Tangled
By Crush
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters of Weiss Kreuz.
Author's Note: Yaoi SchuxNagi
"But I fear I have nothing to give
I have so much to lose here in this lonely place
Tangled up in your embrace
There's nothing I'd like better than to fall."
Sarah McLaughlan – "Fear (lunasol mix)"
I never quite knew what to say to you. There was always this shadow over what I did say to you. You were so much better than I was. You're smart, and beautiful and older. You have this air about you that makes you stand out from the crowd. You're so, so beautiful. You're features are sharp and indescribable. Ugly on anyone other than you.
I remember the first time you wrapped your arms around me, I thought that maybe, for a mere second, that you might return my feelings. That we could be together for a little while…that maybe they could be around me for a little while longer. But of course your love lied deep inside your powers. You loved to control people, to play with them. You didn't want to love them; you wanted to use them.
That was the main difference between you and I, I saw my powers as a curse. You lived for yours. I hid in the darkness, mashing my feelings into my brain and hiding them from your roving one. You knew what I was thinking constantly, it was almost impossible to keep it from you. Somehow I did it.
Now I'm sitting in front of you.
And I'm telling you all of this. I want to scream or cry or run…I want to make you speak. Anything that would make you tell me what you are thinking. Feeling. Believing. Anything that would make your rejection swift and painless. Like a Band-Aid. You tear it off, and it's gone. But the indent isn't. That takes a little more time.
Instead, you don't talk. You just sit there with a small smile over your features. I hope you know I don't think it's fair that you can hear everything I'm thinking and I don't know a damn thing you are. Just so you know. I'm spilling my heart out and all I know is that you have that goddamned smirk on your face.
Your beautiful face.
Go to hell, Schuldig.
Now, chibi, is that any way to speak to your lover?
What? What are you talking about? You couldn't possibly be implying that maybe…that you like me too?
Gods, you are a dense one.
Why? What's going on? You don't like people. You like to fuck with people. This was a grand mistake coming here. I'll just go and we'll never talk about this again okay? But please, God, stop playing with me like this. It's not fair.
I'm not playing with you, Nagi.
You lean in and kiss me gently. I feel both your arms wrap around me ever so tenderly. You pull me closer, you feel hot and urgent and violent and sweet all at once. Emotions swirl, I don't know what I am feeling or thinking… I never want to move again. Another difference between us, you see what you want and you take it. I try to rationalize it.
I blame the kiss on a lapse of control on your part. You don't really want to be with me. Why would you? I'm some fucked up fifteen year old that controls things with his mind. I'm a mutant. I could be an X-Men. I don't have any friends. I look like I'm nine. What possibly could you see?
You are beautiful.
I want to cry at these words… They are so kind. You can't possibly mean them.
You think too much, Nagi.
I know. It's complicated, Schu. Are you sure this is what you want? Me? I mean you could have anyone. How about Brad? He's kinda sexy.
Don't tell me you have a great love for Farfarello too?
God no. Farf gives me nightmares. Cool guy…very scary. I don't love Brad… I love you. It's just…What possibly do I have to offer to you that's so great? I'm just some dumb kid.
You aren't some dumb kid. Are ya sure you don't like Brad…? I mean the whole stick up his ass thing could really appeal to some people.
You honestly sicken me sometimes. I feel like shuddering. Could you like wrap your arms a little tighter and remove that image from my mind. I said remove it…Schuldig, do you want the roof to fall on you during the night?
If it falls on my head it would fall on yours, chibi.
I smile at the thought. Yeah, I guess it would.
"But I fear I have nothing to give
I have so much to lose here in this lonely place
Tangled up in your embrace
I fear I have nothing to give."
~Owari.