I enjoyed writing this chapter so I hope you enjoy reading it!

Just don't rush through it okay? Thanks.

Cold and Alone

I hated myself. When had I become so heartless and so cruel? Surely what I was feeling wasn't teenage stress. It couldn't be. I felt too overpowered and helpless by these emotions for it to be just a phase I was going through. I was fighting a battle with myself and losing pitifully.

I had wandered from the schools grounds and found myself leaning over a railing, overlooking a frozen lake. It was the biggest park I'd ever seen but I couldn't appreciate it with how torn up I was feeling. It was like I was frantically trying to pick up all the bits and pieces to fix myself, but every time I felt I had a grip on myself everything just seemed to slip though the cracks in my heart.

My cheeks and nose were starting to feel numb with the cold north winds that blew fiercely in my face. I looked over the frozen waters of the lake noticing the cutting marks left behind by skaters. In my mind I saw a loving couple skating swiftly across the ice in each other's arms, looking as though nothing could break their strong and endless love for each other. They were each other's strength.

A tear surfaced and ran down my cheek, leaving a cold sting as it traveled down my face, exposed to the air.

"No one will ever love me like that." I whispered to myself.

My heart fell heavy. Maybe I was put on this earth only so that there would be a balance of joy and pain in the world, my job? Living in misery so others could be happy.

The more I thought about Yamato the more I learned that he was my source of pain and suffering. But why?

When I thought about him I was nearly crushed by a great wave of emotions. I felt deep sorrow, for him and for myself and then the emptiness would return which left me feeling like a shell of myself, hollow and barren.

Something white flashed and caught my eye as it blew by.

'It's snowing. Even the skies don't pity me.'

I turned around and sat with my back against the railing, hugging my knees closer. My old worn out black jacket wasn't providing much warmth or protection from the weather. It was like the weather wanted to match how I felt inside, cold and unwanted.

The wind found ways to slip its cold whip like fingers under my clothes.

'Maybe if I just curl up and sleep for a while, everything bad in my life will just go away.' I thought, but I knew that peace would only last until I woke up again.

I closed my eyes and drifted off into darkness where nothing could hurt me.

I awoke only moments later when I thought I could hear someone calling my name. I kept my eyes closed thinking it was just my imagination.

I felt a great deal colder than I had before, not that it mattered to me anyway. In someway I wished I could just fall asleep and let winter take me away with it, maybe that was best.

"Tai!,"

I opened my eyes to make sure I wasn't dreaming the voice up, but I couldn't see much though the blizzards torrent. I closed my eyes again feeling drowsy.

"Tai! Are you okay?!"

"Yamato?" I asked out into the biting cold air. But my eyes didn't open.

"Shit you're blue all over! Tai?! Tai Wake up!" I could feel something shaking me by my shoulders.

My eyes finally fluttered open, not believing what they saw. No he wasn't really there, why would he be out here in a blizzard? I was just seeing things.

I smiled." Don't worry. I'm fine." My eyes drooped closed again.

"No! Tai! Get up! You have to get up!" the voice of the ghost demanded.

I felt my body being pulled up. 'Ghosts don't do that.' I thought.

"Yamato? You're really here?" Finally I saw that I wasn't dreaming. He was really there! And trying to help me? But..... why?

"Come on. Let's get you warm." He said trying to get me to my feet.

I didn't have the energy to do it myself. The cold was leeching me of my physical strength.

"I can-n-n't move" I stammered when I tried walking on my own.

"Don't worry, here put your arm around me." He did it for me.

"Better?" he asked as we both took a step together.

I nodded and put everything I had left in me into taking another step.

"Good, good your doing great. Come we're going this way."

Both his arms supported me as we went through the park.

"Why are you doing this?" I asked, a little out of breath.

But with the wind blowing so hard I don't think he heard me.

Eventually we came to the door of his apartment.

' An apartment? I thought his parents had tons of cash.' I thought but then remembered my family was living in an apartment too and we were going to the same school.

The warmth from inside the house hit my face like a brick, almost stunning me when we stepped inside. Was I that cold? My body answered that question when I began to shiver uncontrollably.

The winds endless howling ended when Yamato closed the door behind us.

I looked around expecting to find one or two concerned family members but then I soon realized that we were the only two in the apartment.

I held close to my body trying to get a little more warmth from myself, as futile as it was.

Matt guided me, holding my shoulders, to what appeared to be his room.

On a desk by the window I saw a framed photograph of him and what looked like his much younger brother. It looked about four or five years old, judging by the young boyish looks that Yamato hadn't completely out grown.

"Where is everyone?" I asked through my chattering teeth.

He pulled out a big fluffy white towel from his cupboard and wrapped it around me. "Everyone," He began casually. " Is at work."

It was somewhere around six O'clock, why would both his parents still be at work? And the other kid in the photo, who I was guessing was his brother because of their similarities, was surely not old enough to be working?

He saw the confused look on my face as I tried to puzzle things out.

"I live alone with my dad. My parents are divorced."

He said it as though he had recited it a thousand times. But I caught a hint in his voice that told me it was a sensitive subject for him.

He started to rub me dry with the towel he'd draped around me.

He probably could have felt me shaking while he was attacking my clothes, which were drenched in melted snow.

I was too cold and numb to care that another guy was taking care of me, and too cold to be worried or embarrassed that his hands were moving up and down my body so closely.

He stepped back and blinked slowly as though he had just realized how much his efforts were in vain.

He shook his head with concern.

"This isn't working." He said to himself then stared me straight in the face.

"C'mon we've got to get you warm."

He took hold of me by my shoulders from behind and guided me back down the hallway and into a bathroom on the right.

After turning on the shower tap he turned to me and peeled off my shirt.

I didn't argue or put up a fight no matter how much I wanted to. I would have struggled trying to get it off myself anyway.

He disappeared and returned with a fresh towel and some of his for me to change into.

"Need some help with those too?"

I realized he was looking at my soaked jeans. I shook my head slightly but almost immediately.

"I'll be in the kitchen so long. Are you gonna be alright?" His voice never sounded unsympathetic.

I nodded. He was acting like I hadn't met him yet. And in truth I hadn't, not properly anyway.

"Take as long as you like." He smiled -almost nervously- then closed the door.

I dropped whatever else I was wearing and realized I hadn't even been wearing my jacket that day. I was out in a blizzard with just a pair of jeans and a T-shirt!

I stepped into the shower feeling its warmth all over me just like when I had first walked into the apartment. Only this time the warmth didn't die away replaced with shivers, instead it spread through my body renewing my strength and bringing colour back to my cheeks.

I think I was in there for nearly half an hour, thinking about Yamato and what he was doing for me, the way he took responsibility for my life and especially how he acted as if I'd never shouted at him in tears.

I pictured how I must have looked to him when I had, had my outburst.

It scared me even more to imagine myself that way but there was no use hiding from it. It had happened.

After changing into his clothes I stepped out of the bathroom and wandered around until I found Yamato hovering over something he was making in the kitchen. The wondrous aromas of whatever it was sent hunger pangs straight to my stomach but I pushed that aside knowing that we were both on uncommon ground. Neither one of us knew where we stood.

His back was to me and his hands were busied with some small task that he was intent on doing.

He hadn't noticed I was there yet. I played with the lining on the edge of the shirt I was wearing.

"Uh.... thanks." I said softly with my head down.

He turned around and smiled. "Dinner's gonna be ready in a minute. Here drink this, it'll make you feel better." He pushed a small cup of steaming green liquid towards me on the counter.

"I better go." I went for the front door.

"You can't."

I didn't know whether that sounded like a command or plead so I stood waiting for him to say something more.

"What I mean is... We're snowed in. Take a look outside."

I did and saw that he was right. The cars that I could see parked outside were up to their bonnets in snow.

I had nowhere else to go. I didn't know how to get home in this neighborhood and the map that my dad had drawn me was probably ruined in my soaked jeans. Moving over to the counter in the kitchen I sat down in defeat staring into the cup of green tea.

"Tai, what's wrong?" He sat down, opposite me at the table.

"Is this about what happened in the locker room?"

I didn't take my eyes off the cup. "I don't know. Maybe.... but..."

I shook my head and closed my eyes.

I was cornered. He probably wouldn't give up until I told him what he wanted to hear.

"Look, Tai, I'm sorry if I did anything to upset you. I just wanted to help. I didn't mean anything by it." His voice was so soft and loving. It almost hurt to hear him speak to me that way. I really didn't deserve it.

"No, I'm the one who should be saying sorry." I brought my gaze to his but quickly looked away when those painful feelings returned in full force to haunt me.

"I shouldn't have acted like that. It wasn't right." I could feel the tears welling up behind my eyelids. What was wrong with me? I was feeling broken and I was crying for no reason.

"Is that all that's wrong?" He asked. I knew what I must have looked like before him.

"Is everything alright at home?" He asked when I said nothing.

'Home? Where is home?' I thought. Would I ever have a place I could call home? Not just some place where we'd stay for a couple months and then leave.

"My parents aren't abusive if that's what you mean." My voice was beginning to sound strained.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"What's there to talk about?"

He sighed heavily. "Taichi, I can't help you if you don't let me."

He was right but did I want his help? I had to change the subject.

"Why did you help me out there in the park? You should have just left me there after how I shouted at you."

"He smiled slightly to himself. "What sort of person would I be if I just left you to die out there?"

"Someone thoughtful?" I half jested.

"Don't think like that. Do you really want to die?"

"I don't know. Maybe"

"Well I'm sorry but I won't let you." He said, sounding very protective.

"Why?"

" I...uh... I'm not gonna let you die feeling like no one cares, cause I.... We do okay."

"I don't understand you."

"What I'm trying to say is, you're never alone."

But that was exactly how I felt; only much worse like part of me was missing.

A stream of warm salty tears ran down each of my cheeks.

I just wanted to be with some one.... Some one who could take this suffocating pain away.

"Tai." He called. "Taichi, look at me."

He reached out and held my head like a delicate flower in his hands.

"What is it? What's wrong? You can tell me." His eyes held a warm and comforting gaze on me.

"It's.... you." It was hard enough to think it let alone say it out loud.

In just two words I had betrayed myself. My tears ran more freely from my clenched eyelids.

"I'm not sure what you......" His eyes skewed off to the corner as if to contemplate a random thought. He broke his own silence and came around to the other side of the table.

"Tai, c'mon let's talk." He put a hand on my shoulder and motioned towards the living room.

I rubbed my eyes dry and followed him to the big plush couches.

I sat down and gripped the corner of one of the pillows tightly in my fist, terrified at what he had to say to me.

I wished more than ever that he had never found me at the park. Maybe I was still asleep and he hadn't found me. Maybe I was just minutes from being woken up by Kari. She'd tell me I had over slept and that I had only a couple minutes to get ready before Dad took us to Odaiba Yasutoko for the first time.

I opened my eyes to see Yamato sitting on the same couch I was on.

It wasn't a dream and he wasn't going to go away.

I watched him while he looked for the right words to start with.

"Yamato, Don't. Just leave it okay?" I felt the weight of my words pulling my head down.

He was quiet for moment. "Tai..."

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Okay I just want everyone to know I don't want to take credit for the first two and a half chapters. I borrowed that from one of my Fav books to set the scene.

But everything else is 100% mine! Like this chapter.

So......how is MY work so far?

Kale.