us and we left. At the corner of our street and the next, Freda met us. Let me tell
you a little bit about her. Freda is very tall with cropped golden-brown hair and bright blue eyes.
She always wears these army-patterned camouflage clothes like Jo on the Facts of Life and big
brown combat boots. In other words, she is a major tomboy. She wrestles and plays football with
the boys after school, and they just consider her one of the guys. Her muscles are amazing. I think
she must work out. At any rate, she'd be better at protecting me than stupid Zak, even with his
extensive karate training. Zak is lanky and thin and very weak. So am I. You can see why a girl
like Freda would come in handy if things ever got rough with my stalker.
Our trip was uneventful until we reached the schoolyard. Then I saw him. I nearly jumped out of
my skin. He had been right behind us all along, dodging between trees and shadows, so I hadn't
noticed him until now. This is what happened next:
Freda: Who is zat man?
Me: I don't know. He's been following me to and from school for a week now.
Zak: He's a neo-Nazi, just waiting to wreak havoc on-
Me: Zak! Freda is GERMAN. You don't accuse someone of being a Nazi in front of a German!
Zak: Why not? (He can be so insensitive at times)
Freda: Zat's alright, Shmart, just don't let it happen again. Now I zink we should attack zis veird
person and put him out of his misery.
Zak: But that could threaten the basis of international security!
Me: Shut up, you dork.
Zak: Sh, he'll hear!
Me: And he won't know you're a dork just by looking at you?
Freda: Shmarts, I have a plan. I zink ve should create our own organization to protect ourselves
from bullies and shtalkers and such.
Me: Who would be in it?
Freda: Just you, me, and Zak for now, but ve could add people later. Then, ve could set up signals
to send each other ven ve zink ve are in danger.
Zak: Cool! Just like on tv!
Me: What would we call ourselves?
Freda: The Fourth Reich?
Zak flashed me a Look.
Freda laughed: I vas just joking.
I flashed Zak a Look.
Zak: How about CTRL?
Me: The ticker symbol?
Zak: Maxi, there is no ticker symbol with those letters.
Me: What?
Freda: Vat are you talking about, Shmart?
Me: Our mom and dad are always discussing the stock market and the ticker symbols CTRL and
KAOS.
Freda: How shtrange. But vat a brilliant idea! Ve could be CTRL and venever we zink ve are in
danger, ve could send the message: KAOS attack.
Zak: But CTRL is an unpronounceable jumble of letters!
Me: No, dummy. It's the abbreviation of the Control key on a standard computer keyboard. (Hm
I wonder why I didn't think of that before.)
Zak: CONTROL! I like it.
Freda: Zen zat's vat ve vill be. Let's shake on it. (And we did)
By then, the goofy spy had disappeared. Probably to inform his superiors that we joined with the
enemy or something stupid like that.
So that's what happened today. We met again at lunch to discuss details. We would have
meetings in municipal park whenever we felt it necessary. If we wanted to call a meeting, we
would whisper the codeword "Bogus" as we passed each of the other two members in the hall
between classes. This is so cool! It almost makes me forget the real reason we had to do this in
the first place: the nameless stalker.
Well, it's time for homework again. (Groan)
Maxine of CONTROL
A/N: All of the information about Freda is gleaned from information I've read on "Get Smart
'95." I don't know what Freda's real name is in the show, so I am calling her Freda. That could
be her correct name, or just a nickname of "Siegfried." That cruise ship doctor bit was also stolen
from "GS 95." Am I unoriginal or what? Lol
Gosh, has it been that long since I wrote in this thing? Well, needless to say, a lot has happened
since then. For one thing, I have a STALKER. That's right. This weird dude in a trenchcoat and
dark glasses keeps following me to school everyday. Creepy. I told Mom about it and she said I
had been watching too many spy shows. What? No amount of television could ever dream up this
dude, he is too, too weird. And Zak just thinks he's cool and is contemplating whether he is an
FBI or CIA agent or maybe a foreign spy. Dweeb. I am really scared. I know it's Halloween, and
most people love to be frightened at this time of year, but I am not one of them. I've already told
you my opinion of real life spies. I think I'm going to call Freda to walk with me and Zak to
school.
Maxi
After School
Freda agreed to walk with us to school. I was so relieved, but I didn't tell Mom just in case she
had an aversion to Germans as well. I just smiled sweetly and told her we were leaving. Mom
hugged each of us and we left. At the corner of our street and the next, Freda met us. Let me tell
you a little bit about her. Freda is very tall with cropped golden-brown hair and bright blue eyes.
She always wears these army-patterned camouflage clothes like Jo on the Facts of Life and big
brown combat boots. In other words, she is a major tomboy. She wrestles and plays football with
the boys after school, and they just consider her one of the guys. Her muscles are amazing. I think
she must work out. At any rate, she'd be better at protecting me than stupid Zak, even with his
extensive karate training. Zak is lanky and thin and very weak. So am I. You can see why a girl
like Freda would come in handy if things ever got rough with my stalker.
Our trip was uneventful until we reached the schoolyard. Then I saw him. I nearly jumped out of
my skin. He had been right behind us all along, dodging between trees and shadows, so I hadn't
noticed him until now. This is what happened next:
Freda: Who is zat man?
Me: I don't know. He's been following me to and from school for a week now.
Zak: He's a neo-Nazi, just waiting to wreak havoc on-
Me: Zak! Freda is GERMAN. You don't accuse someone of being a Nazi in front of a German!
Zak: Why not? (He can be so insensitive at times)
Freda: Zat's alright, Shmart, just don't let it happen again. Now I zink we should attack zis veird
person and put him out of his misery.
Zak: But that could threaten the basis of international security!
Me: Shut up, you dork.
Zak: Sh, he'll hear!
Me: And he won't know you're a dork just by looking at you?
Freda: Shmarts, I have a plan. I zink ve should create our own organization to protect ourselves
from bullies and shtalkers and such.
Me: Who would be in it?
Freda: Just you, me, and Zak for now, but ve could add people later. Then, ve could set up signals
to send each other ven ve zink ve are in danger.
Zak: Cool! Just like on tv!
Me: What would we call ourselves?
Freda: The Fourth Reich?
Zak flashed me a Look.
Freda laughed: I vas just joking.
I flashed Zak a Look.
Zak: How about CTRL?
Me: The ticker symbol?
Zak: Maxi, there is no ticker symbol with those letters.
Me: What?
Freda: Vat are you talking about, Shmart?
Me: Our mom and dad are always discussing the stock market and the ticker symbols CTRL and
KAOS.
Freda: How shtrange. But vat a brilliant idea! Ve could be CTRL and venever we zink ve are in
danger, ve could send the message: KAOS attack.
Zak: But CTRL is an unpronounceable jumble of letters!
Me: No, dummy. It's the abbreviation of the Control key on a standard computer keyboard. (Hm
I wonder why I didn't think of that before.)
Zak: CONTROL! I like it.
Freda: Zen zat's vat ve vill be. Let's shake on it. (And we did)
By then, the goofy spy had disappeared. Probably to inform his superiors that we joined with the
enemy or something stupid like that.
So that's what happened today. We met again at lunch to discuss details. We would have
meetings in municipal park whenever we felt it necessary. If we wanted to call a meeting, we
would whisper the codeword "Bogus" as we passed each of the other two members in the hall
between classes. This is so cool! It almost makes me forget the real reason we had to do this in
the first place: the nameless stalker.
Well, it's time for homework again. (Groan)
Maxine of CONTROL
A/N: All of the information about Freda is gleaned from information I've read on "Get Smart
'95." I don't know what Freda's real name is in the show, so I am calling her Freda. That could
be her correct name, or just a nickname of "Siegfried." That cruise ship doctor bit was also stolen
from "GS 95." Am I unoriginal or what? Lol