"A Christmas Story" Chapter 7

Duo wasn't sure what had happened or why Heero had looked like a scared child. He wanted to know, but he was also afraid of what it would do to the fragile young man. He decided to wait a couple days before going to brave whatever storm he was about to awaken.

Relena answered the door her face worn with worry, which heightened Duo's senses even more. He stepped inside when she started speaking. "What happened? He's locked himself in his room and hasn't made a sound like..."

Duo looked at her when she stopped suddenly. He realized she wasn't going to say anymore. "I'm not sure what happened. One minute it was okay and I was joking with Trowa, the next he looks like a lost child and rushes off."

Relena's eyebrow moved like she had thought of something, "Did he act really mad or maybe talk with a threatening tone?"

Duo nodded not liking where this was heading at all.

Relena sighed. "Before everything fell apart, father would raise his voice whenever Heero did something he thought shameful and foolish. I had to coax Heero out of his closet many times because of that; he was too young to understand. Then they just started ignoring him altogether, I hated watching it."

"Relena Heero had said they left..." Duo wasn't sure what he was asking but something felt off.

Relena looked at him a moment but said nothing. "I better check on him," she finally said.

Duo sighed realizing he wasn't going to get anymore information, "Let me, since it was my fault."

She handed him a key with a slight smile which Duo returned before going upstairs to Heero's room. Sliding the key in he unlocked the door and gently pushed it open. His eyes fell on Heero who lay heaped in that bay window, when Duo noticed something in his still hand. Rushing over he jerked Heero back earning him a startled gasp. His eyes grew wide at the sight before him.

Jerking the silver knife free from limp fingers he rushed to the hall calling Relena's name before returning with the first aid kit. He growled as he tipped Heero's head back. Two cuts ran along his left cheek, still bleeding, while one oozed at his wrist.

"Damn it Heero!" Duo cursed getting out some disinfectant and cleaning pads.

Heero jerked back, "Leave me alone! You don't care; you're just going to leave... too."

Not if he could help it, Duo thought before even realizing it. Yes, he was feeling something strong; he didn't quite no what to call it yet though. Gripping Heero's chin firmly he brought the swab to Heero's bleeding cheek.

Heero flinched at the sting against his skin. He was right; Duo was only here out of pity. He wasn't going to stay. He had other interests, like Quatre. His eyes closed as he tried to squelch the tears he couldn't understand. Why was he even crying? He didn't even like... His mind stopped that thought realizing it a lie. In the last few weeks he realized something inside of him was feeling, when he never thought that possible again.

He felt a thumb lightly trace over his right cheek and he knew tears were escaping. He tried to push Duo away when he felt something around his wrist move slightly. Opening his eyes they focused on the white gauze wrapped neatly around his wrist. Another scar for his growing collection. Why couldn't, just once, it work? He looked around not seeing the item he seek.

"That's long gone," Duo's voice said startling him to look up and meet violet eyes. They looked worried, Heero noted before looking away when Duo's voice spoke again. "Why do you do this? Heero what if I had gotten here too late?"

Heero looked up again. "Stop it! Stop! Go away; you don't want me so just get out!"

"What?"
"No, I can't do this," Heero said his shoulders sagging. "Please go... looking at you hurts, hurts more then I thought could... being with you, know you only do this because it makes Lena feel better. Why? Why are you doing this to me?" Heero was almost screaming the words.

Duo looked startled for only a moment before he regained his composure. "Heero I'm not doing this because of Relena, I'm doing it because of you."

Heero looked out the window refusing to meet Duo's eyes.

"Heero why here? Why do you always sit here?" Duo asked remembering he had asked before but never received an answer.

"I had watched them come and go everyday," Heero answered quietly pulling his knees to his chest. "Sometimes I think if I sit here long enough I will see them again."

Duo reached his hand over gently clasping it over Heero's shaking ones. They had hurt him so badly yet he still was waiting for their return. Duo wanted to make all the pain in those blue eyes disappear forever. He wanted to see Heero really smile.

"Why do you hurt yourself if you're waiting for them to come back?" Duo asked squeezing Heero's hand.

Heero looked up moisture glistening in his eyes, "Because I know they are never coming back. I drove them away, so why are you still here."

"Not possible to drive me away," Duo answered with a smile. "I don't get scared or upset easily."

"Why not?" Heero demanded harshly.

"You want me to walk away, like they did?" Duo asked seriously.

Heero sucked in his breath, Duo words piercing something inside him. "You... you will just like everyone else... I... can't stand these feelings. I don't want to feel them... I just want it all to stop!"

"Then don't push everyone away, let me in... I'm not leaving like they did," Duo replied his fingers gently caressing Heero's hand.

"You will, they did," Heero replied turning his eyes away. "Lena will leave too and I'll be all alone."

"No you won't, she's not leaving and neither am I," Duo answered shifting his hand to gain more contact between them. "You don't see it, do you?"

"See what?" Heero asked startled his eyes focusing on Duo again.

"That you're beautiful and perfect. Well I see it and refuse to give up no matter what you say or do," Duo answered holding Heero's gaze.

"You're wrong! That's not..."

"Shh..." Duo hushed him with a finger over trembling lips. "I never lie, no reason to."

Heero's eyes widen as the slender finger continued to rest against his lips. A light knocking startled them, causing Heero to almost jump off the bench.

"Heero, Duo I've made some dinner," Relena's quiet voice said through the door.

Heero shook his head, "I can't face her like this, she always looks so upset after I've..."

"If that's true then why do you still do it?" Duo asked moving to stand up.

"She wasn't supposed to find me."

"Well to bad cause I'm not letting you try it again," Duo answered taking Heero's wrist and pulling him from the window. "Now come on I'm hungry."

"But..."

"And I'd imagine so are you, locking yourself in here!" Duo cut him off pulling the young man out of the room.