~ Evil Baby Monster! ~
"Babysitting?? Who said anything about babysitting??" I screamed at Kez and then Kez said "Now, now, it's only just for a little while, Pompoms is visiting from a friend's house and she's sweet and fun and easy to take care of!" and I said "Yeah that's what you said about Fiji the mutant kadoatie and he yelled his head off day and night and ate all the bamboo from our common room and he wouldn't shut up until I stuffed your Scratchcard Kiosk Wocky Plushie down his throat" and then Kez got this look on her face like I just ripped her spleen out and stepped on it and called it all sorts of nasty names like tofu and broccoli brussel sprout casserole and she started screaming at me "You had to remind me of that, didn't you?! You know how much I love him!!" and I go, "Well if he loved you don't you think he'd bake you a casserole or give you an Icetravaganza Scratchcard or something for your birthday? Huh? Huh?? HUH???" and she looked like she was gonna pop a gasket so I got a wrench and said "Here, lemme fix your gasket" but then all these big ol' watery tears like, exploded from her eyes and got my fur all soaked and I go, "EWWW! KEZ JUICE!" but she runs off all crying and hollering something about stupid inconsiderate cloud poogles and juice and stomping on chocolate donuts and "The Faerie Queen must hate me!!" and I dunno what the hay bales she was doodering on about but I guess she musta gone crazy or something. Well then I feel this tug at my leg and I instantly kick my foot out against it in case it was Fiji back from the trash compactor I stuffed him in (it was broken anyway so he didn't get squooshed, I'm not _that_ mean), and this little baby voice starts going "OWWIE OWWIE OWWIE!!" and I'm like "OH SHEEZAW! FIJI'S SCREECHY VOICE IS BACK!" so I jump like ten feets in the air and bump my head on the ceiling and come crashing down next to this baby Usul who's hollering up a storm and then I realized that's what I had just kicked, and she's got her paws over her left eye and hopping around in little circles going "OWWIE OWWIE OWWIE! YOU HIT ME IN THE EYE, WAAAAHHH!!!" so I whip out my trusty thwacker Bluna Minty Critter and scream, "Who are you?!" and she screams "I'M RAINBOW POMPOMS!" and I go, "Oh sheezaw. That's the baby Kez and I were supposed to take care of." Then I scream, "HEY KEZ!! GETCHER BIG BOOTIE BACK HERE AND HELP ME TAKE CARE OF THIS USUL THING!" But Kez had her cloud door shut and from behind it I heard her yell something muffled back at me that was really really uncouth and impolite so I will not repeat it on this children's site but after she said that, I giggled to the Pompoms thing and said, "Ommm, Kez said a lot of dirty words" and then I was afraid that the baby's ears would melt off or something from having heard such publicly unrepeatable language, so I grabbed a big bucket of ice water and splashed it over Pompoms's head so her ears wouldn't melt, and next thing you know she was hollering and screaming louder than Fiji ever did. So I just stood there saying "Oh" and "Um" a lot, and I also said "Gee I don't think I know how to take care of these baby things very well" and Pompoms was crying and not making a whole lot of sense and I started wondering where the trash compactor was, but then I remembered that I had the dump truck pick it up by the curb after I stuffed Fiji in it, so I didn't have it anymore. So I said, "Oh sheezaw, I'm going to my room" cuz I was in the common at the time, the room between me and Kez's, and I went into my room and picked up a book and sat down on my bed. I started tearing the pages out and eating them one by one, but Pompoms kept on screaming and yelling in the next room until finally I threw my book down and said, "DING-DONGIT! I can't concentrate on my book with all that hootin' and hollerin'!" so I get up and stomp into the next room and yell at her, "MY NAME IS LECK! NICE TO MEET YOU!!" and then she got real quiet and looked at me with scaredy-cat eyes and just said, "Mmm-mmm...mmmm..mm-mmmm....mmmm...." and I said, "What?" and she said, "Mmmm..." and I said, "Speak up! I can't understand Eskimo!" and finally she said in this tiny squeaky voice, "I want my Mommy," so I go, "Awwww! isn't that cute? She wants her Mommy!" and I'm all like smiling and happy now from the cuteness of it all but for some reason she didn't look too happy so I go, "Here, Minty Critter's your Mommy today," and I whip out my thwacker Bluna and toss it at her feet. Poms stared at Minty Critter all soulfully and deeply like only baby eyes can and then finally after like two minutes says, "Mommy gives me hugs." Well I said, "Well, why dont'cha give Minty Critter some hugs? I'm sure he'd like that," but she looked like she was afraid to touch Minty Critter so I sighed and said, "What's wrong??" and she said "He's all slimy, I don't wanna touch him," and I go, "So?? Blunas are like that! Whaddya have against a poor stupid Bluna, huh??" and she looks at me and I could already tell the waterworks were coming again and soon she's got these little rivers flowing down her eyes again and bawling so I rolled my eyes as high as they could go, and sighed, in disgust, and said, "Here, lookit. It's not that hard to touch a Bluna, see?" and I pick him up and started swinging him around and whacking things and pretty soon I notice that I'm by myself in the room. "Yay! Pompoms ran away! Whew, that clears me of that responsibility." And I sighed happily and went into my room, eager to finish my book.
Next thing I know I see Poms on my bed, jumping up and down! "Yay! Yay! Your room is all chocolate!" she screamed. "Can I have a bite?"
"NO!" I yelled.
"Aww! Why not??"
"I'm saving it for Poogle Day!"
"But you have plenty!"
"Lookit! Jess already ate some of my walls and I yanked his tongue out for it! Want me to play banjo with your tongue?"
Then she gave me this real mean look and stuck her tongue out at me. I reached for it but she was too fast and she jumped over me and tore off a huge chunk outta my wall. "Mmmm! It's delicious!" she screamed as she took a bite.
"Why you little precocious snot-blowing brat! Gimme that!" And I lunged, but she dodged me and my face hit the floor. Chocolate floor, so it didn't hurt, much. She started taunting me, "Hah-hah! Hah-hah! I go-ot choc-olate!" and I started chasing her round and round the room and little baby bugger was faster than she looked, she had me running up and down the floors, walls, ceiling, under and over the bed, behind beneath and through the dresser and STILL I couldn't catch her! And the whole time I was yelling stuff at her like, "I'll bet you don't even know what precocious means!" and "Don't blow snot in my room!" and "Look both ways before you cross the street!" and "Eat your vegetables!" but I never could catch her until she suddenly stopped and I almost slammed into her, but she just looked at me sweetly with those weird baby eyes and said, "Okay, I'm all done with the chocolate now," and I looked at her paws and they were totally empty except for some traces of melted chocolate and I saw the rest of the white chocolate remains all around her face and mouth and then she let out this big ol "BURRRRRRP" so I shoot my paw down her throat and said "Gimme that chocolate!" and she BIT me!!!! Owwww, it hurt so much I coulda yelled "SHEEZAW!!!" from morning 'til dusk!! So now I'm dancin' around in my room yelling my head off and hopping around in little circles while she's giggling her butt off and I stopped and said, "Hm, this looks familiar, except our roles are reversed," and then I started hopping around some more.
Well by then I admitted defeat. Babies are evil monsters and their capacity for insane annoyance had outdone me, so I crawled sobbing into Jess' room and collapsed on the floor muttering "Calgon, take me away" and Jess was like, "Whut?" 'cuz as usual he was doped up on too much TV to use his brain properly, so I jumped up and kicked over his chair while he was still in it and he got smooshed by his big fat foofy recliner chair for big fat foofy butts and then he started chasing me cuz now he was all mad 'n' stuff so I ran outside and who should I see but evil pigtail monster following me! I whip out Minty Critter and hide behind the doorway, Jess comes running out and I let him have it in the face--whack!! "TAG!!" I scream, "You're it, baggy eyes!" and I scramble into Jess's room and barricade the door with everything Jess owns while he's outside flat on his back and then I hear evil monster baby giggles going something like this, "Hiyee! My name's Rainbow Pompoms! What's yours?" and Jess goes, "Aaah! Get off me! You're choking me with your death hugs!" or something like that but anyway I just kick back in Jess's big fatso chair and watch TV laughing my guts out, "AAAAAH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!" while Jess is all pounding on the door "Let me in! Let me in!" and I can hear him yelling cuz Poms is like pulling on his tail and yanking his ears like reins on a horsey ride and I thought it was hilarious so I stayed there in Jess's room for the next six hours and laughed myself unconscious! The End!
Whoo this is the second time I ended one of my days being unconscious and it's kinda scary cuz who knows what kinda pranks Jess and Nayoki play on me while I'm out of it....cuz I woke up that morning duct-taped to my ceiling and Kez had to get a big ladder and climb up to pull the tape off and get me down but when she pulled the tape off she wasn't very nice about it cuz she just yanked as hard as she could and it hurt worse than the time Jess switched my eye drops with hot sauce and I didn't realize it until it was too late. Anyway, I'm missing big chunks of my fur now and I hope it grows back...guess Kez is still mad about me stuffing her lovey-dovey Wocky boy down Fiji's throat, oh well.
Leck
"Babysitting?? Who said anything about babysitting??" I screamed at Kez and then Kez said "Now, now, it's only just for a little while, Pompoms is visiting from a friend's house and she's sweet and fun and easy to take care of!" and I said "Yeah that's what you said about Fiji the mutant kadoatie and he yelled his head off day and night and ate all the bamboo from our common room and he wouldn't shut up until I stuffed your Scratchcard Kiosk Wocky Plushie down his throat" and then Kez got this look on her face like I just ripped her spleen out and stepped on it and called it all sorts of nasty names like tofu and broccoli brussel sprout casserole and she started screaming at me "You had to remind me of that, didn't you?! You know how much I love him!!" and I go, "Well if he loved you don't you think he'd bake you a casserole or give you an Icetravaganza Scratchcard or something for your birthday? Huh? Huh?? HUH???" and she looked like she was gonna pop a gasket so I got a wrench and said "Here, lemme fix your gasket" but then all these big ol' watery tears like, exploded from her eyes and got my fur all soaked and I go, "EWWW! KEZ JUICE!" but she runs off all crying and hollering something about stupid inconsiderate cloud poogles and juice and stomping on chocolate donuts and "The Faerie Queen must hate me!!" and I dunno what the hay bales she was doodering on about but I guess she musta gone crazy or something. Well then I feel this tug at my leg and I instantly kick my foot out against it in case it was Fiji back from the trash compactor I stuffed him in (it was broken anyway so he didn't get squooshed, I'm not _that_ mean), and this little baby voice starts going "OWWIE OWWIE OWWIE!!" and I'm like "OH SHEEZAW! FIJI'S SCREECHY VOICE IS BACK!" so I jump like ten feets in the air and bump my head on the ceiling and come crashing down next to this baby Usul who's hollering up a storm and then I realized that's what I had just kicked, and she's got her paws over her left eye and hopping around in little circles going "OWWIE OWWIE OWWIE! YOU HIT ME IN THE EYE, WAAAAHHH!!!" so I whip out my trusty thwacker Bluna Minty Critter and scream, "Who are you?!" and she screams "I'M RAINBOW POMPOMS!" and I go, "Oh sheezaw. That's the baby Kez and I were supposed to take care of." Then I scream, "HEY KEZ!! GETCHER BIG BOOTIE BACK HERE AND HELP ME TAKE CARE OF THIS USUL THING!" But Kez had her cloud door shut and from behind it I heard her yell something muffled back at me that was really really uncouth and impolite so I will not repeat it on this children's site but after she said that, I giggled to the Pompoms thing and said, "Ommm, Kez said a lot of dirty words" and then I was afraid that the baby's ears would melt off or something from having heard such publicly unrepeatable language, so I grabbed a big bucket of ice water and splashed it over Pompoms's head so her ears wouldn't melt, and next thing you know she was hollering and screaming louder than Fiji ever did. So I just stood there saying "Oh" and "Um" a lot, and I also said "Gee I don't think I know how to take care of these baby things very well" and Pompoms was crying and not making a whole lot of sense and I started wondering where the trash compactor was, but then I remembered that I had the dump truck pick it up by the curb after I stuffed Fiji in it, so I didn't have it anymore. So I said, "Oh sheezaw, I'm going to my room" cuz I was in the common at the time, the room between me and Kez's, and I went into my room and picked up a book and sat down on my bed. I started tearing the pages out and eating them one by one, but Pompoms kept on screaming and yelling in the next room until finally I threw my book down and said, "DING-DONGIT! I can't concentrate on my book with all that hootin' and hollerin'!" so I get up and stomp into the next room and yell at her, "MY NAME IS LECK! NICE TO MEET YOU!!" and then she got real quiet and looked at me with scaredy-cat eyes and just said, "Mmm-mmm...mmmm..mm-mmmm....mmmm...." and I said, "What?" and she said, "Mmmm..." and I said, "Speak up! I can't understand Eskimo!" and finally she said in this tiny squeaky voice, "I want my Mommy," so I go, "Awwww! isn't that cute? She wants her Mommy!" and I'm all like smiling and happy now from the cuteness of it all but for some reason she didn't look too happy so I go, "Here, Minty Critter's your Mommy today," and I whip out my thwacker Bluna and toss it at her feet. Poms stared at Minty Critter all soulfully and deeply like only baby eyes can and then finally after like two minutes says, "Mommy gives me hugs." Well I said, "Well, why dont'cha give Minty Critter some hugs? I'm sure he'd like that," but she looked like she was afraid to touch Minty Critter so I sighed and said, "What's wrong??" and she said "He's all slimy, I don't wanna touch him," and I go, "So?? Blunas are like that! Whaddya have against a poor stupid Bluna, huh??" and she looks at me and I could already tell the waterworks were coming again and soon she's got these little rivers flowing down her eyes again and bawling so I rolled my eyes as high as they could go, and sighed, in disgust, and said, "Here, lookit. It's not that hard to touch a Bluna, see?" and I pick him up and started swinging him around and whacking things and pretty soon I notice that I'm by myself in the room. "Yay! Pompoms ran away! Whew, that clears me of that responsibility." And I sighed happily and went into my room, eager to finish my book.
Next thing I know I see Poms on my bed, jumping up and down! "Yay! Yay! Your room is all chocolate!" she screamed. "Can I have a bite?"
"NO!" I yelled.
"Aww! Why not??"
"I'm saving it for Poogle Day!"
"But you have plenty!"
"Lookit! Jess already ate some of my walls and I yanked his tongue out for it! Want me to play banjo with your tongue?"
Then she gave me this real mean look and stuck her tongue out at me. I reached for it but she was too fast and she jumped over me and tore off a huge chunk outta my wall. "Mmmm! It's delicious!" she screamed as she took a bite.
"Why you little precocious snot-blowing brat! Gimme that!" And I lunged, but she dodged me and my face hit the floor. Chocolate floor, so it didn't hurt, much. She started taunting me, "Hah-hah! Hah-hah! I go-ot choc-olate!" and I started chasing her round and round the room and little baby bugger was faster than she looked, she had me running up and down the floors, walls, ceiling, under and over the bed, behind beneath and through the dresser and STILL I couldn't catch her! And the whole time I was yelling stuff at her like, "I'll bet you don't even know what precocious means!" and "Don't blow snot in my room!" and "Look both ways before you cross the street!" and "Eat your vegetables!" but I never could catch her until she suddenly stopped and I almost slammed into her, but she just looked at me sweetly with those weird baby eyes and said, "Okay, I'm all done with the chocolate now," and I looked at her paws and they were totally empty except for some traces of melted chocolate and I saw the rest of the white chocolate remains all around her face and mouth and then she let out this big ol "BURRRRRRP" so I shoot my paw down her throat and said "Gimme that chocolate!" and she BIT me!!!! Owwww, it hurt so much I coulda yelled "SHEEZAW!!!" from morning 'til dusk!! So now I'm dancin' around in my room yelling my head off and hopping around in little circles while she's giggling her butt off and I stopped and said, "Hm, this looks familiar, except our roles are reversed," and then I started hopping around some more.
Well by then I admitted defeat. Babies are evil monsters and their capacity for insane annoyance had outdone me, so I crawled sobbing into Jess' room and collapsed on the floor muttering "Calgon, take me away" and Jess was like, "Whut?" 'cuz as usual he was doped up on too much TV to use his brain properly, so I jumped up and kicked over his chair while he was still in it and he got smooshed by his big fat foofy recliner chair for big fat foofy butts and then he started chasing me cuz now he was all mad 'n' stuff so I ran outside and who should I see but evil pigtail monster following me! I whip out Minty Critter and hide behind the doorway, Jess comes running out and I let him have it in the face--whack!! "TAG!!" I scream, "You're it, baggy eyes!" and I scramble into Jess's room and barricade the door with everything Jess owns while he's outside flat on his back and then I hear evil monster baby giggles going something like this, "Hiyee! My name's Rainbow Pompoms! What's yours?" and Jess goes, "Aaah! Get off me! You're choking me with your death hugs!" or something like that but anyway I just kick back in Jess's big fatso chair and watch TV laughing my guts out, "AAAAAH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!" while Jess is all pounding on the door "Let me in! Let me in!" and I can hear him yelling cuz Poms is like pulling on his tail and yanking his ears like reins on a horsey ride and I thought it was hilarious so I stayed there in Jess's room for the next six hours and laughed myself unconscious! The End!
Whoo this is the second time I ended one of my days being unconscious and it's kinda scary cuz who knows what kinda pranks Jess and Nayoki play on me while I'm out of it....cuz I woke up that morning duct-taped to my ceiling and Kez had to get a big ladder and climb up to pull the tape off and get me down but when she pulled the tape off she wasn't very nice about it cuz she just yanked as hard as she could and it hurt worse than the time Jess switched my eye drops with hot sauce and I didn't realize it until it was too late. Anyway, I'm missing big chunks of my fur now and I hope it grows back...guess Kez is still mad about me stuffing her lovey-dovey Wocky boy down Fiji's throat, oh well.
Leck