Lex walked to his shiny car on Monday morning wishing that it could be just a little bit shinier and then it would be the shiniest car in the world and people would probably pay to see it. "Then I'd be rich!" he thought. Then he thought, "Oh wait! I am rich! Hahahah." He continued chuckling on his way to his car but was soon startled by a leafy Clark jumping out of the bushes near his driveway.
"Hi Lex!" said Clark and was met by a look of shock and dismay on Lex's face. He began to brush the leaves out of his hair and looked at Lex with a stupid grin on his face.
"Why must you continue to visit me, Clark?"
"Well, I…ah…"
"You're in love with me?" prompted Lex, hoping to get the conversation over with faster.
"Yes," said Clark, "You can call me Clarky."
"Why on earth would I call you that?"
"What about Muffin?"
"No!"
"Sweetums?"
"That's remarkable."
"What?" asked Clark, hopefully.
"I didn't think you could suggest something stupider than Muffin but then you went right ahead and said Sweetums. Is there no limit to you're sappiness?"
"No. Wait, yes."
"Good, although I don't know if I believe you."
"Well, I just popped by to see if you wanted to go to the Bronze with me tonight."
"The Bronze? I think you've got the wrong TV show. The Bronze is from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. And anyway, I wouldn't go out with you if I were held at gun point."
"Oh so you like it rough?"
"No, Clark, I said I wouldn't."
"Oh. Well can I at least buy you a drink?"
"THAT'S IT! I 'm going to kill you."
"Oh, so you do like it rough, you filthy liar."
"GET OUT OF MY DRIVE WAY!"
"So should I go wait in your room?"
"I mean it. I'll kill you. Don't think I won't."
"I wouldn't put it past you, you have such strong, manly arms, and those calves!"
Lex suavely pulled out a gun, "You've taken this to far Clark." But before he could pull the trigger Clark was gone. "Damn his speediness," Lex muttered.