For The Greater Good
It's the day before my wedding. Instead of feeling happy, free and excited like most brides I feel instead confused, nervous and anxious. I wonder if this really is the right path for me. Do all brides go through this same confusion or is it only me, I wondered. I walked quietly to the window of my quarters and stood silently watching the waterfalls in the distance. How I wish I had someone to talk to about my problems and fears. I fear I won't be able to rule my planet the way my parents did. I'm a grown woman now, not a small child constantly clinging to my mother's skirts the way I did during those rare times when she had time for me. Being royal has its advantages at times, but I wonder what my life would have been like had I been born without a royal title. I'm the only daughter of a monarchy. Monarchy. It's an interesting word. Some people believe that monarchs are cruel and have total control over the people they rule. Not us. My parents have been thinking of joining the Galactic Republic and have requested that the Jedi come and oversee the proceedings of my wedding. Strangely, I welcome this idea even though I'm not sure why. I sighed and threw open the windows, breathing in deeply the scents of the fresh air, grass and water. I love my planet. It is rich and full of life. The very air tingles with the feeling of something I'm not sure how to describe.
"It is beautiful isn't it?"
I jumped slightly, startled at the rich baritone voice behind me. I half-smiled and turned to face the speaker. "It is. The very air flows with …something I can't put into words."
He smiled and closed his eyes breathing in deeply. "The Force, young princess. That is what you are feeling. The Force is life."
I turned back to the window and played with my waist-length blonde hair nervously. The Jedi looked so calm and peaceful and serene. How could he be so calm at a moment like this? When by this time tomorrow my life would be officially turned upside down and I would be a married woman and inherit my planet? "Master Jinn?"
He turned to look at me, one eyebrow raised in a quiet query.
Nervously I looked at him for a few seconds and then I sighed deeply, once more feeling the burden of my people's expectations for me on my shoulders. "What is the right thing to do?"
He cocked his head curiously and frowned, becoming thoughtful. "The right thing, Princess?"
I sighed and looked down at the floor, feeling rather like a schoolgirl caught in some form of mischief. "Sometimes I wonder if this marriage is really the right thing for me to do. I mean part of me wants to be married because it's what's best for the people and the greater good, but the rest of me resents the idea of being chained legally to someone."
He tucked his arms inside his sleeves and as the fabric of his robe moved I caught sight of the metal cylinder at his hip. "Marriage will be what you make it young Princess," he said finally. "Love, however, is one of the greatest joys one being can ever give another, especially in a marriage."
His response surprised me enough to look up away from studying the tiles at my feet. I glared at him and whirled around to face the window. Who was he to be lecturing me about love? "How would you know about love?" I snarled, surprising even myself with my outburst. "Jedi are forbidden to love."
For a moment only, he stared at me and the normally calm Jedi façade disappeared for several long minutes and as he closed his eyes I had a sudden flash of insight. This man, this Qui-Gon Jinn, had lost someone and my cold, callous remarks had hurt him like a vibroblade to the stomach. I sighed deeply feeling my anger melt away as suddenly as it had appeared when I saw this Jedi Master turn away and try his hardest to regain his composure, which he managed with an effort. I gazed at the waterfalls again, remorse for what I had said beginning to gnaw at my gut. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I'm just confused and upset and you happen to be the only one around I can lash out at," I said in sincerity; I hadn't meant to upset the Jedi. My fears and worries were taking their toll on me. The Jedi turned back to look at me and I was immediately drawn to his eyes. They were such a deep, crystal clear blue that I had to remind myself to breathe. He half-smiled, one corner of his mustache turning up. "I accept your apologies, Princess, on the condition however that you take this to heart. I trust that you will do what you think is right." He took one of my hands in his. He was warm and calm and I grasped on to the strength he was offering like a drowning woman does a life preserver. He raised my chin up with his free hand. "For the greater good," he repeated.
THE END