Aeris-- *Echo-y* Cloud? Where am I? Where are you?

Cloud--. . . . . . . . .You're in the bathroom, stupid.

Aeris-- HEY! DON'T CALL ME STUPID! I WAS REHEARSING FOR THE PLAY WE ARE GONNA PERFORM AT TIFA'S SURPRISE PARTY!

Cloud-- Shhh! Tifa's gonna be here any minute! Get ready to yell "SURPRISE!"

Aeris-- I know what to do at a surprise party. I've been to more than you will ever go to.

Cloud-- . . . . . . . . . .

Barret-- So, um, in the play, what's my line again?

Everyone-- YOUR LINE?!?!?!?!?!

Cid-- YOU'RE THE ONE DOING MOST OF THE TALKING!!!!!

Barret-- Oh. Well. Um. . . . . . . Who do I play again?

Cid-- YOU'RE THE F*#$ING NARRATOR!

Barret-- Well if you um. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ;_;

Vincent-- What's wrong?

Barret-- ;_;

Aeris-- WHAT?

Barret-- ;_;

Cid-- Jeez. It's as if he $#%$^%*!#@^& ^%^%$^@#^!^ forgot how to talk.

Barret-- *Nods*

Cid-- Well we can teach you! Do this-- *Ahem*

Barret-- *Choke*

Cid-- NO! *Ahem*

Barret-- *Cough*

Cid-- He can't even *ahem*

Barret-- *Cough's up a whole apple* Hey! I can talk again!

Yuffie-- *Disturbed* Riiiiiiight.

*Tifa walks in*

Aeris-- Wha? OH! Uh. . .

All-- SURPRISE!!!!!!!!!

Tifa-- But it's not my birthday.

Aeris-- Yes it is.

Tifa-- No. It's not. You see, my birthday IS today, but not yet.

All-- Huh?

Tifa-- Okay. Let me put it in terms you would easily understand. TODAY is my birthday, but I'm not 21 yet. It is currently *looks at clock* 11:17 am. I was born at 11:19 am. You should have said "surprise" two minutes later. *Shakes her head in disapproval*

Red-- Well, technically Tifa, NO ONE really cares, so, accept your "surprise" or go home.

All: . . . . . . . . . .

Tifa-- Well, since it is now 11:19 am, I guess it is accepted.

Aeris-- Sorry Tifa. We had this GREAT play that I thought up all by myself, but Barret can't remember his lines, so we can't perform it.

Tifa-- *Sarcastically* Oh NO! This is HORRIBLE! I Can't see a play! I'm gonna DIE!

Aeris-- *Sniff* Well you don't have to be so hurtful.

Barret-- We don't care 'bout no stinkin' feelins'.

Red-- Oh my LORD! Barret used DOUBLE-NEGATIVES IN HIS SENTENCE! AERIS' ENGLISH TEACHER WOULD KILL HIM!

Tifa-- Let's party already, before I'm another year older!

*****

*Riiiiiiiiiiing. . . . . . Riiiiiiiiiiing!*

Reeve-- Hello? Oh, hi Lucrecia. . . . . .no I didn't find out about the party until yesterday. . . . . . .

Yes. But I'm way too busy today to even go. You know, with designing new toys for Toys R Us and all.

Huh? Oh, all right. You can come over in fifteen minutes. Yeah. Okay. But don't stay too long. I'm really busy.

Lucrecia-- Well I'm really bored! *Hangs up.*

Reeve-- Doesn't anyone say 'goodbye' anymore?

*16 minutes later*

*Lucrecia walks in*

Reeve-- You're a minute late!

Lucrecia-- Your point is?

Reeve--. . .I dunno.

Lucrecia-- Where do I put my coat?

Reeve-- On a coat hanger, I guess.

Lucrecia-- What coat hanger?

Reeve-- I dunno. . . Find one.

Lucrecia--*Searches frantically for a coat hanger for 2 hours, when finally. . .*

Found one!

Reeve-- Oh! Looks like its time to go. 'S closing time, y'know.

Lucrecia-- But I just got here!

Reeve-- What are you talking 'bout? You've been here for 2 hours! I got an idea. Let's go see if we can make it in time to say happy birthday to Tifa.

*****

Tifa-- This is a great party!

Cloud-- Hey! Listen to the song! *All listen*

Song-- Boys say, Boys say, Hey baby, hey baby, yea!

Cloud-- Tifa, may I have this dance?

Tifa-- *Giggles* I've been waiting for you to say that for years!

Aeris-- *Crying* WAAAAAAAAH! TIFA MADE FUN OF THE FACT THAT I WROTE A PLAY FOR HER! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Red-- *Also crying* And no one is paying attention to me! WAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cid--. . . . . So, Shera. How about you and me dance the night away?

Shera-- Well. . . I was going to iron some clothes first, but I guess so.

*Door bursts open, then shuts*

All-- What was that?

Tifa-- The wind?

Barret-- Oh yeah. I guess so.

*Outside*

Lucrecia-- Hey! We were about to go in! Why'd you shut the door again?

Reeve-- We forgot to buy Tifa a gift!

Lucrecia-- Oh I see.

Reeve-- *Gasp* We gotta go to the store!

Lucrecia-- NO! . . . .NOT THE STORE!

Reeve-- We must.

Lucrecia-- Wait. Why are we making it sound like something horrible?

Reeve-- Because it is.

*Flashback *

One year ago tomorrow, I went to. . . The store! And. . . and . . . and. . .

Lucrecia-- AND?

Reeve-- And. . . They charged me tax!

Lucrecia-- . . . So? They always charge tax.

Reeve-- WOULD YOU STOP INTERRUPTING MY STORY!?!?!? I'M NOT FINISHED YET!!!!

Lucrecia-- Alright, alright.

Reeve-- Anyways, when they charged me tax, I couldn't afford what I was buying. . . . .okay. I'm done.

Lucrecia-- That can easily be helped.

Reeve-- HOW????? TELL ME, YOU FOUL BEAST, OR I'LL RIP YOU TO SHREADS!!!!!!!

Lucrecia-- I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that.

Reeve-- 'kay.

Lucrecia-- *Ahem* Anyhow, now they have $0.99 Stores!

Reeve-- Do they sell actual objects?

Lucrecia-- Yes, silly! We can buy a card, and then just give her money!

Reeve-- Okay! ^_^

I'm thinkin' 100 gil?

Lucrecia-- 100? What can that buy her? Two potions? I'm thinkin' 400!

Reeve-- Okay, but you're handling the money. I'll do the card.

Lucrecia-- What?!?!?! That's not fair! I'll get the card, you do the money!

Reeve-- You do the money!

Lucrecia-- You do the money!

Reeve-- You do the money!

Lucrecia-- You do the money!

Reeve-- You do the money!

After many ties in rock, paper, scissors…

Reeve-- Okay. . .okay. We'll split it 50-50. I'll get the card, which takes 5 gil off my share, and adds 5 to yours.

So I'll pay 195 gill, and you'll pay 205. Got it?

Lucrecia-- All right.

*****

Cloud-- Tifa, Aeris looks bored. I'm gonna dance with her for a while. Is that okay?

Tifa-- Just a little longer?

Cloud-- But you look so tired. You're resting your head on my shoulder. . . -_-

Tifa-- . . .That's because it's so romantic.

Cloud-- @_@

Cloud-- Uh. . . Dance with Zack.

Tifa-- I thought he was dead.

Cloud-- We thought Aeris was, too. But as it turned out, they were just sleeping. Apparently, Aeris floated up

to the top of the water as soon as we walked away.

Tifa-- Okay, I'll dance with Zack. . . for a while. But then you gotta dance with me again.

Cloud--*Walks over to Aeris* Wanna dance?

Aeris-- YEAH! ^_^

*Dance for about 1 hour*

*Door bursts open again, but this time Reeve and Lucrecia walk in*

Reeve-- Hi! *Gives card to Tifa*

*All continue to party*

-Will Tifa ever continue to dance with Cloud? Who knows. . .who knows. . .

-Will Red stop being ignored?

-Will Marlene ever be included in the story?

Find out next time!

Da Big End!