Hello, Everyone.
Little trouble last night so I couldn't get this chapter out. However, it's here today! What's the good news, you ask? Because I was a day late on yesterday's chapter, you get two chapters in two days. That's right. I will release nine tomorrow.
Thanks for your patience with me! I hope you enjoy this bit. Let me know how you feel! Your feedback helps me so much.
Without further ado.
*Cheery Vibes*, Nimue
"As sick as it sounds, in my little head, there's a little Sunnydale, and a widdle Spike and a widdle Buffy and Spike wubs Buffy." James Marsters 14 July 2002
Title: Compromise (Chapter Eight of The One)
Author: Nimue
Rating: PG -13
Pairing: Buffy/Spike. Most major characters included.
Feedback: Yes, please
For instant notification of fic releases, straight to your mailbox, please visit Always_Everyday@yahoogroups.com
Disclaimer: All characters belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, UPN, Fox... Just Borrowing. (With, of course, the exception of Emma and William, who belong to Buffy and Spike)
Summary: Spike confronts Buffy about their relationship. Buffy begins to understand the extent to which her ending would upset the balance and hurt her family. Luke and Draconius monitor their plan. Willow and Tara have a talk and come to at least one conclusion.
Compromise
The morning was dreary. Sort of overcast. Actually, Spike thought, were they not in Sunnydale in the absence of dear old granddad, it looked like it might snow. Funny how the poof still could work his way into his thoughts when Buffy and he disagreed. Not that he worried about him anymore. Rationally, Spike knew where Buffy stood. Where she found her home. But in the moments they argued, all of those insecurities came rushing back. All of those moments when he knew he wouldn't be good enough for her, or that he'd never be her precious first love.
"But you're my last," Buffy said softly, opening the door onto the back deck and quietly walking across the wooden planks. He sat on the step, knees drawn to his chest, looking like he wanted to find a cigarette. He didn't. He hadn't for years. But she could see that twitch in the corner of his mouth where he wanted to be holding the filter and thinking different thoughts.
"You buggering round my brain again?" Spike asked. The comment was supposed to carry malice. Only it didn't. He couldn't muster any for her. Instead, it just sounded.sad.
"Didn't need to," she answered, settling herself next to him but not touching. Now was not the time for touching. Buffy knew she had some explaining to do first. "I know you well enough to know what you're thinking."
Spike chuckled under his breath. "You know me so bloody well, then how come you don't understand why I don't want you to fight alone, Buffy? Even the little battles. Those are the ones that'll get you killed."
He didn't look at her. His voice was soft. Afraid. Like all of this had far more meaning to him than Buffy had ever considered. What had happened was so minor. She'd done worse to herself trying to make breakfast. And it didn't seem to bother him that the same wound ached at his side. That was just a mystery to figure out. What was killing him was the moment. The one good day. The thought that he was too late and she hadn't been quite fast enough, even with the juiced up super speed of the One. The knife had only missed her heart because of fate. And if it had killed her, even if it had managed to kill him too, the only thing that he would take to their ending was that he let her down.
Buffy knew that that was the one failure by which he would never again abide.
"Spike, I." she began.
"No, Buffy," Spike snapped, turning his face towards hers. "I have tried. Over and over again, I've tried to never take away what it is that you are. The thing about you that first blew my sodding mind. The Slayer. The Warrior of the People. That's you, Pet. It'll always be you. Just mine now by default." The last words carried more disappointment than Buffy could bear. He felt guilty that she carried it alone. Even joined, he couldn't take away her duty. He could only help. Most of the time, he didn't want to take it from her. It was what he first fell in love with. Her spark. But some moments, like the time he spent sitting in Emma's room imagining that he'd have to tell his daughter that he let her mum die. It was then he wished that he could take it all away.
Buffy bit her lip. "It's not by default, Spike. You're as much a part of this as I am."
Spike shook his head, staring at his feet. "No, Pet. I fight because you taught me it was the right thing to do. And I knew I could help. But I started this for you. And still, part of me does it because I need to protect you. Bit selfish, but true."
She smiled. "Maybe in the beginning, but Spike, I know you do it now because we have to. We have to try and protect the rest of them."
Finally, he turned his face to her, wrought with concern and sadness. "I do, Love. I do fight with you because the rest of the world can't. But, Buffy, what good is it, what good is any of this, if you die? If the World loses you? If.if I lose you?"
His eyes were so deep that she could feel herself struggling to say afloat. Plunging into the depths of his heart and feeling his world swimming in fear and loneliness at just the thought. It made her ache. "You didn't lose me, Spike." It was all she could think of to say.
Spike turned his face away again. "Not this time, Love. But I coulda. I coulda stood there and watched a stupid, sodding fledgling take you away from the World. From me. From the tots. I can't do that anymore, Buffy. Don't care if it hurts your bloody pride. You can be as angry at me as you want. But at least you'll be alive to kick my arse."
Buffy chuckled. "And such a nice arse it is," she joked, raising an eyebrow.
"S'not bloody funny," Spike snapped. Buffy stiffened. Usually, he didn't hang onto his anger this long anymore. Well, that was patently untrue. He didn't when it came to *them*. To her and to their children. He could hold a grudge against the rest of the world with the best of them. "Do you ever think about that, Buffy?"
Her brow furrowed. "Think about what?"
"What'd happen if you died?" He asked, looking at her once again. "Permanently?" He corrected, thinking that the question was ambiguous to both of them otherwise.
She wrung her hands in her lap, looking away. "Uh.I mean.I know what's out there, but I am in no real rush to get back."
Spike shook his head. "And what about here, Pet? Hmm? Think about it for a minute." His voice wavered. "This house, without you in it. Be like a Christmas tree without the star. I could take care of them. I mean, I could feed them and make sure they went to school and had clothes, though I imagine your sis would pick them out due to my petrifying lack of fashion sense." he rambled, tossing her barb from the night before back at her. "But they'd never know, they'd barely remember when they were older. Emma might. But Will.he'd spend his life not knowing the one woman in all the World that was his mum. And I'd have to tell him every day, I'd have to remember every bloody day, how wonderful you are and how much I love you and how much I miss you and I want to die with you, but I *can't*. I bloody *can't* because I have to stay and make sure they *know* you because you couldn't be bothered to stay with them anymore."
Buffy looked gob smacked. She had thought about what would happen if one of them went. But she hadn't thought about it quite like that. What would happen if she died because she didn't let him help when he could have. Her sense of duty got in the way of her sense of love. That, she thought, she needed to work on.
Slowly, Buffy stood. Spike's eyes glanced towards her, assuming he'd pissed her off just enough to pick up and walk off. Didn't do that much anymore, but he didn't tell her off often either. Didn't have the need. Mostly, they saw eye to eye. Or mind to mind.
But she didn't walk away. She moved around in front of him, down a stair and sat on her heels to face him. Her small hands touched the denim covering his knees and she opened them, pressing her body into the space between. He couldn't look at her. Wouldn't. Felt as though he'd crack into a million pieces if he could see what he might lose. The only downside of loving her. One day she'd be gone.
"Spike," Buffy whispered, her hands trailing up his arms to his face. Her palms pressed to his cheeks, drawing his eyes to hers. "Listen, Okay? I know you're over me today, but can you listen for a minute?"
He looked at her, watching her green eyes heavy and serious. They were like emeralds sinking in pools of shining water. He wanted to dive in to save them. "All right," he agreed.
"Try not to have a stroke when I say this, but you're right. I'm wrong." She paused a moment, letting a brief but genuine flash of shock pass over his features. "I mean, I am the Slayer. I will always be the Slayer. Until.until I'm not anymore. But I don't want that to be now. And I don't want it to be anytime while I'm able enough to fight. It's me and I like that. And you do too, somewhere."
He nodded, not wanting to speak.
She accepted his answer. "One day, I will die. And one day, you will too. With any luck, we'll be old and shriveled up and curled in a bed with Emma and Will's grandchildren tearing through the house. Or maybe we'll die in a fight, but together. But I won't let it happen before it's meant to. Being the One is just as much a part of me as the Slayer. As Buffy. But being yours, being theirs, is the biggest part of me now. And I don't want to leave it. If that means I have to swallow the whole 'I can do it, girl- power trip', then I guess I will. But you have to promise me something."
"What, Pet?" Spike asked softly, not sure if he could compromise much on this topic.
"You have to let me fight. You can't protect me from what's out there. It's *our* battle. If I have to remember that, then so do you. Don't ever leave them alone, Spike. If it's one of us or both, we always have to remember that one stays here. We can't leave them alone.." She began to waver, her voice sounding like leaves on the wind. It wasn't so long ago that she'd been left alone. Granted, her father hadn't died. Didn't have to to leave her. What he did was worse. But that was the one thing she didn't want her own to ever go through. If they could manage it, one would always have to stay behind. He didn't like it, but he respected it.
"Fair enough," Spike said softly, his own hand rising to her cheek. Her eyes closed and he could feel her press into him, trying to let go of all of the sadness in her and find herself in his touch. His thumb traced her cheek. "I can't take away your calling, Pet. And I would never want to. I love the Slayer bits as much as the Buffy bits. I'm not a proud man. I've never had a problem with the fact that you could send me back across the pond with a kick or two. You'll always be stronger, more powerful, more . light. But I can help you, Love. That's all I ever wanted to do. Well, least since the change of heart."
She chuckled, opening her eyes again. "I want you to help me."
He nodded. "Good, then. Don't make me watch you die when I could've stopped it."
"I won't," Buffy whispered. She leaned forward, letting her lips press softly to his. Not a kiss of passion, but rather one of comfort. They both had scars that would never be healed. But together, the voids they left behind were filled. The empty spaces life had gouged from their existence disappeared. And it was all right again.
"And I'll see to it that we die in that bed, then. Since you'll still be my golden goddess and I'll still be trying to get into your knickers," Spike snarked, running his hand over her shiny hair. She smiled.
"Even when we're all wrinkly?" She asked.
"Don't think it matters much. You'll still be you," he answered, touching his lips to her forehead.
"And you are my only love," Buffy answered. "Don't ever belittle that."
He pulled away, looking at her for a moment. "I know it still crosses your mind. When you're upset with me, or you think I'm upset with you. I was not your first love. You weren't mine. But you are my last. My only." She continued, watching his eyes soften. Maybe she really did know him that well, he thought. "Always."
"Everyday, Pet," he completed, letting his lips find hers in earnest. He took her breath away, his mouth so hungry, his heart so needing of her love. It made her world revolve and her life worth saving.
She sat stunned for a moment when he moved away. Old married guys weren't supposed to kiss like that. At least not all the time. She was one lucky girl, Buffy thought. She cleared her throat. "Cyrus and Giles want to talk to us more about what happened, okay?"
"Didn't you tell them, Pet?" Spike asked, rubbing her cheek with his thumb.
"Yeah," she sighed, "But I think they think I'm missing something. Guess they want to hear it from you."
He chuckled. "Always thorough."
That made her smile. "Not nearly as thorough as you."
"I still owe you a Sundae," he commented, smiling a wicked smile.
"I won't forget," Buffy purred, standing and pulling him up with her. "I love you, Spike."
He stopped, looking at her pretty eyes again. Studying them. There were no words enough to let her know what she meant to him. "I know, Pet. You are my heart."
She smiled softly. "Can we go in now? It's getting chilly."
"Yeah," he answered, sliding his jacket off and around her shoulders. "But Buffy?"
"Hunh?" She asked, turning around at the door.
Spike was quiet, not sure why he was feeling the way he was at the moment. But something told him this was important. "I think we should stay in tonight. Least till we have this sussed out."
Buffy nodded. She looked too tired to fight. "Yeah. Xander and Willow can do a quick round. Maybe take Dawn. We can stay in."
"Good," he answered, holding the door open. "Want to be with you and the tots."
Draconius stalked the length of the red carpet, the fire blazing behind him. Luke had an unhealthy penchant for red. As if it reinforced his ability to be evil. All it did for Draconius was make his eyes hurt.
Luke stared into the monitor, watching the woman huddled in what looked to be a shed. "She's not doing a whole lot, Drac," Luke monitored, tapping the monitor with his index finger as that might spur her along. Like some might tap on the side of a fish tank thinking that might make the fish swim faster.
"She's not meant to, you moron," Draconius snapped, yanking the monitor from Luke's hand and setting it on a table. "Were she just to walk in there and start wreaking havoc on the masses, it wouldn't take the One long to figure it out."
"Oh," Luke sighed, leaning back in the chair. "You know, you don't need to get all huffy about it." He was quiet a minute. "Wanna go grab a beer and watch the torture trials? I think today is rock tossing at damned souls from 30 feet. Fun and excitement for the whole family," Luke taunted, bouncing on the red velvet cushion.
Draconius sighed. "Will it get you to shut up?"
Luke thought on that a moment. "Except for the cheering on of the torturers, yeah." Again, he stopped, gathering his thoughts. "How do we know that it worked?"
"She's there, correct?" Draconius explained, as if to a slow child.
"Yeah."
"The spell is doing all of the work. We sent her to find the One. If she got within 100 yards of them, the charm let loose the spell and their paths will cross," the old one continued. "She is our pawn for now. All she must do until we give her further instructions is wait. The spell will do the rest."
"Oh," Luke sighed again. "And what exactly will she do?"
"Do you ever listen?" Draconius huffed, making the fire flame up behind him. "I mean, I have explained to you a thousand times that the spell will cross the One. Confusing their power. And then, once we are sure that has been done, we will send her in for the Peacemaker."
"Oh," Luke chirped, pushing himself to his feet. "I mean, if you say so. You ready for that beer?"
Draconius shook his head. This would be the most trying alliance he'd had. And he'd thought the farm boy was a little short of brilliant. This git would likely drive him mad before he could ever succeed in their plans. "Provided you don't speak to *me*, yes."
"Let's do it," Luke sang cheerfully, heading out the door.
A soft knock sounded at her office door. Tara looked up, wondering who would be there. Campus was basically silent on the day after Christmas. No one should be wandering around the halls. It made Tara nervous.
As she approached the door, she could feel it, and it made her smile. Willow. She swung the wood against the carpet of the small office with a soft hiss. "Hey there," Willow chirped, holding two paper cups of coffee. "Thought you might need a break."
Tara leaned forward, letting a kiss press against her lover's cheek. "Absolutely," she answered. "Come on in."
Willow walked in, handing Tara a cup and flopping down on the couch. Tara sat down next to her, curling her legs underneath of her. "So, whatcha doing?"
"Making lesson plans for Wicca in US Universities and trying to figure out how not to be boring," Tara answered, smiling softly at her lover.
Willow chuckled. "You're never boring, baby."
The word rang between them for a moment and brought them back to the big honking thoughts that had hung in the air since Spike and Buffy had first brought it up last night. Baby. "Did...did you want to talk?"
"Talk about.not if you don't want to," Willow answered nervously. "I mean, we can."
"We should," Tara completed. "Oz came by this morning."
"He.he did?" Willow asked. "While I was sleepin'?"
Tara smiled. "I didn't want to wake you. He wanted to say he was sorry for how he treated me when we met before. And he wanted to make sure I knew where he stood. That he.he wanted to help us.if... if we want him to. And he wanted to be sure we knew that it might.well, the Werewolf thing. It could be hereditary. And he asked.He asked if we would be willing to let him be a part of the baby's life, if we decided to."
"Sounds like you talked about a lot," Willow sighed. "Was he there a long time?"
"Just for a few minutes. I think he felt like he needed to say it on his own. Without Spike and Buffy," Tara answered. "It was nice."
"Good," Willow said, her voice still thready with nervousness. She paused, her fingers running up the side of the coffee cup. "So.what.what are you thinking?"
Tara was quiet. Thinking was all she had done since it all came back up. Thinking about the implications of this. The how's, the why's, the what's. Should they? Shouldn't they? Who? And would it be easier or harder to have someone they knew as the father? But she came back to the same place she always did when she was confused. Instinct. And her instincts were telling her this was right. "I.I think that we should take him up on the offer."
The look on Willow's face was a mixture of utter shock and complete happiness. A frightened look, but not like seeing a big scary demon scared. Like happy scared. "You.you do?"
Tara smiled, taking Willow's hands. "It's up to you what we do from here. I mean, I will tell you how I feel and what I think, but I just feel like it's the right thing to do." She paused, watching Willow's face for a moment. "Spike was right. We've been talking about this way too long. The answer just sort of got presented to us. Maybe that means we should trust it."
"Yeah," Willow answered. "Yeah," she repeated with a little more conviction. "But.but how? And...and who?"
A sly smile broke on Tara's soft face. "I think we've made one big decision for the day. Let's not overdo it."
Willow giggled. "So, we're going to do this."
Tara nodded her reply. "Yes, we are."
To be contd.
Little trouble last night so I couldn't get this chapter out. However, it's here today! What's the good news, you ask? Because I was a day late on yesterday's chapter, you get two chapters in two days. That's right. I will release nine tomorrow.
Thanks for your patience with me! I hope you enjoy this bit. Let me know how you feel! Your feedback helps me so much.
Without further ado.
*Cheery Vibes*, Nimue
"As sick as it sounds, in my little head, there's a little Sunnydale, and a widdle Spike and a widdle Buffy and Spike wubs Buffy." James Marsters 14 July 2002
Title: Compromise (Chapter Eight of The One)
Author: Nimue
Rating: PG -13
Pairing: Buffy/Spike. Most major characters included.
Feedback: Yes, please
For instant notification of fic releases, straight to your mailbox, please visit Always_Everyday@yahoogroups.com
Disclaimer: All characters belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, UPN, Fox... Just Borrowing. (With, of course, the exception of Emma and William, who belong to Buffy and Spike)
Summary: Spike confronts Buffy about their relationship. Buffy begins to understand the extent to which her ending would upset the balance and hurt her family. Luke and Draconius monitor their plan. Willow and Tara have a talk and come to at least one conclusion.
Compromise
The morning was dreary. Sort of overcast. Actually, Spike thought, were they not in Sunnydale in the absence of dear old granddad, it looked like it might snow. Funny how the poof still could work his way into his thoughts when Buffy and he disagreed. Not that he worried about him anymore. Rationally, Spike knew where Buffy stood. Where she found her home. But in the moments they argued, all of those insecurities came rushing back. All of those moments when he knew he wouldn't be good enough for her, or that he'd never be her precious first love.
"But you're my last," Buffy said softly, opening the door onto the back deck and quietly walking across the wooden planks. He sat on the step, knees drawn to his chest, looking like he wanted to find a cigarette. He didn't. He hadn't for years. But she could see that twitch in the corner of his mouth where he wanted to be holding the filter and thinking different thoughts.
"You buggering round my brain again?" Spike asked. The comment was supposed to carry malice. Only it didn't. He couldn't muster any for her. Instead, it just sounded.sad.
"Didn't need to," she answered, settling herself next to him but not touching. Now was not the time for touching. Buffy knew she had some explaining to do first. "I know you well enough to know what you're thinking."
Spike chuckled under his breath. "You know me so bloody well, then how come you don't understand why I don't want you to fight alone, Buffy? Even the little battles. Those are the ones that'll get you killed."
He didn't look at her. His voice was soft. Afraid. Like all of this had far more meaning to him than Buffy had ever considered. What had happened was so minor. She'd done worse to herself trying to make breakfast. And it didn't seem to bother him that the same wound ached at his side. That was just a mystery to figure out. What was killing him was the moment. The one good day. The thought that he was too late and she hadn't been quite fast enough, even with the juiced up super speed of the One. The knife had only missed her heart because of fate. And if it had killed her, even if it had managed to kill him too, the only thing that he would take to their ending was that he let her down.
Buffy knew that that was the one failure by which he would never again abide.
"Spike, I." she began.
"No, Buffy," Spike snapped, turning his face towards hers. "I have tried. Over and over again, I've tried to never take away what it is that you are. The thing about you that first blew my sodding mind. The Slayer. The Warrior of the People. That's you, Pet. It'll always be you. Just mine now by default." The last words carried more disappointment than Buffy could bear. He felt guilty that she carried it alone. Even joined, he couldn't take away her duty. He could only help. Most of the time, he didn't want to take it from her. It was what he first fell in love with. Her spark. But some moments, like the time he spent sitting in Emma's room imagining that he'd have to tell his daughter that he let her mum die. It was then he wished that he could take it all away.
Buffy bit her lip. "It's not by default, Spike. You're as much a part of this as I am."
Spike shook his head, staring at his feet. "No, Pet. I fight because you taught me it was the right thing to do. And I knew I could help. But I started this for you. And still, part of me does it because I need to protect you. Bit selfish, but true."
She smiled. "Maybe in the beginning, but Spike, I know you do it now because we have to. We have to try and protect the rest of them."
Finally, he turned his face to her, wrought with concern and sadness. "I do, Love. I do fight with you because the rest of the world can't. But, Buffy, what good is it, what good is any of this, if you die? If the World loses you? If.if I lose you?"
His eyes were so deep that she could feel herself struggling to say afloat. Plunging into the depths of his heart and feeling his world swimming in fear and loneliness at just the thought. It made her ache. "You didn't lose me, Spike." It was all she could think of to say.
Spike turned his face away again. "Not this time, Love. But I coulda. I coulda stood there and watched a stupid, sodding fledgling take you away from the World. From me. From the tots. I can't do that anymore, Buffy. Don't care if it hurts your bloody pride. You can be as angry at me as you want. But at least you'll be alive to kick my arse."
Buffy chuckled. "And such a nice arse it is," she joked, raising an eyebrow.
"S'not bloody funny," Spike snapped. Buffy stiffened. Usually, he didn't hang onto his anger this long anymore. Well, that was patently untrue. He didn't when it came to *them*. To her and to their children. He could hold a grudge against the rest of the world with the best of them. "Do you ever think about that, Buffy?"
Her brow furrowed. "Think about what?"
"What'd happen if you died?" He asked, looking at her once again. "Permanently?" He corrected, thinking that the question was ambiguous to both of them otherwise.
She wrung her hands in her lap, looking away. "Uh.I mean.I know what's out there, but I am in no real rush to get back."
Spike shook his head. "And what about here, Pet? Hmm? Think about it for a minute." His voice wavered. "This house, without you in it. Be like a Christmas tree without the star. I could take care of them. I mean, I could feed them and make sure they went to school and had clothes, though I imagine your sis would pick them out due to my petrifying lack of fashion sense." he rambled, tossing her barb from the night before back at her. "But they'd never know, they'd barely remember when they were older. Emma might. But Will.he'd spend his life not knowing the one woman in all the World that was his mum. And I'd have to tell him every day, I'd have to remember every bloody day, how wonderful you are and how much I love you and how much I miss you and I want to die with you, but I *can't*. I bloody *can't* because I have to stay and make sure they *know* you because you couldn't be bothered to stay with them anymore."
Buffy looked gob smacked. She had thought about what would happen if one of them went. But she hadn't thought about it quite like that. What would happen if she died because she didn't let him help when he could have. Her sense of duty got in the way of her sense of love. That, she thought, she needed to work on.
Slowly, Buffy stood. Spike's eyes glanced towards her, assuming he'd pissed her off just enough to pick up and walk off. Didn't do that much anymore, but he didn't tell her off often either. Didn't have the need. Mostly, they saw eye to eye. Or mind to mind.
But she didn't walk away. She moved around in front of him, down a stair and sat on her heels to face him. Her small hands touched the denim covering his knees and she opened them, pressing her body into the space between. He couldn't look at her. Wouldn't. Felt as though he'd crack into a million pieces if he could see what he might lose. The only downside of loving her. One day she'd be gone.
"Spike," Buffy whispered, her hands trailing up his arms to his face. Her palms pressed to his cheeks, drawing his eyes to hers. "Listen, Okay? I know you're over me today, but can you listen for a minute?"
He looked at her, watching her green eyes heavy and serious. They were like emeralds sinking in pools of shining water. He wanted to dive in to save them. "All right," he agreed.
"Try not to have a stroke when I say this, but you're right. I'm wrong." She paused a moment, letting a brief but genuine flash of shock pass over his features. "I mean, I am the Slayer. I will always be the Slayer. Until.until I'm not anymore. But I don't want that to be now. And I don't want it to be anytime while I'm able enough to fight. It's me and I like that. And you do too, somewhere."
He nodded, not wanting to speak.
She accepted his answer. "One day, I will die. And one day, you will too. With any luck, we'll be old and shriveled up and curled in a bed with Emma and Will's grandchildren tearing through the house. Or maybe we'll die in a fight, but together. But I won't let it happen before it's meant to. Being the One is just as much a part of me as the Slayer. As Buffy. But being yours, being theirs, is the biggest part of me now. And I don't want to leave it. If that means I have to swallow the whole 'I can do it, girl- power trip', then I guess I will. But you have to promise me something."
"What, Pet?" Spike asked softly, not sure if he could compromise much on this topic.
"You have to let me fight. You can't protect me from what's out there. It's *our* battle. If I have to remember that, then so do you. Don't ever leave them alone, Spike. If it's one of us or both, we always have to remember that one stays here. We can't leave them alone.." She began to waver, her voice sounding like leaves on the wind. It wasn't so long ago that she'd been left alone. Granted, her father hadn't died. Didn't have to to leave her. What he did was worse. But that was the one thing she didn't want her own to ever go through. If they could manage it, one would always have to stay behind. He didn't like it, but he respected it.
"Fair enough," Spike said softly, his own hand rising to her cheek. Her eyes closed and he could feel her press into him, trying to let go of all of the sadness in her and find herself in his touch. His thumb traced her cheek. "I can't take away your calling, Pet. And I would never want to. I love the Slayer bits as much as the Buffy bits. I'm not a proud man. I've never had a problem with the fact that you could send me back across the pond with a kick or two. You'll always be stronger, more powerful, more . light. But I can help you, Love. That's all I ever wanted to do. Well, least since the change of heart."
She chuckled, opening her eyes again. "I want you to help me."
He nodded. "Good, then. Don't make me watch you die when I could've stopped it."
"I won't," Buffy whispered. She leaned forward, letting her lips press softly to his. Not a kiss of passion, but rather one of comfort. They both had scars that would never be healed. But together, the voids they left behind were filled. The empty spaces life had gouged from their existence disappeared. And it was all right again.
"And I'll see to it that we die in that bed, then. Since you'll still be my golden goddess and I'll still be trying to get into your knickers," Spike snarked, running his hand over her shiny hair. She smiled.
"Even when we're all wrinkly?" She asked.
"Don't think it matters much. You'll still be you," he answered, touching his lips to her forehead.
"And you are my only love," Buffy answered. "Don't ever belittle that."
He pulled away, looking at her for a moment. "I know it still crosses your mind. When you're upset with me, or you think I'm upset with you. I was not your first love. You weren't mine. But you are my last. My only." She continued, watching his eyes soften. Maybe she really did know him that well, he thought. "Always."
"Everyday, Pet," he completed, letting his lips find hers in earnest. He took her breath away, his mouth so hungry, his heart so needing of her love. It made her world revolve and her life worth saving.
She sat stunned for a moment when he moved away. Old married guys weren't supposed to kiss like that. At least not all the time. She was one lucky girl, Buffy thought. She cleared her throat. "Cyrus and Giles want to talk to us more about what happened, okay?"
"Didn't you tell them, Pet?" Spike asked, rubbing her cheek with his thumb.
"Yeah," she sighed, "But I think they think I'm missing something. Guess they want to hear it from you."
He chuckled. "Always thorough."
That made her smile. "Not nearly as thorough as you."
"I still owe you a Sundae," he commented, smiling a wicked smile.
"I won't forget," Buffy purred, standing and pulling him up with her. "I love you, Spike."
He stopped, looking at her pretty eyes again. Studying them. There were no words enough to let her know what she meant to him. "I know, Pet. You are my heart."
She smiled softly. "Can we go in now? It's getting chilly."
"Yeah," he answered, sliding his jacket off and around her shoulders. "But Buffy?"
"Hunh?" She asked, turning around at the door.
Spike was quiet, not sure why he was feeling the way he was at the moment. But something told him this was important. "I think we should stay in tonight. Least till we have this sussed out."
Buffy nodded. She looked too tired to fight. "Yeah. Xander and Willow can do a quick round. Maybe take Dawn. We can stay in."
"Good," he answered, holding the door open. "Want to be with you and the tots."
Draconius stalked the length of the red carpet, the fire blazing behind him. Luke had an unhealthy penchant for red. As if it reinforced his ability to be evil. All it did for Draconius was make his eyes hurt.
Luke stared into the monitor, watching the woman huddled in what looked to be a shed. "She's not doing a whole lot, Drac," Luke monitored, tapping the monitor with his index finger as that might spur her along. Like some might tap on the side of a fish tank thinking that might make the fish swim faster.
"She's not meant to, you moron," Draconius snapped, yanking the monitor from Luke's hand and setting it on a table. "Were she just to walk in there and start wreaking havoc on the masses, it wouldn't take the One long to figure it out."
"Oh," Luke sighed, leaning back in the chair. "You know, you don't need to get all huffy about it." He was quiet a minute. "Wanna go grab a beer and watch the torture trials? I think today is rock tossing at damned souls from 30 feet. Fun and excitement for the whole family," Luke taunted, bouncing on the red velvet cushion.
Draconius sighed. "Will it get you to shut up?"
Luke thought on that a moment. "Except for the cheering on of the torturers, yeah." Again, he stopped, gathering his thoughts. "How do we know that it worked?"
"She's there, correct?" Draconius explained, as if to a slow child.
"Yeah."
"The spell is doing all of the work. We sent her to find the One. If she got within 100 yards of them, the charm let loose the spell and their paths will cross," the old one continued. "She is our pawn for now. All she must do until we give her further instructions is wait. The spell will do the rest."
"Oh," Luke sighed again. "And what exactly will she do?"
"Do you ever listen?" Draconius huffed, making the fire flame up behind him. "I mean, I have explained to you a thousand times that the spell will cross the One. Confusing their power. And then, once we are sure that has been done, we will send her in for the Peacemaker."
"Oh," Luke chirped, pushing himself to his feet. "I mean, if you say so. You ready for that beer?"
Draconius shook his head. This would be the most trying alliance he'd had. And he'd thought the farm boy was a little short of brilliant. This git would likely drive him mad before he could ever succeed in their plans. "Provided you don't speak to *me*, yes."
"Let's do it," Luke sang cheerfully, heading out the door.
A soft knock sounded at her office door. Tara looked up, wondering who would be there. Campus was basically silent on the day after Christmas. No one should be wandering around the halls. It made Tara nervous.
As she approached the door, she could feel it, and it made her smile. Willow. She swung the wood against the carpet of the small office with a soft hiss. "Hey there," Willow chirped, holding two paper cups of coffee. "Thought you might need a break."
Tara leaned forward, letting a kiss press against her lover's cheek. "Absolutely," she answered. "Come on in."
Willow walked in, handing Tara a cup and flopping down on the couch. Tara sat down next to her, curling her legs underneath of her. "So, whatcha doing?"
"Making lesson plans for Wicca in US Universities and trying to figure out how not to be boring," Tara answered, smiling softly at her lover.
Willow chuckled. "You're never boring, baby."
The word rang between them for a moment and brought them back to the big honking thoughts that had hung in the air since Spike and Buffy had first brought it up last night. Baby. "Did...did you want to talk?"
"Talk about.not if you don't want to," Willow answered nervously. "I mean, we can."
"We should," Tara completed. "Oz came by this morning."
"He.he did?" Willow asked. "While I was sleepin'?"
Tara smiled. "I didn't want to wake you. He wanted to say he was sorry for how he treated me when we met before. And he wanted to make sure I knew where he stood. That he.he wanted to help us.if... if we want him to. And he wanted to be sure we knew that it might.well, the Werewolf thing. It could be hereditary. And he asked.He asked if we would be willing to let him be a part of the baby's life, if we decided to."
"Sounds like you talked about a lot," Willow sighed. "Was he there a long time?"
"Just for a few minutes. I think he felt like he needed to say it on his own. Without Spike and Buffy," Tara answered. "It was nice."
"Good," Willow said, her voice still thready with nervousness. She paused, her fingers running up the side of the coffee cup. "So.what.what are you thinking?"
Tara was quiet. Thinking was all she had done since it all came back up. Thinking about the implications of this. The how's, the why's, the what's. Should they? Shouldn't they? Who? And would it be easier or harder to have someone they knew as the father? But she came back to the same place she always did when she was confused. Instinct. And her instincts were telling her this was right. "I.I think that we should take him up on the offer."
The look on Willow's face was a mixture of utter shock and complete happiness. A frightened look, but not like seeing a big scary demon scared. Like happy scared. "You.you do?"
Tara smiled, taking Willow's hands. "It's up to you what we do from here. I mean, I will tell you how I feel and what I think, but I just feel like it's the right thing to do." She paused, watching Willow's face for a moment. "Spike was right. We've been talking about this way too long. The answer just sort of got presented to us. Maybe that means we should trust it."
"Yeah," Willow answered. "Yeah," she repeated with a little more conviction. "But.but how? And...and who?"
A sly smile broke on Tara's soft face. "I think we've made one big decision for the day. Let's not overdo it."
Willow giggled. "So, we're going to do this."
Tara nodded her reply. "Yes, we are."
To be contd.