Title: Bring Me To Life (1/?)
Rating: PG-13 (for now)
Pairing: H/D
Author: Wizard Inc. (A subsidiary of Virtual Crack Productions)
Author's E-mail: Marvelwizard@yahoo.com
Disclaimer: By a cruel twist of fate I own none of the characters, so
please don't get mad and sue. Title belongs to Evanescence.
Author's note: I was listing to Metallica when I started this fic, so it's
a little dark. Part one of the story is told from Helena's p.o.v.
I feel like I've been holding my breath for years. I have been running through 8 years blind, guided by my anger, my grief, guided by my fear, The pain was the only thing that seemed to let me know I was still alive. For so long I held myself, wishing for death. I fought the good fight for Barbara, I became her legs, her means, I guess I am still fighting for her but it no longer means anything to me anymore. I fight for Dinah, making sure she stays alive, even if I'm slowly dying. I hide within my false happy shell. I tried to fill the void in so many ways. I tried torturing my self with the violence, taking beating after beating, only fighting them off when I wanted to go and lick my wounds. I never bothered trying to hide it. I know Barbara and Dinah noticed. Barbara never said anything to me but I could see the sadness and the pity in her eyes, it pisses me off. Dinah just tries to save me in her own little way, whether its telling corny jokes or pestering me to train with her, she is slowly creeping her way into my heart. I tried loosing my self in Reese, I tried to love him, but I couldn't. When we touched there was nothing, he couldn't make me feel alive. I should feel guilty I suppose, I used him, trying to find myself in his kisses, but I don't. He couldn't handle me, my life. He tried to make me what he wanted, but he failed miserably. He seemed jealous and hateful of everyone in my small world, especially Dinah, although I don't understand why. I search now for a why to fill that void, the void that has numbed even my pain. Are all heroes this depressed? Probably not, but I don't exactly come from sunshine stock. I guess I need to find my sunshine. Dinah has become my light. I didn't want her to be, I fought against it in the beginning, but over the past year and a half I have lost the fight. I don't deserve her; I don't want to hurt her, I don't want her to leave. Everytime we touch a little part of me is brought to life, ever so briefly. I want to touch her, to hold her so badly, it's beginning to consume me. I need to touch her, to kiss her, to prove to myself that's it is just another cruel joke, that I can't really be saved. Fuck it, I shouldn't, but I'm going to. Nothing else matters anymore.
To Be Continued.
I feel like I've been holding my breath for years. I have been running through 8 years blind, guided by my anger, my grief, guided by my fear, The pain was the only thing that seemed to let me know I was still alive. For so long I held myself, wishing for death. I fought the good fight for Barbara, I became her legs, her means, I guess I am still fighting for her but it no longer means anything to me anymore. I fight for Dinah, making sure she stays alive, even if I'm slowly dying. I hide within my false happy shell. I tried to fill the void in so many ways. I tried torturing my self with the violence, taking beating after beating, only fighting them off when I wanted to go and lick my wounds. I never bothered trying to hide it. I know Barbara and Dinah noticed. Barbara never said anything to me but I could see the sadness and the pity in her eyes, it pisses me off. Dinah just tries to save me in her own little way, whether its telling corny jokes or pestering me to train with her, she is slowly creeping her way into my heart. I tried loosing my self in Reese, I tried to love him, but I couldn't. When we touched there was nothing, he couldn't make me feel alive. I should feel guilty I suppose, I used him, trying to find myself in his kisses, but I don't. He couldn't handle me, my life. He tried to make me what he wanted, but he failed miserably. He seemed jealous and hateful of everyone in my small world, especially Dinah, although I don't understand why. I search now for a why to fill that void, the void that has numbed even my pain. Are all heroes this depressed? Probably not, but I don't exactly come from sunshine stock. I guess I need to find my sunshine. Dinah has become my light. I didn't want her to be, I fought against it in the beginning, but over the past year and a half I have lost the fight. I don't deserve her; I don't want to hurt her, I don't want her to leave. Everytime we touch a little part of me is brought to life, ever so briefly. I want to touch her, to hold her so badly, it's beginning to consume me. I need to touch her, to kiss her, to prove to myself that's it is just another cruel joke, that I can't really be saved. Fuck it, I shouldn't, but I'm going to. Nothing else matters anymore.
To Be Continued.