SEVENTEEN:
Soda yawned as the taxi arrived at our house. "I'm stuffed. We shouldn't have stayed up so late last night." He said, unlocking the front door.
Steve lingered out the front. "I guess I should get going. I'll see you Monday morning Soda- bright and early."
Soda just groaned and went inside. Two-Bit, who was crashing at our place apparently, followed Soda inside, but I hesitated. There was something in the way Steve was looking at me which gave me the impression he hadn't finished yet. So I waited patiently, wondering how Soda could be friends with someone like this. There was certainly no love lost between the two of us, but it had always been that way, as far back as I could remember. One of my early memories was from when I was about ten and Soda and Steve were building a fort in one of the trees in our backyard. I'd wanted to join in, but Steve hadn't been too impressed. Pretending later that it was an accident he pushed me out of the fort, and I ended up spraining my ankle so badly my mom had to take me to the emergency room.
"So you certainly put on a good show tonight." Steve told me, lighting a cigarette.
"Thank you." I replied sarcastically.
"Mandy wouldn't be too happy to hear about it would she? I thought you loved her Pony?" Steve asked me.
"I do love her!" I protested. "And I don't know why it happened. She kissed me and I just kissed her back without even thinking. Then when I realised I was shocked."
"She'll be pissed when she sees the photos." Steve commented, taking a drag of his cigarette and exhaling a plume of smoke into the night sky.
"What's your point Steve?" I asked, deciding it was time to cut to the chase. I was no longer a kid who needed the approval of my brother's friends. I couldn't care less what Steve thought of me, and I was tired.
"Who says I need a point? " Steve drawled with a smile. He stubbed his cigarette out on the lawn. "Don't be surprised when she dumps your sorry butt Pony. She's always been too good for someone like you anyway. But enough of the small talk."
"Someone like me?" I spat, ignoring his last words. "I'm just like you Steve. I'm a greaser and I'm proud of it."
"A greaser? Proud?" Steve laughed. "Maybe you should go and talk to Soda- ask him how he feels about you now you've changed?"
"I haven't changed." I argued.
"Bullshit Pony." Steve snapped, not mincing words. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about, I just got distracted by your display tonight. You go off to that fancy college with fancy friends- Soda even told me you joined a frat for crying out loud- you're not one of us anymore."
I was shocked. "I haven't changed that much." I repeated.
"You honestly believe that?" Steve asked shaking his head. "If you do, well you're even stupider than I always thought you were. Look- do us all a favor Pony, go back to your college tomorrow and don't come back."
My jaw dropped in surprise. Sure Steve didn't like me, but to say something like that. I didn't know what to say, but it didn't matter since Steve was walking off anyway. I dropped down onto the front step and lit a cigarette. I wondered whether he was telling the truth- did my own brother's think I had changed so much in the last month or two? I furrowed my brow thinking about it as objectively as I could. Yes I'd changed a little bit, but that was what growing up and going away to college was all about? But how could Steve claim I had changed so much? I took a deep drag of my cigarette and shook my head. Maybe he should talk to Mandy who claimed I hadn't changed enough, that I was still the same as before. Thinking of Mandy made me think of what I'd done to her that night. I had kissed another woman, even though I hadn't been the one to make the first move. I stood up, throwing my cigarette away angrily. I had nothing to be ashamed of. I hadn't changed too much, I was still me, and as for the episode with Chantelle, well it was nothing!
I went inside and up to my room pausing outside Soda's room. Even though I had disregarded Steve's comments I still wondered whether Soda felt that way, but I didn't know how to bring up the topic. Why hadn't he said anything to me if he felt as strongly as Steve was claiming he felt? 'Because' said a voice inside my head. 'Steve is talking crap as usual.'
I sighed as I got into bed. It would be good to get back to college and to Mandy.
Soda yawned as the taxi arrived at our house. "I'm stuffed. We shouldn't have stayed up so late last night." He said, unlocking the front door.
Steve lingered out the front. "I guess I should get going. I'll see you Monday morning Soda- bright and early."
Soda just groaned and went inside. Two-Bit, who was crashing at our place apparently, followed Soda inside, but I hesitated. There was something in the way Steve was looking at me which gave me the impression he hadn't finished yet. So I waited patiently, wondering how Soda could be friends with someone like this. There was certainly no love lost between the two of us, but it had always been that way, as far back as I could remember. One of my early memories was from when I was about ten and Soda and Steve were building a fort in one of the trees in our backyard. I'd wanted to join in, but Steve hadn't been too impressed. Pretending later that it was an accident he pushed me out of the fort, and I ended up spraining my ankle so badly my mom had to take me to the emergency room.
"So you certainly put on a good show tonight." Steve told me, lighting a cigarette.
"Thank you." I replied sarcastically.
"Mandy wouldn't be too happy to hear about it would she? I thought you loved her Pony?" Steve asked me.
"I do love her!" I protested. "And I don't know why it happened. She kissed me and I just kissed her back without even thinking. Then when I realised I was shocked."
"She'll be pissed when she sees the photos." Steve commented, taking a drag of his cigarette and exhaling a plume of smoke into the night sky.
"What's your point Steve?" I asked, deciding it was time to cut to the chase. I was no longer a kid who needed the approval of my brother's friends. I couldn't care less what Steve thought of me, and I was tired.
"Who says I need a point? " Steve drawled with a smile. He stubbed his cigarette out on the lawn. "Don't be surprised when she dumps your sorry butt Pony. She's always been too good for someone like you anyway. But enough of the small talk."
"Someone like me?" I spat, ignoring his last words. "I'm just like you Steve. I'm a greaser and I'm proud of it."
"A greaser? Proud?" Steve laughed. "Maybe you should go and talk to Soda- ask him how he feels about you now you've changed?"
"I haven't changed." I argued.
"Bullshit Pony." Steve snapped, not mincing words. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about, I just got distracted by your display tonight. You go off to that fancy college with fancy friends- Soda even told me you joined a frat for crying out loud- you're not one of us anymore."
I was shocked. "I haven't changed that much." I repeated.
"You honestly believe that?" Steve asked shaking his head. "If you do, well you're even stupider than I always thought you were. Look- do us all a favor Pony, go back to your college tomorrow and don't come back."
My jaw dropped in surprise. Sure Steve didn't like me, but to say something like that. I didn't know what to say, but it didn't matter since Steve was walking off anyway. I dropped down onto the front step and lit a cigarette. I wondered whether he was telling the truth- did my own brother's think I had changed so much in the last month or two? I furrowed my brow thinking about it as objectively as I could. Yes I'd changed a little bit, but that was what growing up and going away to college was all about? But how could Steve claim I had changed so much? I took a deep drag of my cigarette and shook my head. Maybe he should talk to Mandy who claimed I hadn't changed enough, that I was still the same as before. Thinking of Mandy made me think of what I'd done to her that night. I had kissed another woman, even though I hadn't been the one to make the first move. I stood up, throwing my cigarette away angrily. I had nothing to be ashamed of. I hadn't changed too much, I was still me, and as for the episode with Chantelle, well it was nothing!
I went inside and up to my room pausing outside Soda's room. Even though I had disregarded Steve's comments I still wondered whether Soda felt that way, but I didn't know how to bring up the topic. Why hadn't he said anything to me if he felt as strongly as Steve was claiming he felt? 'Because' said a voice inside my head. 'Steve is talking crap as usual.'
I sighed as I got into bed. It would be good to get back to college and to Mandy.