Ha - here's something different. Got a
plot bunny commuting home from school - this could be Awokenverse, but I wrote
it as a standalone fic. Enjoy.
Disclaimer: XME belongs
to Marvel and the WB/Cartoon Network.
Retrograde
For me to say that I
love Kitty woulld be something you could take may ways. We grew up in the same
city; we've gone to the same schools; hell, her parents used to let me stay
over for dinner when my dad would decide to get drunk and take his temper out
on my mom. I believe it when people say that there are different levels of love
- I see them everyday. Me and KitKat - our relationship went from great to bad
as we got older: we went from childhood friends, to enemies, to a couple, then
*back* to enemies because it seems like the X-geeks and the Brotherhood will
never see eye-to-eye. Now, I don't know what we are, it's just weird, but I
know she doesn't hate me, and I can't hate her.
It's the whole levels of
love thing. In English class, we're going over some old shit like Shakespeare
or Milton or something, and the teach starts jabbering on about love, faculties
of the mind [1], and other crap I'll never need again, but it got me thinkin'.
And I dunno, but ever since I started to really *think* about it, I started to
*see* more stuff and notice more things.
Like how that jerk
Summers not only loves Miss Perfect, but adores her and the ground she walks
on.
Or Daniel's and Speedy's
love-hate relationship. Like me and Kitty: friends to enemies, but thiers
started with rivalry instead of friendship.
Or how the freakshow
looks at Kitty - sure, they're what people consider best friends and all that,
but anyone with half a brain can tell he loves her so much it's pathetic.
God, I sound like such a
wuss, but I can't stop. Almost makes me want to vomit.
Me and Kitty, see, we're
always going to be a part of each other. Maybe not in love, but part of her
will always be with me, just like part of me will always be with her. In some
dark corner of our souls, we're still those two children who met on the
playground in elementary school.
She was my first friend.
Friendship is one of those levels of love, and because she dared to become the
friend of the poor kid who was hated by his own parents, I will always love
her.
Because she is my
friend.
But we can never be more
than that ever again.
Or beliefs are too
different - *we* are too different. We tried it. It didn't work. NOt at least
we know, and we can move on instead of fucking moping around about it.
Levels of love - one of
those is family. The X-men are one; you can tell. What most people can't
understand is that the Brotherhood is one too - we have our fights, our
differences, but we are *still* a family. This family level is hard to figure
out: to me, Kitty is on this level.
Because she decided to
give a shit about my welfare.
Hmph. It seems we're
moving in retrograde. We're going backwards. Maybe one day, she and I can fix
what was broken and be friends again.
Maybe. It just looks too
hard.
Maybe Baldie's right.
Maybe the only way is through peace, love, and all that crap he's always
harpin' about, instead of war.
Or maybe, I just
realized I sound like a total girl.
______________
*FIN*
___________
[1] In a lot of older literature, detailed in Paradise Lost. Basically, it's a chain of thought that goes from Appetite (instinct) to Reason (understanding) to Will (action). Human beings were the only entities on earth believed to possess all three.