Disclaimer- please see previous chapters for disclaimer information and add
on the fact that don't own Casablanca or any of the characters in that
amazing movie. If you haven't seen I highly recommend it.
Authors notes- I want to send a huge thanks to those that reviewed my last chapter- Your support means a great deal to me. I am always up for constructive critism so if there is something that you don't think works please let me, of course I would love any type of feedback. I am sorry for the delay in the update. Hopefully this chapter will be worth it.
I would also like to thank my sister for her awesome Betaing skills, she has really helped me get and keep this story in line and moving forward and is quick to point out when I stop making sense.
Chapter 7 : A Time to be Born CIA Headquarters Langley, Va April 2010
The paperwork was still being finished. Ceremonies and meetings to review the gathered information were a constant distraction. Malone got the feeling that he would be in meetings for the rest of his natural born life. He had gotten two awards for his work on the case and had been told that he was "on his way" whatever the hell that meant. Two people had been noticeably absent from the onslaught of meetings, Sydney Bristow and Michael Vaughn. Malone remembered what Weiss had said when he had asked after them,
Malone only asked Weiss once where they were. Sydney not being there made sense, she was not an official part of the take down. The reason behind Vaughn's absences made little sense to Malone. Why would a man fly off to France, even to see his mother, when he had a son here he had never met? He had nagging suspicion that Sydney had yet to tell Vaughn the whole truth.
Watching and listening to his mentor during their meetings, it was obvious to him the degree of loyalty the man felt to both Sydney Bristow and Michael Vaughn. Malone didn't know what was so special about the two that inspired loyalty to all those involved with them, but it humbled him nonetheless. His musings were interrupted when he caught a glance at a familiar figure walked down the hall.
"Weiss my man, I am back and ready to get going." Vaughn hollered, "when's my next mission!!!?!!" Malone couldn't get a clean view of the man from behind his desk, but Vaughn's voice sounded jovial.
"Your next mission my friend is to sit your skinny butt in a chair and fill out the mountains of paperwork that you stuck me with that I am now re- sticking you with."
"Aw come on man, look I could still be dead and then you would have to do it by yourself."
"If you were still dead Mike I would only have half this paperwork and I could handle it by myself". The two friends laughed. How they could joke about death like that amazed him, but Malone had learned long ago that people handled all situations differently. Weiss led Vaughn back towards Malones office to finish the paperwork. Being right next door afforded Malone the chance to hear what they were saying to each, and the large window separating the office allowed him to sneak peaks and the bantering friends. "Man, you are one lucky son of a bitch, they are giving you 11 years of back pay."
"Yup I even get all the vacation time they owe me, I think I have like 8 months lined up by now."
"Well then you better finish that paperwork man- you are going no where until you can see the desk."
"Hell, by then I will have gotten another month added on."
Weiss laughed and left Vaughns makeshift office and headed back to his own. Malone just kept plugging away at his reports and before he knew it lunch had passed right by. He heard voices in the office next door and looked up to see who was visiting with Vaughn. He was surprised to see Sydney standing there. She looked different, she had put on weight, not much, but she looked healthier now. He had to admit she was one hell of a good- looking woman. He could barely make out what was said but the conversation seemed to be okay so far, he certainly was not up for being exposed to another fight or more theatrics.
"How are you doing? Weiss told me you went to see your mom. How is she doing?" Basic questions but they broke the ice Malone thought.
"She's doing well, shocked as hell to see me, and once she stopped crying she yelled at me for at least a day and a half." Vaughn had said this with a half joking tone, which led him to believe that it was most likely true. "My sister had gotten married while I was gone, so I got to meet her husband and their daughter."
"I know. I was there," Sydney said so softly Malone could barely here her. "Yeah, my mom told me."
"I called you. But you never called me back." She sounded put out to Malone. He tried to get back to his work but found himself just staring at the papers on his desk waiting for Vaughns response. But it never came. He cast quick glance at the window between the two offices to see what Vaughn was doing. Malone saw him just staring at Sydney. They both looked like they were waiting for the other to break.
"What's happened to us? Besides the obvious. We never had a problem talking before." She paused for a moment, "I want us back, Vaughn"
He gave a throaty chuckle, never breaking eye contact with her. "What happened Syd? You should know better than I. All I ever wanted was you." Malone watched as Vaughn leaned back in his chair. From his view it looked as if he was perfectly comfortable in the conversation. Maybe he figured stuff out when he was France, Malone thought to himself.
"I learned that we wanted different things. You taught me that."
"How? I wanted us to have a life, a family apart from the CIA. Isn't that what you wanted?" Sydney sounded genuinly confused by Vaughn's last statement.
"Yes Syd, that's what I wanted. But more than that I wanted you to support me and you didn't"
Malone grew uncomfortable listening in on the conversation. He knew it was about to get very personal, but he was worried leaving his office would be too conspicuous. He did not get a chance to move before he heard Syd speak up again.
"I did support you. But we had just started our life and you wanted to go off on another mission. I was scared."
"But it wasn't just another mission, Syd. I had intel on my father. You of all people should know what it feels like to find out the parent you thought was dead, was, in fact, still alive."
"Yeah and look what my quest for my mother got me. A lot of heartache."
Malone perked up at the mention of Irina Derevko, the infamous spy that was Sydney's mother.
"But I always supported you, even if I did not agree with what you were doing. I always supported you. Why could you not do that for me, just one time." His voiced had reached the level of near yelling and Malone could tell that he was losing his composure.
"That's not fair Vaughn and you damn well know it!!" Sydney practically yelled at him. "I would have done anything for you, I have never felt the way I feel when I am with you. I was focused on my life, because for the first time I was getting to live it. You were not brought up to be spy, Michael. You had choices in your life. I had none, all my choices were made for me. I needed the chance to make the decision for myself, to be ME for once, not Superagent Bristow!" Her voice was raised and starting to crack. Malone got the feeling this meeting was not going how she had planned.
Vaughn hollered back. "I loved you Syd, from the start, with your bright pink hair and the fire in your eyes. All I ever wanted was to be with you, in any way you could give me. For a while it was as friends and then I moved to something more, but it never seemed like you did. You were so damn stuck on proving that you could be normal you forgot to live, Syd. You forgot to share yourself with me. I was never allowed to be a part of your life, only your plans and hell, I never had a say on half of those either. But I didn't care, because I was with you and that's all that mattered." Vaughn took a long breath as he gathered his thoughts. "Until I needed you to be there for me, to support me and you wouldn't. I realized then that what we had was an illusion. I got to close and it disappeared."
"Vaughn no, what we have is the most real thing I have ever had. It's the only thing in my life that is not based on half-truths and lies. You are the only thing that mattered. I wanted to prove to you that I was worth the wait. That I could be normal andthat we could be together. But I was scared to let you leave. I had already lost one fiancée; I couldn't bear to lose you too."
"Damnit Syd! It wasn't about you. It was about me for once and you couldn't see that. I am not Danny and I am damn sick of the guilty feeling I got whenever something remotely bad happened, like I had let you down by stubbing my toe or something. I can't live in his shadow or under your cloak of paranoia. Why couldn't you just give me the support I needed? Why Syd? Was I not important to you, were my needs not important enough for you? Our whole relationship was built on your needs and how you could achieve them. God damnit Syd, why couldn't you give me the one thing I wanted? I just wanted to be treated as an equal, to get your support like I had so often given you mine. WHY?" by this time Vaughn was yelling and Malone was decidedly uncomfortable. He felt that if he left his office now it would be way to noticeable so he stayed put and just tried to wait it out.
"It had nothing to do with not supporting you, Michael. I was scared of what may happen if you were caught and loom at what happened, my fears were right. But it wasn't because I was scared of losing you for myself, but I was scared of losing you for our son." Syd said the last part in a low voice, but it was tinged with anger and Malone had to struggle to make out the words. He looked at Vaughn's reaction and he had to give him credit, he masked it well. If it were not for the clenched fists he would not be able to tell how he felt about that admission.
"Son?" His voice was strangled. Malone couldn't tell if he was angry, but after an admission like that, he could only assume that was the case. Vaughn's head was down and he seemed to be trying to compose himself.
"Patrick, Patrick Vaughn, he's 5 now. Looks just like you, right down to the eyes and crooked smile." She was calm when describing her son to his father, but he could hear the pride in her voice.
"Son?" this time Vaughn seemed to be getting angry. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"I was mad. I had planned on telling you, then we got into the fight and I said those horrible things to you. But you never came home, Vaughn and I had to live with the fact that you were gone, never knowing about him and that's my fault. I've lived with that guilt for 6 years."
"I don't know what you are expecting from me here. How could you keep this from me? How could you think it would not have made a differnece in my decision?"
Sydney spoke quietly but with a resolve that Malone had not heard from her before. "I know. I would have known that then but I wasn't thinking clearly. I can't ever make that up to you. But when you are ready, I would love for you to be a part of his life." She crossed over to his desk and laid down something on his desk. She then gave him one last glance and walked out of his office.
Authors notes- I want to send a huge thanks to those that reviewed my last chapter- Your support means a great deal to me. I am always up for constructive critism so if there is something that you don't think works please let me, of course I would love any type of feedback. I am sorry for the delay in the update. Hopefully this chapter will be worth it.
I would also like to thank my sister for her awesome Betaing skills, she has really helped me get and keep this story in line and moving forward and is quick to point out when I stop making sense.
Chapter 7 : A Time to be Born CIA Headquarters Langley, Va April 2010
The paperwork was still being finished. Ceremonies and meetings to review the gathered information were a constant distraction. Malone got the feeling that he would be in meetings for the rest of his natural born life. He had gotten two awards for his work on the case and had been told that he was "on his way" whatever the hell that meant. Two people had been noticeably absent from the onslaught of meetings, Sydney Bristow and Michael Vaughn. Malone remembered what Weiss had said when he had asked after them,
Malone only asked Weiss once where they were. Sydney not being there made sense, she was not an official part of the take down. The reason behind Vaughn's absences made little sense to Malone. Why would a man fly off to France, even to see his mother, when he had a son here he had never met? He had nagging suspicion that Sydney had yet to tell Vaughn the whole truth.
Watching and listening to his mentor during their meetings, it was obvious to him the degree of loyalty the man felt to both Sydney Bristow and Michael Vaughn. Malone didn't know what was so special about the two that inspired loyalty to all those involved with them, but it humbled him nonetheless. His musings were interrupted when he caught a glance at a familiar figure walked down the hall.
"Weiss my man, I am back and ready to get going." Vaughn hollered, "when's my next mission!!!?!!" Malone couldn't get a clean view of the man from behind his desk, but Vaughn's voice sounded jovial.
"Your next mission my friend is to sit your skinny butt in a chair and fill out the mountains of paperwork that you stuck me with that I am now re- sticking you with."
"Aw come on man, look I could still be dead and then you would have to do it by yourself."
"If you were still dead Mike I would only have half this paperwork and I could handle it by myself". The two friends laughed. How they could joke about death like that amazed him, but Malone had learned long ago that people handled all situations differently. Weiss led Vaughn back towards Malones office to finish the paperwork. Being right next door afforded Malone the chance to hear what they were saying to each, and the large window separating the office allowed him to sneak peaks and the bantering friends. "Man, you are one lucky son of a bitch, they are giving you 11 years of back pay."
"Yup I even get all the vacation time they owe me, I think I have like 8 months lined up by now."
"Well then you better finish that paperwork man- you are going no where until you can see the desk."
"Hell, by then I will have gotten another month added on."
Weiss laughed and left Vaughns makeshift office and headed back to his own. Malone just kept plugging away at his reports and before he knew it lunch had passed right by. He heard voices in the office next door and looked up to see who was visiting with Vaughn. He was surprised to see Sydney standing there. She looked different, she had put on weight, not much, but she looked healthier now. He had to admit she was one hell of a good- looking woman. He could barely make out what was said but the conversation seemed to be okay so far, he certainly was not up for being exposed to another fight or more theatrics.
"How are you doing? Weiss told me you went to see your mom. How is she doing?" Basic questions but they broke the ice Malone thought.
"She's doing well, shocked as hell to see me, and once she stopped crying she yelled at me for at least a day and a half." Vaughn had said this with a half joking tone, which led him to believe that it was most likely true. "My sister had gotten married while I was gone, so I got to meet her husband and their daughter."
"I know. I was there," Sydney said so softly Malone could barely here her. "Yeah, my mom told me."
"I called you. But you never called me back." She sounded put out to Malone. He tried to get back to his work but found himself just staring at the papers on his desk waiting for Vaughns response. But it never came. He cast quick glance at the window between the two offices to see what Vaughn was doing. Malone saw him just staring at Sydney. They both looked like they were waiting for the other to break.
"What's happened to us? Besides the obvious. We never had a problem talking before." She paused for a moment, "I want us back, Vaughn"
He gave a throaty chuckle, never breaking eye contact with her. "What happened Syd? You should know better than I. All I ever wanted was you." Malone watched as Vaughn leaned back in his chair. From his view it looked as if he was perfectly comfortable in the conversation. Maybe he figured stuff out when he was France, Malone thought to himself.
"I learned that we wanted different things. You taught me that."
"How? I wanted us to have a life, a family apart from the CIA. Isn't that what you wanted?" Sydney sounded genuinly confused by Vaughn's last statement.
"Yes Syd, that's what I wanted. But more than that I wanted you to support me and you didn't"
Malone grew uncomfortable listening in on the conversation. He knew it was about to get very personal, but he was worried leaving his office would be too conspicuous. He did not get a chance to move before he heard Syd speak up again.
"I did support you. But we had just started our life and you wanted to go off on another mission. I was scared."
"But it wasn't just another mission, Syd. I had intel on my father. You of all people should know what it feels like to find out the parent you thought was dead, was, in fact, still alive."
"Yeah and look what my quest for my mother got me. A lot of heartache."
Malone perked up at the mention of Irina Derevko, the infamous spy that was Sydney's mother.
"But I always supported you, even if I did not agree with what you were doing. I always supported you. Why could you not do that for me, just one time." His voiced had reached the level of near yelling and Malone could tell that he was losing his composure.
"That's not fair Vaughn and you damn well know it!!" Sydney practically yelled at him. "I would have done anything for you, I have never felt the way I feel when I am with you. I was focused on my life, because for the first time I was getting to live it. You were not brought up to be spy, Michael. You had choices in your life. I had none, all my choices were made for me. I needed the chance to make the decision for myself, to be ME for once, not Superagent Bristow!" Her voice was raised and starting to crack. Malone got the feeling this meeting was not going how she had planned.
Vaughn hollered back. "I loved you Syd, from the start, with your bright pink hair and the fire in your eyes. All I ever wanted was to be with you, in any way you could give me. For a while it was as friends and then I moved to something more, but it never seemed like you did. You were so damn stuck on proving that you could be normal you forgot to live, Syd. You forgot to share yourself with me. I was never allowed to be a part of your life, only your plans and hell, I never had a say on half of those either. But I didn't care, because I was with you and that's all that mattered." Vaughn took a long breath as he gathered his thoughts. "Until I needed you to be there for me, to support me and you wouldn't. I realized then that what we had was an illusion. I got to close and it disappeared."
"Vaughn no, what we have is the most real thing I have ever had. It's the only thing in my life that is not based on half-truths and lies. You are the only thing that mattered. I wanted to prove to you that I was worth the wait. That I could be normal andthat we could be together. But I was scared to let you leave. I had already lost one fiancée; I couldn't bear to lose you too."
"Damnit Syd! It wasn't about you. It was about me for once and you couldn't see that. I am not Danny and I am damn sick of the guilty feeling I got whenever something remotely bad happened, like I had let you down by stubbing my toe or something. I can't live in his shadow or under your cloak of paranoia. Why couldn't you just give me the support I needed? Why Syd? Was I not important to you, were my needs not important enough for you? Our whole relationship was built on your needs and how you could achieve them. God damnit Syd, why couldn't you give me the one thing I wanted? I just wanted to be treated as an equal, to get your support like I had so often given you mine. WHY?" by this time Vaughn was yelling and Malone was decidedly uncomfortable. He felt that if he left his office now it would be way to noticeable so he stayed put and just tried to wait it out.
"It had nothing to do with not supporting you, Michael. I was scared of what may happen if you were caught and loom at what happened, my fears were right. But it wasn't because I was scared of losing you for myself, but I was scared of losing you for our son." Syd said the last part in a low voice, but it was tinged with anger and Malone had to struggle to make out the words. He looked at Vaughn's reaction and he had to give him credit, he masked it well. If it were not for the clenched fists he would not be able to tell how he felt about that admission.
"Son?" His voice was strangled. Malone couldn't tell if he was angry, but after an admission like that, he could only assume that was the case. Vaughn's head was down and he seemed to be trying to compose himself.
"Patrick, Patrick Vaughn, he's 5 now. Looks just like you, right down to the eyes and crooked smile." She was calm when describing her son to his father, but he could hear the pride in her voice.
"Son?" this time Vaughn seemed to be getting angry. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"I was mad. I had planned on telling you, then we got into the fight and I said those horrible things to you. But you never came home, Vaughn and I had to live with the fact that you were gone, never knowing about him and that's my fault. I've lived with that guilt for 6 years."
"I don't know what you are expecting from me here. How could you keep this from me? How could you think it would not have made a differnece in my decision?"
Sydney spoke quietly but with a resolve that Malone had not heard from her before. "I know. I would have known that then but I wasn't thinking clearly. I can't ever make that up to you. But when you are ready, I would love for you to be a part of his life." She crossed over to his desk and laid down something on his desk. She then gave him one last glance and walked out of his office.