What His Crimson Eyes Believe In2 a Kaworu & Shinji fic by AngelDragon
Disclaimer: I don't own Evangelion, the lyrics from the song mentioned in ch. 1 or my two favorite bishonen (But I *do* own this fic)
Warnings/Notes: Shonen-ai/yaoi here as usual. I apologize ahead of time for the length. It's like this for a reason. I do hope you keep reading? About the out of character-ness: These two aren't carbon copies of themselves at ages 15 & 14. They're a few years older now, no more battles or Evas to pilot & they've been living w/each other since then. (This is technically the *middle* of my K & S trilogy, so you might understand it a little better if you read them in order)
Kaworu's getting used to living as a Lilim. (But hasn't forsaken his Angel abilities) He's exploring it, enjoying what he finds. Shinji has grown as a person too, learning how to be himself, instead of living like he has no real choices. (Pointless info: The main song I had in mind for their club dancing from chapter 1, was 'Can't Get You Out of My Head' by Kylie Minogue) And to bean, Dark Fox, Kiwi Walpole, ikari38 & Neoangel arigato for your kind reviews! Dark Hikari Kamiya, glad you found me again, too! Hope you like the fic! Oh and these: are thoughts.
Chapter 2: The Avenging Angel
"I'm so tired but I can't sleep.
Standin' on the edge of something much too deep.
It's funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word.
We are screaming inside, but we can't be heard."
June, 2018
(Kaworu's Diary Entries)
June 6/ I've been writing in this humble book for a little while now & today I guess I'm feeling a little reflective. It's Shinji's birthday today & my koibito turns 17. We had quite a good time I think, since I'm writing this in our 'bed' & he's here beside me asleep, rather exhausted. I just *had* to repay him for the birthday surprise he gave *me* last year.
I love to watch him sleep. He has such a soft, relaxed expression, even when his face is still flushed. I've turned the daemon clock radio off since there's no need to get up early tomorrow. He should sleep in. (And I hope he forgives me in the morning)
There was a full moon tonight. I took advantage of it by leaving the curtains & windows open to let the moonlight & fresh air in. It usually smells of flowers instead of exhaust this time of year, thankfully. I know how much more relaxed he is when the room lights are off so I made love to him in a nest of blankets on the floor in the moonlight. So what if the neighbors in the next building got an eyeful? I think it might've loosened them up a bit!
I believe it was a successful birthday present, especially since I wore his favorite shirt again which got precisely the reaction I'd hoped for.
June 14/ Something interesting happened while Shinji was at school. He had cello practice today too, so he was home late. I got a call while making lunch, from a young woman who introduced herself as Yoake & told me she was the woman at the counter of the shop I'd browsed in last year. I asked her how she'd gotten my number & she admitted that she'd looked at my account slip. I asked her if there was a problem. (I was sure I had enough in my savings, thanks to Misato. I'd checked before Shinji & I'd left for our vacation) She said no, no problem, just a question.
She asked if I'd gone to Isogashii Elementary School. I told her yes, for a little while. It sort of threw me for a moment, because one doesn't expect a stranger to ask such a personal question. She then asked if I'd been in Miss Yuki-sensei's class. I said yes & was just about to ask politely if there was a point to my interrogation, when she dropped a loaded statement on me: "Then you must be the ookami that Sakura-kun talked about."
I think I remember having to sit down, almost dropping my sandwich. She said she was a friend of Sakura's roommate & the three of them had hung out a lot before Sakura had moved out of Tokyo-3. She asked me if she could give my mailing address to Sakura & if it was okay for her to get in touch, which I of course agreed to. I look forward to hearing from her. I guess that Seele can take me from school, but they couldn't dull the memory of my old friend. I can't wait to introduce her to Shinji!
(Sometime Later That Month)
"Here's some mail for you Kao-chan." Shinji picked up the contents of the box on the inside of their door and sorted it out. Slipping off his shoes in the shallow genkan, he ditched the junk mail and put Kaworu's monthly manga magazine and a letter on the corner of the desk.
Kaworu was sitting in the living room at said desk as he did his online classes. Shinji flopped on the couch, hurling his backpack into a soft armchair. He must've had a bad dayKaworu turned in his chair to regard him. From what he could see, Shinji definitely had a look on his face that said, 'I'm *really* pissed and trying not to show it,' as he clicked on the TV.
I'll just leave him alone for now. He'll tell me eventuallyKaworu turned his attention to the letter, unable to keep the smile from his face as he saw the return name of Wakai Sakura and quickly opened it.
'Konnichi wa, ookami!
Ogenki desu ka? I'm fine but I never thought I'd find you again! I practically tackled my roommate Kasumi when she told me about Yoake-kun's 'kawaii, gray haired customer' & handed me your address. I've missed you Kaworu-kun. It's been a long time. Here is my addresses & phone number. Please get in touch with me, I want to know what's happened in your life. Maybe we can have lunch sometime? Well, I hate to cut this short but I need sleep! I'm writing this *far* too late for a school night!
Sayonara for now,
Wakai Sakura'
Folding the letter away, Kaworu gave a little laugh and turned back to Shinji. "Shin-chan, you'll never guess -" He broke off when he saw that Shinji was looking at the wall, hugging his drawn up knees. He wasn't paying any attention to the TV. Concerned, Kaworu came over to sit near the couch on the soft carpeted floor.
He quietly stroked Shinji's hair, noting that he flinched when he touched him. What happened to make him afraid of me? I wasn't a rough seme this morningHis brow knit. He knew if he just lent his presence to Shinji long enough, he would open up. And after a few quiet moments he did - by crying and shaking.
Ever so gently, Kaworu reached up to turn Shinji's face toward him, guiding his chin. He was shocked and heartbroken by what he saw. Shinji's left eye was bruised and swollen and his lip was cut. He took in the rest of the picture as well: Shinji's short sleeve school shirt and jeans were a little dirty, his shirt was missing a few buttons. He definitely looks roughed upKaworu wiped at his tears, careful of his eye.
"My poor Shinji! We should take you to get that looked at," he said softly. Shinji screwed up his face, wincing and turning away again.
"I'm fine, Kao-chan. I just want to be alone for a while. Please?" He sniffled, shaking a little and Kaworu gave him a sympathetic look he never saw. A little hurt but understanding, he got up on his knees and gave Shinji a little kiss at his temple, causing him to flinch again. Sighing, he quietly got up and sent his lesson in for the afternoon then went into their bedroom.
He curled up on his side with Shinji's little Riiya plushie and a sad smile. I remember winning you for Shin-chanHe looked down at the fluffy little white wolf. Even if I *did* use my telekinesis to do it Snuggling the toy close he sniffed the soft artificial fur, picking up Shinji's light scent. Almost asleep a little later, he felt a slight weight and a warm body cuddle up behind him, then came the familiar arm to snake around his waist to link fingers with him.
"Gomen nasai Kaworu. Forgive me?" Shinji asked softly in his ear. "My day was just so damn stupid!"
"It's alright, you can tell me whenever you're ready," Kaworu said, giving Shinji's fingers a squeeze.
"Can we just take a nap for now? I - I'll be ready later," Shinji said, snuggling as close as he could get. "Sure. I've got something to tell you, too," Kaworu yawned.
After dinner they relaxed on the couch, watching TV and Kaworu told Shinji about Sakura. He was happy for him and said he thought it'd be nice to meet her. Shinji was a little fidgety as he danced around the topic of his screwed up day, but eventually he'd managed to blurt it all out in an embarrassed rush. Kaworu was stunned, listening patiently as his flustered partner told all.
"And - and that's all that happened, I promise! Jeez, I wanna go hide under a rock somewhere now!" Shinji was unable to look Kaworu in the eye. Kaworu put his arms around him, nuzzling the back of his head. "I believe you Shin-chan. Don't worry, I'm sure that it'll be taken care of. So you can relax now."
(Sometime Next Morning)
"Who the hell are you?" A cold looking brunette boy with spiky hair turned to face the person who'd tapped him on the shoulder. He saw a gray haired boy his height with bizarre red eyes staring at him coolly.
"You are the one who harassed Ikari Shinji-kun," Kaworu stated plainly, folding his arms across his chest. The boy snorted in contempt. He'd been walking to his next class when this strange kid stopped him. "So what if I did?" He leaned toward Kaworu with a smirk, raising his fist. "You got a problem with it?"
Kaworu's eyes flashed with anger, narrowing as he lightly scanned the punk's mind, causing the guy to stop and stare vacantly for a moment. How DARE he! A snarl came to his lips. He just couldn't take 'no' for an answer! He finished the scan and the kid (Named Li, he'd found out) shook his head, looking around, then started at Kaworu.
"What the hell did you do to me you freak?!" He swung a wild punch Kaworu dodged easily, floating a few inches above the ground. He stopped Li in mid turn with his psychic abilities, leaning in close to look the pissed off guy in his wide blue eyes.
"No one can force themselves on another without their consent and expect not to suffer the consequences," Kaworu said in a low voice.
Li snarled angrily. "The little slut was asking for it dammit! Walkin' around, showing off his ass in those jeans, flashing those grins! How can anybody ignore that?! So I gave him what he was too chicken shit to admit he wanted! Taught him a lesson, too!"
Kaworu could barely control his anger, a light breeze generated by his own energy tossing around his gray hair. He was inches from Li, narrowing his eyes again. "Well then. How about I give you what *I* want and teach you to respect Shinji-kun?" He said this in a rather dangerous tone, causing Li's eyes to widen in fear. About fifteen minutes later he could be heard yelling at the top of his lungs all over school from a *very* interesting location..
(Kaworu's Diary Entries)
June 20/ Today was a very satisfying day after starting somewhat badly. Early this morning before Shinji went to school I found bruises on his arms and ribs. I asked him about them & he figured they were from when that obnoxious brat Li had beaten him the day before. His eye hadn't felt much relief from the swelling yet, either.
I was, needless to say, pissed that he'd suffered such abuse. Little did I know what I'd get from Li's own mind about the situation; he'd caught Shinji alone after school, cornering him. I could tell from his mind that he'd been planning it for a while, just waiting for the right time. I also learned that Shinji'd spurned his advances for quite a while. I imagine that he'd been too embarrassed to tell me. (I can definitely forgive him that. I've been guilty of keeping secrets myself)
He had come very close to being raped fully by this kid, only the fear of being seen had kept Li from it. Instead, he'd beaten Shinji after he had fought his rough groping, then Shinji had been crudely (ahem) 'jerked off' by him. Shinji was so ashamed by it that he'd almost not told me. (This was what had made him flinch when I'd merely tried to comfort him) I understand though, I don't know that I'd be too eager to relive such things just so I could tell someone else.
But I believe that I fixed things as best as I could today. I don't think he'll be bothering Shinji anymore.
(Later That Day)
"Wow, you'll never believe what happened today Kao-chan!" Shinji came into the living room, dropping his pack in a chair. Kaworu looked up from cleaning and tuning his violin at the coffee table to flash Shinji a smile. "Hmm, let me guess.. Someone's dirty laundry got aired?" he asked innocently. Shinji's eyes widened at Kaworu's statement. "Something like that. How'd you know?"
"Just a lucky guess. But do tell, Shinji." Kaworu put his instrument aside to give him his undivided attention.
Shinji raised a brow. "Okay, I will. You know that - jerk - that beat me up yesterday? Seems someone strung him up the flagpole by his boxers. He was yelling for help for an hour before they managed to get him down." He grinned happily. "But not before they got a picture of him for the school paper! I can see the headline: 'Jock Gets Jacked By His Jockeys.'" He giggled as he went to the kitchen for a drink.
"Glad to see you had a good day then. I doubt you'll have a problem with Li anymore?" Kaworu called. If he even goes back to school, that is He giggled aloud at that.
"Wait a minute - how do you know his name?" Shinji came back with an ice pack and a juice box. He parked it in the armchair, relaxing with the pack gingerly over his eye. "Don't tell me - Oh Kami, you had something to do with it?"
"Yes I did. Gomen Shin-chan but I couldn't let what happened to you go unpunished. Can you forgive my temper?" Kaworu asked, a little slyly. So I'm protective of him. I love my koibito, I can't help it
"Kaworu.. That was pretty risky, ne?" Shinji sighed as he sipped his juice. "What if someone saw you? Not that I'm complaining though!"
"Don't worry Shinji, no one saw me. I just thought I should make an example of him, that's all." Kaworu finished with his violin then came over to kneel at Shinji's feet, resting his folded arms across Shinji's knees. He set his chin on them and stared up at Shinji who turned the TV to his favorite anime show. "Are you upset with me? You know I'd never reveal myself unless there was a good reason, I promised you and Misato I wouldn't."
Shinji looked down into Kaworu's eyes as he adjusted the ice pack. "I'm not mad at you, I just wish you wouldn't put yourself at risk so much." He offered Kaworu a sip from the box's little straw. "I don't want anyone to try and dissect you or anything, you're the only person I'm really attached to, you know?"
"That I *do* know. But you're the only one I'd be reckless over, if it meant I could make you happy and keep you safe. I'll be more discreet about it in the future though," Kaworu told him, enjoying the sweetness of the juice as he sipped the offered straw again.
(Kaworu's Diary Entries)
July 1/ I've been very happy over the past few days, on the phone with Sakura trying to arrange a date to get together but we've both been pretty busy. Her tests are this week so she's studying quite a bit. Plus, poor Shinji came home from school sick yesterday & I've been up all night nursing him through it. It seems he got food poisoning, his school nurse had told him. I hate seeing him in pain. He can hardly keep anything down but I'm trying to make sure he drinks enough and rests - in between his bathroom sprints.
July 16/ Shinji's feeling much better today & he's going back to school. He thinks I should take it easy since I've been putting up with his body betraying him over the past couple weeks. Taking care of him doesn't bother me. I actually enjoy it, though I wish it'd been under different circumstances. (Listening to your koi being violently ill every few hours sort of kills the warm & fuzzy feelings of nurturing you'd had for him moments before his two meter dash to the bathroom)
But I have a surprise I'm working on that I'm sure will put a smile on his face. I shared it only with Misato, who was a tad stunned but got behind it with me. She's happy for me and excited, too. She even helped me set it all up, since I had no idea how, I just knew it was what I wanted to do. It felt right. I can't wait to see his face!
July 25/ I've been e-mailing Sakura a bit. She's not sure if she'll pass, because she pulled many all-nighters with her friends where the main thing studied was the TV screen while they played video games. I told her she was paranoid, but she came back with, 'I'll believe it when I see it'. Shinji had a school concert tonight & I managed to get Misato to go with me to it. She told me I was lucky she could get tonight off at such short notice. (She's normally busy with her new position in the Neo Japan Department of Defense) I told her it would be a nice surprise for Shinji, who was worried about playing in public. I still remember our duet a few years ago when I was recovering from my injuries. He plays so well!
He just doesn't have any faith in himself. It was an excellent concert. They even played my favorite Beethoven! I made it up to Shin-chan later after the three of us went out to Misato's favorite restaurant. I got quite a smile out of him when I suggested in his ear that we go home & 'tune our instruments.'
August 5/ I finally sprang the surprise I've been working on all year on Shinji. (And I thank generous, patient Misato for helping me) Dinner went very well. (I wore his shirt again & I *know* it turns him on) But then I got to the point - and got down on one knee to propose to the one who taught me about love.
His face.. It was so rewarding I almost couldn't believe it. I actually made him cry, but I knew it was a 'yes' in his mind. He was speechless. The kiss he gave me.. It felt like our minds were one again, like he'd put his very soul into it..
His hand had shook almost as bad as mine when I slid the diamond engagement ring on his finger. It was all I could do to hold him close and cry with him. Crying is such hypocrisy. How can happiness cause the same reaction as sadness? Does pleasure share the same edge of the blade of life as pain? All I know for sure is that tonight I held the one I was destined to be with in my arms & showed him how much I loved & wanted him.
Shinji is stronger than he knows but his heart is fragile, like glass. He needs to be shown that he's not just one of the millions of other Lilim. There's no one else like Shinji, in my opinion & there could never be another in my life. I look forward to our future together. I'm not sure when we should have the ceremony but I'd like to make it special, maybe an old Shinto-style one? I've always loved the old Japanese-style clothes & rituals. Very relaxing & balancing of the soul, I think.
(Sometime Later That Month)
"Heh heh.. Heh heh heh.. Shin-chan, that tickles! C'mon, we're going to be late. I told Sakura we'd meet her at the dragon statue in the park at noon." Kaworu wriggled free of Shinji's busy fingers. He was standing at the full-length mirror on the back of their bedroom door, trying to tuck his long sleeve shirt in. Shinji was standing behind him with his head resting on Kaworu's shoulder, trying to go after his ribs under the shirt.
"Can't help it, I'm feeling very genki today. I've wanted to meet your friend for a while now." Shinji grinned as he looked at their reflections in the mirror. "And I'm excited about this!" He showed off his ringed left hand, bringing it up to pull back some of Kaworu's soft gray bangs. He kissed the bared temple, feeling the light pulse through his lips. I still can't believe this is all real. But I'm so glad it is!
"As tempting as this is koi, I need to finish getting dressed." Kaworu turned his head to catch Shinji's mouth with his own for a moment, then gently backed away a bit. "We can play later though." He's still as playful as a child. When he lets himself be He grinned at Shinji who shrugged. "No problem, I'll be out in the kitchen." Kaworu watched him leave and giggled. He really does have a nice butt. Jeans compliment it well He yawned, still tired for some reason.
Soon the couple was siting on a granite bench in the almost non-existent shadow of the sizable Asian dragon statue. They split a *real* can of soda this time, people watching to pass the time. A girl with long black hair started to walk by then halted in mid-stride. She came over and looked right at Kaworu with a beaming smile.
"Ookami? Kaworu-kun? It *has* to be you! I've never seen anyone else with gray hair!" she said in an excited, forceful voice. Shinji was startled by her boldness, hesitating as Kaworu stood to smile at the young woman, giving her a friendly hug. He quietly watched the scene play out, standing a little off to the side. "You've certainly grown up a lot, Sakura-kun. You look well." Kaworu observed the more mature features of his childhood friend, causing Sakura to blush at his compliment.
"Ookami, is that a come on? A girl usually wants a date first!" Kaworu laughed and Shinji raised a brow. Boy, is she clueless! Kaworu reached over to pull Shinji in front of him. "I'd like you to meet Ikari Shinji- kun. Shinji-kun, this rather forward young woman is my old friend Wakai Sakura." He patted Shinji's shoulder. Shinji grinned nervously. "K - konnichi wa, Wakai-san."
Sakura gave him a skeptical look up and down, then smiled at him. "Nice to meet you, Ikari-san. Ookami's told me a lot about you." She always was a no-nonsense girl, so Kaworu wasn't surprised when she said, "You know, my roommate Kasumi would like you. Interested in a blind date?" Kaworu grinned as Shinji got a 'deer in the headlights' look on his face.
"Sakura-kun, I meant to tell you but I thought it'd be best to do it face to face." Kaworu took a deep breath. "I'm already spoken for and so is Shinji-kun."
Sakura frowned, folding her arms across her chest. "Well hell! Both of you have girlfriends?! I'm so jealous now! I guess I waited too long." She snorted. "Of course, it's not like I could *find* you or anything. Should've known you'd be snatched up." Kaworu shook his gray head, keeping a grip on Shinji's shoulders. "Sakura-kun, that's not what I meant."
"Well, what else could you possibly mean? Oh.." She brought a hand up to her mouth, eyes widening. "Oh my.."
"Yes. I'm gay, Sakura-kun." Kaworu knit his brow. "I hope - I hope that this doesn't mean we're not friends anymore?" She was speechless for a moment. "Well - What's *his* excuse?!" She gestured to Shinji who cringed at the fiery look in her eyes. She was desperate to find a way out of her embarrassment at not knowing better.
Kaworu reached down to catch Shinji's left hand, bringing it up to show her. She was shaking her head in denial as she spied the ring. "Shinji-kun and I are engaged," he said softly with a proud smile. "Gomen nasai, Sakura, I really am. I was hoping you'd be happy for me."
Sakura was on the verge of tears, clenching her fists as she shook. Suddenly, she screwed up her face, wiped her eyes - then hauled off and bitch-slapped Shinji with enough force to turn his head. Both boys were stunned. Shinji's eyes were wide as he reached up to touch his stinging cheek. Kaworu held him close, looking at Sakura with a confused frown.
"Why did you hurt Shinji? I would think that *I'd* be the one you'd want to hit, Sakura-kun," Kaworu said softly. He looked at Shinji's face when he turned around, seeing the frightened look he had. He could also see the welt on his cheek starting to show up. Shinji buried his head against Kaworu's neck as Kaworu stroked his dark hair to soothe his jangled nerves. Sakura's face was flushed with emotion, looking at the hand she'd slapped Shinji with, then at Kaworu, puzzled as she hugged herself, trying to ignore the offending hand somehow.
"G - gomen nasai! Kaworu-kun, I - Ikari - san, gomen nasai.." She sniffled a bit, wiping at her eyes, oblivious to their surroundings. "I guess - I was so jealous, when I saw that ring and - and how happy you looked.. I just - snapped. I hadn't seen you for so long and I felt like - like I'd lost you again somehow. I know it sounds stupid."
Kaworu gave her an understanding smile. "No it doesn't. I really should've told you sooner, but I wanted to share this special occasion, too." Still holding Shinji, he reached out a hand to her. "Onegai.. Can we still be friends? You, Shinji and our friend Misato are the only close friends I have. I don't want to lose any of you."
Sakura gave him a small smile, taking the offered hand. "Of course. Nothing you could do or say would ever change my mind about that!" She offered her other hand to Shinji who shied a bit, looking at her questioningly. "I'd like to be your friend, too, Ikari-san. If you'll have me?" It was Shinji's turn to be skeptical but he saw she was sincere about it and repentant about scaring the hell out of him. He warily took her hand, smiling slightly. She's still scary. I'd hate to piss her off! Oh well. Anyone Kaworu vouches for is a friend of mine
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Kaworu felt pretty tired the next morning. He didn't understand why, he'd had enough sleep, as far as he could remember. He cuddled close to Shinji, groaning in his sleep. Shinji turned to face him, running a sleepy hand through his gray hair, brushing his lips lightly with his own.
"Mornin'.." He softly kissed his nose. Kaworu felt Shinji's hot breath on his face as he put light kisses over his eyelids. "Time to get up, sleepyhead." Kaworu just snuggled up more, saying, "Uh uh," as he pushed his head under Shinji's chin.
"Suit yourself. 'M gonna go make breakfast." Shinji yawned and kissed the fluffy gray head, deftly avoiding the questing fingers. The gray head made a disappointed noise and retreated further under the warm comforter. Shinji smiled, rubbing his eyes as he slid out of bed, feeling for his pajama pants. He stretched and went to crack the blinds behind the curtains to let a little diffused light in. Blinking at the sudden brightness, he wandered into the kitchen, scratching at his bare back.
Soon he had toast; bacon, fruit and juice, all set up at the small table. Hmm. He should've been up by now He went back into the bedroom to try again to wake his sleeping beauty. "C'mon Kao-chan! Come eat, it's gonna get cold." He pulled the covers back to tickle. Kaworu giggled, squirming and stretching like a cat then caught Shinji's thin wrists.
"Okay, okay! 'M awake, Shin-chan!" He sat up and slid on his pjs, blinking as he stood up. He felt a little dizzy. "Must've gotten up too fast." He took a couple steps before his ankles gave out. Startled, he leaned towards the bed, managing to sit down heavily as Shinji scrambled over to him to catch his shoulders. "Kaworu! What happened?"
"I'm not sure. My feet feel kind of numb, like pins and needles." Kaworu looked at Shinji as he scooted up farther on the bed. "Maybe you just pinched a nerve while you slept?" Shinji suggested. "You should just stay put and give yourself time to wake up. I'll bring breakfast to you." Kaworu started to protest that he could take care of himself just fine, but Shinji gave him a quick peck on the cheek and was off before he could get it out coherently.
When, by lunchtime, Kaworu still hadn't been able to get around without Shinji, they knew it was time to get some help. "I'll call Misato, she'll know something, I'm sure," Shinji said as he gathered some clothes for the two of them, tossing Kaworu his while quickly hopping into a pair of jeans and impatiently yanking a T-shirt over his head.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Wait, hold on Shinji! What's the matter?" Misato asked into the phone. She was sitting at her desk, filling out paperwork in her office. Those two are impossible! Thought they'd mature a little with age "Okay, nani? Kaworu's got a problem?"
"Yeah," Shinji said, going on to explain. "So, what can we do? I can't just take him to an emergency room, you know? I'm really worried!"
Misato sighed, adjusting her phone headset as she sat back in her chair. "Lemme think a moment.." Pinching the bridge of her nose and folding her arms close to her obvious cleavage, she closed her eyes. Alright Katsuragi, think! Where can I send a broken Angel to get fixed?
"Hey, Shinji? I think I've got it." She took out her planner and flipped through it. "Write this down." She gave him the name and info. "This guy was one of the consultants on the Eva project. He knows when and how to keep his mouth shut. He's still a practicing doc though, so he should be able to help Kaworu."
"Thanks Misato. For everything.." Shinji ran a hand through his hair as he fidgeted in his chair. She's done so much for us already. We wouldn't even be here today if she hadn't so understood about Kaworu's relationship with me
"No problem. I've got a mountain of papers to crack a whip over, so call me later and let me know what's going on, okay?" Misato asked. "Sure. Bye now." Shinji hung up the phone and went to pitch Misato's idea to Kaworu.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Soon, Shinji supported Kaworu as they went to the car and were on their way to the office of Misato's connection. Shinji said they were lucky to get an appointment on short notice, but he'd dropped Misato's name to get it done. It was a bit of a drive, almost to the rural section of Tokyo-3. Not five minutes after they had signed Kaworu in, the doctor himself came out to usher them in, asking if Kaworu needed any assistance but Shinji assured him that he could handle it. He really wasn't crazy about medical people touching his koibito.
He helped Kaworu up onto the exam table and sat (more like perched) in the spare chair as the doctor took Kaworu's vitals.
"Well now.." He looked down at Kaworu's chart. "Nagisa-san, I'm Dr. Yukito. What seems to be the problem?" He swiftly went over it with him, Kaworu quietly answering and obediently turning this way or that when asked to. He winced when the doctor drew a few vials of blood, but was otherwise rather quiet, which puzzled Shinji. Though I don't blame him. I hate needles too
"Alright Nagisa-san, one last test for now. I'll need you to take off your shoes and socks so I can see how far the numbness ranges." Dr. Yukito scribbled down Kaworu's information. Kami-sama, I hope he doesn't ask me for samples of anything else! Kaworu sent Shinji a reassuring look. It's okay koihe thought-spoke to him. Shinji's eyes widened but he nodded in return that he'd heard him. They hadn't thought-spoke in front of others in a long time; it was normally too private.
The doctor took out a sterile needle, holding Kaworu's feet, one at a time, touching the point to various spots on them, asking Kaworu to tell him if he could feel it or not. At the end of the test, he told them, "Well, the numbness stops a bit above the ankle on both feet. Can you move your toes or turn your feet?" Kaworu awkwardly wriggled his toes, twitching his feet a little. "It feels odd, like - like they're not quite attached or something like that."
"Don't worry, Nagisa-san. Go home and rest, I'll see that these are tested - Long-ranging tests, if you know what I mean. I'll get back to you and tell Ms. Katsuragi-san hello. I'll do what needs to be done for you." Dr. Yukito tapped the little vials of Kaworu's blood.
"Hai. Thank you, sensei, I will." Kaworu looked uneasily at them. Blood doesn't lie, I suppose. But time will also tell
(A Few Days Later)
"Moshi moshi.. Oh, hello again sensei.. No, it's okay, I was just taking a nap," Kaworu said into the phone. Shinji had woken him because Dr. Yukito had called with his test results. He gave him some privacy, going out into the living room to read. "So, do you know what's wrong? I - I see. So you've talked with Misato-san? Thank you for your help, sensei.. No, the numbness is gone but it still tingles a little.. Yes, I guess that'll be alright. I'll keep the appointment, I promise. Good bye." He turned off the phone and sat there in bed, a few tears escaping his eyes.
A little while later, Shinji tentatively came into their room. Kaworu was lying down again but Shinji could see his shoulders shaking under the blanket. He slid under the covers to cuddle up, putting an arm around Kaworu to just quietly hold him as he cried it out. When he'd calmed down a bit, Shinji asked softly, "Do you want to talk about it?"
Kaworu sniffled, wiping his eyes as he turned to face him. "Yes. I should, shouldn't I? Sensei told me he talked to Misato about - who I was. He found some sort of cell-damaging chemical in my blood. He thinks that may be what's going on, but he wants to do more specific tests and.. A more complete physical." He sniffled again. "I hate this, Shinji! I thought I was through with being poked and prodded by doctors forever!"
Shinji stoked his gray hair. " Don't worry, I'll be there with you. We'll get through this together." The pair cuddled close as they fell asleep together with their fingers intertwined.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Well, how was it? Hope you all enjoyed it & I'll try and post the next part soon. Ja ne, minnasan!
Disclaimer: I don't own Evangelion, the lyrics from the song mentioned in ch. 1 or my two favorite bishonen (But I *do* own this fic)
Warnings/Notes: Shonen-ai/yaoi here as usual. I apologize ahead of time for the length. It's like this for a reason. I do hope you keep reading? About the out of character-ness: These two aren't carbon copies of themselves at ages 15 & 14. They're a few years older now, no more battles or Evas to pilot & they've been living w/each other since then. (This is technically the *middle* of my K & S trilogy, so you might understand it a little better if you read them in order)
Kaworu's getting used to living as a Lilim. (But hasn't forsaken his Angel abilities) He's exploring it, enjoying what he finds. Shinji has grown as a person too, learning how to be himself, instead of living like he has no real choices. (Pointless info: The main song I had in mind for their club dancing from chapter 1, was 'Can't Get You Out of My Head' by Kylie Minogue) And to bean, Dark Fox, Kiwi Walpole, ikari38 & Neoangel arigato for your kind reviews! Dark Hikari Kamiya, glad you found me again, too! Hope you like the fic! Oh and these: are thoughts.
Chapter 2: The Avenging Angel
"I'm so tired but I can't sleep.
Standin' on the edge of something much too deep.
It's funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word.
We are screaming inside, but we can't be heard."
June, 2018
(Kaworu's Diary Entries)
June 6/ I've been writing in this humble book for a little while now & today I guess I'm feeling a little reflective. It's Shinji's birthday today & my koibito turns 17. We had quite a good time I think, since I'm writing this in our 'bed' & he's here beside me asleep, rather exhausted. I just *had* to repay him for the birthday surprise he gave *me* last year.
I love to watch him sleep. He has such a soft, relaxed expression, even when his face is still flushed. I've turned the daemon clock radio off since there's no need to get up early tomorrow. He should sleep in. (And I hope he forgives me in the morning)
There was a full moon tonight. I took advantage of it by leaving the curtains & windows open to let the moonlight & fresh air in. It usually smells of flowers instead of exhaust this time of year, thankfully. I know how much more relaxed he is when the room lights are off so I made love to him in a nest of blankets on the floor in the moonlight. So what if the neighbors in the next building got an eyeful? I think it might've loosened them up a bit!
I believe it was a successful birthday present, especially since I wore his favorite shirt again which got precisely the reaction I'd hoped for.
June 14/ Something interesting happened while Shinji was at school. He had cello practice today too, so he was home late. I got a call while making lunch, from a young woman who introduced herself as Yoake & told me she was the woman at the counter of the shop I'd browsed in last year. I asked her how she'd gotten my number & she admitted that she'd looked at my account slip. I asked her if there was a problem. (I was sure I had enough in my savings, thanks to Misato. I'd checked before Shinji & I'd left for our vacation) She said no, no problem, just a question.
She asked if I'd gone to Isogashii Elementary School. I told her yes, for a little while. It sort of threw me for a moment, because one doesn't expect a stranger to ask such a personal question. She then asked if I'd been in Miss Yuki-sensei's class. I said yes & was just about to ask politely if there was a point to my interrogation, when she dropped a loaded statement on me: "Then you must be the ookami that Sakura-kun talked about."
I think I remember having to sit down, almost dropping my sandwich. She said she was a friend of Sakura's roommate & the three of them had hung out a lot before Sakura had moved out of Tokyo-3. She asked me if she could give my mailing address to Sakura & if it was okay for her to get in touch, which I of course agreed to. I look forward to hearing from her. I guess that Seele can take me from school, but they couldn't dull the memory of my old friend. I can't wait to introduce her to Shinji!
(Sometime Later That Month)
"Here's some mail for you Kao-chan." Shinji picked up the contents of the box on the inside of their door and sorted it out. Slipping off his shoes in the shallow genkan, he ditched the junk mail and put Kaworu's monthly manga magazine and a letter on the corner of the desk.
Kaworu was sitting in the living room at said desk as he did his online classes. Shinji flopped on the couch, hurling his backpack into a soft armchair. He must've had a bad dayKaworu turned in his chair to regard him. From what he could see, Shinji definitely had a look on his face that said, 'I'm *really* pissed and trying not to show it,' as he clicked on the TV.
I'll just leave him alone for now. He'll tell me eventuallyKaworu turned his attention to the letter, unable to keep the smile from his face as he saw the return name of Wakai Sakura and quickly opened it.
'Konnichi wa, ookami!
Ogenki desu ka? I'm fine but I never thought I'd find you again! I practically tackled my roommate Kasumi when she told me about Yoake-kun's 'kawaii, gray haired customer' & handed me your address. I've missed you Kaworu-kun. It's been a long time. Here is my addresses & phone number. Please get in touch with me, I want to know what's happened in your life. Maybe we can have lunch sometime? Well, I hate to cut this short but I need sleep! I'm writing this *far* too late for a school night!
Sayonara for now,
Wakai Sakura'
Folding the letter away, Kaworu gave a little laugh and turned back to Shinji. "Shin-chan, you'll never guess -" He broke off when he saw that Shinji was looking at the wall, hugging his drawn up knees. He wasn't paying any attention to the TV. Concerned, Kaworu came over to sit near the couch on the soft carpeted floor.
He quietly stroked Shinji's hair, noting that he flinched when he touched him. What happened to make him afraid of me? I wasn't a rough seme this morningHis brow knit. He knew if he just lent his presence to Shinji long enough, he would open up. And after a few quiet moments he did - by crying and shaking.
Ever so gently, Kaworu reached up to turn Shinji's face toward him, guiding his chin. He was shocked and heartbroken by what he saw. Shinji's left eye was bruised and swollen and his lip was cut. He took in the rest of the picture as well: Shinji's short sleeve school shirt and jeans were a little dirty, his shirt was missing a few buttons. He definitely looks roughed upKaworu wiped at his tears, careful of his eye.
"My poor Shinji! We should take you to get that looked at," he said softly. Shinji screwed up his face, wincing and turning away again.
"I'm fine, Kao-chan. I just want to be alone for a while. Please?" He sniffled, shaking a little and Kaworu gave him a sympathetic look he never saw. A little hurt but understanding, he got up on his knees and gave Shinji a little kiss at his temple, causing him to flinch again. Sighing, he quietly got up and sent his lesson in for the afternoon then went into their bedroom.
He curled up on his side with Shinji's little Riiya plushie and a sad smile. I remember winning you for Shin-chanHe looked down at the fluffy little white wolf. Even if I *did* use my telekinesis to do it Snuggling the toy close he sniffed the soft artificial fur, picking up Shinji's light scent. Almost asleep a little later, he felt a slight weight and a warm body cuddle up behind him, then came the familiar arm to snake around his waist to link fingers with him.
"Gomen nasai Kaworu. Forgive me?" Shinji asked softly in his ear. "My day was just so damn stupid!"
"It's alright, you can tell me whenever you're ready," Kaworu said, giving Shinji's fingers a squeeze.
"Can we just take a nap for now? I - I'll be ready later," Shinji said, snuggling as close as he could get. "Sure. I've got something to tell you, too," Kaworu yawned.
After dinner they relaxed on the couch, watching TV and Kaworu told Shinji about Sakura. He was happy for him and said he thought it'd be nice to meet her. Shinji was a little fidgety as he danced around the topic of his screwed up day, but eventually he'd managed to blurt it all out in an embarrassed rush. Kaworu was stunned, listening patiently as his flustered partner told all.
"And - and that's all that happened, I promise! Jeez, I wanna go hide under a rock somewhere now!" Shinji was unable to look Kaworu in the eye. Kaworu put his arms around him, nuzzling the back of his head. "I believe you Shin-chan. Don't worry, I'm sure that it'll be taken care of. So you can relax now."
(Sometime Next Morning)
"Who the hell are you?" A cold looking brunette boy with spiky hair turned to face the person who'd tapped him on the shoulder. He saw a gray haired boy his height with bizarre red eyes staring at him coolly.
"You are the one who harassed Ikari Shinji-kun," Kaworu stated plainly, folding his arms across his chest. The boy snorted in contempt. He'd been walking to his next class when this strange kid stopped him. "So what if I did?" He leaned toward Kaworu with a smirk, raising his fist. "You got a problem with it?"
Kaworu's eyes flashed with anger, narrowing as he lightly scanned the punk's mind, causing the guy to stop and stare vacantly for a moment. How DARE he! A snarl came to his lips. He just couldn't take 'no' for an answer! He finished the scan and the kid (Named Li, he'd found out) shook his head, looking around, then started at Kaworu.
"What the hell did you do to me you freak?!" He swung a wild punch Kaworu dodged easily, floating a few inches above the ground. He stopped Li in mid turn with his psychic abilities, leaning in close to look the pissed off guy in his wide blue eyes.
"No one can force themselves on another without their consent and expect not to suffer the consequences," Kaworu said in a low voice.
Li snarled angrily. "The little slut was asking for it dammit! Walkin' around, showing off his ass in those jeans, flashing those grins! How can anybody ignore that?! So I gave him what he was too chicken shit to admit he wanted! Taught him a lesson, too!"
Kaworu could barely control his anger, a light breeze generated by his own energy tossing around his gray hair. He was inches from Li, narrowing his eyes again. "Well then. How about I give you what *I* want and teach you to respect Shinji-kun?" He said this in a rather dangerous tone, causing Li's eyes to widen in fear. About fifteen minutes later he could be heard yelling at the top of his lungs all over school from a *very* interesting location..
(Kaworu's Diary Entries)
June 20/ Today was a very satisfying day after starting somewhat badly. Early this morning before Shinji went to school I found bruises on his arms and ribs. I asked him about them & he figured they were from when that obnoxious brat Li had beaten him the day before. His eye hadn't felt much relief from the swelling yet, either.
I was, needless to say, pissed that he'd suffered such abuse. Little did I know what I'd get from Li's own mind about the situation; he'd caught Shinji alone after school, cornering him. I could tell from his mind that he'd been planning it for a while, just waiting for the right time. I also learned that Shinji'd spurned his advances for quite a while. I imagine that he'd been too embarrassed to tell me. (I can definitely forgive him that. I've been guilty of keeping secrets myself)
He had come very close to being raped fully by this kid, only the fear of being seen had kept Li from it. Instead, he'd beaten Shinji after he had fought his rough groping, then Shinji had been crudely (ahem) 'jerked off' by him. Shinji was so ashamed by it that he'd almost not told me. (This was what had made him flinch when I'd merely tried to comfort him) I understand though, I don't know that I'd be too eager to relive such things just so I could tell someone else.
But I believe that I fixed things as best as I could today. I don't think he'll be bothering Shinji anymore.
(Later That Day)
"Wow, you'll never believe what happened today Kao-chan!" Shinji came into the living room, dropping his pack in a chair. Kaworu looked up from cleaning and tuning his violin at the coffee table to flash Shinji a smile. "Hmm, let me guess.. Someone's dirty laundry got aired?" he asked innocently. Shinji's eyes widened at Kaworu's statement. "Something like that. How'd you know?"
"Just a lucky guess. But do tell, Shinji." Kaworu put his instrument aside to give him his undivided attention.
Shinji raised a brow. "Okay, I will. You know that - jerk - that beat me up yesterday? Seems someone strung him up the flagpole by his boxers. He was yelling for help for an hour before they managed to get him down." He grinned happily. "But not before they got a picture of him for the school paper! I can see the headline: 'Jock Gets Jacked By His Jockeys.'" He giggled as he went to the kitchen for a drink.
"Glad to see you had a good day then. I doubt you'll have a problem with Li anymore?" Kaworu called. If he even goes back to school, that is He giggled aloud at that.
"Wait a minute - how do you know his name?" Shinji came back with an ice pack and a juice box. He parked it in the armchair, relaxing with the pack gingerly over his eye. "Don't tell me - Oh Kami, you had something to do with it?"
"Yes I did. Gomen Shin-chan but I couldn't let what happened to you go unpunished. Can you forgive my temper?" Kaworu asked, a little slyly. So I'm protective of him. I love my koibito, I can't help it
"Kaworu.. That was pretty risky, ne?" Shinji sighed as he sipped his juice. "What if someone saw you? Not that I'm complaining though!"
"Don't worry Shinji, no one saw me. I just thought I should make an example of him, that's all." Kaworu finished with his violin then came over to kneel at Shinji's feet, resting his folded arms across Shinji's knees. He set his chin on them and stared up at Shinji who turned the TV to his favorite anime show. "Are you upset with me? You know I'd never reveal myself unless there was a good reason, I promised you and Misato I wouldn't."
Shinji looked down into Kaworu's eyes as he adjusted the ice pack. "I'm not mad at you, I just wish you wouldn't put yourself at risk so much." He offered Kaworu a sip from the box's little straw. "I don't want anyone to try and dissect you or anything, you're the only person I'm really attached to, you know?"
"That I *do* know. But you're the only one I'd be reckless over, if it meant I could make you happy and keep you safe. I'll be more discreet about it in the future though," Kaworu told him, enjoying the sweetness of the juice as he sipped the offered straw again.
(Kaworu's Diary Entries)
July 1/ I've been very happy over the past few days, on the phone with Sakura trying to arrange a date to get together but we've both been pretty busy. Her tests are this week so she's studying quite a bit. Plus, poor Shinji came home from school sick yesterday & I've been up all night nursing him through it. It seems he got food poisoning, his school nurse had told him. I hate seeing him in pain. He can hardly keep anything down but I'm trying to make sure he drinks enough and rests - in between his bathroom sprints.
July 16/ Shinji's feeling much better today & he's going back to school. He thinks I should take it easy since I've been putting up with his body betraying him over the past couple weeks. Taking care of him doesn't bother me. I actually enjoy it, though I wish it'd been under different circumstances. (Listening to your koi being violently ill every few hours sort of kills the warm & fuzzy feelings of nurturing you'd had for him moments before his two meter dash to the bathroom)
But I have a surprise I'm working on that I'm sure will put a smile on his face. I shared it only with Misato, who was a tad stunned but got behind it with me. She's happy for me and excited, too. She even helped me set it all up, since I had no idea how, I just knew it was what I wanted to do. It felt right. I can't wait to see his face!
July 25/ I've been e-mailing Sakura a bit. She's not sure if she'll pass, because she pulled many all-nighters with her friends where the main thing studied was the TV screen while they played video games. I told her she was paranoid, but she came back with, 'I'll believe it when I see it'. Shinji had a school concert tonight & I managed to get Misato to go with me to it. She told me I was lucky she could get tonight off at such short notice. (She's normally busy with her new position in the Neo Japan Department of Defense) I told her it would be a nice surprise for Shinji, who was worried about playing in public. I still remember our duet a few years ago when I was recovering from my injuries. He plays so well!
He just doesn't have any faith in himself. It was an excellent concert. They even played my favorite Beethoven! I made it up to Shin-chan later after the three of us went out to Misato's favorite restaurant. I got quite a smile out of him when I suggested in his ear that we go home & 'tune our instruments.'
August 5/ I finally sprang the surprise I've been working on all year on Shinji. (And I thank generous, patient Misato for helping me) Dinner went very well. (I wore his shirt again & I *know* it turns him on) But then I got to the point - and got down on one knee to propose to the one who taught me about love.
His face.. It was so rewarding I almost couldn't believe it. I actually made him cry, but I knew it was a 'yes' in his mind. He was speechless. The kiss he gave me.. It felt like our minds were one again, like he'd put his very soul into it..
His hand had shook almost as bad as mine when I slid the diamond engagement ring on his finger. It was all I could do to hold him close and cry with him. Crying is such hypocrisy. How can happiness cause the same reaction as sadness? Does pleasure share the same edge of the blade of life as pain? All I know for sure is that tonight I held the one I was destined to be with in my arms & showed him how much I loved & wanted him.
Shinji is stronger than he knows but his heart is fragile, like glass. He needs to be shown that he's not just one of the millions of other Lilim. There's no one else like Shinji, in my opinion & there could never be another in my life. I look forward to our future together. I'm not sure when we should have the ceremony but I'd like to make it special, maybe an old Shinto-style one? I've always loved the old Japanese-style clothes & rituals. Very relaxing & balancing of the soul, I think.
(Sometime Later That Month)
"Heh heh.. Heh heh heh.. Shin-chan, that tickles! C'mon, we're going to be late. I told Sakura we'd meet her at the dragon statue in the park at noon." Kaworu wriggled free of Shinji's busy fingers. He was standing at the full-length mirror on the back of their bedroom door, trying to tuck his long sleeve shirt in. Shinji was standing behind him with his head resting on Kaworu's shoulder, trying to go after his ribs under the shirt.
"Can't help it, I'm feeling very genki today. I've wanted to meet your friend for a while now." Shinji grinned as he looked at their reflections in the mirror. "And I'm excited about this!" He showed off his ringed left hand, bringing it up to pull back some of Kaworu's soft gray bangs. He kissed the bared temple, feeling the light pulse through his lips. I still can't believe this is all real. But I'm so glad it is!
"As tempting as this is koi, I need to finish getting dressed." Kaworu turned his head to catch Shinji's mouth with his own for a moment, then gently backed away a bit. "We can play later though." He's still as playful as a child. When he lets himself be He grinned at Shinji who shrugged. "No problem, I'll be out in the kitchen." Kaworu watched him leave and giggled. He really does have a nice butt. Jeans compliment it well He yawned, still tired for some reason.
Soon the couple was siting on a granite bench in the almost non-existent shadow of the sizable Asian dragon statue. They split a *real* can of soda this time, people watching to pass the time. A girl with long black hair started to walk by then halted in mid-stride. She came over and looked right at Kaworu with a beaming smile.
"Ookami? Kaworu-kun? It *has* to be you! I've never seen anyone else with gray hair!" she said in an excited, forceful voice. Shinji was startled by her boldness, hesitating as Kaworu stood to smile at the young woman, giving her a friendly hug. He quietly watched the scene play out, standing a little off to the side. "You've certainly grown up a lot, Sakura-kun. You look well." Kaworu observed the more mature features of his childhood friend, causing Sakura to blush at his compliment.
"Ookami, is that a come on? A girl usually wants a date first!" Kaworu laughed and Shinji raised a brow. Boy, is she clueless! Kaworu reached over to pull Shinji in front of him. "I'd like you to meet Ikari Shinji- kun. Shinji-kun, this rather forward young woman is my old friend Wakai Sakura." He patted Shinji's shoulder. Shinji grinned nervously. "K - konnichi wa, Wakai-san."
Sakura gave him a skeptical look up and down, then smiled at him. "Nice to meet you, Ikari-san. Ookami's told me a lot about you." She always was a no-nonsense girl, so Kaworu wasn't surprised when she said, "You know, my roommate Kasumi would like you. Interested in a blind date?" Kaworu grinned as Shinji got a 'deer in the headlights' look on his face.
"Sakura-kun, I meant to tell you but I thought it'd be best to do it face to face." Kaworu took a deep breath. "I'm already spoken for and so is Shinji-kun."
Sakura frowned, folding her arms across her chest. "Well hell! Both of you have girlfriends?! I'm so jealous now! I guess I waited too long." She snorted. "Of course, it's not like I could *find* you or anything. Should've known you'd be snatched up." Kaworu shook his gray head, keeping a grip on Shinji's shoulders. "Sakura-kun, that's not what I meant."
"Well, what else could you possibly mean? Oh.." She brought a hand up to her mouth, eyes widening. "Oh my.."
"Yes. I'm gay, Sakura-kun." Kaworu knit his brow. "I hope - I hope that this doesn't mean we're not friends anymore?" She was speechless for a moment. "Well - What's *his* excuse?!" She gestured to Shinji who cringed at the fiery look in her eyes. She was desperate to find a way out of her embarrassment at not knowing better.
Kaworu reached down to catch Shinji's left hand, bringing it up to show her. She was shaking her head in denial as she spied the ring. "Shinji-kun and I are engaged," he said softly with a proud smile. "Gomen nasai, Sakura, I really am. I was hoping you'd be happy for me."
Sakura was on the verge of tears, clenching her fists as she shook. Suddenly, she screwed up her face, wiped her eyes - then hauled off and bitch-slapped Shinji with enough force to turn his head. Both boys were stunned. Shinji's eyes were wide as he reached up to touch his stinging cheek. Kaworu held him close, looking at Sakura with a confused frown.
"Why did you hurt Shinji? I would think that *I'd* be the one you'd want to hit, Sakura-kun," Kaworu said softly. He looked at Shinji's face when he turned around, seeing the frightened look he had. He could also see the welt on his cheek starting to show up. Shinji buried his head against Kaworu's neck as Kaworu stroked his dark hair to soothe his jangled nerves. Sakura's face was flushed with emotion, looking at the hand she'd slapped Shinji with, then at Kaworu, puzzled as she hugged herself, trying to ignore the offending hand somehow.
"G - gomen nasai! Kaworu-kun, I - Ikari - san, gomen nasai.." She sniffled a bit, wiping at her eyes, oblivious to their surroundings. "I guess - I was so jealous, when I saw that ring and - and how happy you looked.. I just - snapped. I hadn't seen you for so long and I felt like - like I'd lost you again somehow. I know it sounds stupid."
Kaworu gave her an understanding smile. "No it doesn't. I really should've told you sooner, but I wanted to share this special occasion, too." Still holding Shinji, he reached out a hand to her. "Onegai.. Can we still be friends? You, Shinji and our friend Misato are the only close friends I have. I don't want to lose any of you."
Sakura gave him a small smile, taking the offered hand. "Of course. Nothing you could do or say would ever change my mind about that!" She offered her other hand to Shinji who shied a bit, looking at her questioningly. "I'd like to be your friend, too, Ikari-san. If you'll have me?" It was Shinji's turn to be skeptical but he saw she was sincere about it and repentant about scaring the hell out of him. He warily took her hand, smiling slightly. She's still scary. I'd hate to piss her off! Oh well. Anyone Kaworu vouches for is a friend of mine
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Kaworu felt pretty tired the next morning. He didn't understand why, he'd had enough sleep, as far as he could remember. He cuddled close to Shinji, groaning in his sleep. Shinji turned to face him, running a sleepy hand through his gray hair, brushing his lips lightly with his own.
"Mornin'.." He softly kissed his nose. Kaworu felt Shinji's hot breath on his face as he put light kisses over his eyelids. "Time to get up, sleepyhead." Kaworu just snuggled up more, saying, "Uh uh," as he pushed his head under Shinji's chin.
"Suit yourself. 'M gonna go make breakfast." Shinji yawned and kissed the fluffy gray head, deftly avoiding the questing fingers. The gray head made a disappointed noise and retreated further under the warm comforter. Shinji smiled, rubbing his eyes as he slid out of bed, feeling for his pajama pants. He stretched and went to crack the blinds behind the curtains to let a little diffused light in. Blinking at the sudden brightness, he wandered into the kitchen, scratching at his bare back.
Soon he had toast; bacon, fruit and juice, all set up at the small table. Hmm. He should've been up by now He went back into the bedroom to try again to wake his sleeping beauty. "C'mon Kao-chan! Come eat, it's gonna get cold." He pulled the covers back to tickle. Kaworu giggled, squirming and stretching like a cat then caught Shinji's thin wrists.
"Okay, okay! 'M awake, Shin-chan!" He sat up and slid on his pjs, blinking as he stood up. He felt a little dizzy. "Must've gotten up too fast." He took a couple steps before his ankles gave out. Startled, he leaned towards the bed, managing to sit down heavily as Shinji scrambled over to him to catch his shoulders. "Kaworu! What happened?"
"I'm not sure. My feet feel kind of numb, like pins and needles." Kaworu looked at Shinji as he scooted up farther on the bed. "Maybe you just pinched a nerve while you slept?" Shinji suggested. "You should just stay put and give yourself time to wake up. I'll bring breakfast to you." Kaworu started to protest that he could take care of himself just fine, but Shinji gave him a quick peck on the cheek and was off before he could get it out coherently.
When, by lunchtime, Kaworu still hadn't been able to get around without Shinji, they knew it was time to get some help. "I'll call Misato, she'll know something, I'm sure," Shinji said as he gathered some clothes for the two of them, tossing Kaworu his while quickly hopping into a pair of jeans and impatiently yanking a T-shirt over his head.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Wait, hold on Shinji! What's the matter?" Misato asked into the phone. She was sitting at her desk, filling out paperwork in her office. Those two are impossible! Thought they'd mature a little with age "Okay, nani? Kaworu's got a problem?"
"Yeah," Shinji said, going on to explain. "So, what can we do? I can't just take him to an emergency room, you know? I'm really worried!"
Misato sighed, adjusting her phone headset as she sat back in her chair. "Lemme think a moment.." Pinching the bridge of her nose and folding her arms close to her obvious cleavage, she closed her eyes. Alright Katsuragi, think! Where can I send a broken Angel to get fixed?
"Hey, Shinji? I think I've got it." She took out her planner and flipped through it. "Write this down." She gave him the name and info. "This guy was one of the consultants on the Eva project. He knows when and how to keep his mouth shut. He's still a practicing doc though, so he should be able to help Kaworu."
"Thanks Misato. For everything.." Shinji ran a hand through his hair as he fidgeted in his chair. She's done so much for us already. We wouldn't even be here today if she hadn't so understood about Kaworu's relationship with me
"No problem. I've got a mountain of papers to crack a whip over, so call me later and let me know what's going on, okay?" Misato asked. "Sure. Bye now." Shinji hung up the phone and went to pitch Misato's idea to Kaworu.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Soon, Shinji supported Kaworu as they went to the car and were on their way to the office of Misato's connection. Shinji said they were lucky to get an appointment on short notice, but he'd dropped Misato's name to get it done. It was a bit of a drive, almost to the rural section of Tokyo-3. Not five minutes after they had signed Kaworu in, the doctor himself came out to usher them in, asking if Kaworu needed any assistance but Shinji assured him that he could handle it. He really wasn't crazy about medical people touching his koibito.
He helped Kaworu up onto the exam table and sat (more like perched) in the spare chair as the doctor took Kaworu's vitals.
"Well now.." He looked down at Kaworu's chart. "Nagisa-san, I'm Dr. Yukito. What seems to be the problem?" He swiftly went over it with him, Kaworu quietly answering and obediently turning this way or that when asked to. He winced when the doctor drew a few vials of blood, but was otherwise rather quiet, which puzzled Shinji. Though I don't blame him. I hate needles too
"Alright Nagisa-san, one last test for now. I'll need you to take off your shoes and socks so I can see how far the numbness ranges." Dr. Yukito scribbled down Kaworu's information. Kami-sama, I hope he doesn't ask me for samples of anything else! Kaworu sent Shinji a reassuring look. It's okay koihe thought-spoke to him. Shinji's eyes widened but he nodded in return that he'd heard him. They hadn't thought-spoke in front of others in a long time; it was normally too private.
The doctor took out a sterile needle, holding Kaworu's feet, one at a time, touching the point to various spots on them, asking Kaworu to tell him if he could feel it or not. At the end of the test, he told them, "Well, the numbness stops a bit above the ankle on both feet. Can you move your toes or turn your feet?" Kaworu awkwardly wriggled his toes, twitching his feet a little. "It feels odd, like - like they're not quite attached or something like that."
"Don't worry, Nagisa-san. Go home and rest, I'll see that these are tested - Long-ranging tests, if you know what I mean. I'll get back to you and tell Ms. Katsuragi-san hello. I'll do what needs to be done for you." Dr. Yukito tapped the little vials of Kaworu's blood.
"Hai. Thank you, sensei, I will." Kaworu looked uneasily at them. Blood doesn't lie, I suppose. But time will also tell
(A Few Days Later)
"Moshi moshi.. Oh, hello again sensei.. No, it's okay, I was just taking a nap," Kaworu said into the phone. Shinji had woken him because Dr. Yukito had called with his test results. He gave him some privacy, going out into the living room to read. "So, do you know what's wrong? I - I see. So you've talked with Misato-san? Thank you for your help, sensei.. No, the numbness is gone but it still tingles a little.. Yes, I guess that'll be alright. I'll keep the appointment, I promise. Good bye." He turned off the phone and sat there in bed, a few tears escaping his eyes.
A little while later, Shinji tentatively came into their room. Kaworu was lying down again but Shinji could see his shoulders shaking under the blanket. He slid under the covers to cuddle up, putting an arm around Kaworu to just quietly hold him as he cried it out. When he'd calmed down a bit, Shinji asked softly, "Do you want to talk about it?"
Kaworu sniffled, wiping his eyes as he turned to face him. "Yes. I should, shouldn't I? Sensei told me he talked to Misato about - who I was. He found some sort of cell-damaging chemical in my blood. He thinks that may be what's going on, but he wants to do more specific tests and.. A more complete physical." He sniffled again. "I hate this, Shinji! I thought I was through with being poked and prodded by doctors forever!"
Shinji stoked his gray hair. " Don't worry, I'll be there with you. We'll get through this together." The pair cuddled close as they fell asleep together with their fingers intertwined.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Well, how was it? Hope you all enjoyed it & I'll try and post the next part soon. Ja ne, minnasan!