Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter and Co. J.K. Rowling does.

Summary: After one very eventful night ten years ago, Voldemort was destroyed and Harry disappeared. Where did he go? What happened that night? Only one man knows the answer: a teacher named James, aka Harry. This big question is, now, what are his former friends plotting?

Author's note: This is a logical explanation for this. I was not focusing on my work so I told myself that I could not use the computer except for important e-mail until the New Year. It was supposed to remove distraction, which it did, but I cheated slightly and wrote more of this story down on paper. So all I had to do was type it up, and now it is posted (and good news, I am more focused and on top of my work). Not like most people care this much about my personal life, but I'm just giving you all a heads up. (And no, I did not die or move to Antarctica, although I was worried some of you might think so).

Chapter 21: Bathroom Confrontations and a Snake

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Jacob was nervous. And with good reason. He had decided to tell James about Natalie getting into Toronto School of Magic. He reasoned that right before his wedding was the best time to tell James because James would have to show up at the wedding to preserve face, and therefore couldn't be too mad with Jacob (at least publicly). And Jacob was pretty sure James wouldn't get too mad at a man on his wedding day. Also, Jacob would be on a honeymoon with Emma for a while, so during that time James would have time to cool down, if he was angry. Jacob had the unfortunate case of receiving a good portion of James' anger once a year, and that was enough for him.

This plan sounded good in Jacob's mind, but somehow his stomach didn't agree.

But then again, that could be because he was about to get married.

Jacob ran over and over the game plan in his mind. All he would need to do was follow James into a private place, e.g. a corner, his car, anywhere quiet, and tell him. But Jacob couldn't figure out how to put the information to James.

He was angry with James for hiding all this. So he could make the subject a painful realization for James.

But then again, Jacob understood that James had tried to tell everyone about being a wizard, and no one had believed him. So maybe he would try to be sympathetic and let James know that he had someone to share the secret with.

But Jacob was still annoyed at James for being so secretive. Why didn't he try harder to persuade everyone? Why didn't he show magic?

Should he be bitter? Or sympathetic? Angry? Or understanding? Jacob was getting a headache from bouncing the choices around in his mind. He looked forward to just getting the whole thing over with.

Jacob and Emma were getting married in a park that often held weddings. The reception would be in the park as well. It would be a casual barbeque and picnic. Emma really didn't want a fancy wedding, so they had decided on this.

Jacob arrived at the park right when Emma, Sarah, and Henry arrived. Emma had chosen Sarah as her bridesmaid and Jacob had chosen his brother-in-law Henry as his best man.

Jacob had come wearing a simple black suit, and Emma came wearing a simple white dress that was cut neatly and fitted nicely. The other two were in nice clothes, a skirt and blouse for Sarah and a suit for Henry. The guests were requested to wear the same type of decent wear.

Emma's family had a close friend who was a photographer, and he had offered to take pictures for the wedding. Mr. and Mrs. Cooke had already arrived, and so had Emma's parents, Mr. and Mrs. Taylor. Mary and Natalie had come with Henry. Everyone who was in the wedding posed for pictures for about half an hour, until the guests started to arrive.

Peter was one of the first to get there.

"So, Jacob, you're leaving the bachelor life, eh?" he said cheerfully.

"I guess so," Jacob answered.

"And I get him all to myself!" cried Emma, giving Jacob a hug from behind.

After the photographer finished taking the last of his pictures, which were of Sarah and Henry, Sarah came over to say hello.

"Peter! Isn't it wonderful that Jacob and Emma are finally getting married?" she said enthusiastically. "Isn't it wonderful?"

"Nice to see you too, Sarah," answered Peter smiling. "And yes it is wonderful."

"I think she was trying to hint at something," whispered Emma loudly. "And I don't think you picked up on it."

Peter smiled rather sheepishly at Sarah and Emma giggled softly.

"Have any of you seen James?" asked Jacob, changing the subject.

"No, not really," answered Peter. "I really don't know where he could be."

A new group of guests came, and Jacob and Emma had to leave to greet them. Sarah and Peter took their seats on the open lawn and talked amiably.

It was a while before Jacob saw James arrive. James gave a quick friendly wave to Jacob and Emma, and, seeing that they were detained with relatives, he walked over to where Peter and Sarah were talking. Jacob could see him chatting and laughing, and then watched as he excused himself and headed for the bathrooms that were located in a small building close by.

"Excuse me, Uncle Lou, but I'm just going to make one last trip to the men's room," Jacob said.

"Don't want to have to go during the ceremony, that's for sure!" The uncle gave a brisk laugh and then turned to talk to Emma.

Jacob headed for the bathroom, nodding at the people saying hello to him, stopping for a quick chat if necessary, but always headed forward towards the building.

Jacob pressed his ear to the door to make sure someone was in there (hopefully James, if he had guessed correctly). There was a little over half an hour before the ceremony started, which gave Jacob plenty of time to talk to James and still greet several guests.

He heard some movement coming from inside, the sound of hands washing. Sensing that there was very little time before James would come out, Jacob took a deep breath and opened the door.

"James! Fancy meeting you here," Jacob said happily, upon seeing that it was indeed James in the bathroom, and only James.

"How are you doing?" asked James.

"Oh fine. I saw you arrive."

"Yeah. I just waved because I saw you were rather preoccupied."

"Relatives. You know the type," explained Jacob casually.

There was quiet pause as James tried to figure out if he really did know "the type" (the word "relatives" to him did not usually recall happy memories), and as Jacob realized that he had read somewhere that Harry Potter had only an unfriendly aunt, uncle, and cousin, and would in actuality not know "the type."

Ah, thought Jacob, on considering the relatives point, Here is the perfect spot to start the conversation.

"But you wouldn't have that many relatives, would you?" asked Jacob. "I mean, ones that you like."

James raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. He didn't think it safe to say anything.

"It's not an unknown fact," persisted Jacob.

"Jacob," said James, "It may be pre-wedding nerves, but you are not making much sense."

Jacob decided to start over.

"Didn't you say two months ago that your name was Harry Potter?"

James' eyes widened. "Yes," he answered slowly, "But I was lying, remember?"

"Yes, you were lying quite a lot," said James curtly.

James cocked his head as if in confusion and there was silence.

Oh yes, James knew what Jacob was heading towards. But he hoped that Jacob was merely bluffing and trying to guess what his past was, and didn't actually know. Besides, James did not like the direction this conversation was headed, and being silent was the best way he knew to end an unwanted discussion.

Jacob was annoyed. James did not seem to pick up on any of the hints. Oh well, Jacob thought, Might as well be blunt.

"You know, Harry, my niece got into the Toronto School of Magic" Jacob said frankly.

James took a sharp intake. Why was Jacob using his first name? It didn't sound right. He used the name too casually, too familiarly.

"What did you call me?"

"Harry. Didn't you say that that was your first name?"

"Well, yes."

"And aren't you surprised that my niece got into a school of magic?"

"Yes."

"Well, you don't sound it," said Jacob crisply, tired of James avoiding the subject.

James stood there quietly, annoying Jacob by the second with his silence. In truth, James was silently chiding himself for not looking more surprised at the "magic school" part than at the "Harry" part.

"Look," said Jacob finally, exasperated. "I know you're Harry Potter, and I just wanted to tell you that."

James gave a short laugh. "You mean, you know I'm Harry James Potterson. You accidentally said the name I made up."

"You must think I'm pretty dumb. I did not accidentally say anything."

"Okay."

"I meant it when I said that I know you're Harry Potter."

"Okay."

"Not Harry James Potterson."

"Okay."

"That's it? Okay? Would you please stop with the non-committal monosyllable answers? There getting on my nerves." Jacob felt that he had tried everything, and yet James wasn't reacting to the news. He was acting as if Jacob had told him that there was the weather was overcast.

James, although he tried very hard not to look like it, was frantic. Jacob knowing anything was definitely a bad position to be in. Still, James felt he could try one last time to throw Jacob off the scent. Even if Jacob somehow knew that there was a Harry Potter in the world, maybe he would doubt himself and think that he found the wrong person. James breathed in to calm himself.

"Frankly Jacob," said James, as coolly as possible, "I think you've gone slightly insane. You're remembering what I said a while ago, and it's confusing you."

"No," said Jacob loudly, "You're the one that's confused. I mean, come on! Even your fake name is a clear give away. Harry Potter and Harry Potterson? I bet you even kept the same middle name!"

There was a pause during which Jacob took a deep breath, counted to ten, and then started speaking very slowly and clearly. "Look, Harry, my niece got into the Toronto School of Magic. She and her parents were informed of wizarding life at the school, which included a short discussion of recent wizarding history. Natalie was enthralled with the war stories and bought a book about it. She explained some of it to me, and then lent me the book to read. The book was about a war, in which a man named Harry Potter played an important role. The book even gave a life history of the man Harry Potter, and stated that he was the most powerful wizard in centuries."

James had gone white, but nonetheless said, "Ah, but you see, you said he was the most powerful. 'Was' implies that he is dead."

"No, Harry, he is not dead," Jacob said with a triumphant smile, "Because I am looking at him."

James stared at Jacob with what looked like fright. This is not happening, this is not happening, he thought to himself.

"You see, Harry," Jacob went on, "You yourself said two months ago that your name was Harry Potter and that you were the most powerful wizard in centuries. So I just used that knowledge to my advantage. Besides, the picture of Harry Potter in the book looked remarkable like a younger version of you, Harry."

"Would you please stop calling me that?"

"What, Harry?"

"Yes." James' teeth were clenched.

"Fine, but you are going to have to explain yourself."

"You seem to know enough about me already," said James bitterly.

Jacob took a deep breath. Then he said, gently, "Look, I just wanted you to know that I now believe you. And I didn't want it to be a surprise for you when I prove it to Sarah, Emma, and Peter."

James' mood rapidly changed. "What?" he asked, frightened now. "You're going to tell them? But you can't!"

"Why not? I thought you wanted them to know."

"Nobody can know if Natalie is attending a wizarding school."

"That's dumb."

"Hello?" asked James, "Why do you think I'm not public about having been a wizard?"

"Having been?" Jacob had not thought of this. How could one not be a wizard anymore?

"Yes, having been, meaning I'm not anymore. And I'm not public about it because I don't want the wizarding world to know about me, being here."

"So you are hiding, from an entire world, in which you're famous in? That is a rather ambitious thing to do."

"Which is exactly why you cannot tell anyone. Please, Jacob, please."

"But why? What are you hiding from?" Jacob was curious. James had such a look of despair on his face, and Jacob couldn't begin to fathom why. "You're famous. People adore you. Why would you hide from a life like that?"

"You wouldn't understand," said James.

"Try me."

James was silent. Did he really want to admit to Jacob, and himself, the reason why he left?

"C'mon, make it my wedding present," said Jacob gently. "I want to understand why you seem so frightened of all this."

James sunk to the ground with his back against the wall, feeling trapped and overwhelmed with the situation. He hung his head and spoke quietly. "Nothing good came out of me being there. Everybody I touched, talked to, and looked at somehow came into trouble because of me. Too many people died because of me. I can't go back. It hurts too much. And not just mentally, but physically too."

"It hurts?"

James raised his watery eyes to Jacob's. "Do you know how hard it is to control the amount of power within me? The last person who had this much power died because of it. It takes so much effort to keep it from going haywire. And sometimes it takes over me, and I can't stop it, and it leaves me breathless and aching. And I can sense other people's magic, and what their intentions are. It's like reading people's minds. It's horrible. Every person sends out something different. It's like being in a room with thousands of people all talking at once to me. I even take pills to stop it. I cannot live with that amount of power."

"I had no idea. I'm so sorry."

James was silent from his spot on the floor.

"And you truly don't want your friends to know?" Jacob persisted.

"Not anymore. It's easier if they don't know. Please Jacob. You can't tell them. You just can't." James looked up with pleading eyes.

"You're just going to keep all this information hidden beneath that head of yours, just like that? Not care that your friends don't know anything of your younger life?"

James looked at the floor again. "Yes."

Jacob paused a moment, sighed, and said, "Fine. I won't tell anyone."

"Thank you, Jacob. Thank you."

Jacob extended his hand and helped James up.

"Though I think you should tell them," said Jacob, patting James on the shoulder and straightening his coat.

James didn't answer.

Jacob suddenly felt guilty, when he saw James looking so defeated on what was supposed to be a happy day. "I'm sorry for all the trouble this has caused you, James, but I thank you for telling me the truth. And look at the bright side," Jacob continued, trying to liven things up, "You now have someone to talk to."

James stared at Jacob with a rather sad, skeptical expression.

"Okay, okay, so you wouldn't ever want to talk about it. I won't even ask any more questions, although I have a lot. I'll erase the event from my memory. See? I've already forgotten it." Jacob started to walk around the bathroom with staring eyes and with his hands out in front of him. "My memory is completely gone," he chanted monotonously. "I have no recollection of the last ten minutes." Then Jacob put his hand on his chest and looked shocked. "Magic? There's no such thing as magic. Why, James, whatever could have given you the crazy idea that there was magic in the world? You really ought to have you head examined."

James saw the guilty smile on Jacob's face and easily picked up on Jacob's attempts to cheer him up.

"Thanks, Jacob," said James, "Thanks for not telling anyone."

"Not telling anyone what?" Jacob said with an obviously confused look. "Well," he said, loudly, "I'm off to go get hitched. See you later, James."

Jacob looked at James with a combination of apology and awkwardness. James was obviously shaken and Jacob did not feel comfortable under James' sad gaze. Jacob walked quickly out of the bathroom, both because he was running slightly late for the ceremony and because he wanted to get away from the grief he had caused James.

Jacob had not expected it to turn out like this. He had expected James to be angry at first and then to feel relieved that his friends could finally understand who he truly was. Jacob honestly thought that this would be something good, that James would be happy. But it had turned out quite the opposite.

And Jacob was rather annoyed. Why should it be a sad thing? James was treating his gifts like a burden. He was hiding from his old friends and his old world. James was acting like a coward.

Jacob walked on the grassy fields towards the ceremony area. With every footfall Jacob became more and more angry with James. Peter, Sarah, and Emma had a right to know their friend's past. It wasn't fair and James should not be hurting both himself and his friends by being so secretive.

James came out of the bathroom a few minutes later. He felt sick. He had tried every evasive maneuver, hoping that Jacob would think he had found the wrong person, but none of it had worked. And telling Jacob the truth made James feel even worse, partly because now there was someone out there who knew some truth to James' reason for leaving, and partly because James finally admitted to himself why he had left.

James made his way over to his seat next to Peter and Sarah and sat down. Jacob and Emma were greeting the last few guests and Peter and Sarah were chatting cheerfully. James just stared blankly into space.

He couldn't believe it. He couldn't believe that Jacob knew the real James. He had worked so hard to hide it. It was almost as if James couldn't live in front of Jacob because he would be blatantly lying to someone who knew the truth. It was a completely different thing to lie to people who didn't know he was lying. But now it was just... wrong.

And all Jacob would have to do is mention the name "Harry" to someone in the wizarding world, and James would be found. James couldn't remember having such a sense of vulnerability. When he was Harry, he was in some ways vulnerable to Voldemort, but he had always expected the final battle, and so could never feel vulnerable to something he knew someday would happen. It was always other people being vulnerable because of him. Other people would be put in danger, not Harry.

Harry. James. Perhaps the worst part of someone finding out his past was that he didn't know who he was anymore. Harry? Or James? And this frightened him just as much as being sucked back into the wizarding world.

When he was little, he had his identity formed for him. He was Harry Potter, famous at the age of one, to be pitied, awed, and revered. He was to avenge his parents, vanquish evil, and save the world. When he broke away from all that, he created a new identity for himself. He was James Potterson, a teacher, who had a good sense of humor, a loyal set of friends, and a quiet life. He enjoyed being around people and had a reputation for being even tempered.

But who was he now? A famous crime fighter? Or a quiet life teacher? He was absolutely unsure of how to picture himself. James, for now, he thought. Albeit a very confused one.

James was snapped out of his thoughts by the people around his standing and clapping. James followed suit, looking slightly dazed. Emma and Jacob were walking down the aisle, both smiling. The wedding was over. Jacob and Emma were married.

The reception could now begin. Already caterers had started grilling chicken and steak for the meal and salads were out on the buffet table. Several kids ran out to the field and started a game of baseball. People started milling around, chatting, and congratulating the new couple.

James saw all this happiness around him and it made him even more dejected. These people all seemed to be so sure of themselves. They all belonged where they were. They had only one life to live, not one life and a lie. They were smiling and laughing, with no thoughts of lost friends, deaths, and secrecy whirling in their heads. No feeling of fright, betrayal, and vulnerability shaking their hearts.

James gloomily headed towards a shady tree near the street. He sat down with his back against the tree and stared at the cars going by in front of him. He was not facing the reception.

He sat there, feeling as if a part of him had been ripped away and he was left to fend for himself in the world. He put his head back, against the tree, and stared up at the green branches and leaves.

Something nudged his foot. Thinking that it was a guest or a kid playing, he automatically said as he brought his head level, "I'm sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry about," answered a voice. "It was I who bumped into you. I am the sorry one, especially because your foot is rather hard and my head now hurts."

James was surprised to see a green snake by his foot looking rather harshly at the spot where he had banged his head on James' shoe.

"You can understand me?" asked James.

"No," said the snake. "It's you who understand me. I take it you're a parselmouth."

James stuttered. "Well, no-- I mean, yes-- I mean--"

"Well are you or aren't you?" asked the snake amusedly.

James quickly shrugged his shoulders. "I am, then."

"I'm glad to hear it. If you had answered no, I would have had to proclaim myself clinically insane. Imagine, being able to talk to a human! I would have been a freak of nature..."

James blinked a few times in surprise.

"I don't mean that you are a freak of nature, of course," said the snake nervously. "Being a parselmouth is... normal. It's just a language. Nothing unusual about it."

That must be why the pills don't remove it... because parseltongue is a language, James thought. "I guess so."

The snake seemed to scrutinize James for a moment. "Boy, you're a mess," the snake commented.

"And how would a grass snake like yourself know?" asked James, slightly amused by the snake's statement.

"I am not a 'grass snake', I'll have you know," said the snake defensively. "I am a Plains Garter Snake, a Thamnophis radix. Of the cinnamon brown variety."

"Oh."

"And I can tell that you're in a bad way because your clothes are wrinkled, your face is pale and drawn, and your hair is disheveled."

"My hair is always disheveled," said James.

"Well, it makes you look even more messy."

"Thanks," James said wryly.

"So what happened?" asked the snake curiously.

James hesitated. Then he reasoned that since the snake could tell no one (or no human, at least), and since the snake was nice to talk to (at least he didn't jump to conclusions like so many other people in James' life), James would tell him.

"My friend," began James, "The groom at the reception over there, found out that I was... a wizard once."

"Oh? And did he freak out? Because I really hate people who do that. I've got several bruises from places I've been stepped on by ladies who've seen me and freaked out. It hurts."

"Well, it's more like I freaked out. I don't want people knowing, you see."

"Ooh, a much more interesting explanation," said the snake enthusiastically. "Couldn't handle waving sticks around?"

"Yeah, that was it," James answered, smiling. "And that it became too much of a responsibility. And it hurt."

"I bet you're one of those people who have a lot of power," the snake said with a knowing nod of his head.

"How did you know?"

"General consensus," answered the snake. "People with small to normal amounts think magic is a great thing, but once you get into the higher areas, they don't seem to agree."

James smiled at the snake's serious way of stating this fact.

"Well," continued the snake, "Is there anymore to tell?"

James had his knees bent up in the air, and James helped the snake up to sit upon James' knees to be at his eye level.

"Well," began James, "I was once a boy named Harry Potter. Ever heard of him... me?"

The snake thought a moment. "Nope. But what are you now?"

James smiled. "I'm now James Potterson. Anyway, I was expected to save the world from a man named Voldemort. Ever heard of him?"

The snake thought some more. "Was he the guy with creepy red eyes that gave a bad name to snakes?"

"Yeah."

"I think I've heard of him. His snake made a speech long ago trying to get all snakes to ban together and support whatever his name was. She was a bad egg, that snake. Who would want to be a pet and do someone's dirty work? Anyway, go on with what sounds like a very interesting story."

"Well..." And James proceeded to tell the snake a brief, more exciting, less depressing version of the battles between him and Voldemort. He left out the hostage situation and didn't include Ron or Hermione. He kept in the exciting battles with him and Draco commanding and the parts where he had been relatively happy.

James was warming up to this some-truth-but-mostly-embellishment story. He spoke animatedly and his hands flew about. James included vocal impressions of each character. The snake laughed at all the funny parts and gasped during the action parts. He was a perfect audience.

"And then, when I reached the top of that great mountain--"

"Stop a moment, James," said the snake in an urgent whisper, "There's someone approaching. I think it's the groom."

All of the gaiety James had instantly left him and within two seconds of the snake's warning, James was sober as a tombstone.

"I see you've taken to conversing to snakes instead of people," observed Jacob.

"They're a more forgiving company," answered James dryly.

Jacob raised an eyebrow. "Well, you are needed. Emma wants you to meet someone."

The snake saw that James had to go and slithered off of his spot on James' knees so James could stand. James and the snake said exchanged names (the snake's was Rathan) and said a quick goodbye. Jacob gave strange looks in their direction, but at that point James didn't care. Let him wonder about it. Why should I have to explain everything to him? thought James angrily. Then James stood up and walked back to the reception with Jacob.

"Jamesie!" shrieked Emma when she saw James. "Where have you been? I have someone I want you to meet." Emma roughly pulled a woman over. "This is Wendy, my friend from high school," she introduced. "Wendy, this is my friend James."

Wendy and James shook hands with side looks at Emma, trying to figure out what her ulterior motive was.

"Wendy," went on Emma, "Jamesie here is single. And James, Wendy is single too. What a coincidence! How could that have happened?"

"I don't know," said Wendy, smiling at Emma. "It couldn't have been planned by a certain someone, of course."

"Hey Jamesie," said Emma in a heavy whisper, "You need a girlfriend. Go and talk with Wendy."

"Yes ma'm," said James curtly.

Emma narrowed her eyes.

Wendy saw this and quickly took James' arm and pulled him towards a picnic table.

"I thought it best if we didn't stick around," Wendy explained. "Emma can turn drastic."

"Any interesting experiences behind that statement?" asked James.

Wendy wrinkled her nose. "Emma sets me up with someone as often as she can. I don't think she likes the boyfriend I have at home. She considers me single."

"Hard to have Emma against you. Bit like swimming upstream, isn't it?"

"Tell me about it."

Peter came up to James a tapped him on the shoulder.

"Hey James," said Peter, "I've been looking for you everywhere. Emma and Jacob are going to spend Christmas with us. Isn't that wonderful?"

Wonderful, just wonderful... James thought. Not only will I now have to look over my shoulder for people who might recognize me, but also I'll have the one person in my midst who knows about my past life and that world. He'll probably want a tour of Diagon Alley, thought James bitterly.

"Hey, James," continued Peter, "Do you think you can spare a second?"

Wendy waved her hand motioning for James to go, and James nodded to Peter.

"I have someone I want you to meet," Peter said.

Peter led James to an area where another lady was standing chatting to some people.

"James," said Peter, pulling the lady in front of James, "This is Kate, Jacob's cousin. Kate, this is James, Jacob's and my friend. Kate has a lot of the same interests as you, James. I think you guys will get along well."

Peter left the area leaving Kate and James in a rather awkward position. They both knew they were being set up, and both didn't really want it.

"So... you're a friend of Jacob's?" said Kate.

"Yeah," said James.

There was a pause.

"I think they're serving cake," said Kate suddenly. "Let's go get some."

She and James each got a slice of the chocolate cake (made by Peter, at a discount price, for Jacob and Emma) and sat down at a table. James half-heartedly ate his cake and they made short talk for a while before several other people joined them, including Wendy, who had already been introduced to another guy by Emma.

Soon the reception was over. Emma and Jacob were off to Key Largo for their honeymoon and people started heading home, James among the first. James didn't really feel like being around Jacob or other people, for that matter. It just felt too strange. Jacob, without seriously meaning to, had made James' life a lot harder. Because now he was truly living a lie, and not just a separate life. Whenever Jacob was there, James knew consciously that he was lying and that Jacob knew the truth. His life could no longer be an improvement to his old life, but a sign of fear and cowardice of what he had once been.

One thing is for sure, James thought before going to bed that night, I am not looking forward to England.

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