Part 2: Beating a Dead Horse
After having somehow survived the trauma of seeing his best
friend married suddenly, Ranma would naturally be expected
to laugh and blow it all off one moment, then turn around
and begin weeping uncontrollably the next. This was
actually quite normal for Ranma, and Kasumi was already
working on a consolation meal for him.
Ranma, however, had started to become dignified and even
respectable. It would possibly become him more to bottle up
his anger for a few days, then let it all vent out in one
brutal and defensive tirade. Nabiki had already put a stack
of magazines together in her room, and was getting ready for
a long siege.
On the other hand, Ranma never took well to being girl-type.
If he was stuck for some time as boy-type it would then
follow that he was now stuck as girl-type. Ranma would
possibly spend a few hours trying to turn back, then run
away somewhere to unwind. Akane might have already guessed
this much and would have been packed and ready to go. If
Akane had known--that is--she would have been ready.
Instead, Akane came to dinner that evening to discover that
Nabiki and Ranma had not turned up, and she was mildly
surprised but not altogether bothered by it.
When she went upstairs, she briefly thought about knocking
on the door to Ranma's room and having a nice little
conversation, but she decided at the last moment to let it
wait.
Later that evening, Kasumi had come by her room and had
asked about Ranma, but Akane didn't know where he had gone.
When Akane went to bed, she briefly fretted about him,
thinking every time she heard a noise outside that it was
Ranma.
When Akane found herself looking outside from her window for
the tenth time, she realized it was time to get serious with
herself and send herself to bed.
The next morning, Akane noticed Genma and was briefly
relieved--thinking that if Genma was there, it would only be
natural for Ranma to turn up. She was a little shocked,
however, when Genma later chuckled and asked Akane if she
had seen Ranma.
When she got over her shock, Akane quite naturally grew
angry, blaming Ranma for her distress. If he was going to
run off, fine--but he could at least tell someone about it,
first. She went to school that day, determined to tell him
off, and then maybe beat the tar out of him for good
measure.
When she arrived at class, she discovered that no one had
spotted Ranma. Several times, friends of hers would show up
and ask her where Ranma was. Akane even overheard rumors
that she had finally gone berserk, killed Ranma, and buried
his body in the backyard.
Akane could bear it if Ranma had run off and had left her
for good. She could shrug it off for a week or two, then
eventually recover in a few years or so. She could even
bear the stigma of ugly rumors about herself and Ranma.
Akane knew that rumors would fade in time. What she could
not bear was the fact that she was worried about him and she
had no way of knowing what had happened.
It was typical of him, though. Ranma would make some stupid
decision that would put everyone else in a difficult
position. Even worse, whenever confronted with the
evidence, Ranma would come up with an asinine excuse for
making them upset. It made her so mad at times that Akane
would inadvertently scare people into believing the rumors
about her being a killer even more--which would only
frustrate her more.
Of course, there were times when Ranma was in serious
trouble and wouldn't be able to explain himself. Ranma had
been attacked and kidnapped so many times that Akane was
starting to lose count. And how many times had Ranma been
attacked that Akane didn't even know about? Akane knew
quite well that if Ranma had been attacked, his pride would
never allow him to admit it--if the situation was just as
well without it. There were many times when Ranma wouldn't
admit to being hurt or humiliated, even when Akane had
witnessed it.
Whenever Akane began thinking this way, she would become sad
and upset on his behalf--thinking that she wished there was
a way she could know something that would help. Then, she
would inevitably discover her mood had dipped, blame it on
Ranma for being an idiot, and become angry all over again.
Thus, Akane rode the roller coaster of her emotions all day
at school, hoping for some word about Ranma, and also
dreading that she might hear something about him--that he
had been hurt or killed, for example. Ranma had made many
enemies, over the years, after all.
At one point, Akane had heard the rumor being whispered for
the thirtieth time about her being a murderer, and she
screamed, "I wish I had killed that idiot! If I don't find
him soon, he's a dead man!"
After that, people began adding that if Akane were ever
brought to trial, she would almost certainly plead insanity.
***
Over the next few days, it was becoming obvious that Ranma
wouldn't turn up, so Soun and Genma went out looking for
him--an activity that mainly consisted of hanging out at all
the bars and ramen shops in the areas they were "searching."
Just as they were starting to get short on funding--and they
were starting to seriously consider finding Ranma--Akane
resolved the matter by furiously setting out on her own.
Akane at once chose the Cat Cafe as the first place to look,
and, of course, immediately found Ranma there--hiding out in
the kitchen, eating a bowl of ramen.
What followed was a hideous scream that could be heard for
miles around.
***
In a flash, Akane had Ranma by the shirt front, and had
slammed him up against the wall.
"Yo, Akane," he said.
"Ranma!" Akane shouted. "Do you enjoy torturing me!? I've
been worried sick about you, and all you do is..."
One moment, Akane had been in a rage. The next moment, she
suddenly found herself confused and almost a little
mortified. "Ummm..." she added. She let Ranma go, and
blinked several times--as if to convince herself that she
really was looking at Ranma.
While Akane was scanning Ranma, he turned away--somewhat
disgracefully--and looked downward.
It was fairly obvious to Akane now that Ranma had turned
back to girl-type. He had become a she--with the breasts to
prove it. Once Akane had settled that matter in her mind,
she again flared, "What the hell is wrong with you!?"
"What?!" Ranma said, suddenly defensive.
It was at times like this that Akane would find herself.
Suddenly, she found that she just didn't care anymore. "Let
Ranma just do whatever he or she wants," she thought to
herself. She turned and left--or rather, she thought about
turning and leaving, anyway. She turned and caught herself
weeping without any awareness of why she was weeping--other
than maybe her eyes just had a mind of their own.
She turned to Ranma again and asked her, "Why? Why do you
keep doing this to me?"
"Akane..." Ranma began, and suddenly they discovered that
they had an audience.
Without them realizing it, Soun, Genma, Kasumi--who was busy
serving tea to Soun and Genma--Nabiki, Cologne, Shampoo, and
several of the customers had packed themselves into the
kitchen to overhear this conversation.
Ranma scowled and said, in Chinese, "I think it would be
better if we had less of an audience."
Akane looked around, took the hint, and answered in Chinese,
"I think you're right."
Cologne joined them and said, "Now, that's a good idea."
Shampoo added, "Uh-yuh. Dats a good idea, uh-right."
As Cologne rolled her eyes, Ranma and Akane groaned briefly
--to think that Shampoo's speech impediment wasn't limited
to just Japanese.
***
When they realized they were being left out of the
conversation, most of the audience left the kitchen. Soun,
however, stayed through most of it. Although he couldn't
understand a word of it, he liked the non-verbal
communication going on between Akane and Ranma. It seemed
to him that they were finishing each other's sentences, and
that they would even sometimes share a little inside joke
with each other. Whatever it was, it was definitely
something Shampoo took a disliking to, and Shampoo soon
stormed out of the kitchen.
Maybe it was just Soun's imagination, but whatever they
talked about, Akane would just get angry if asked about it
--and, of course, Shampoo would refuse to discuss it.
Cologne would say that it was personal and leave it at that.
If they ever asked Ranma, he would gladly answer--in
Chinese. So, whatever they talked about was just between
Ranma and Akane.
Kasumi, however, managed to pick up a few little details
here and there over the years, and eventually wrote that
Ranma had been terribly embarrassed to discover that he'd
reverted to girl-form again, and had simply not wanted
anyone "important" to him to see him that way. Now, of
course, this was totally out of character for Ranma--or even
Ranma's "alternate" personality--so we may never know what
was actually said.
Maybe Soun was already thinking optimistically, and maybe
Akane was just flattering herself--and helping Ranma save
face. But whatever they talked about, it did upset Shampoo
quite a bit, although none of them felt guilty enough to go
placate Shampoo.
Ranma did, in fact, return to the Tendo home afterward, and
it was found out for certain that Ranma was stuck in girl-
form. This was nothing particularly new, and Akane's
sisters were at a loss why Ranma would react the way she
did.
There was a subtle difference in the way Ranma looked,
but only Nabiki noticed it--from having photographed Ranma
so many times--and Nabiki was keeping it to herself for now.
In the kitchen, Ranma asked if she could help out with
making supper, and Kasumi was more than happy to let Ranma
help, this time.
At supper, Ranma was careful--yet still swift--about eating,
and she was heading toward her room for an early trip to bed
when the next big problem suddenly arose.
***
Ranma glanced back around at the table as she stood and
said, "Well, g'night everybody. Big day tomorrow. Lots of
homework, too..." Ranma said this last part under her
breath, already dreading the assignments she had missed, and
she reflexively looked to Akane.
At first, Ranma didn't really notice, and she was in the
hallway--halfway to the stairway at the entrance--when she
turned and dashed back toward the living room.
"Ak... Ak... Aka--!" Ranma exclaimed, pointing at Akane.
The others reacted in mild surprise, looking at Ranma as if
she had suddenly gone insane.
"Wha-?" Akane started.
"Your f... fuh... fuh... fuh..." Ranma explained.
Nabiki rolled her eyes and obligingly glanced at Akane,
earning herself a shock, in the process. "Ngyah!" Nabiki
added.
"You have a w... wuh... wuh... wuh... thingy..." Ranma
continued.
"A what?" Soun asked, as Kasumi looked at Akane, curiously.
"Oh my!" Kasumi said, and now everyone was looking at
Akane's face--even Akane, who suddenly had a hand mirror.
"AAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGH!" Akane screamed, unable to withstand
the sight of her own face. Once again, there were whiskers
on her cheeks.
"Akane," Nabiki started, "have you been in the super soba
again?"
"Why?!" Akane answered. "Why!? Why!? Why!?" She punctuated
each question with the slamming of her hand on the table.
"Oh my, oh my, oh my..." Kasumi added.
"I guess not," Nabiki replied to herself.
Soun, who had already been through so much this day, simply
got up--reeled just a little--and headed straight for bed.
Genma seemed totally oblivious to all this, only staring at
the TV as if there were nothing in the world happening.
Ranma, who had been staring, suddenly smirked a tiny little
smirk, was about to say something, then suddenly thought
better of it.
Akane dashed off to her room, weeping as she went.
***
Now, the next day, Ranma had every right to still be upset
and to think that every teacher who chewed her out or made
snide remarks about her absence was worth throwing a temper
tantrum over. No one would have blamed her, had she begun
muttering about the huge piles of work they gave her to do--
especially when those piles of work included assignments
that Akane was now missing, since she had mysteriously
disappeared from school.
It might reasonably be expected that Ranma would grow
irritated at the increasing attention Kuno--who was
convinced that the "pigtailed-girl" had returned just for
his benefit--was giving her.
One might have even expected Ranma to become annoyed at all
the explanations people were demanding of her. There
certainly weren't any shortage of people asking.
Ranma, however, was nothing more than amused by all this.
Quite often, Ranma would find a way to set the groups of
people demanding explanations against Kuno--and thus resolve
the matter to her satisfaction.
To Ranma, schoolwork had always meant more teeth-grinding
than actual work, and her pleasure at Akane's expense had
guided her smoothly through her usual anticipation. In
fact, she hardly noticed it when she had finished working.
She was so absorbed in doing all this work that unpleasant
remarks about her absence and her current state were simply
ignored, and Ranma even drifted through her practice
sessions with Genma.
At home, Ranma was becoming so studious that Soun more than
once confused her with Kasumi, which made Genma begin to
refer to Ranma as "Kasumi," rather mockingly.
Nabiki--who had always enjoyed toying with Ranma and Akane--
began referring to Kasumi as "Ranma," but soon grew bored
with Kasumi's narrowed gaze and indulgent sighs. Ranma and
Akane were no fun for her, though. Ranma was spending too
much time working to notice Nabiki, and Nabiki was too
nervous to visit Akane. Akane was starting to give everyone
the creeps.
Every night, nevertheless, Ranma visited Akane's room to
give her the assignments she was missing while she was
"sick."
***
Upon entering Akane's room, Ranma made the usual nightly
flinch of ever-growing disgust.
Once, Akane's room had been simple and neat--almost Spartan
in its neatness. Akane had always encouraged and even
welcomed light into her room, and the light had always
seemed to gleam with a modest and understated glow.
Now, it seemed that Akane's room was a dark and forbidding
place--a place where even shadows would turn away from the
hideous shapes that lurked in the corners. Though Ranma had
begun to think of Akane's room as an unpleasant place to
have to go, these thoughts were nothing compared to the
reality of her room, now. Now, she was actually afraid.
Many times in the past, Akane would sit at her desk or go to
the balcony and gaze up at the stars. Akane had always been
wistful and musing.
All that Ranma could see of Akane now were the two glimmers
of faint lights that he assumed were reflections of the
hallway in her eyes.
"Ranma," Akane said, her voice strained but otherwise
unchanged. "Come in and close the door, would you?"
Ranma took a deep swallow and entered, trying the light
switch as she entered. The darkness continued, and--if
anything--perhaps became a little deeper. She tried it a
few more times, and she *felt* more than could see Akane
smirking at her. As Ranma closed the door, she felt her
heart sinking as deep as the darkness suddenly became.
"Sorry about the light," Akane said, "but I just got sick of
looking at myself."
It was a little disconcerting to Ranma to hear Akane
speaking so casually in such a setting. It made Ranma all
the more speechless that Akane had even admitted to looking
at herself.
Just as Ranma began to wonder, Akane said, "Yeah, it's
getting worse." This unsettled Ranma even more--wondering
if Akane had suddenly been able to read her mind. "I doubt
you would recognize me, Ranma," she added.
Ranma felt a chill as she realized that she *had* once been
unable to recognize Akane, and Ranma's first thought was to
protest that things were different, now.
"Not that you care, of course," Akane added. "Right,
Ranma?"
"Hey--" Ranma started, and was immediately cut off by
Akane's soft laughter.
"What?" Akane said a little skeptically. "You weren't about
to deny it, were you? Ranma, don't make me laugh."
Ranma wasn't sure whether she was more offended by Akane's
accusations or by the fact that they were mostly true.
"I've cared about you a hella lot longer than you cared
about me," she found herself saying, and immediately
realized it was her alternate personality.
"Oh yeah?" Akane answered.
"Yeah," Ranma said, a bit weaker. "Don't get the wrong
idea," she added. "I just ain't the jerk you seem to think
I am."
Akane snorted, and whether it was from laughter or from
choking back a sob, she added, "Now, how did you ever get
that idea?"
Girl or boy, Ranma could never stand these touchy-feely
situations, and she promptly changed the subject. "I got
your assignments for today."
Akane took the stack of papers from Ranma and immediately
asked, "Why are they wet?"
"Well," Ranma said somewhat sheepishly, "I got caught in the
middle of Kuno fighting with his sister again, and I had to
go fish them out of the canal..."
Akane audibly sighed as Ranma continued her story of this
latest adventure, becoming all the more bored as Ranma
became all the more enthusiastic in telling it.
Bored though she was, Akane listened intently to every
detail. Her brooding and her gloom hadn't quite affected
her attitude. Akane knew that listening to Ranma was
important, even if many of the things she said were absurdly
trivial.
She did have her limit, though. Just as Ranma was warming
up to how she had caught the scent of something that smelled
like a certain fried fish and seemed about to embark on an
epic of her previous adventures in fish--and all the
different scents fried fish could have--Akane realized that
enough was enough, and promptly shoved Ranma out the door.
Before she fully realized it, Ranma was talking to herself
in the hallway. She laughed for a moment, then folded her
arms and became petulant as she added, "Now, that was rude!"
***
Akane's affliction was a topic of some discussion around the
dinner table over the next couple of days, and it was pretty
much assumed that Ranma was the only possible cause and
solution to this affliction--despite the fact that they
could neither prove that Ranma had had anything to do with
it nor that they even knew what it was that Akane was
suffering from.
Ranma felt pretty strongly--and her alternate personality
whole-heartedly agreed--that there was not only no share of
guilt to be dealt to her, but that there was no practical
way she could even start to solve the problem--whatever it
was.
No one except Kasumi could even say for certain what Akane
even looked like, and Kasumi would refuse to talk about it.
Ranma had no real interest in seeing Akane's face. Ranma
had a slight, lingering curiosity, but that was the extent
of it. Akane would certainly not oblige Ranma's capricious
(and frequently unbearable) gaze, and Ranma knew her well
enough to not even ask.
Try as she might, though, nothing Ranma did could shake a
feeling of some amount of responsibility, and it was really
beginning to get irritating.
What was worse, Ranma began to think that this situation was
familiar in a way, and that she really ought to know who was
behind it, by now.
Just as she was thinking that--and finishing off some bread
she had been snacking on--she happened to cross paths with
Shampoo--who had just finished a delivery, and was returning
to the Cat Cafe.
"Nihao!" Shampoo greeted her. "Ranma come looking for
Shampoo!"
Ranma watched in fascination as Shampoo grabbed her by the
arm and began to cuddle with her. "I don't change back, you
know," Ranma said.
"I no care," Shampoo said. "I know Ranma's heart is man."
Ranma sighed and realized that Shampoo had immediately sized
up the situation. Without giving it much thought, Ranma
began to also realize that what she really needed was to get
away from all the stunned glares of people watching her and
Shampoo, and to get into a nice big fight--preferably one
she could rightfully expect to win (anything with the words
"martial arts" in the title ought to be good enough).
And just then, as if fate itself had read her mind, Ranma
suddenly found herself looking at the infamous "Cat Temple,"
which had provided Ranma with many memorable torments, not
too long ago. Looking at it now, Ranma felt a surge of
excitement in her manly heart and cracked her knuckles,
saying, "Shampoo, I'm not sure I should tell you this, but
I've recently gotten over my fear of cats."
Ranma missed it, but Shampoo was shocked into silence by
this confession.
Ranma continued, "I'm not exactly sure how, but I've
suddenly come to feel that I can even grow to love cats."
"Aiyaa!" Shampoo tried to say, but found that she had no
voice. It didn't matter. Ranma wasn't looking at her.
As Ranma dashed toward the old, abandoned temple, Shampoo
took a moment to collect herself before chasing after.
***
Ranma knew, perhaps better than anybody, that she'd been
trained well to be terrified of cats, and one does not
simply overcome a fear by willing it to be. Under normal
circumstances, it would have taken many years of intensive
retraining for Ranma to have had any success with her
phobia--and, even then, she would still have many years of
relapses to look forward to.
Ever since her "transformation," however, Ranma began to
sense that there was powerful magic at work in her mind. As
a well-trained martial artist, Ranma knew the connection and
harmony between the mind and body, and so it was no surprise
to Ranma that this magic would affect her conditioning, as
well.
How the magic worked, exactly, was a mystery even to Ranma.
All Ranma knew was that when the other personality took
control, she wasn't even slightly bothered by cats. And
ever since Ryoga left, Ranma began to feel that losing
control wasn't such a bad thing.
The only thing that bothered her, in fact, was that she
began to feel strangely bored all the time, and there was a
persistent feeling in the back of her mind that no one was
really listening to her.
Ranma rushed up to the entrance and was unsurprised to see
the giant monster cat, Mao Mo Lin, appear literally out of
thin air from a large, floating bell. Mao Mo Lin seemed
delighted for a moment, then flinched in shock.
"Ack!" he said, waving his paws at Ranma. "Keep away or
I'll bite you!"
Ranma smiled and calmly took in the sight of Mao Mo Lin
looking away as he brandished his paw at Ranma pathetically.
A moment later, Shampoo appeared and bludgeoned the cat with
a kick to the head.
"Crazy cat!" she said. "What you do with Ranma?!"
"Relax, Shampoo," Ranma said. "I ain't freaked out about
this guy anymore."
"Owwie!" the cat cried. "What'd you do that for?"
"You shut big cat trap!" Shampoo blared. "You want Shampoo
get mad?"
"Heh," Ranma said, folding her arms. "It's okay. It's
okay. Cats don't scare me."
"Is that so?" the cat said. "Maybe I should do this..."
Mao Mo Lin growled and hissed in feline fury, then slowly
deflated back to normal when he saw that it wasn't making an
impression. Ranma again cracked her knuckles, and said,
"You better get ready, cat, cause I've been savin' this up
for a long time."
***
Outside the Cat temple, several passersby turned to see what
all the commotion was--hearing several loud crashes and
thuds.
***
Ranma was in a good mood for supper that night, so no one
bothered her about finding a cure for Akane--in fact, Soun
began thinking that Ranma was close to finding one. Genma,
however, recognized that mood, and he switched to panda form
as soon as he saw it--knowing that Ranma would be anxious to
fight again as soon as possible, and that she would probably
still be strong and keen with those kicks.
Nabiki, infected by the mood, had teased Ranma a few times
about her impending visit with Akane in the dark--
insinuating that Ranma and Akane were doing naughty things
when they were all alone. Ranma had thought it was a little
sickening, but it didn't really bother her. Nabiki had to
stop, though, when it seemed that Kasumi was about to get
really upset over the idea.
Nabiki was somewhat alarmed when Ranma insisted that, since
Nabiki was suspicious of their doings, she would just have
to take care of matters, herself. It was an unusual move
for Ranma, and suggested to Nabiki an unusual cleverness in
Ranma. Ranma wasn't serious, of course, much to Nabiki's
relief.
In fact, Ranma was becoming a little possessive of these
private moments with Akane. It was disturbing, but Ranma
couldn't explain it. Part of the problem lay in solving the
underlying mystery.
When Ranma arrived at Akane's room--and after the usual
nightly flinch of ever-growing disgust--she immediately
demanded to know what Akane looked like, tried the light,
and immediately regretted it.
Scattered all over the floor were scraps of paper and
clothing, dishes and chopsticks, and all manner of cords,
thread, and broken pieces of wood. For several moments, all
Ranma could do was stare in wonder at all the junk that had
been left all over Akane's room--and she briefly marveled
that she had never tripped over it, all the previous nights
that she had come there.
When she looked at Akane, however, Ranma saw something that
completely startled her. For a brief moment, Ranma thought
Akane had turned into a human-sized cat, and Ranma had to
suppress a residual urge to panic.
"That's quite a reaction," Akane told her. "I thought you
said you wanted to know."
"Gyah," Ranma said, finally uncoiling from her shock. "I
wasn't expecting this."
Akane had become furry, and she had the ears, paws, and tail
of a cat. It was understandable that Ranma would get that
first impression.
"Let me guess," Ranma said. "You were cursed by Mao Mo
Lin."
"Don't tell me you knew!" Akane said, sharply.
"It just came to me," Ranma said, matter-of-factly.
Just then, Ranma noticed that the others had appeared behind
her, and she slammed the door shut.
"You realize what this means?" Akane added.
Ranma pondered for a moment, but then said--without any hint
of thinking, "Another curse you have to break with a kiss?"
"Uh huh," Akane replied. For a long moment, they seemed to
be contemplating the side effects of an intentional
collision between human mouths, and comparing such a thing
to insects intentionally striking the windshield of a
speeding car.
Clearly, at this moment, Ranma was of two minds. Part of
her said, "So what? It's just a kiss. Get over it."
Another part of her said, "Hold on, a sec! This isn't
something you just leap into!" What was perhaps more
astonishing was that she couldn't sense her alternate
personality in any of this. Ranma had no awareness of
having said anything about breaking a curse with a kiss, yet
she was aware of the effects of *someone* forcing her into
making this decision. "Whoa!" Ranma said, clenching her
head.
"Let me get something straight," Ranma continued. "When
exactly is this supposed to be complete?"
Akane took a deep breath and said, "The full moon." Ranma
then dashed to the window and looked out. "Hey!" Akane
said, a little outraged to be ignored. "Ranma--!"
Ranma breathed a sigh of relief and leaped out the window.
She then called upward, "I'll be back before then!"
"You jerk!" Akane screamed. "Get back up here! I wasn't
finished!" Her voice had just started to echo into the
darkness when Ranma was gone.
Just then, Shampoo appeared--just out of sight of Ranma--and
she smiled at Akane. Akane was as sensitive as always, and
she recognized in that smile that Shampoo was telling Akane
that she had known all along about the curse--and had even
instigated it--and that Akane may have thought she had the
upper hand, but Shampoo believed the situation would soon
change.
So, when Shampoo carefully chased after Ranma as Akane
watched from her room, Akane clenched her furry paw and
vowed, "You haven't won yet, Shampoo!"
Akane then caught her reflection from the window and
flinched in brief disgust at herself.
***
By now, all this odd behavior had become the norm for Ranma
and the others. In fact, Soun Tendo had become so
accustomed to spying on Ranma and Akane, that the only thing
he could remark as he stood in the hallway outside Akane's
door was, "Hang in there, Akane!"
Nabiki rolled her eyes as Kasumi muttered, "Oh my..." Genma
put a hand on Soun's shoulder and said, "You know, Tendo. I
think Ranma's starting to come around."
"Too bad he's stuck in girl-form," Nabiki added.
"Isn't the full moon tomorrow?" Kasumi asked.
As the others wandered off, Kasumi began to wonder, and she
went to her room in search of a good almanac.
***
Ranma soon returned to the Cat temple, thinking that Mao Mo
Lin had foolishly remained in his tangible form, or that the
giant monster cat could somehow be persuaded to confront
her. When Ranma arrived, she realized she was full of ideas
on how to extract information on beating curses, but she
hadn't given any thought to how she was going to find the
cat to begin with.
Thus, alone in the dark of the temple grounds--aside from a
few dozen alley cats--Ranma sat and began thinking about how
to draw Mao Mo Lin out of wherever he was hiding.
Just about the time she was thinking of heading out to the
Cat Cafe, Shampoo saved her the trouble and appeared.
"Ranma no find big cat, here," she said.
Ranma, who still had no idea that Shampoo was involved,
said, "Shoot! I really needed to knock some sense into him,
too."
"Already knock sense out of cat," Shampoo told her. "Ranma
no get curse off Akane, anyway."
"What'd you say?" Ranma asked, becoming annoyed at the way
Shampoo was smirking.
Shampoo walked up to Ranma and stood next to her as she
said, "Mao Mo Lin just crazy bell monster. He no take curse
off for no reason, and no even you take curse off."
This whole conversation already had a surreal quality to it
without Shampoo having trouble using proper grammar. Trying
to follow what Shampoo was saying was beginning to take its
toll on Ranma's overworked psyche, and Ranma said, "Huh?"
"You want Akane become cat?" Shampoo asked.
"No," Ranma replied. "Of course not."
"Curse is beat by kiss of man who victim love," Shampoo
supplied. "If no man love or if love no is man, no is
beating curse."
Ranma could nearly always follow what Shampoo had told her
before. Now, it just seemed all jumbled up. "If who does
what?" she asked.
Shampoo glared at Ranma for a moment. "Girl-being make
Ranma stupid?"
Ranma frowned and folded her arms.
Shampoo sighed and explained, "You no beat curse."
"I can't?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"You no can do it."
"You just said that. But what I'm asking is--"
Shampoo groaned and punched Ranma in the head. "I just say
you! You no can! You no is man, and Akane no love anyway."
"Hmmm..." Ranma said. Ranma rubbed her chin and thought, as
Shampoo folded her arms and narrowed her gaze at Ranma. At
last, Ranma hit her palm in realization and said, "I got
it!"
Shampoo smiled and said, "Now see?"
Ranma thought for another moment and said, "Wait. No... I
forgot. Why can't I beat the curse?"
***
Ranma became lost in thought for several hours, sitting
there at the Cat temple. She found herself petting a cat as
she suddenly realized what Shampoo had given up trying to
tell her.
In an instant, Ranma said, "Of course! I'm a girl, so the
curse wouldn't break for me, anyway!"
Ranma then punched herself in the head, also realizing how
long it had taken her to figure that out.
Just as she was starting to feel pity toward Shampoo for
having had to explain it all in vain, Ranma also suddenly
realized that Shampoo had been the one who had facilitated
the curse.
With Akane out of the way--most likely, married to the cat
monster--Shampoo would be free to date with Ranma. Shampoo
would ignore the fact that Ranma had already developed
feelings (in a way) for Akane, and that even if Akane was
out of the picture, Ukyo was a somewhat more pleasant person
to date than Shampoo.
***
By midnight, Ranma had brought Akane back with her to the
Cat temple. Just as she suspected, Akane changed back to
her usual self the moment they entered the temple grounds.
They also had another moment when Mao Mo Lin appeared, but
Ranma and Akane both beat the stuffing out of him until he
vanished again.
"All right, Ranma," Akane started. "What is this plan of
yours?"
Right on cue, Dr. Tofu showed up, giving Akane a really good
start.
"Dr. Tofu?" Akane said. "What is he doing here?"
"I sent for him," Ranma explained, "to break the curse."
Akane punched Ranma in the head and said, grimly, "What the
hell did you do that for, huh? You don't expect me to kiss
him, do you?"
"Ow!" Ranma said, rubbing her head. "Well, I didn't have a
whole lot of choice! I ain't a man, you know! Maybe you'd
rather kiss Kuno!"
Dr. Tofu approached them and cleared his throat, saying,
"Excuse me, but I was told that someone out here needed
medical attention..."
"Maybe I would," Akane said to Ranma.
Ranma went to Dr. Tofu and said, "Yeah, Dr. Tofu. It's
Akane. I think she's got something in her eye."
"Uh huh..." Dr. Tofu mused. "You called me out here in the
middle of the night to look at Akane's eye?"
Akane put her face in her hand, mortified.
"Oh, yeah," Ranma said, gesturing in an annoyed but
reassuring way to Akane. "It's small, but it doesn't seem
to want to come out."
"I guess I can have a look," Dr. Tofu muttered.
As Tofu opened a small bag he was carrying with him, Ranma
went to Akane and whispered, "It ain't gotta mean nothin',
Akane. I figure you just need an actual guy to break the
curse. Just kiss 'em an' get it over with."
"Fine, fine, fine..." Akane mumbled, still plenty mortified.
Ranma tried to sneak away, but Akane grabbed her by the arm
and whispered, piercingly, "This is a rotten thing to do,
and whatever happens is your fault!"
Just as Ranma planned, Dr. Tofu stood over Akane, looking
into her eyes. "Which one?" Tofu asked her, and Akane
answered by pointing out her right eye.
Ranma made a "V" with her fingers and mentally patted
herself on the back. "I am so clever," she told herself.
Akane, who had seen some of that, rolled her eyes and nearly
forgot what she was doing.
"I don't see anything," Dr. Tofu said, reaching for his
light. "Just a sec..." He took his light and shined it
directly into Akane's eye, making a pretty thorough search.
Ranma cringed in anticipation. Akane had always been
reluctant about doing anything that might seem girlish, and
her youthful crush on Dr. Tofu had become more of an
irritation to her, lately. Still, Ranma felt certain that
some of the old magic must still remain, and she was very
surprised when several long moments passed without anything
more happening except Dr. Tofu muttering about not finding
anything.
Dr. Tofu was ready to give up, but Ranma insisted that he
try again--giving Akane an evil glare in the process--but,
no matter how much Akane might have felt tempted to kiss
him, she just couldn't bring herself to do it. Akane even
shoved Tofu away at one particularly close moment.
"Oh, are you all right?" Tofu asked. "I didn't hurt
anything, did I?"
"No," Akane answered. "I'm fine." Akane then returned the
glare back at Ranma for a moment, then added, "I think it's
gone."
"That's a relief," Tofu said. "For a moment there, I was
certain you were trying to kiss me."
***
Ranma escorted Akane home, even when she returned to her
half-cat appearance outside the temple grounds. Although
Ranma walked beside her, Akane didn't say a word, the whole
way home. Akane only frowned and muttered to herself the
entire time.
At the entrance, Ranma was just about to climb the stairs to
her room when Akane said, rather loudly, "Ranma! You are a
complete idiot! What made you come up with such a stupid
idea!?"
And, instead of waiting for an answer, Akane stomped her way
up the stairs past Ranma--slamming her door shut as she
entered her room.
Ranma was still a little stunned by Akane's insult, and took
a moment to collect herself, then started becoming angry.
"Why that macho tomboy! How dare she!? It was a great
idea! She's the one that screwed it up!"
At the top of the stairs, Ranma was so intent on her fuming
that she nearly tripped over Kasumi--who had suddenly
appeared in the hallway.
"Ah!" Ranma said, flinging herself to the side to avoid
hitting Kasumi. "Excuse me!"
"Oh, Ranma," Kasumi said. "Is Akane back? I forgot to tell
her something."
"Yeah," Ranma replied. "She's back, all right. She brought
her attitude with her, too."
"Oh my," Kasumi stated. "This could really be a problem."
As Ranma watched in growing amazement, Kasumi went to
Akane's door and knocked.
"Go away, you jerk!" came Akane's voice from inside. Kasumi
opened the door and said, "Akane, I really need to tell you
something..."
"Oh, I'm sorry, Kasumi!" Akane said.
"You see," Kasumi said, "It's about the full moon.
Actually..."
Just then Shampoo appeared and said, "Moon full tonight!"
Akane rushed out into the hallway and said, "Tonight?!"
As Akane stood frozen in shock, Shampoo was overcome by the
giggles and began pointing at Akane. "Akane is real cat-
girl!"
Akane's face--which had become somewhat haggard from not
eating or properly training--was smeared with tears. Now
that Akane had become furry, it was pretty obvious how she
felt, because the tracks of her tears left dark, ugly lines
under her eyes where the fur had become moist.
Ranma had been moments away from chewing out Akane, and now
she felt more pity for Akane than ever. Looking at her now,
the impression of Akane being a large cat was unmistakable.
If Ranma had left herself in control, there could be little
doubt that she would have fled in terror.
Kasumi, who had merely been trying to be helpful, added,
"Actually, the full moon is in precisely two minutes."
"You be bride of cat monster!" Shampoo added, "And Ranma now
mine!"
Akane, hearing the mockery from Shampoo and seeing the pity
in Ranma's eyes, was hit by a double-dose of shock. There
was a long, agonizing moment when she was sorely tempted to
start growling and pound Ranma through the roof. She might
have done this, and even Kasumi might have said it was for
the best--this had become the worst humiliation yet for
Akane, and Ranma might never learn, otherwise.
When she looked again at Ranma's eyes, Akane was impressed
by the notion that she wasn't really looking at Ranma, but
at someone far more devious and insightful. She saw pity,
but she also began to see real sympathy, as well. This
wasn't a new thing for Ranma, though, and it puzzled Akane
for a moment until she realized that Ranma nearly always
seemed to be suffering some humiliation--either something
Akane had inflicted or something she had done little to
prevent.
And then, seemingly triggered by this realization, memories
of Ranma began to swarm in her mind. There were a great
many foolish things Ranma had said, to be sure, and Akane
remembered Ranma's hasty apologies. What was surprising to
her was that Akane herself had said many more foolish things
to Ranma and had apologized many more times--and in a way
that seemed even more childish than any of Ranma's. Akane
even began to realize that many of the situations were her
own fault--going back even to the day they had met (for
which Akane had neither apologized insincerely nor had even
felt guilty about).
But these were the kind of thoughts one has when one is
expecting to part from someone forever, and Akane realized
above everything else that she could bear anything but that.
The weight of this realization sent her to her knees, where
she wept and could hardly be expected to hear any
consolation.
Even Shampoo was a little astonished to see this reaction.
Kasumi immediately went to Akane and hugged her, saying,
"It's all right, Akane. We'll still love you, even if you
are a cat for the rest of your life."
"That's not it," Akane tried to say, but her sobs were
robbing her of breath.
Ranma helped Akane get up, and Kasumi was surprised to see
that Ranma had somehow changed back to male. "Ranma,"
Kasumi started. "How the heck--?"
In his mind, however, Ranma could only imagine how Ryoga
would react to all this, and it made his stomach churn. No
matter how uncute or how brutal Akane could be, she didn't
deserve to suffer like this.
Shampoo could only watch in helpless shock as Ranma helped
Akane stand again and kissed her, just as it seemed Akane
was about to transform for good.