Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter and Co. J.K. Rowling does.
Summary: After one very eventful night ten years ago, Voldemort was destroyed and Harry disappeared. Where did he go? What happened that night? Only one man knows the answer: a teacher named James, aka Harry. The ironic part: Ron and Hermione are in the same city. Will they ever come face to face?
Note: Okay, you guys have seen Lord of the Rings, right? The movie, I mean. Well, I wrote such a long flashback that I decided to do like the Lord of the Rings people did, and release it in more than one part. I do have all of it written, so, I have finally decided (yes, I did spend five days debating whether or not to release it in two parts or one) that I will put the first part up now, and the second part up tomorrow, same time. So, if you would like to here where the pills came from, come back tomorrow. For nice Draco and Harry parts, read now.
Chapter 8: Mirrors and Rantings
-----------------
It was in the sixth year when they had become friends.
Harry and Draco.
And it was the strangest of friendships.
It had seemed as if for all the time that they had hated each other, they never had come to understand why.
When Harry was around Draco, it was a show. He was a Gryffindor, Draco was a Slytherin. Harry was the archenemy of Voldemort, and Draco's entire family was embedded in Voldemort's inner circle. Harry acted out the part of the famous rags to riches boy, standing up for what was right; Draco acted out the part of the rich spoiled brat who crushed those weaker than him.
But that's exactly what it was-- an act, a show.
In truth, they actually had a lot in common. They were both striving to live up to expectations, they were both trying to accomplish was right, they were both trying to find out who they were amid all the webs of what they were.
And it took six years for them to actually get to know each other.
Of course, it wasn't on purpose.
And it the friendship existed in secret - even to themselves - for a while.
Actually, the friendship began with complaints and rants.
----(flashback)----
Harry snuck out of his dormitory, which was actually quite difficult on account of the aurors, and, Mauderer's Map in hand, set off down the corridor.
Earlier that day, Hagrid had tipped them off that the Mirror of Erised was in Hogwarts, and Harry was determined to find it again.
He needed to look at his parents, and be reminded of who he was. It was like a magnet, pulling at him. Harry couldn't help himself. He had to see his parents.
Harry was under his Invisibility Cloak and quietly opening every door he passed.
He knew it was a stupid thing to do, when the doors could easily creak, or even begin to laugh or shout, and sneaking around like this was a sure-fire way to get caught, especially with the tightened security. But all these doubts did not hinder him. The prospect of seeing his mother and father was too big of an urge to resist.
And then, ahead, he saw the door to the room he had visited so often in first year. The room that used to contain the mirror. Could that room be being used once again for the same purpose?
Harry walked slowly to the door, quietly turned the handle and walked in.
And there in the corner, was a mirror shaped object, a white sheet thrown over it.
Harry crept down the two stone steps walked around a fallen chair and stepped over an old glove, eyes locked on the shape of the mirror.
The dust in the room had been recently disturbed, and Harry was careful to stay in the path without dust, in order to avoid making footprints.
He walked up to the mirror-shape, standing in the darkest corner. Harry slowly pulled the sheet from the object. It fell in one simple, silent motion, and indeed, under it was the Mirror of Erised.
Harry was giddy with excitement.
He threw off his cloak and quietly sat down in front of the mirror, staring first at his reflection, and the looking up and behind his reflection.
There were his parents.
They hadn't aged on bit. His mother was still waving, his father still smiling. The whole Potter side was behind James, and the Evens side behind Lily. Harry could even make out Petunia way in the corner.
Harry breathed a bit easier, knowing that his deepest desire was still to see his family, and not to take over the world or something crazy like that.
He sat there, staring, for what must have been hours, until a noise suddenly startled him.
Quick as a rabbit, Harry grabbed his cloak and dashed behind the mirror, crouched in a triangle of two stone walls and the back of the mirror.
"You fool! What is the matter with you?" asked an angry voice on the other side of the room. Luckily, the person sounded too angry to notice anything usual around him.
"I--I--" came a shaken voice.
"You what? You made a mockery of yourself? You've ashamed me? You've royally pissed off the Dark Lord? Because that's what it looked like."
Harry heard the sound of a punch and a fall.
"Look at you! You're pitiful, lying there on the ground. What were you thinking? Do you know who you are? Do you know what your destiny is? Why throw that all away because of stupidity. You are a disgrace to the Malfoy name," spat the voice.
The person on the ground gave a soft whimper.
"You are going to go back next week. There will be another meeting, and I will be here at eight o'clock with another of Snape's portkeys. You will obey me and the Dark Lord. You will get the Dark Mark. Understand?"
A soft, defeated whisper of yes came from the boy who Harry assumed was Draco Malfoy.
"Good," said the man, "I'll be here next week, same time, and you will be here to meet me."
The man picked up something from the ground, whispered a spell, and was gone.
Malfoy groaned and sat up. And then it was quiet.
It was deathly silent for so long, that Harry thought that Malfoy must have left the room. It didn't make sense to Harry, because he would have heard the door open or some other noise, but as he strained his ears, he couldn't hear a thing.
So Harry slowly stepped out from his hiding spot and took a few steps.
And there was Malfoy on the opposite side of the room near the door, sitting against the stone wall, head leaned back, eyes closed.
Harry tried to jump back into his hiding spot, but he fell down and knocked over a desk in the process.
The noise was sudden and deafening.
"Who's there?" whispered Malfoy.
Harry mentally slapped himself on the head. Stupid...you have an invisibility cloak, use it! He quickly draped the cloak over him and stood up.
Malfoy looked around, glanced at the fallen desk, and then closed his eyes again.
Harry quietly walked past him.
He wouldn't have been able to see it up close, but now that Harry looked at Malfoy, he realized the Malfoy was a complete mess. And appeared to be in a lot of pain.
Malfoy's hair and clothes were messy and wrinkled - some of his robe was torn - and it was easy to see patches of dirt all over him. He had a black eye forming and a slightly bleeding cut on his cheek.
But it wasn't just that. There was something unnerving to Harry at seeing Malfoy look so defeated. The normally proud and confident boy was now crumpled and tired, and looking for all the world as if someone had taken all his dignity and ran with it.
Harry had the feeling that he was spying on something forbidden. He was looking at his enemy, who never let himself look the least bit surprised or upset at anything, and now was living one of his most degrading moments.
Harry took a few more steps to try and get away from this situation, and to pretend as soon as possible that it hadn't ever happened, but his conscience got the better of him.
Look at him, his conscience said, He's injured, and has just gotten back from what was obviously the Dark Mark ceremony, and he didn't get the Dark Mark, which means that he probably got the Crucio curse put on him.
But he's Malfoy...
There must be some reason he didn't get the Dark Mark. He's obviously got some sort of good side --
No way, not Malfoy.
Harry was rooted to the spot as his internal debate went on.
But at this time of war, insisted his conscience, The good side should take who they can get. It would not feel good to know that there was a chance to have another person against Voldemort, especially a person who could grow up to be powerful and destructive, and the "great Harry Potter" blew it.
But he's a Malfoy...
And what does that mean? What is so hateful about him? Now that he doesn't strongly support Death Eaters and the Dark Mark, he may not support Voldemort, which means that the only reason for hating him is gone.
No, he's a spoiled brat.
That can be excused. Look at his father, his family, his home life. You would end up like that, too.
Well, I guess it would be hard to open the door without him noticing something...
And Hermione has been teaching you those healing spells.
Fine, but I'm just going to talk to him...civilly, I promise.
And with that Harry pulled off his cloak.
Malfoy still had his eyes closed.
I hope he's not dead...
Harry coughed a bit to become noticed.
Malfoy's eyes wearily opened. He looked at Harry with a dull surprise.
"Potter, what are you doing here?"
"Um, nothing. You?" Harry didn't quite know how to start a conversation with the boy in front off him with out yelling a whole lot.
"I am having a wild party. C'mon Potter, what does it look like?"
"Oh. Sorry." That was a first...a willingly made apology to Malfoy. "So, I over heard that you went to a Dark Mark ceremony."
"Well done, Potter, you've cracked the case. A portkey was illegally set up for this room, so me and my father could go to a reception and have tea with the Dark Lord. Now is the part where the detective-hero, you, hauls the culprit, me, up to the headmaster's office."
"Look, Malfoy, I was just trying to be civil--"
"Well, you've chosen an excellent time to have a bonding session. Here, first I'll tell you about my cold-as-ice father and how I'm now on the Dark Lord's pissed-off list, and then you can tell me about how wonderful it is to have friends and fame and glory."
"But--"
"Just go away and leave me alone."
Harry turned to leave, but curiosity got the better of him and he decided one question wouldn't harm anything.
"Um, Malfoy, why didn't you get the Dark Mark?"
"So you 'overheard' that too?" Malfoy was getting more and more cynical and bitter.
"Look, what's your business is your business. That was a rude question, I didn't mean it. I'll leave now."
"Didn't mean it? Of course you meant it. You want to know why the guy who has been gloating for the past six years at being on the Dark Lord's side, finally had his chance to join it and said no. You want to know why? I'll tell you. Because I finally saw what I wanted to be, and I didn't want it anymore. Go ahead, say it. I know you want to. 'I told you so,' that's what you want to say, isn't it?"
Harry shook his head no.
Malfoy laughed a bit, a hollow laugh with no mirth. "Isn't it strange, Potter," Malfoy said, more talking to himself than Harry, "That I finally had my chance to prove myself to be one of the Dark Lord's most trusted drones, and I completely botched it. I mean, even when I do get the Dark Mark next week, the Dark Lord still won't trust me because of tonight."
"So you are going to get the Mark next week?"
"Not willingly," Malfoy ground out.
"You know, I could get those wounds healed in about a second."
"I don't need your charity. Besides, it was the Crucio curse, and you won't know how to heal that."
Harry rolled his eyes. But then again, he wouldn't wish for Malfoy to heal him if he were in this situation.
Oh well. Harry conspicuously pointed his wand at Malfoy and whispered a spell that Hermione had taught him not two days ago to help heal the after-effects of the Crucio curse.
Malfoy instantly started to look a bit healthier.
"You know, you really are a sneaky bastard," said Malfoy.
"What?" asked Harry, feigning innocence.
"Oh, shut up," Malfoy climbed to his feet and looked at Harry. "Thanks, though."
There was a very awkward silence.
"I'll be going now," said Harry.
"Yeah."
They both left the room in silence, having come to some unspoken agreement to never ever mention this meeting or its contents to anyone.
The next day Malfoy and Harry acted as if nothing happened.
In fact, they didn't even act. They convinced themselves nothing happened.
Everything was normal.
That night Harry once again stole out to the room with the Mirror of Erised, and spent another sleepless night being with his parents.
It continued in this was for three days. Harry was getting no sleep, and Hermione and Ron became worried. They assumed that Harry was having his Voldemort dreams and started to ask questions.
Harry didn't want to share this with them, though. For some unexplainable reason, he did not want his best friends knowing about the Mirror. He remembered when he showed Ron the Mirror of Erised in the first year, and how he did not see Harry's parents, but his own deepest desire, and Ron couldn't stay away. Just like Harry, Ron wanted to sit in front of the mirror for hours.
I'm probably just being selfish, thought Harry.
He went back again on the fourth night, to look at his parents.
It was some while after unclothing the mirror and seating himself down in front of it that he heard a cough in the shadows behind him.
He turned around and glared at the shadows, trying to see who could be there.
Cough, cough, hack, hack, wheeze.
"Alright -- (cough)-- I can't -- (wheeze) -- take it anymore!" From behind a desk Malfoy stumbled out, coughing and wiping dust off his sleeves.
"What are you doing here?" asked Harry, angrily.
"No, -- (cough) -- the better question is: What is the Dark Lord's prime target doing sneaking out -- (cough) -- for almost four days now, just to sit in front of a mirror the whole night?"
"You've been watching me?"
"Yeah, and from what I've seen, you've got one heck of an ego, Potter."
"You don't even know what this is. And you still haven't fully answered my question. Why have you been watching me?"
"I'll make a deal with you. I'll tell you why I am here, and you settle my curiosity by telling me what the heck you're doing."
"Okay...deal."
"I've been here watching you because I wanted to know why you were in this room that night that I and my father were here."
"Why didn't you just ask me?"
"One, because there is a reason I'm in Slytherin instead of Gryffindor, and two, you probably wouldn't have answered my question. Now you have to answer it."
"You wouldn't care."
"Look, Potter, we made a deal."
"I'm looking in a mirror."
Draco looked skeptical and rather peeved.
Harry rolled his eyes. "Fine. This is a mirror that shows a person's deepest desire."
"And?"
"And it is the only way I can see my parents and me in the same place."
"I don't follow. I thought your parents were dead, Potter."
Harry winced. Malfoy was still the same Malfoy. "Think. Hard. Deepest desires... my family. Get it?"
Malfoy raised one eyebrow. "Really?"
"Yes."
"And you've been coming here night after night staring in the mirror because it shows your parents and family with you, as you are now, correct?"
"Yes."
"That's rather obsessive."
"You wouldn't understand," Harry snapped back, "All I have ever wanted was a family. Sure, every summer I go home to my Aunt's house, but they are not family. I've just got a well-protected house with three of the biggest muggles on the face of the planet. Do you know what they did to me after the first year?" Harry was getting rather agitated, and Malfoy took a step back in surprise at the sudden out burst and pouring of emotion, "They locked me in my room, locked away my wand, broom and books, put bars on my window -- bars, and treated me like slave labor. How about after fifth year? Did they care that I was almost killed? That I was tortured beyond all belief? That I was probably clinically depressed that whole summer? Family is people who love and care about you, and I don't have that. But you just don't understand."
"Me? Not understand?" it was Malfoy's turn to become angry, "How can you say that? You've seen my father, the way he treats me. He doesn't care a fig if I dropped dead this moment or turned into a beetle. In fact, he would probably step on me himself if I didturn into a beetle. All he cares about is if I 'live up to the Malfoy name' or not. I don't even want to become a Death Eater. You say a family is people who love and care about you. You do have that. You have friends. You have families of friends. Heck, the whole bloody world loves you!"
"You don't want to become a Death Eater?"
Suddenly the boys heard a voice coming closer.
"Quick, Malfoy, under here!" Harry motioned Malfoy to go under the invisibility cloak with him to hide. Malfoy did as instructed.
They moved towards the wall and tried to make as little noise as possible.
Filch came into the room holding his lantern high.
He looked about and growled a bit, but then turned and left.
Harry and Malfoy were holding their breaths.
Finally, Harry pulled the cloak off of them.
"Filch is loosing his touch," commented Malfoy.
"He hasn't had much sneaking around since the school has brought in the Aurors," said Harry.
"Definitely."
"Look, I'm being selfish" said Harry. "I know I'm not the only one in the world who has lost his parents. I just want some sort of family, I guess, very badly right now."
Malfoy snickered. "Me and you, we are some piece of work."
Harry tilted his head, trying to figure out where Malfoy was going with that comment.
"We hate each other so much, but we end up here in the same room, having a civil conversation. I think we're just too tired to start fighting, but I don't know. Actually, I think I've just had an epiphany, due to how tired I am. I think you and me are very similar. You have no family, but most people love you. I have a family, but nobody loves me."
Harry didn't know what to make of Malfoy's "epiphany." So he didn't say anything.
Malfoy walked and stood in front of the mirror. "Ha!" he said, looking at his reflection, "We even have the same deepest desire. Would you look at this. The mirror shows me with my family around me, and my father is smiling proudly at me. Proof that I am right."
"I never argued with you," said Harry darkly.
"Ah, but I can see you disagree with me." Malfoy seemed to be energized with his new idea. "Okay, go ahead and tell me how we are not alike."
Harry glared at Malfoy, not liking this sudden realization he was having. "Simple. You have light blond hair, I have dark black hair."
Malfoy rolled his eyes. "That's just shallow. Come on, think of something meaningful."
"I think you just want to get in an argument."
"No. I'm challenging you. Think of something that ruins my argument. Go on."
"Fine. I've got one. You are not expected to save the world. Ooh, here's another one. You don't have a crazed homicidal maniac obsessed with killing you. How about this one: your very life does not put your friends in danger."
"I have got parallels to all your rants. One, I am expected to become a Death Eater and help win the war, so in a way I am expected to save the world, from muggles. Two, my father is a crazed homicidal maniac, and he will want to kill me when I don't show up next Tuesday. And three, I don't have any friends, so my life could put them in danger, I just don't have proof."
"So you are not going to become a Death Eater?"
"You're catching on, Potter, that's another similarity. We both don't want to become Death Eaters."
"Cut that out," said Harry irritably, "Answer my question. Do you support Voldemort?"
There was silence. Malfoy seemed slightly surprised to hear the name Voldemort.
"Why should I tell you?" Malfoy asked arrogantly. The mood change between the momentarily excited Malfoy to the once again arrogant Malfoy was sharp, a complete turn-around.
"Because I can help you get out of becoming a Death Eater, and get on the good side to fight the war. So you won't get stuck in the middle, or on the wrong side."
For a split second Malfoy looked hopeful, but it passed.
"It wouldn't work," he said darkly, "My father is determined. You can't do anything."
"Well, would you please tell me why you don't want to become a Death Eater?" said Harry exasperatedly.
"You wouldn't understand. You see things in black and white, good and bad. Decisions are easy for you. Don't become a Death Eater because the Dark Lord is your archenemy and embodies pure evil. Do join Dumbledore and the Aurors because you need to avenge your parents. Every decision is easy for you. But me, I have a family who has had a long line of being involved with all sorts of Dark Arts. In fact, I think the last person who was opposed to the Dark Arts leader at that time was disowned and killed by his own family. I can't just 'break away.' And if I do-- if-- then I will probably have to kill some of my own family members. It's not as easy as 'just join the other side,' Potter."
"Oh," said Harry profoundly.
"And the only reason I don't want to become a Death Eater is because I don't want to be a slave to someone. I saw the other Death Eaters at that ceremony. They tremble at the mention of the Dark Lord's name. They cowered at his presence. They accept his beatings and thrashings like guilty dogs. Heck, they even call him Master. It's revolting. You don't know what it's like until you've been there."
"Um, Malfoy?" interrupted Harry, "I have."
"What?"
"I have been there. Remember? Fourth year? Voldemort was resurrected? Cedric died? Any of this ring a bell?"
"Yeah, sure. I meant in general, not just you. Not many people can believe it until they have been there. Better?"
"Yeah, whatever. Go on."
"With what?"
"Why you don't want to be a Death Eater. You were saying that they were revolting."
"Oh, yeah. I mean, I want to be my own person. Have my own will. And even though I do not agree with letting all the muggles mix with us, as some people on your side want, I do not think killing off every wizard who has muggle blood in him is a good idea. So while I may not agree with Dumbledore's side, I disagree more with the Dark Lord's side, so the only option would be against the Dark Lord. I think it's a good idea, making the wizarding race clean and pure, but it just can't be done. If he wanted to start his own little 'Pure Wizards Only Club,' I wouldn't object, but the whole 'let me-- I mean us-- take over the world' sort of thing, it just doesn't make sense. You can't kill all the wizards with muggle blood. It's gross and wouldn't effectively 'cleanse' the race."
Harry noticed that Malfoy seemed to once again be talking more to himself than to Harry.
"I mean, the man's a walking oxymoron," Malfoy went on, "He yells at his followers to kill the mudbloods, but he himself has muggle blood in him. His own mother, I think. Neville deserves more of a life than he does, according to his doctrine. I mean, I just don't want to be in that situation. Ever. Once is enough for me. All the cemeteries and blood and darkness and torture-- But I guess you already know all about that." Malfoy gave Harry a wry smile. "Don't you?"
"Yes."
"Say, just how many times have you come face to face with the Dark Lord?"
"Voldemort?"
Malfoy flinched. "Yes, who else?"
"Um, I think five times. But the second time it was sort of half his face, and the third time it was a past face, and the fourth time it was to re-create his face, and the fifth time, well, the face just starts getting uglier and uglier."
"How can you joke about that? Seeing just a glimpse of him was creepy enough. How is that funny?"
"I don't know. Maybe I'm developing a twisted sense of humor."
Malfoy slipped into thinking and the room was quiet for several minutes.
"Alright, Potter," he started out fiercely, after gathering his thoughts, "Listen to me."
Harry was surprised yet again by his sudden change of demeanor.
"I don't want to repeating another word of any of our conversations, rants, whatever that we have in this room, out of this room. Everything we say here stays here. Got it?"
"Uh, sure."
"Good."
There was silence.
"And?" prompted Harry, after a while.
"I'm going to kill myself for what I'm about to ask," muttered Malfoy. And then, as if he was gathering his courage, he said, "You know, it's not really just because I wanted to know what you were doing as to why I followed you in here. And I've been meaning to ask you for some time now," he suddenly became very interested in his feet, "Willyouhelpmejoinyourside? I mean," he hurriedly went on, "Not because I agree with what you're fighting for, but because I'll do anything not to become a slave to that snake."
Harry grinned. Oh, he heard Malfoy clearly, all right. But this was just too good to pass up.
"I don't think I quite heard you right, Malfoy, what was that you said?"
"I said," ground out Malfoy, with his teeth clenched, "I need your help."
"That's what I thought. How do I know you are not some secret spy, or something?"
Malfoy looked surprised, as if he didn't think that Harry would not say yes immediately. "I-- I--, I guess you don't know." The boy looked helpless and lost.
Harry burst out laughing. He laughed so hard, tears ran down his cheeks.
Malfoy's expression turned from helpless to relieved to very, very angry in about two seconds.
"It's just- (snort) just so- (laugh) funny!" Harry was in hysterics.
"If you value your life, Potter, you will shut up this instant."
Harry's laughs calmed down into giggles, as he tried to get a grip on himself.
"I'm so- (giggle) sorry, but, that expression on your face was so (laugh) priceless!"
Harry was once again laughing hysterically.
Malfoy rolled his eyes. "I come to you for help, and this is what I get. A laughing lunatic!" In truth, Malfoy was relieved that Harry was laughing instead of flat out saying no, but his pride was pretty badly hurt, after first going to Harry for help, of all things, and then getting laughed at.
Harry calmed down again. "Look, Malfoy, I've got to tell you, (chuckle) I'm carrying a sneak-o-scope in my pocket, and it hasn't gone off once tonight. Of course I'll help you not to become a Death Eater. I just wanted to give you an answer you didn't expect. "
"That was stupid." Malfoy was understandably bitter. "And why are you carrying a sneak-o-scope in your pajamas?"
Harry sobered up. "I always keep it by my bed."
"You are paranoid."
"No, I just have a psycho snake villain trying very hard to kill me."
"You're nutty."
"Do you want my help or not?"
"Yes, I do."
"Okay, then we will meet here tomorrow at midnight. I'll try to think of a plan to get you out of your ceremony on Tuesday."
"Fine. And remember, mum's the word about you speaking to me."
"Got it."
Harry and Draco left the room quietly to go back to their houses and spend what was left of the night sleeping.
You guys who reviewed are the best! (well, everyone who reads my story is on my A-list) But the readers who reviewed get lots and lots of brownie points...you guys are awesome!
Prongsjr
Hyper Princess
Nicky
Jorj Car'Das
Arizosa
TheRedFeatheryPlug
Mel-Mel
Chochang913
Shichan Goddess
Siriusblack033
Thank you so much for reviewing!
Love you all,
Adah