You say Yamato And I say ya....
"Yamato.......just leave it okay?" I rubbed my eyes dry (I had been doing that a lot lately) and watched him for a response.
"No Tai, I can see you're hurting. I have a right to know if I'm the reason why."
I filled my lungs with air and cautiously breathed out my shakey breath. I was shaking but not because I was cold this time, it was something else. Maybe it was because he was right there next to me, watching me in a way like no one else had before. I didn't understand that look on his face. What did it mean?
"Yama..."
Yamato cut me off. "Please, Just call me Matt. Yamato makes me sound like an old man."
'Old? How could anyone imagine you growing old?' I thought. His features were timeless and that of extreme charm and grace.
I nodded." Matt," I began again. " there's just so much going on in my head right now, okay? I'm too confused to make sense of anything, I just need time to sort myself out."
I hugged myself tightly. I thought that I had said enough to ease the tension in the air but Matt wouldn't let it go.
"I....heard everything." He stared off into space with his head low.
"What?" I asked. He didn't make sense. Or at least I was on the wrong track of thought.
"I heard everything that you said in the locker room today." He didn't look up at me. He just stared right through me.
Our roles were reversed and now I was the one who was watching his every move with a deepend sense of awareness for myself.
"I wasn't sure if you were talking about me and............. I'm still not sure."
I stared on in silence, it felt like my heart was beating in my throat. I couldn't say anything, I don't even know if I wanted to.
He brought his eyes to meet mine. "Were you?"
Those words held me stiff, my pupils widened with fear.
Swollowing the lump in my throat I opened my mouth to speak.
"I-I-I..."
Before I had a chance to react Matt had firmly planted his lips on mine.
His moist lips and the warmth of his body near mine sent me into an instant state of shock.
I could feel his hot breathe as his lips parted from mine. He leaned back and looked at me expectantly.
I was frozen with shock, staring wide eyed at the blonde sitting across from me.
The warm affectionate look on his face turned to one of deep regret.
' Say something! Anything! Taichi dammit just do something!!' My lips refused to move, my body numb and unresponsive.
My stillness and silence, not to mention the flushed look on my face, must have frightened him in a big way.
Matt stood up quickly. "Oh no.........y-you're not................and I kissed................" He stammered. A single tear ran down his face before he turned and left me staring at the spot where he was standing.
'What the hell just happened?!'
Finally -after sometime- I turned my head in search of the boy who had just kissed me.
'A guy just kissed me?' I thought in shear amazement.
I slowly got myself to my feet and found I was alone in the room.
"Matt?" I called out, but my voice wasn't loud enough for even me to hear.
"Matt?" I raised my voice as best I could.
If there was ever a time where I was the most confused, it was now.
I didn't know what to do or what to feel. It was like I was thrown into the deep end of the swimming pool and told to swim.
Heading down the hallway to his bedroom, I could feel the nervous state in which his bewildering kiss had left my body in.
I knocked on his bedroom door.
"Yamato?"
There was no answer. I opened the door just a little and peeked in but he wasn't there.
Why I was looking for him, I don't know. I don't even know what I would do when I did find him. All that mattered right now was that I find him.
I walked towards the kitchen and noticed that the front door was open only a crack.
I stepped outside only to be greeted by a torrent of wind and snow, almost colder than I would have remembered.
"Shit! Please tell me he didn't run off out there."
The cars in the parking lot were completely burried in snow. I hoped the people on the first level of the complex were okay.
The muffled sound of someone sniffing behind me caught my attention. I quickly turned on my heels to see Matt sitting down against the wall, close to the doorway I'd just come through.
He was tightly hugging his knees close to his body, his face shrouded by golden strands that whipped about wildly in the wind.
He looked so alone and frightened, wich was something I saw reflected in myself.
I walked over quietly and brought myself down his level.
"Matt?"
He didn't say anything.
Was he crying? Was he feeling the sameway I had been feeling?
"Please come back inside?" I put my hand on his shoulder."Matt? I'm not angry."
He lifted his head to look at me. "I-I'm sorry."
I smiled at him for the first time. "Don't be.I'm not." I was starting to see how all those feelings I'd been having that day, were for him. I just wouldn't admit it, and in the process made it painfull for myself.
He smiled but his tears were keeping him back. "No, I took advantage of you when you were vulnerable. It wasn't right." He tried to hide his face from me as best he could.
"Do you think that matters to me now? If you hadn't kissed me....I would never have known that what I was feeling inside, was meant for you."
He turned his carribean blue eyes to me again. "But back there you...."
"I was just scared and the whole thing was just a bit too much for me to handle all at once. You surprized me that's all." I said smiling again, hoping to win him over quickly since it was freezing outside. I gently wiped his tears away with my thumbs. He was so sweet, it was easy to understand why everyone adored him.
"So are we going back inside or are we..... ude-ma Ikatei nomu daikatsumi?"
He blushed a deep red which told me he knew exactly what I had said. Maybe it was a bit much to be joking around like that, but he laughed anyway and stood up.
"Uh sorry, my mouth runs away with me sometimes."
"I guess you already know that the same goes for me too." He smiled guiltily.
I laughed. "Yeah, well next time tell me you're gonna kiss me okay?"
"So there is gonna be a next time?"
"Hey, I'm freezing out here. Can we go inside or are we going to sit out here and find other ways to keep warm?" I clapped my hand over my mouth. "See there I go again!" I really didn't mean to say it like that.
He broke out into laughter and soon I was joining him. It felt good. I hadn't laughed with anyone for such a long time. But I was just glad it was with someone like Yamato.
"Yeah, we might as well go inside. I've still got dinner waiting for us. You hungry?"
I had to laugh. "You obviously haven't met my apetite."
"No but at least I know you speak Hakkanese. That's a good thing right?"
"Maybe." I grinned.
The door clicked shut behind us.
Matt picked up the cup of green liquid and chugged it down.
"Hey, what was in that stuff?"
"Uh... green tea and...vodka. It supposed to relax you." That guilty smile found it's way back to his face again.
"Not trying to get me drunk were you?" I joked.
"Uh n-n-no. It's just you were....and then.....So I...."
"Gees! Calm down. I wasn't serious. Man, you're really edgy."
"Well I did just kiss a guy for the first time, what did you expect?"
"Yeah okay that's a given."
Suddenly the rang, nearly frightening me half to death.
"Oh, could you get that for me."
"Sure.What's your surname?"
"Ishida." He said quickly and turned to grab some bowls.
I picked up the phone. "Hello, Ishida residence."
"Taichi?!"
"Is that....Sora?!"
"What are you doing at Yamato's house?"
"Well I'm uh...... Hey never mind that, what are you doing calling here!?"
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Yeah I know this one's a bit short. I think I screwed up a bit with the Taito, but there's much more to come!
And in case you're wondering? Yes Hakkanese really is an old ancient language, one of my friends helps me out with some of the translations.
oh and (ude-ma Ikatei nomu daikatsumi?) means to make love in the snow to survive.Yeah Tai's got a naughty mind. *kisses him on the cheek* But that's okay when he's so cute.
Tell me what ya think.
Kale.