Saiyan No Baka

by CRose

Ranma is sent to another world by Urd, but when he returns all hell breaks loose as he bumps heads with the Scouts, old enemies, and his father.

3. Chapter 02

Notes - Rewrite of Saiyan 1/2 by Fanboymious Prime (With Permission), stumbled across this thing while mining in the deeper and unused areas of FF.Net and had to do something with it. ^_^

http://shi_hanna.tripod.com/

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Saiyan No Baka
Chapter 02
By Cory D. Rose
ertle2@msn.com
(c) 2002
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The next day Ranma flew into Nerima and landed about a block away, he groaned as he saw that his new school was indeed Furinkan High School, a very notorious school with a reputation for being full of undesirables, delinquents, fighters, and worst that Japan had to offer. They took anybody and forced all their students to suffer through some of the strangest courses available, things that were designed to test just who actually wanted to be a student. Even worse was that he was wearing an identical version of the uniform that he'd worn the day before yesterday at Jubaan High. He looked up at the clock in the central spire and noted that he had twenty minutes or so before he had to get to class so he decided to wander around a little and see what this place had to offer. As he neared the front gates he noted that there was quite a crowd gathered just inside the gate, they were getting dressed in various kinds of sporting equipment and limbering up for some kind of event. He quickly ruled that out when he spotted the kendoists at the back calmly waiting for something as well, as if they were psyching themselves up for a difficult battle.

The feeling in the air around him seemed to be expectant, nothing like a large battle would have warranted. More along the lines of a daily event that they all looked forward to so he shrugged and wandered over to the most powerful fighter. He ignored the fact that he was hiding behind a tree as he went through some simple kata with a wooden bokken, the guy had some pretty good concentration though. His bokken was surging with enough to make it as useful as a real sword and just as deadly. "Hi, I'm new around here and wondered who you and everyone else is waiting for?"

"We are waiting for the beautiful and fiery tigress Akane Tendo." Kuno said, tears coming to his eyes as he imagined his love. If one were to look in his mind, they would see three things, a shrine to Akane, a giant bokken with the word ego etched on it, and thousands of shots of the dark haired Akane flashing her panties at him as she fought. Every shot, every crease of her delicates just served to prove to him that she was doing it all for him and with every passing day he got to see more and more of her delicate and graceful body. It's perfect curves, that long glossy air, the fact that she was a natural brunette and her well toned legs were just what he needed to make it through the school day.

Ranma blinked as Kuno suddenly started to drool and laugh manically as he stood there. It was pretty obvious that the guy had something for this Akane chick, even that stupid Kendo uniform couldn't hide the guys 'rising' desire. Then Ranma cocked his head to the side and tried to recall where he had heard that name before, then recalled that his old man had mentioned a 'Tendo' several times over the years while they had been wandering around Japan like a pair of morons. He wondered if this girl was a relation or something of this same man, he had to place her in the same category as the old man, at least until he knew what she was really like. Any friend of his old man had to have the same bad habits and would certainly instill that into his kids. "What do you plan to do with this girl when she gets here?" Ranma asked.

"To fight her of course!" Kuno yelled arrogantly and took a pose, making him look regal and handsome. Ranma thought he looked constipated, but decided not to say anything.

"Why would you want to do anything like that, is she a bully or something that you're out to punish?" That sounded like something his old man would do and this girl was from his old school.

Kuno frowned as he tried to process what Ranma was saying and convert it into his delusional reality, then he got this look in his eye that Ranma had only seen a few times before and it always meant trouble for someone. He shrugged it off, this guy was stronger than most normal people, but he was still no match for him even without powering up.

"Nay, low born dog, for I am your better and have decreed to all that no one may date with her until they defeat her in honorable combat." Kuno said.

"Oh, is that what this is? You should have just said so in the first place. Well good luck to you and the others." Ranma said with a shrug, deciding that the insult could be ignored...naw, he didn't like being called a dog. He could have accepted being called a cat, it was true enough in some ways, but a dog was just insulting. With a twist he turned around and backhanded the insane maniac so hard that flopped like fish as he flew across the main court yard and slammed into a wall, it shattered around him as he slid down to the ground with a grunt. Then Ranma heard a growl of anger and turned around just as Akane Tendo came into sight running at full speed, her anger had manifested in a large red aura and it was obvious to all that she was about to attack.

"There she is!!"

"Get her!!

"Akane, I would date with you my love!!"

"I HATE BOYS!" Akane yelled out and leaped into the fry.

"My love!!"

Smack, crack, snap, pop, scream of horrific pain, gurgling sound...Akane was moving though the boys like she usually did, beating them down left and right. Ranma suddenly found that he had to move though the crowd to get to the main entrance, this was to much, he would have to explore some other day. With his skills though he did it as if they didn't exist, then the that girl Akane sees a new face in the crowd and turns to him in full fury to make sure he never tries to do this kind of thing. Her foot flies out to shatter the pervert's pelvic bone, but he dodges and she had to focus a bit more of her attack on him. With a smile still in his face he blocks a punch and steps behind her and leaves her totally confused for a few seconds as she stumbles around. This doesn't stop her from finishing off the last of the boys around her with several vicious attacks that leave them curled into balls of agony at her feet.

"Hey cut it out, I'm new here, I don't want to beat you up for a stupid date..." Ranma tries to say as Akane finished of the next wave of challengers and lay into him and instant later.

"All boys are perverts!" Akane bellows and tries to kick the pervert in the balls again, but he just weaves out of the way with a smirk.

Ranma seriously considers showing her a little of his true skills, but decides against it, she was just to weak and her anger was making her sloppy. "Well I can see this bunch has soured your thoughts on men, so I'll just leave you alone in your small hate filled world and be on my way Tomboy." Ranma said with a grin and reached into one of his pockets and pulled out a chocolate bar.

"What?!!!!" Akane screeched as a red haze settled over he mind and she went all out on his perverted little ass. Then it got worse as he unwrapped the bar and started munching on it and blocking her blows at the same time, with one hand, even in her rage she was impressed and insulted at the same time.

"You bastard!! Take me seriously!!"

"Why?" Ranma asked as he broke off a portion of the candy bar and stuck it in Akane's mouth.

She stumbled to a stop in total surprise, spit the thing out, and gagged a little at the horrid taste. Then she turned a red eyed glare at the perverted irritant in front of her and let her aura flare out around her even more. Those boys that were still conscious, though injured, gasped and tried to crawl away as they remembered the one time Akane had shown her full battle aura before this. Only Kuno was dumb enough to challenger her when she was in this state of mind. Ranma couldn't have cared less, though he was a bit impressed by her display of power, to bad it was done completely by instinct and she had no control over it. She had potential, but the lack of emotional control made advancing any further in the art almost impossible.

"Is this supposed to impress me, little girl? Hey, this candy bar is pretty good, want some more?" Ranma asked innocently.

"Growl!!"

Kuno, who had been watching the battle, was torn between his awe at the new guy's fighting ability and the fact he was kicking his beloved Akane's butt all over the place. He was faster, stronger, and a hell of a lot more powerful than anyone he had ever seen before and that could only mean one thing...he was about to take the Tigress for his own. Kuno growled at the low born fool, he would never allow that to happen so long as he lived. Then the most amazing thing happened, so shocking that he stumbled to halt and gapped in shock, Ranma stepped back and relaxed a little as Akane's rage continued to grow and grow, then he walked away.
"Finish the fight COWARD!" Akane screamed.

Ranma continued to walk away as he finished off his candy bar.

"YOU. WILL. NOT. IGNORE. ME!!!!"

"Look little girl, are you going to throw a Ki blast at me or something? Otherwise this is just at total waste of time, you need to learn more control to give me even a hint of a challenge." Ranma turned around and asked in a bored tone.

"What's a Ki blast?" Akane snarled.

Ranma was shocked for just a second and this allowed Akane hit him right in the jaw; Ranma blinked at her in surprise at the attack.

"OUCH!" Akane yelled as she rubbed her swore fist.

"I've been told that I have a titanium hard skull." Ranma said with his patented irritating smirk and added. "You actually hit me a lot better than some other guys have in the past, I'm impressed."

"Who the hell are you?" Akane snapped.

"Ranma Saotome at your service, cute stuff."

"Growl...your that perverted son of Uncle Saotome aren't you?" Akane muttered as she rubbed her hand, she would have to see Dr. Tofu about getting it looked at now.

"I thought you looked familiar you (blank blank censored blankedy blank)! Vengeance is finally at hand!" Yelled a voice from the side as one of the bystanders suddenly ran forward and leaped at him while pulling a large object off his back. Ranma turned to see who this was just as the guy got into range and swung the thing around and reflected the sun light off his weapon into his eyes. The giant head of a six foot long spatula hit Ranma on the side of the head with a loud clang and came away with a head shaped dent and a bent handle. Ranma wasn't even phased, he lifted the spatula off his head and took a look at his attacker a little closer to see if he would be a better challenge than this Akane Tendo was turning out to be. "Who are you and why are you attacking me?"

"...?" Akane gasped, how could this guy not know, Ukyo said he was main reason his life had been ruined in the first place and this guy didn't even know who his old friend was?

"You left me behind you bastard, you abandoned me like a dog on the side of the road and left me to die. You have the gall to ask who I am, you ruined my life?! I will kill you and get my honor back you bastard!" Ukyo screamed and tried to behead Ranma, but he just grabbed the spatula, folded and crushed it into a large ball of metal and tossed it to the side. Right on Akane's foot. Several students in the crowd started laughing.

"Owww!!!" She screamed and started hopping up and down.

"Ukyo Kuonji?" Ranma asked. "Ucchan..."

"Don't call me that you jerk!" Ukyo yelled and smacked him, then pulled out several throwing spatulas.

"Ok..." Ranma said with a sweatdrop forming, he had no clue what was going on, but had a feeling his old man was behind it in some way.

"Be careful Ukyo, he's tricky and faster than anyone I have ever seen." Akane said as she circled the...Boy, she had a limp now, she had no plans to back down or lose, but knew he was very good and put Kuno to shame. It would be a long fight, but she could take him down with no problems, she was the best after all and this was a good way to prove it.

"I'm not going to let him get away with abandoning me!!" Ukyo snarled as he held the throwing spats between his fingers and glared at him.

"Whoa there, calm down, I don't have a clue what you're talking about..."

"Shut and stand still so I can kill you!!" Ukyo snarled as Ranma dodged several swipes with the little razor sharp throwing spatulas.

"That would be stupid, but it looks like I'm going to have to give an example aren't I?" Ranma said tiredly, but his mind was made up so he went and did it without much more thought.

"What the hell are you talking about you womanizing pervert!!" Akane snapped as she tried to belt him again, Ranma casually blocked her blow and flared up with enough power to make both girls stumble backwards, well Akane limped back a little. "This is why..." Ranma yelled as he charged up a bit more than normal. The whole school gasped as they saw the loose stones at his feet lifted up off the ground and hover for a second before they pulverized under the intense pressure of his aura. He always liked to power up like this because even though there were easier ways to do so it was damned impressive to everyone that saw it, the smirk was irritating too.

"Oh, that's really scary." Akane said sarcastically, she had seen her aura enough time so shrug this off, though a small part of her mind, her common sense was cowering in the back of her mind and gibbering in fear as it desperately tried to warn her of something. The famous Tendo arrogance was strong in Akane, it ruled her life and made all her decisions for years, so it stomped on her common sense for a few seconds and told Akane to ignore what she was seeing. It was impossible, no matter how strong this guy looked she was the best and that meant he couldn't match her skills. Common sense bit it's ankle, but was quickly put back down where it belonged. ^_^;;

"Well if your going to be that way I'll just have to show you then, but don't say I didn't warn you." Ranma muttered and turned, took aim, and fired off a blast of energy that blew up a building across the street that was scheduled to be demolished within the next few days. That was damned convenient of them to leave something like that for him to use too, he grinned as he turned back to the girls to see what they had to say now.

Thump, thump...

"What about that?" Ranma blinked, they seemed to have fainted for some reason, he shrugged and saw that most of the people watching him had ran for the hills, soiled themselves, or fainted like Akane. Then of course the one person he hadn't expected to meet for a while yet, Genma Saotome, decided to show up by jumping over the wall. Ranma arched an eyebrow at him as the fool ran over to him and tried to take an imposing stance. For some reason it reminded Ranma of that Pialoff character Goku had told him about, he expected a couple fools to show up and start taking orders.

"I've found you at last my son." Genma said, he had the perfect plan to bring the boy to heel.

"Old man?"


"Son, where have you been?" Genma asked as they started to circle each other.

"Away, training with some of the greatest martial artists in the universe and learing just how useless your school really is." Ranma said with an evil smirk and charged up a little more. He was surprised at just how strong the old man was, quite a bit more than anyone else he'd met yet, except for Katsuhito, but his grandpa wasn't human so it didn't matter. This woke the girls up, they seemed to have recovered from whatever it was that made them faint and backed off at the two circled and tried to read each other. Then he sensed that Genma was planning something when his Ki suddenly surged several levels. Ranma blurred and vanished just as Genma shouted.

"Saotome Final Attack-RUN-AWAY..." He made it about four steps before he ran into a wall and fell to the ground, Genma looked up into his son's eyes and gulped when he saw the fires of rage that burned there.

"N-now son...don't be to hasty, w-we can talk this out..." Genma tried as started to crawl away, he had to get the boy to follow him back to the Tendo Dojo where they could both wear him down and make him marry one of Soun's girls.

"Oh really? Like what old man? How about engaging me against my will to yet another girl? Oh, I know, you want to sell me for some food right? Did you steal something and now you need me to take the blame while you run away?" Ranma's tone was ice cold, then he glared at the old man. The fool went into full coward mode with the 'Crouch of the Sleeping Tiger' or something like that and started bowing and scrapping as he babbled about doing anything to live. Ranma had heard it dozens of times in the past, it was how the fool had managed to engage him to some of the girls, by giving away his son's life so that the could escape. Ranma had this sudden desire to blow him out of existence and wondered for a brief second whether Vegeta was right after all. Then had a better idea and grinned as he turned to Ukyo. "Hey Ukyo, you want first crack at my old man, I wont interfere at all, he deserves it after all? It seems there is quite a bit he needs to answer for after all, that's why I no longer follow him around."

Revenge on Ranma was one thing, but she was smart enough to know that only a tiny bit of blame could be leveled at a small kid. The real person she had to kill was Genma, he deserved so much more pain and suffering. "Sure...I think I would like that very much" Ukyo said with an evil grin, there was nothing she could do to hurt Ranma anyway, but there was nothing that said his father would be the same and beating on the fool was always fun for a bit of stress relief. She turned the grin on Genma and watched as he glared up at her, it was a look that made her feel all gooey inside. She pulled another giant spatula from stuff space and advanced on him slowly.

Genma cringed at the tone of voice and scooted a few feet away before Ukyo launched at him, that danmed giant spatula raised high. He had a quick flashback of the last beating he had taken from Ukyo just weeks before, he wasn't going to be caught by surprise like that again. He suddenly knew he was going to have to use his Sealed Techniques, so he didn't hesitate to launch a sudden volley of vacuum blades as he jumped into the air. Landed on a nearby roof and started running. They were on top of Ukyo before he could dodge, the spatula came around and managed to shield him from most, but a couple of them got through and slammed into his shirt as he tried to dodge them, ripping it to shreds in an instant, this was quickly followed by a weird binding that was wrapped around his chest.

Everyone gasped at seeing something that shouldn't have been there, Ukyo just looked down in shock at what happened. Genma was long gone by the time everyone had enough wits about them to even think about going after him. As for Ranma he was gawking at his old buddy Ukyo's tits, they were hanging out for all to see, she had a nice large set too. Ranma smirked, it was obvious that Ukyo didn't have a clue what had happened as she stood there gasping for air and making them heave up and down. A good number of the boys, those that weren't hurt from attacking hurricane Akane were drooling, they didn't get to see live ones very often.

"YOU'RE A GIRL!!" Akane screamed. Her common sense said 'Duh!' but her ego stomped it down again, buried it, and tried to make sure it wouldn't come back. This was an insult to Akane's femininity in it's opinion, there would be hell to pay.

"Huh?" Ukyo said, she was still to shocked to think straight.

"Ukyo...you're a girl? Now it all makes sense!" Ranma said just a bit of Ki burst over his head, it was shaped like a weird looking light bulb, he slammed his fist into his palm and nodded. "Especially when Pop asked me which I liked better, you or Okonomiyaki, that explains why he ran off with the Yatti all those years ago. He told me it was a gift too."

Ukyo was still confused, though several of the drooling boys in the crowd weren't, they were, well...showing. "Huh?"

"I thought you were a boy." Ranma said. "Did you ever visit a this place in China?"

"How stupid can you be?" Ukyo muttered. "I've always been a girl you idiot! How could you not know, we took baths together at the river!"

"I can see that now." Ranma said with a smirk, he saw several camera's appear and take pictures of Ukyo as she stood there, she still hadn't figured out what was going on.

YOU'RE A GIRL!!" Akane screamed again, she just couldn't seem to grasp the idea for some reason, even though there was ample evidence right under her nose.

"So let me get this straight, you thought I was a boy...and he had you make a choice between food or me...and that jerk knew you would take food over me...you never turn down food, your stomach wont let you." Ukyo said. "We were supposed to be married you Jackass!!" She snapped and jiggled nicely.

"Married!" Ranma yelled, his eyes went red and he suddenly felt like he could go straight to SSJ 3 with little problem at all. He had never been so angry at his father as he was at that one moment. That old far was going to find out what hell was like the instant he got his hands on him. "HE SOLD ME OFF TO THREE DOZEN DIFFERENT PEOPLE!" Ranma yelled back.

"Three dozen people!" Akane and Ukyo yelled.

"Yeah, they were all for food too!" Ranma said, then turned back to Akane. "Now I remember where I heard of the Tendo name, you're from the Tendo dojo, that place Pop told me I would be mine when I was older. If I remember right, I lost the stupid thing in a card game about ten years ago or so it doesn't matter all that much." Ranma muttered as he scratched his chin in thought.

"You lost my families dojo in a card game!?" Akane yelled, unable to believe such a thing.

"I was there sugar, he used that in a card game with some con man named the Gambler King. He was cheat though so we tricked him, tied him up, and tossed him into a nearby river, the jerk almost lost everything I owned too." Ukyo snapped and bonked Ranma over the head with her spatula.

"What did you do that for?" Ranma asked as he glared at his old friend.

Then Genma, who has already proved that he is possessed of a stupidity way beyond anything a normal person could have achieved; appeared right next Ranma and yelled in his ear at the top of his lungs. "Ranma, you will marry a Tendo and fulfill family honor!"

"Old man, you are pushing me to far." Ranma growled as he slapped the old man away and turned to look at him. His eyes full of cold fury that made Genma back off couple of steps in fear, but this only lasted a couple of seconds while he found his spine again.

"You coward, you will do as I say or else!! What are you, some kind of pathetic little girl?!" Genma's mouth shot off; his eyes actually seemed to look down his face and cringe at what he had just said. Proving that Genma has the same problem as Ranma when it comes to running at the mouth, it had to be a family trait.

Ranma screamed in rage, he'd only been angry with the old man until now. He had been through hell, nearly been killed and take on monsters that could blow up planets if you ticked them off and this little peon was calling him names and telling him what to do?! With a burst of yellow light and a snarl of rage he suddenly went SSJ and ripped the ground into large chunks of destructions for ten feet in all directions. His hair turned yellow and his aura exploded outward with enough force to blow Akane and Ukyo off their feet, but he didn't even notice as he rounded on the object of his rage and attacked. The blow was so fast that no one could actually see it, but when they saw Genma flying clear across the city an instant later. Then followed by about thirty Ki blasts that were locked onto his Ki aura just to make sure he didn't come back anytime soon, they started to understand. "I don't want to get married, and I won't have anything like this shoved down my throat just to make you more comfortable." Ranma said with a snarl.

"Okay..." Ukyo said from where she was laying, she still hadn't noticed her shirt was wide open to the world and Ranma's aura had knocked her for another loop. "Can we start over and be friends again? I see I didn't have the whole story..." She sounded just a little nervous as she edged away from him.

"Sure Ucchan." Ranma said and smiled at her, he liked the view as well, she was pretty cute for a crossdressing assassin, but who was he to complain.

Ukyo seemed to sag with relief, then noticed the saddened look Akane was giving her, it looked like the girl had just lost her best friend or something. "Akane?"

"Um...Ukyo..." Akane said and started playing with her fingers and looking at the ground nervously.

"Is there something wrong Akane?"

"Ukyo, you had better cover yourself up." Ranma said, then smirked. "I like the view though."

"Huh?" Then she looked down and screamed when she saw that her tits had been bare to the world for some time now. "AGHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"

Half the male audience groaned as they realized the free show was over. Except for one moron, but that was because he could have been committed and barely noticed. "Foul demon from hell, you can not have Akane nor the well endowed angel beside you!" Kuno suddenly yelled, his confused mind completely forgetting what Ranma had just done and one other detail.

Ukyo was about to slam the moron into the ground for ogling her, but Ranma didn't even look as he pointed his hand at Kuno and threw a Ki blast. Then realized that he was still in super mode at the last second and tried to reduce the blast. He turned just in time to see Ukyo and Akane diving for cover as Kuno was caught in the stomach by the blast and sent flying though one end of the school and out the other. Being just a bit explosive, the Ki blast obliterated the empty school, everyone had ran for it earlier when he blew up the building across the street. It was a massive explosion though, he couldn't help but smirk at his hand work for a few seconds before admitting that he'd just screwed up again.

"Oops. That's the second school I've done that to in as many days, I really should call myself the Great School Destroyer or something." Ranma said sheepishly. "That guy is not dead is he? I can still feel his Ki on the other side of the explosion from where it's buried under the rubble, man he can really take a hit."

Then a couple of girls in Jubaan High uniforms came running into what was left of Furinkan's front quad and looked around. "Ranma!!" Usagi yelled as she and Makoto ran up.

"Saotome what the hell have you done now?" Makoto yelled.

"Hey Usagi, looks like I did it again." Ranma said, he actually looked a little embarrassed as he gazed at the smoldering ruin.

"Is there anyway you can tone those Ki bolts down a little, there aren't going to be any schools left if you keep this up?" Usagi asked in an exasperated tone, though there was a little hint of pleasure in her tone as she thought about not going to school anymore.

"Not really, that fighting style was developed for gaining and using as much power as you can get away with, subtly doesn't really exist when it comes to this style. Of course I've taken on some freaks, weirdoes, aliens and robots that could be hit with something like that and come away with little or no damage, those are always the best fights, always a good challenge." Ranma said.

"You've fought things that can take shots like that and not get hurt?" Ukyo gasped as she sauntered over to one of the nearby male students and clocked a guy over the head with her giant spatula when he was distracted, stole his jacket, and used it to cover herself up. She left the twitching body on the ground and wandered back over to where Ranma was still talking.

"Yep, I doubt even the Sailor Senshi could stand up to guys that could blow up whole planets for the fun of it." Ranma said.

"Blow up whole planets?" Everyone yelled.

"Yep, it's not all that hard once you learn how." Ranma said casually.

Everyone facefaulted.

"What?"

***

Nodoka Saotome sighed as she sat at her dinning room table and sipped some tea, she was happy her son was home after all these years, but he was a little too head strong. He had abilities that amazed her more and more, and every time he pulled something new out of his little bag of tricks it seemed to be totally devastating to his enemies. He could use his Ki, something that Genma was able to do a well, but Ranma did it on a whole new level and with a flare that her husband couldn't have duplicated with cue cards and instructions that detailed every little action. This had a down side though, he tended to attract attention from the worst people at school, he had no control it seemed. He had blown up two schools in two days and been permanently expelled from going to any other schools in the area, Furinkan was the last option and it was now a pile of smoking rubble.

There wasn't a school in Japan that would take him now and that meant she would have to take steps to get him educated in some other way. She had been a bit surprised to find that he had sent her husband flying across Japan as easily as throwing a foot ball, she had refused to pay the hospital bills though. He also seemed to have lots of girls that were interested in him, they followed him around at all hours of the day and night just to get a peek at him. She frowned as this behavior reminded her that on several occasions she had tried to see just what kind of 'potential' he had to his future wife, but he wouldn't let her see him with his pants down. He was her son, she had a right to know how manly he was at any age.

He more than qualified for the 'Man Among Men' stipulation though, she had burned that contract the first chance she got after he got home, but he was hard to read at times and had been on his own for so long that he was completely independent. Nodoka sighed, she wasn't really a mother anymore, her son was growing up and if things kept going at this pace he was going to be in prison soon, that was manly, but not the kind of manly she wanted from him. It would keep Ranma away from all those girls that had been coming around lately, at any moment she expected them to start camping out o the lawn just so they could get a chance to peek at him in the furo. She just didn't know what to think of all this as she sat waiting for the police to show up for her son. Maybe she could 'sacrifice' herself to the police for her son's sake, it was a mothers duty to make sure her children were successful in life after all.

Ranma wandered into the house and wondered why his mom had that silly grin on her face again; he decided to ignore her when she cooed and giggled a bit and started muttering about law abiding stud muffins. Then shrugged it off as kind of typical for his mother, she was weird and he didn't know what to think of her. On several occasions she had told him to 'test' the girls that were chasing him and hand him a box of condoms with that same silly grin on her face and a leer. Being around her when she was in this mood was not a good idea, she always tried to get him to drop his pants to prove his manliness to her. He was bored, but not that bored and interrupting his mother when she was in NC-17 land was just not a good idea. He turned to other more important matters as he slipped out of the house, his father was being kept in a hospital all the way over in Kobe while his extensive injuries were being taken care of.
They had him in a full body cast and everything. He wanted poster sized pictures of the old fart to tack on a convenient target so he had to hurry before he healed enough to break out of the hospital and sneak away without paying. That was why he was also going to make sure he stayed there for a while longer, but before he did that he decided to see if he would leave him alone now. It was a bit of a long shot, the man was a moron after all and didn't know how to keep a promise, but who knew, he might have knocked some sense into him. He was also kind of hoping that someone would stop by and try to destroy the Earth, he needed something to pound on and give him a challenge again, the local fighters were pathetic. There was always one person or another doing this in the other world where he had spent several years training and fighting with all the Z fighters.

***

Back in Nerima, at the Tendo Dojo, Akane was beginning to realize that she was scared out of her mind as she went to bed that night and hoped that she could avoid that monster Ranma from now on. She wanted nothing to do with him no matter what her father was saying about this silly engagement, luckily he was in Kyoto retrieving his Genma from that hospital he had ended up at. Akane could easily remember watching the moron being sent flying into the sky for irritating Ranma with threats to marry her, he could blow up planets if he wanted to and she had a feeling he wasn't lying. She shivered and kind of hoped that neither her father or Uncle Genma came back anytime soon, there was no way she was going to marry someone that scared her like Ranma did.

She shivered uncontrollably and fought back tears as her title as the strongest fighter grew wings and flew away. It flew out the window and into the sky, was eaten by a bird who suddenly developed an attitude and promptly challenged a truck to a game of chicken to prove that it was the best. It was very surprised when it's head went out it's asshole and if failed to prove itself to be the best there was. At the same time Akane's ego was shivering in the one of the dark corners of her mind and huddling with her common sense, they were sharing sake and getting worse by the minute.

***
A few blocks away Ukyo lay in her own bed and went over the fight in her head as well, one thing in particular kept popping into her head, why in the world did Ranma have a tail wrapped around his waist? No one else seemed to notice that he had one, but they had been looking elsewhere after all. Even Akane hadn't noticed that the thing had been coming out of the back of his pants to wrap around his waist. Thinking back she was positive that he hadn't' had one all those years ago when they were just children, so where had it come from? She also took a few minutes to remember the faces of those guys that had taken pictures of her after she had lost her shirt, they would get theirs too, she growled angrily. She absently twirled a mini spatula, getting revenge against Ranma was out of the question, he was way to strong for her to kill and doing so would only cause problems anyway.

Slam!!

The mini spatula quivered, embedded in the dart board on the wall that had a hand drawn picture of Ranma on it, she rolled over and thought about changing the picture. She had several candidates in mind and not one of them had a clue. She yawned, adjusted her see through silk nightey and wiggled a bit to let everything settle in place, tossed her dirty clothes in the hamper and she went to bed. Her father was going to pay for making her pretend to be a boy all these years. Genma would pay for abandoning her and ruining her life. Ranma was off the hook for now, but he was a Saotome so who knew how long it would be before he had to pay for something...she reached out from under the covers to grab the giant spatula that she kept beside the bed and rolled over with a scream and flattened the pink and white clothes hamper that had sprung up beside her normal blue one. Tsubasa the cross dressing freak ninja had just paid for ogling her while she was getting ready for bed.

Kuno would pay for calling her a lesbian in need of manly loving to cure her of this obsession with a real man's clothes.

Akira down the street would pay for...and so it went until she fell asleep and Tsubasa, dressed in a glow in the dark white and pink taffeta dress, lots of ribbons, and a wide brimmed hat, crawled out of the room groaning in pain and dragging his crushed hamper with him. It was stuck to his foot, but it was dragged all the same. He swore that he would prove is love to Ukyo in a way she would never forget, but first he had to get to the hospital and get his spine realigned for tomorrows try.

***

Sailor Pluto had one thing on her mind, finding that perverted bastard that had set this whole mess in motion and shoving a Dead Scream right up his ass! She had been trying to find the exact spot where Ranma's life changed and he became this monster that was ripping the time lines to shreds, but something was blocking the gate and it was getting on her nerves. She had never encountered any kind of power that could block the time gates like this, usually she could get a glimpse of something no matter how small. In the last few days everything had gone to hell, all her centuries of work and careful planning had started to fall apart, unraveling at the edges and ripping up entire sections of her carefully stitched together plan to bring back the Silver Millennium. All because of this over powered idiot and his bulging muscles! She had spent ten thousand years working towards her goal to have this punk show up and screw the time stream up so completely that there was even a chance for him to actually marry the future Queen of Crystal Tokyo, fall in love, and have kids was enough to make her puke.

The time gate kept showing her things she didn't want to see, like her and Endymion living together and happy. She liked that future, but not at the expense of her dream, she would not allow this bastard to stop her now. "No way in HELL!!" She snarled out loud. "AGHAAAAAAAA!!!"

She had no idea what Ranma thought of Usagi at the moment and didn't really care, she would stop him no matter what she had to do. A little snip when he was asleep and he would never be a threat again, she giggled at the thought of pickling and saving it for a trophy. Even if she had to break the rules of her office to set things right, this was time travel after all and she could control it better than any one in existence. The bastard seemed to walk down the street generating chaos with his very presence, twisting the time line around like it was a thin piece of paper. This meant that practically anything could happen when he was around; she had seen one time line that almost merged with this one that had Endymion turn female and running around in this out fit that even made her blush in shock. The fucking thing had even been a Hentai line where she was a shape changer like the Starlights and had to peruse a prudish Usagi in a wild lesbian relationship because she couldn't maintain her male form for more than ten minutes.

She shuddered.

It had been gross and disgusting in ways that just couldn't be described, she had almost let it go ahead just because there was a better chance of it producing Crystal Tokyo than hers currently did. All of this was because of Ranma Saotome and his chaos generating presence, the Scout of Time doubted that she could kill him though, that had already been tried and failed completely. Their best shots just bounced off his chest, she wondered for a second if there was anything Saturn might be able to do, but quickly ruled that out since she took five minutes to charge of a blast. Using the gate to kill him in the past wouldn't help her much either, not with the Ranma running around in the present, the gate had safeguards against such a thing. Damn all the creators of this stupid thing, he was ruining her perfect plan, they were so close and that next step was just to far away to reach.

Though if she remembered right there was one being that could possibly take care of him, but letting Him loose would cause a bigger mess than Ranma ever could. No, there were other ways to handle this right now, but it would mean taking a chance that was less dangerous than using Him. Ranma had enemies from when he was younger, she had been able to figure that much out, one in particular was supposed to be his main rival up until the day Ranma was to be killed on his twenty third birthday by a fiancee. His face shoved through a concrete floor from multiple blows to the head from a hammer, Pluto wanted to smirk, it was such a beautiful sight. To bad this particular 'death' had been averted when he vanished from the time stream a couple of months ago, now he was putting out so much chaos that tracking his recent history was nigh impossible.

That didn't matter though, she had been doing this for ten thousand years and would succeed no matter what it took, while at the gate she had all the time in the world to make a plan that would help her out. Focusing her will on the gate once more she brought up an image of Ranma's past rival and looked him over, he was strong for his age, but that could be altered easily, she just had to set him on the right path. She brought the incredible power of the Time Gate to bare on him, found the perfect time line to send him to, and changed the whole pattern of history, Ryoga Hibiki left the earth at the tender age of thirteen, just two months after failing to show up for a duel with Ranma. He had no clue that he had just been set down a path to ultimate power and that when he returned he would destroy Ranma with ease.

She cackled for a few minutes, then stops when she notices that something was wrong. "What in the hell is he doing there, I placed him right on top of it and he wanders off and vanishes from my time sight completely?" Pluto muttered.

"WHERE IN THE HELL AM I NOW!!" Ryoga's voice echoed out from the Time Gate.

"Oh great, he's one of those idiots!!" Pluto whimpered as she slammed her head into the gate a few times.

"RANMA SAOTOME THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT YOU JERK!!"

"Well at least that was easy to set up." Pluto sighed, at least one part of her plan was working. Then she grins as another idea occurs to her and focusing the Time Gate again, it would take a bit of planning, but if she played her cards right she would have Ranma out of her hair permanently.

She couldn't resist the urge to start cackling like some kind of deranged Anime Villian, it was perfect in every way. Except one, it would take a lot of work and time, years to set up, but if it worked the rewards would be worth ever bit of lost sleep and migrane this would cause. Ranma Saotome would be a threat to Crystal Tokyo no longer, he wouldn't even be around to damage the Time Steam in the first place. Now to set her third plan in motion and if everything went right any one of these actions would lead to Ranma's destruction and Crystal Tokyo would be safe once more.

"BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH...Cough, cough, hack, ...hehe HAH AHAHAHAHAHAH!!"

For a third time she focuses on the Time Gate and begins to set her plan in motion, the first step would be way to easy to pull off. All she needed to so was find the perfect moment to do it, after several minutes she finds it and plunges through the door and into the Time Steam. Once she is immersed in the time corridor she focuses on her destination and starts to run. Behind her the Goddess Urd steps out of the fog that surrounds the Time Gate at all times, she is looking a little confused, then frowns ever so slightly as she access her powers to see what Pluto is doing this time. Blocking her efforts to screw up Ranma's life was turning out to be a full time job, she would have to take other measures to get the woman to calm down and work with Ranma. Pluto refused to see the truth for what it was and seemed bent on destroying everything around her just for the sake of her dream, something that Urd would not let happen no matter what. The Silver Millennium had been a time of peace, prosperity, and a few other things that she didn't want to think about.
The gate lights up and shows her most of Pluto's upcoming plans and she crosses her arms, and taps her foot angrily as she tries to understand. It seemed Pluto had a bit of skill after all, well she would make sure that the girl didn't get away with this now that she knew what was going on. It was to late to reverse things though, so she just narrowed her eyes a bit and the Gate starts to glow even more as she brings he own power to bare upon the thing. She had helped create the thing after all. The gate resists for several seconds, but in the end a full powered Goddess with no restraints on. The Time Gate focuses in on a certain time just recently and the scene being shown alters ever so slightly, Urd smirks as she relaxes and sets her new plan in motion. When one can't beat an enemy, one has to work along with them in such a way to prevent them from winning. Sometimes this kind of thing was to easy, but she did have lots of practice. Pluto wouldn't have noticed anything wrong unless she was looking for it and at that moment she was to busy gloating over her plans to notice the almost invisible ripples that echoed down the time corridor.

***

It was early afternoon, the weather was perfect with few clouds and no rain over the city and kids were out in the streets playing. When the white orb rocked out of the clouds and strafed the city and few of the people noticed that it was heading for Jubaan. As it passed in front of some skyscraper, over police cars, and knocked the three story antenna off the local IHV2P Radio station, people began to take notice of the thing. A good number of people, especially in Nerima and Tomobiki shrugged it off as nothing new and went back to watching the local soap opera that was life. A few martial artists looked up at the flying orb and paled as they sensed some kind of power coming from it, but they had no idea what it meant to them, only that it was a kind of power that they had never felt before. They all breathed a sigh of relief after it vanished in the distance and prayed that whoever was inside that thing didn't decide to come back and bother them.

It was also picked up and recorded by several different secret agencies scattered across the world, some of them were military, some were private, and the last and most note worthy were the news stations that plastered a 'Live' tag on it and sent the picture around the would. This wasn't all that important, but one guy named Kent Brockman from Springfield in the United States had the most notable reaction, though by now it was kind of expected for those that knew him. He was in his mid fifties, in a business suit, and had white hair in a dashing sort of way.

He shuffled his papers and read through the first page before he looked up at the camera and frowned. "This is Kent Brockman and I have just been informed that a strange alien craft has been sighted flying over Tokyo, Japan a few minutes ago. We now transfer you to a live picture of said UFO with it's grainy and barely recognizable images as you are once again duped into believing in little green men from mars. Ted?"

A picture, perfectly clear right down to being able to see the door seams on the craft as it flies over head appears on the monitor. "Thank you Kent, we have a scene here unlike any in history as...an alien...alien.." Kent Brokman, professional new caster and local comic relief pales in shock and stares at the camera for several seconds, realizes that it is a real live picture and not a hoax like the thought it was, and starts to chant aliens over and over again.

Kent Brokman screams like a girl and the camera's all shift back to him as he suddenly jumps up on the desk, strips all his clothes off, and starts screaming all over again while laying there and gyrating for the camera in an insectoid like manner. (An interesting sight for a man in mid fifties). Certain areas are hastily covered up with a blue dot, but the rest of him is there in all it's...glory.

Hurk.

"ALL HAIL OUR MANTIS OVER LORDS!!!!!"

"I'M THE PERFECT SNITCH AND WILL WILLINGLY GIVE MY WIFE TO YOU FOR MY SAFETY!!"

"Kent..." One of the producers tried. They usually tried to stop him, but for some reason Kent could triple ratings for the station every time he did this. "Oh well..." They didn't know what was scarier, that kind of mind that could do things like this, or the people that watched it for the comedy angle.

"MY DAUGHTER IS STILL A VIRGIN, YOU CAN HAVE HER NEXT!!"

"My god, what's he doing to tha...AHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!! GET HIM OFF THE CAMERA, GET HIM OFF, IT CAN'T TAKE THAT KIND OF ABUSE!!!" Something gross waved in front of the front lens before a testing pattern comes up and proves that this is a pretty typical day in Springfield...^_^;;

"Ay Carumba!"

***

Ranma was doing what he always did when he a few minutes of free time, he was practicing. Bouncing all over the yard like a grasshopper loaded down with several hundred pound weights, going a mile a minute and leaving after images that followed after him with perfect symmetry. Half a year training under Tien had been quite an eye opener to Ranma, the guy knew a number of styles that had been lost in this world. The after images showed him in a series of attack positions during each of the high speed kata he was performing. A punch here, a kick there, and a whole set of other things that defied the imagination. Akane had accused him of showing off earlier, but he had ignored her as he picked up speed and started glowing. He even had his swords out and was taking the time to practice with them a little more, they were a little useless unless he needed their special enhancements, bit they did the job.

He ignored the fact that his mother, Usagi, Akane, and Ukyo were all watching him train with looks of shock, anger, and pride on their faces. When she had shown up earlier and saw that her family yatti was there in the back yard she had gone into a kind of delirious dream and had the thing cleaned up, fixed, and making food in about ten minutes. She had passed some out to everybody, hugged him happily, and called her dad to tell him where to shove his living life as a boy crap. She had instantly donned a dress that would have made Tsubasa cringe a little and danced around the yard as she passed out food and sang American Musical songs. Ranma did what he could to ignore his old friend and was glad she was happy, so he just practiced and tried to shrug off the feeling that eh was being watched by several girls inside the house, out on the street, and hiding in the bushes along the wall. Even after all this time he still got bored with weapon training and took a break after an hour or so before tossing them back in his sub space pocket and going back to hand to hand practice.

He hadn't powered down from going SSJ earlier, so he still had his heavier build and blonde hair, green eyes, and a slightly large than normal eye brows. All the girls had thought he was so handsome, and strong, and manly, so who was he to complain if they wanted to watch? The girls had never seen him in this form before so he had been showing off for them by moving at a much slower rate, he grinned when Akane stomped off in a huff, Mr. Tendo had forced her to come over here to get to know him. He wasn't sure why she had agreed to come over though, she had told him that the chances of them getting married were impossible since she had someone else in mind and it didn't include him and his freaky powers. Ranma didn't know what to think of that, but she seemed to be to much of a spoiled brat for him to take seriously anyway so he did what he always did to a girl he didn't like, he ignored her. He turns to the girls and smiles just as his senses pick up a large power source heading his way, looking into the sky behind him he sees a white orb descending out of the sky.

The fact that it comes in for a soft landing and doesn't produce a large crater surprises him more than the landing itself. He turns to face the pod and recognizes it as a Saiyan Space Pod, one of the old models that Vegeta had described in some of his stories back in the other universe, it was just like the one in the Capsule Corporation vault. Then Ranma grinned, could this be a threat to his world, something that could blow up whole planets and give him a decent fight? He watched as the door opened and depressurized the pod by letting out a lot of air, he stepped forward to protect his family as a black spiky haired girl stepped out and looked around in confusion, she looked to be about a year younger than Ranma and had on a full set of Saiyan body armor decorated with little hand drawn swirls and odd looking faces. She had more muscles than most body builders, spiky black hair, and an arrogant, but confused smirk on her face as she spotted him.

She looked right at Ranma and pointed. "You're a Super Saiyan!"

"Yeah, so what?" Ranma said.

His mother frowned at him for using such bad language with a girl, Ukyo and Usagi just looked on in confused before they shrugged and quickly finished off their okonomiyaki before Ukyo pulled out some throwing spatulas from her frilly apron. Usagi on the other hand wanted to run around the side of the house and transform, but so far she knew that everyone was safe with Ranma there to protect her..them, and this little girl didn't look all that dangerous to her anyway. Then the girl did the one thing that would make things even worse in a situation like this. "My name is Salen, I'm the last living Princess of the Saiyan and you will marry me or else!!"

"What?!!" Yelled several nearby girls, bushes and trees all sprouted legs and hair as Ranma's admirers shot to their feet and growled. They weren't about to sit around and let some hussy just waltz in and take their boyfriend from them.

Ranma rolled his eyes and sighed. "It's way, way to early for that kind of crap girl, so back off on the idea of marrying me, I have about three dozen other women that want to marry me as it is, I don't want to get married at the moment. I want to try dating people first."

"Three dozen?" Salen asked, she really didn't seem to care about the number of girls Ranma was talking about, she would win after all, she was Saiyan and they only lost once. "Any other surprises I should know about?"

Ranma threw his arms up in the air in exasperation. "Yep, and I'm a Jurarian Prince too, though I could care less about that." Ranma said, not really caring about being alien royalty.

Salen clapped her hands and danced a little jig and tried to glomp Ranma, but he just moved out of the way, hit the ground hard enough to leave a Salen shaped hole in the ground. "Then you can marry two or more women, Jurarian nobility is allowed to have multiple wives!" Salen said with a smirk and eyed him hungrily as she climbed out of the hole.

"MULTIPLE WIVES?!" All the girls yelled at once and seemed to turn on him with a strange glint in their eyes, they all smirked and it sent chills down Ranma's back.

"I can? That's just great, now everyone's going to get weird ideas and blame them on me if they fail." Ranma said, he knew that this little revelation was going to cause some major problems. He really needed to sit down and have a long talk with his grandfather over this little development, it wasn't like he wasn't already in enough trouble for blowing up two different schools in the last two days.

Then of course his day went from bad to worse when one of the property walls exploded in a pile of stone and mortar, a familiar looking purple haired Amazon stepped through the dust to glare at Ranma. She looked him over for several seconds, taking her time to walk around him and see every angle available, before asking in a confused tone of voice. "Do you have a sister?"

Ignoring Salen, who had decided to latched onto him like a barnacle, in favor of this girl, Ranma turned to look her over and thought he had finally gotten a real looker. For some reason he hadn't bothered to notice that she was good looking when she was chasing across China trying to kill him. She had a great body and it was obvious that she had some serious power for a girl, those bonbori she was holding so casually looked like they weighed about a hundred pounds a piece. Then he considered her question for a second and recalled even more details of where he had seen her before. "My Sister? Oh, that was a curse from that place about half a day from your village, the one with all those magical pools."

"Jusenkyo?" She asked carefully.

"Yeah, that's the place. I wish I had never gone there." Ranma muttered and shuddered.
"So you is really a boy?" Shampoo asked, her face set in a cute pout as she absently patted his chest.

A number of female witnesses growled.

"Yes." Ranma said and rolled his eyes, it wasn't like it wasn't obvious...then got a surprise as the girl seemed to vanish. He looked around and froze in shock as she appeared in front of him and kissed, rubbed her curvy body against his, and shoved her tongue down his throat. Salen on the other side started to give some pointers to the girl and looking her over with a practiced eye, but considering what most Saiyans were, it was unknown if this was a good thing or a bad thing. She was thinking this one would make a good second wife for a human, she looked a little weak, but a few months of training would cure her of that little problem.

"Airen so powerful" Shampoo said dreamily, she thought about undoing his pants to see how much of a man he was, but that could wait for few hours yet.

"Urk!!" Ranma tried to say as several angry women turned an evil eye on him."H-Husband?" Ranma said, knowing a little Chinese.

"You beat Shampoo and Shampoo must marry you. Is law, Shampoo so happy to get strong husband!! Had almost given up on wimps back in village ever being able to beat her in a fight." Shampoo squealed and rubbed herself up against him again.

Grope!

"Urk...can't b-breath..." Ranma said and started to turn pale.

"My son is so manly!" Nodoka gushed, he certainly knew how to find the good looking one's too. Maybe one of these girls could help keep him out of prison now, who knew when the police were going to show up?

"I think you have to get in line you little hussy!!" Salen yelled as she saw the girl taking advantage of her boyfriend. "His father engaged him to about three dozen other women, and I want to marry him since he's a Super Saiyan! Wait your turn!"

"Die Bitch!!" One of the on lookers screamed and tried to bean the purple haired hussy with a bat, but Shampoo just twisted out of the way of the clumsy attack and continued to rub certain portions of her body against Ranma to show him what she had to offer. Just like she had been taught back in the village, no man could resist an Amazon for long, she had been taught things to make a man roll over a beg. No male could resist the moves for long according to her great grandmother Cologne and she intended to test all them out by the end of the week. It would mean going without sleep, but with a husband like this she didn't mind in the least.

Rub, rub, pinch.

"Hey!" Ranma yelled.

Inside the house Nodoka was in heaven, basking in her son's magnificence and manly behavior since he was attracting so many good looking girls to him like flies to honey. Oh if only he could have them all, she wondered how many of them he had taken to bed already and if she had any grand children on the way already. He could take as many mistresses as he wanted, any wife that took him would have to accept that as part of the marriage, no son of hers would be forced into a single girl marriage. She sighed happily and passed out with a big grin on her face.

Ranma was having similar thoughts, though his were along the lines of wondering why he was attracting all these women like flies to a giant dung heap. Then he recalled his cousin Tenchi and all the girls that had become somewhat attached to him over the last couple of years, Ayeka, Ryoko, even Sassami. He wondered if it was something genetic, something in their blood, or maybe the Jurarian part of their heritage that was influencing all these batty females. Ranma glanced over at the slowly growing fight that all the girls were having and had a sudden feeling that Usagi, Ukyo and maybe even Akane, even with all her denials, had also fallen in love with him. Ranma knew he might as well date all the women if they were going to drop into his life like missiles and cause all this damage...hell, he might actually fall in love with one of them if he was lucky.

Now if only Salen and Shampoo would just let go of him and stop touching him there, it was getting distracting.

"Oh, husband is Real man. Much bigger than wimps back in village." Shampoo cooed as Salen decided that the girl had the right idea, no need to be shy with her husband after all.

"Hey, your right!"

"Stop that!" Ranma screamed and slapped their hands away.

***

Urd looked up from her monitor and had a huge grin on her face as she watched the mess that Ranma was being dropped into, she hadn't had this much fun since that practical joke war she had with those demons a few centuries back. She had checked over Ranma's history before picking him for this roll and still couldn't believe the huge mess that Genma's stomach and Ranma's sex appeal had created among all the mortals and it had been made worse when she upped his sex appeal several more notches. This was going to be so fun to watch and as things continued she wondered if it would get better or worse.

"BWHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!"
***

Things were getting worse, eventually he was able to pry the barnacle girl off him and toss her to the side, then the girl that liked to rub herself on him was tossed as well. Ranma tried to fly away and was soon hovering over the house, but Salen saw what he had in mind, bursting into a powerful aura and flying after him with a surge of speed. Shampoo had recovered from her sudden toss as well and was easily keeping up with them as she leaped from rooftop to rooftop, amazed that her husband could fly. In the Saotome's front yard the fight among the local girls continued to escalate into a near riot, though they took a couple of breaks as Nodoka passed out some lemonade and cheered the girls on, she was so proud of her son.

"Airen!! Come back to Shampoo!!"

"Stud Muffin!!"

Ranma looked back with a sweat drop and muttered under his breath. "Great now their starting in with the pet names, their whole pack of Tomboys if you ask me."

"I heard that you Baka!" Akane yelled from the back of the house where she was keeping out of the fight over Ranma, it wasn't like she had asked to be engaged to the pervert and he seemed to like letting everyone know what he was. The womanizing jerk.

Soon they were moving out of the Jubaan area and in the part of town that the infamous Oni princess lived. The location of the Tag Race from a few years back, Tomobiki, and there existed a den of evil and chaos like no other on the planet. Of course this was unknown to any of them as they moved across the district, the only thing Ranma was wondering about was if a Solar Flare attack would help him out in anyway. He looked back to the girls chasing him and doubted it quite a bit, this was beyond weird, since when were girls ever this forward and determined? Wasn't he supposed to be the one doing the chasing while they stood around and giggled at his jokes and inept tries to ask them out? Then he saw a flash of yellow and black and twirled out of the way just as Salen tried to blind side him and ran into something.

"UMMMPH!!"

"AGHAAA!!"

With a squawk she nearly fell out of the air, but managed to catch herself on the edge f a building before crashing into the ground a few stories below. She looked back and yelled at the person she had just run into, intent on giving then a piece of her mind and well placed kick in the ass to make him understand that touching her was a bad idea. "Hey get out of my way you stupid...Lum?" Salen said as she rose back into the sky, she had forgotten about Ranma completely as she took a closer look at her enemy. Lum was on her hands and knees shaking her head, she had landed on a nearby fire escape after falling out of the sky.

"Salen?! What in the hell are you doing here, I won't let you destroy this world and my Darling!" Lum yelled and suddenly threw out a massive bolt of lightning at the Saiyan girl.

"Ouch...that stings..." Salen said as she let go of the edge of the roof, hovered, and looked a bit annoyed at the Oni girl. Then she flared with energy and vanished, only to knock Lum into the pavement below them with a well placed palm smash to her back and an evil laugh. Can't forget the patented insane Saiyan laugh to chill an enemies blood as you break them into little bitty pieces. As she moved to land, Salen wondered why her danger sense was going off all of a sudden, it wasn't like Lum was that much of a threat laying on the ground like that, but she couldn't see anything that could harm her. Then Ataru, the nightmare, came out of nowhere and glomped her, touching her in areas that only Ranma could touch now that she had given him permission to.

Grope!!

"Aghaaaaaaaa!!!!!!" Salen yelled as she pounded the pervert through the street with a single bow.

Shampoo, who had finally caught up with them had to give the boy a nod for good technique and surprise. Then she looked up into the sky where her Airen was hovering way out of reach and wondered how she was going to reach him all the way up there. She knew then that she was going to have to ask for help on this one. She had never heard of a man that could fly before, this was out of her experience.

"Hey you're Lum's fiancee aren't you?" Salen said as she lifted the beaten man out of the hole and took a closer look at him. He grinned at her and seemed to give off this lecherous form of Ki that made her gag. Salen shrugged and vaporized Ataru with a Ki blast right to his chest, she cackled and smirked as the smoke cleared away to show that there was nothing left of the infamous pervert of Tomobiki but a light cloud of descending ash for about ten feet in frond of her hand. "I am the best there is!"

"Darling..." Lum said as she crawled to her knees and started crying like a Tendo. "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"

Ranma was more than a little shocked that this girl had just blown away the guy, even if he had deserved it a little. He knew this was going to ugly so he took cover as quickly as he could. Both alien girls were both giving off powerful auras now that they had something to fight for. Should he run and get some popcorn before the fight started? Even he knew when not to interfere in a fight, he winced as two twin screams of rage echoed behind him and both girls slammed together like a couple of pro wrestlers. Seconds later the world stated to explode and there was nothing he could do to stop it, snacks were out of the question now, he just hoped that they took each other out before they killed anyone else. Diving behind a nearby tree, the best he could find under such short notice, he blinked as he found a short bald headed man in priest robes standing beside him giving him a strange look.

"Most ominous." He said and tapped his staff on the ground to make the little metal rings at the top chime together.

"No shit!" Ranma grumbled as he saw a lightning bolt flash in the distance and a rumble of thunder.

"DIE YOU SAIYAN SLUT!!" Lum screamed as she drew in lightning from the very atmosphere around her, it arched around her body as she slowly turned to face Salen with death written all over her face.

"Oh...scary." Salen said with a smirk as Lum attacked.

***

There wasn't much left of the small side street where the fight had first begun, for Tomobiki this was kind of normal though since things tended to be leveled at least once a year if things had been quiet lately. Ranma watched from behind a nearby tree as the two alien girls used each other as punching bags. The horned girl, Lum if he recalled her name right, had stopped crying over her dead boyfriend and launched into the sky and attacked Salen by yelling out her attack. "ULTRA DIVINE RETRIBUTION!" Lightning arched across her body from those little horns that were peaking out of her green hair and expanded out in a large circle of destruction as it flew out to engulf Salen before she could react. Ranma winced as the girl screamed, but knew as a saiyan she could take this kind of punishment easily.

Salen shrugged off the lightning attack and cackled as she started to glow with power and launched herself at Lum. The Oni and the Saiyan's were blood enemies from way back, there were only a few times that one or the other had met and things didn't degenerate into a full blown battle that hadn't leveled everything in sight. Ranma didn't quite count though, he wasn't a full Saiyan after all, but enough of one to use all their abilities with ease. Salen broke through Lum's lightning storm, grabbed the Oni by the throat and speed slapped her.

"TATATATATATATA!!" Salen yelled gleefully.

Lum's lightning surged again as it changed color and threw a lightning ball at Salen, it exploded into an electricity bomb that broke windows for blocks around and sent Salen to the ground. She was stunned and Lum grinned as the continued to pump out the lightning to fry the girl where she was laying. Salen just shook her head as she climbed to her feet and turned to glare at Lum, brought her hands up as the lightning cascaded around her and formed a pulsing ball of Ki energy. Lum increased the intensity of the electricity, but Salen seemed to ignore it in some way as her hand pushed forward and launched the ball of Ki.

"Die you Oni Slut!" Salen yelled.

The ball flew forward, turning into a beam of energy that lanced out at the speed of light an caught Lum in the chest. She screamed as she was blown backwards through a nearby building and out the other side. Salen laughed that evil Saiyan laugh, floated into the air and took off after Lum to make sure she was going to stay down. In the sky clouds were beginning to form above the city, there were several flashes of lightning as they arched from cloud to cloud. Ranma shook his head and concentrated a bit, his aura flared and made Cherry, who was sitting nearby gape in astonishment. Hiding behind a fire hydrant, Shampoo was definitely beginning to think that she would need her great grandmother's help on this one. She knew she was the best in the village, but these three made her rudimentary Ki abilities look like a first year beginner with no control.

She frowned cutely.

"Die you monkey tailed slut!" Lum yelled in the distance and there was another explosion of electricity that rose into the sky. Ranma could just see Salen flying off, she was caught in the center of the electric storm as she was thrown threw several nearby buildings before she could shake the attack off.

With a shake of his head Ranma decided that he would have to put an end to this, if they had been fighting to themselves or breaking down wall she might have let them continue. It was a great fight and he had never seen and enraged Oni before, they had some serious fire power available if they could go toe to toe with a Saiyan fighter. He climbed to his feet and powered up a bit, Cherry was still gaping at him when he vanished from sight with a pop of displaced air. Ranma's aura had attracted Shampoo who had just noticed him before he vanished, she ran over to the tree a few seconds later.

"Ayah, Shampoo no know husband could do such a thing." She said in awe, she giggled and wondered what the other girls in the village would think when she brought him back to show off.

Ranma appeared in front of Lum, he had just enough time to see her scream in rage and flare with electricity and get back handed hard enough to send him through a nearby building. He crawled out of the rubble and found himself in an apartment as he looked around. It looked like a bedroom of some kind, so he waved to the shocked couple that had the covers held up to their chins and smirked sheepishly. Flaring his aura he hovered into the air again and launched himself out of the hole in the ceiling and back up to where Lum and Salen were trying to rip each other's hair out. Ranma looked down at the ground he could see that these two had destroyed several blocks worth of damage.

He shook his head as he recalled that his old man thought that girls were weak and useless. The old man could never cause this kind of damage both of these girls would wipe the floor with him. They weren't even paying attention to what they were doing, just fighting hard enough to kill each other and breaking everything around them. He flew a little closer, gathered a bit of Ki and was about to let off a Solar Flare attack to blind and distract them when the clouds above them parted and a giant beam of light lanced down from above and illuminated both girls. Blinking in surprise, Ranma looked up to see a guy dressed in a toga flying down from the clouds. He had large white wings on his back that were gently flapping as she descended.

As he got closer Ranma could see that he had Ataru by the scruff of the neck, his arms and legs were bound and there was a gag in his mouth. The Angel, the only thing Ranma could think to call it stopped hovering in front of Lum and glared at her. Lum rushed forward to crush him in a bear hug, she was crying tears of joy as she accidentally shocked him again and again for leaving her like he had.

"You can have the little pervert." The Angel said in disgust and threw his hands up.

"Thank you!!" Lum cried and shocked Ataru again.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever...damned little pervert." The Angel muttered as he vanished in a burst of golden light that took the sun beam illuminating them with it.

Ataru, starting to look a little charred, was happy he was alive again. Then had a thought as he pried Lum's arms off him and looked her in the eye. "Hey Lum, doesn't death nullify our marriage?"

"Yes Darling..." Lum said and sighed when Ataru ran off yelling and jumping.
"I'm free, I'm free! Like the little butterfly!"

Lum was heartbroken and broke down in tears when Ataru ran off. That was when the rest of the Tomobiki crew decided to show up, they saw Lum kneeling on the ground crying and Ataru dancing off in the distance as he glomped a random girl and got slapped. In one giant mass of limbs and anger they took off after him to make him pay for hurting Lum once again and this time nothing was going to stop them from delivering a well deserved beating of a life time. With a huff, Lum stood up and flew after them to a make Darling see the light once again, she was the best choice there was and no body would take him away from her.
Ten appeared and floated along behind her with a dejected look on his face, he wobbled along for a while and completely missed looking at the dark haired Saiyan.

Salen just smirked.
Ranma landed along side Salen and was about to say something when he stopped and looked back toward Jubaan. It was in the direction of his mother's house, he could feel something evil forming over there. He decided that getting home would be a good idea to get home as fast as possible. Something was up and he wanted to see what it was and make sure everyone was safe. "I'm hading back home Salen."
"I can feel it too."
With a flare of energy Ranma launched into the sky with Salen just a few seconds behind him. Down on the ground, Ukyo stopped as they flashed by her and heaved a loud sigh of exasperation, then Shampoo came around the corner, jumped, and used her head as a spring board as she chased after Ranma and that other slut. Gasping for air, Ukyo added another person to her list of Revenge and walked to the corner and took a moment to catch her breath before she raised her arm. Seconds later a cab pulled in next to her and she got in and gave him Ranma's address as she relaxed in the back seat, this was turning out to be one of those days. They were soon on their way and she sighed with relief, she'd ran the whole way here, there was no way she was going to run the whole way back.

**********

To Be Continued..

End Notes - There it is, two brand new chapters of Saiyan No Baka. Now send me praise and swear to warship me. ^_^ Seriously, these were a lot harder to do than I thought they would be and they have gone through tons of rewrites and revisions. I hope everybody likes them as I move on to another story for a while, chapter 3 should be finished eventually, it has a couple of large plot holes in it that I need to work around and fix and it turning into a major pain in the keester.