Title: Finding Family (Chapter 11)
Author: Sirius
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: R/J
Summary: Rory and Jess find that they are supposed to be together. Jess gets a visit from someone in New York, which leads to a very complicated week.
OPEN TO LUKE'S APARTMENT
(Jess is on the phone talking to Zachary, trying to work out the details for the night.)
Jess: I haven't practiced, I'm not even sure I remember how to play.
Zachary: You'll get up there and it'll all come back. If you want, come early and we'll go over the songs.
Jess: Okay, what are we playing tonight?
Zachary: The usual probably. This gig is only letting us have 30 minutes. I say we take 15, break for 3, and then another 10 or so.
Jess: Okay what are we opening with? (He pulls out a notebook and starts writing down song titles as Zachary says them.)
Zachary: I say we open with "Letters to You"
Jess: Okay, and how bout "Nothing Frequency" after that?
Zachary: Great. Then we'll go into "Drifting" and "This Ride."
Jess: That'll take us to break right?
Zachary: Yeah.
Jess: What do we play after that?
Zachary: I say "Too Far Gone."
Jess: Okay, then how bout "Fat Lip" and "Desperately Wanting?" (keeps writing down the song titles)
Zachary: Great. "Desperately Wanting" will show variety and then we need something for the last song.
Jess: Yeah
Zachary: Any ideas?
Jess: Well . . .
Zachary: Shoot.
Jess: I have a small favor to ask.
Zachary: Ask on.
Jess: Can I do the last song on my own?
Zachary: Got something special planned?
Jess: I might.
Zachary: Special how?
Jess: For Rory.
Zachary: You gone softy or something?
Jess: God no. Just something I wanted to play her.
Zachary: Yeah, I'll ask the guys, but it's fine with me. You bringing her tonight?
Jess: Yeah, she said she wanted to come. (Jess adds something at the end of the list, rips out the sheet, folds the paper before sticking it in his pocket and closes the notebook)
Zachary: She can take care of herself right?
Jess: She should be able to. Oh, by the way, what time does the gig start?
Zachary: Uh . . . I think we're on at 8 but if you want practice, you're gonna have to come at like 5 because there's two bands before us and they'll have to set up and stuff.
Jess: Okay. How're our funds?
Zachary: We took out some cash for Dustin's uh . . .funeral. We're a little low but tonight's gig pays 100 bucks.
Jess: I've got some. I got a second job and Luke gave me a bit of a raise. I'll bring 75 tonight. Then we'll have enough to advertise a little right?
Zachary: Yeah, that'd be great. Where you working?
Jess: Well Luke's got me at the diner for like 5 hours a day and then I got a job stocking at Wal-Mart.
Zachary: You're kidding me.
Jess: Sadly no.
Zachary: You . . . at Wal-Mart?
Jess: Yeah, that's not the worst part though. A while ago they made me Employee of the Month.
Zachary: Damn, that's pathetic.
Jess: Yeah, but not entirely. I got 200 bucks from it.
Zachary: Awesome dude.
Jess: (hears a knock at the door) Yeah, hey listen man, I gotta go. I'll see ya tonight. (to the person outside) Come in!
Zachary: You coming early?
Jess: I'm gonna have to. (sees Rory walk in and smiles at her) I'll talk to you later.
Zachary: Later.
(they hang up)
Jess: Hey.
Rory: Hey. What're you up to?
Jess: A lot of nothing.
Rory: We're on tonight right?
Jess: Yeah, I just got off the phone with Zachary, he said I had to be there at 5 since we haven't practiced . . . the whole Dustin thing . . . no one felt up to it.
Rory: (sits down at the table opposite him) You'll be great tonight.
Jess: I just hope we can get through it.
Rory: (covers his hand with hers) You will. It will be hard, but you will.
Jess: (looks up into her eyes) Well, you'll be there.
Rory: (nods) You wanna go for a walk?
Jess: Yeah.
(they stand up and leave the apartment)
CUT TO BRIDGE
(Rory and Jess are walking on the bridge while holding hands. They stop to sit down.)
Rory: So, is Carly coming tonight?
Jess: If I can get her to.
Rory: Where is the gig anyway?
Jess: At this club in New York.
Rory: (gets worried but tries to hid it) How safe is it?
Jess: You'll be fine. I'll be right there with you the whole time, you can come back stage and everything. I've already talked to the guys about it. And when we're on, I'll be looking at you the whole time.
Rory: (snuggles closer to Jess and he puts his arm around her) Thank you.
Jess: You're welcome. Plus, I know the bartender, stay at the bar and he'll look out for you. Oh, and Carly is a regular there with me, the bartender knows her too, and she can totally kick ass if she needs to, so you'll be covered.
Rory: Do you know your song list?
Jess: Yeah, that's what Zachary and I were working out on the phone.
Rory: What are you playing? (Jess takes his arm from around her and fishes in his pocket for the list. He hands it to Rory and she studies it.) Ah, Finch, AutoPilot Off, Yellowcard, Starting Line, All-American Rejects, Sum 41, and Better Than Ezra. Very nice.
Jess: (Puts his arm back around her) I thought so.
Rory: Who is "Gonna Go" by?
Jess: Me.
Rory: You write songs?
Jess: No, I just wrote that one.
Rory: What's it about?
Jess: You.
Rory: You wrote me a song?
Jess: (shrugs and looks at her) Yeah.
Rory: When?
Jess: Over the summer.
Rory: Can I hear it?
Jess: Tonight you can.
Rory: Aw, come on, just sing the chorus.
Jess: Who said I sang?
Rory: I did.
Jess: Well, what if I don't?
Rory: You wrote the song, you have to sing it. No one but the person who writes the song can sing them.
Jess: That is not the case in about 98% of music today.
Rory: You were never a conformist.
Jess: Okay, I sing it.
Rory: Yay, go on.
Jess: I meant I DO sing it, I didn't say I WILL sing it.
Rory: Fine, I'll just hear it tonight.
Jess: You realize you just wasted like three minutes in an argument you were gonna give up on anyway.
Rory: Yes, I realize and accept that.
Jess: As long as you're cool with it.
Rory: I am so cool you wouldn't imagine.
Jess: I can imagine enough. (Kisses her)
Rory: We should get back. We have to leave at like 1 right?
Jess: Yeah, the bus leaves at 1.
Rory: Okay, I'll meet you there at quarter till.
Jess: Okay. (they stand up hand in hand and Jess puts his arm around Rory's waist as they walk back to town) I'm nervous.
Rory: Don't be.
Jess: Can't help it.
Rory: Think of something else.
Jess: Like?
Rory: Ayn Rand.
Jess: God no.
Rory: Fine, since you're in such need of a distraction, Hemmingway?
Jess: Hmm.
Rory: Okay, no that's not fun for me.
Jess: How can my thinking impact you at all?
Rory: It can.
Jess: If you say so.
Rory: I say so.
(they reach Rory's house)
Rory: Well, I guess I'll see you later then.
Jess: Yeah, I guess.
Rory: (pulls him close to her) Don't worry, you'll do great tonight.
Jess: Thanks. (kisses her and lets her go) I'll see you at the bus.
Rory: See ya.
Jess: Love you.
Rory: Love you too.
CUT TO LATER THAT AFTERNOON ON THE BUS
Jess: (drumming his fingers on his knees) So, what'd Lorelai say when you told her you were coming?
Rory: She was really hesitant to let me go, but I think she's starting to trust you more now.
Jess: Really? I didn't think I'd ever get to this point. (Rory smiles) So, ever been to a club before?
Rory: No. I'm a little nervous.
Jess: You'll be fine. Carly is coming later, remember?
Rory: How is she getting there?
Jess: She stayed with a friend in New York, the mom will drive her I guess. Or she'll just say she's going to Liz's and come to the club instead.
Rory: Is this how it's always been?
Jess: Well, yeah. But it's not that bad, really. I only had her stay with the friend because I wasn't gonna be there, ya know, in case Frank tried something.
Rory: (takes his hand from his knee and grips it tightly) I know that 'sorry' doesn't help anything, but I am.
Jess: (kisses her hand) I know. Thank you.
Rory: How are you holding up?
Jess: Better actually.
Rory: Good. You're gonna be fine. You're gonna play great, and you're gonna do fine.
Jess: It's just hard.
Rory: I'll bet it is. Carly's right though, Dustin would want you to play the gig.
Jess: I mean, he won't be there.
Rory: I know.
Jess: That's the thing though, you don't know. And I mean that honestly. I love you and you know that, but you don't know and you won't ever know what I'm going through. You never knew him.
Rory: (nods sympathetically) I wish I could have. I think I would have liked him.
Jess: You would have. (smiles) Everyone liked him.
Rory: Are you dedicating tonight to him?
Jess: I don't know, do you think I should?
Rory: I think it would be nice if you did. He would appreciate it.
Jess: (shrugs) Okay.
CUT TO THE CLUB
(Rory and Jess walk in holding hands and the volume of the music immediately startles her. Jess nods to the bartender, who smiles back, and Jess leads her backstage where it is incredibly quieter and to where Michael, Blake, and Zachary are sitting.)
Jess: Hey guys.
Michael: Hey.
Blake: Good to see ya man. (nods at Rory) And this must be Rory.
Rory: (blushes) Yeah.
Jess: That's Blake, and that's Michael, and there's Zachary.
Rory: (smiles at each one of them in turn) It's nice to meet you.
Michael: Okay, well, we should get started. Jess, do you have the track list?
Jess: Uh, yeah, hold on. (he takes it out of his pocket and hands it to Michael)
Blake: (looking over Michael's shoulder) Great, let's get started then.
(Jess pulls out a guitar and Michael gets his bass. Blake sets up behind the keyboard. They begin tuning while Zachary, who plays the drums, sits back and listens in. They play a little of each song until Jess nods to show it's coming back.)
CUT TO THE CLUB
(It's about three hours later and the guys are about to go on.)
Zachary: Okay, you guys ready?
Michael: Let's go dude.
Blake: Totally.
Jess: Uh, sure.
Rory: (puts her hand on Jess' arm and pulls him aside) How are you?
Jess: I can't go.
Rory: Yes you can.
Jess: Dustin always was good right before a show.
Rory: You'll be fine. The other guys are excited; you'll do great.
Jess: Where are you gonna be?
Rory: I'll stand at the bar with Carly.
Jess: I'll look for you.
Rory: I'll be watching you.
Jess: Here goes nothing.
Rory: Good luck.
Jess: Thanks.
Rory: I love you.
Jess: I love you too.
(Rory pulls him into a kiss that only lasts a second because the club manager calls them on stage.)
Manager: And now, for a little bit of rock, a little bit of roll, and a whole lot of punk, I give you . . . THE GOOD-NATURED DELINQUENTS!!!!
(The guys head out onstage with excited looks on their faces. They grab their instruments and Jess starts out singing "Letters To You")
Jess: Thank you very much. Before we start, I'd like to mention that tonight is dedicated to a very good friend of the entire band. We recently . . . lost . . . our second guitarist to cancer. Tonight is dedicated to guy named Dustin. We love you dude. Anyway, the first song we'll be playing is called "Letters to You" by Finch.
Can't you see
That I wanna be
There with open arms
It's empty tonight and I'm all alone
Get me through this one
Do you notice I'm gone?
Where do you run to so far away?
I want you to know that
I miss you
I miss you so
I want you to know that
I miss you
I miss you so
I'm writing again
These letters to you
Aren't much, I know
But I'm not sleeping
And you're not here
The thought stops my heart
Do you notice I'm gone?
Where do you run to so far away?
I want you to know that
I miss you
I miss you so
No more looking I've found home
I want you to know that
I miss you
I miss you so
I'm gone away
I'm gone away
Jess: Okay then. First off, we wanna thank you all for coming out tonight. You all having fun? (crowd yells) Alright then! This next song we're gonna play is called "Nothing Frequency" and it's by AutoPilot Off.
There's static in the atmosphere
A constant interference that is killing me
I'm losing the connection here
And all the frequencies are down
And this silence seems so loud
That's why
This system shorted out
Programmed restraint before the shutting down
This system shorted out
Memory fails during the crashing down.
I'm screaming at the satellites
I'm watching all the screens go black in front of me.
I'm sending out a prayer tonight
Because all the frequencies are down
And this silence seems so loud.
And as it's starting to fade out
And as we're heading underground
There is a pessimistic side of me that knows that this
Might never turn itself around
Jess: So, we only get 30 minutes up here so we better get going. This next song is called "Drifting" by Yellowcard.
When I look into your eyes, I can see
Such a sad man in disguise
Waiting, wishing, dreaming, drifting from me
Hurts my heart to hear you cry
Waiting, wishing, dreaming, drifting from me
I don't know you anymore
Wish I knew what's wrong
Can't we try to slam that door
Start a brand new song
I know you're lonely and you cry
Wondering why
I know it's lonely but if once
You could help me understand
What it takes to be a man
Look back on what you've said
And the life you've led
Is it what you dreamed when you were young like me.
Now it's time you took something back
just for the sake of your mind.
When I look into your eyes
I can see
Life has buried you alive
Waiting, wishing, dreaming, drifting from me
You can't breathe
Heart as big as ocean's wide
Waiting, wishing, dreaming, drifting from me
(song ends and the crowd starts to clap)
It says hold on and take this ride
And set aside
Memories of all the times
When you collide
Then you'll leave me here to die
Here's the things I meant
But I never said
It says sit back and take the time
To lose your mind
And find out what its like to die
So where's my spine
When its time to give an obvious and simple reason why
I won't write again
What do you see
When you look at me
Do you take me for a fool
So what makes you play this game
With results always the same
And nothing but bad reputations to gain
It speaks to me like all is fine
And I could cry
From all the bends and breaks that I
Took this time
When happiness is based on lies
It's so hard its too hard to tell the truth
What do you see
When you look at me
Do you take me for a fool
This fool is through
This fool is through
This fool is through
What do you see
When you look at me
Do you take me for a fool
What do you see
When you look at me
Do you take me for a fool
It says hold on and take this ride
And set aside
Memories of all the times
When you collide
Then you'll leave me here to die
Here's the things I meant
But never said
Jess: Hey, that last song was called by The Starting Line and it's called "This Ride." Up next, we're gonna play a song by The All-American Rejects called "Too Far Gone."
I should warn you
Things you're feeling, aren't normal now.
Think you need me
It's not easy, let you go some how.
Now we're too far gone,
Hope is such a waste
Every breath you take you give
Me the burdens bitter taste
You promise that you'd stay
You say you want to go
Your lips provide a shelter for the
Things that I don't know
Please speak slowly
My heart is learning
Teach me heart-ache,
Stop this burning now.
Wishful thinking
Patience shrinking, bliss is far away
North is calling
Now I'm falling, at your feet please stay
(Song fades out and the crowd cheers loudly.)
Storming through the party like my name was El ninio
When I'm handgun out drinking in the back of an El camino
As a kid, I was a skid and no one knew me by name.
I trashed my own house party cause no body came.
I know I'm not the one you thought you knew back in high school
Never going, never showing up when we had to.
attention that we crave don't tell us to behave,
I'm sick of always hearing act your age.
I don't want to waste my time
become another casualty of society.
I'll never fall in line
Become another victim of your conformity
And back down.
Because you don't
Know us at all we laugh when old people fall.
But what would you expect with a conscience so small.
Heavy metal and mullets it's how we were raised.
Maiden and priest were the gods that we praised
Cause we like having fun at other peoples expense and,
Cutting people down is just a minor offence then,
It's none of your concern, I guess I'll never learn.
I'm sick of being told to wait my turn.
I don't want to waste my time
become another casualty of society.
I'll never fall in line
Become another victim of your conformity
And back down.
Don't count on me, to let you know when.
Don't count on me, I'll do it again.
Don't count on me, it's the point you're missing.
Don't count on me, cause I'm not listening.
Well I'm a no goodnick lower middle class brat,
Back packed and I don't give a shit about nothing.
You be standing on the corner talking all that kufuffin.
But you don't make sense from all the gas you be huffing.
Then if the egg don't stain you'll be ringing off the hook,
You're on the hit list wanted in the telephone book.
I like songs with distortion, to drink in proportion.
The dentist said my mom should have had an abortion.
I don't want to waste my time
become another casualty of society.
I'll never fall in line
Become another victim of your conformity
And back down.
Waste my time with them
Casualty of society.
Waste my time again,
Victim of your conformity
And back down.
(Crowd cheers)
Past the road to your house
That you never called home
Where they turned out your lights
Though they say you'll never know
I remember running through the wet grass
And falling a step behind
Both of us never tiring
Desperately wanting
When they pumped out your guts
And filled you full of those pills
You were never quite right
Deserving all the chills
They say the worst is over
Kicked it over and ran
Then they ask what went wrong
When they turn you on again
They turn you on again.
I remember running through the wet grass
And falling a step behind
Both of us never tiring
Desperately wanting
Kick them right in the face
Make them wish they weren't born
And if they bring up your name
Well they'll say you won the war
Baby burst in the world
Never given a chance
Then they ask what went wrong
When you never had it right
Oh the letters have dropped off
Though they say you got them all
I finally figured out some things you'll never know
Take back your life and let me inside
We'll find the door if you care to anymore
I remember running through the wet grass
And falling a step behind
Both of us never tiring
Desperately wanting.
Jess: That last song was called "Desperately Wanting" by Better Than Ezra and the one before it was "Fat Lip" by Sum 41. That about wraps up our show, but first before we go, I've got one thing that I wanted to play. I'll be doing this alone and it's a song that I wrote for my girlfriend. She's sitting up there at the bar, this one's for you Rory.
I never knew what you meant to me
Till the day I heard you were leaving
And now I wait for the day when you come back
I'm never gonna let you go again.
You were the one that helped me
You were the one I could trust
You were the one I went to
You were the one I missed too much
So now I'm gonna go
I'm gonna chase you
I'm gonna risk it all
Just to be able to hold you
I played a twisted game
I'd created it to ensure my own pain
You followed my every move
And you were still the one
You were the one that helped me
You were the one I could trust
You were the one I went to
You were the one I missed too much
So now I'm gonna go
I'm gonna chase you
I'm gonna risk it all
Just to be able to hold you
I never knew what you meant to me
Till the day I heard you were leaving
And now I wait for the day when you come back
I'm never gonna let you go again.
(Jess had finished the song and Rory was crying. Jess had watched her the whole time and she knew he was singing directly to her. All eyes are on Rory and she breaks into the biggest smile ever.)
Jess: I love you Ror.
Rory: (mouthing) I love you too.
THE END
(again) hehe
(A/N: Thanks to everyone who's read my story. This was the fic I started out on. I'm really proud that I finally finished it. By the way, "Gonna Go" is a song that I wrote myself. Originally it was about a guy I know, but I changed it a bit so it'd fit. Also, I wanna apologize for the spacing in the songs, it's a bit messed up. Anyway . . . Please read and review. I love to hear what you guys think! ~Amanda)