Unable To Feel
Chapter Five
Disclaimer: don't own Weiss...
Notes: You do know why this fic is in the R section, right? There's a bit of lemon here, near the end so to those who don't lemons, sorry!!! But it's not really that long (I think!). This is the last chapter, hoped you liked the fic! Oh yeah, to answer your question Ewen, no, they didn't rape Youji! _ So that's about it!! Thanks! d;-)
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Youji woke up to the feeling that someone was watching over him. He opened up bleary eyes and looked around the room. His gaze immediately fell on a sleeping redhead sitting on a chair by his bed. Then his eyes traveled down to his hand which was clutched in one of Aya's own. He looked up once again and drank in the beauty of the redhead.
Aya was truly beautiful. He looked especially ravishing when he was asleep. All the lines of tension melted from his face and a serene and calm expression took over his entire features.
Youji slowly sat up, careful not to wake the sleeping redhead. He ran his hand over the soft, ivory skin of one pale cheek. Surprisingly, Aya leaned into the touch. Aya really was different when he was asleep. It seemed like there were no pretensions, no hesitations, and no ice. It seemed like the icy facade melted and the real Aya has shone through.
Slowly, Youji leaned in and placed a soft kiss on Aya's temple. Aya's eyes fluttered open.
"You're awake?" Aya asked, rubbing his eyes to clear the sleep-induced haze. He blinked a few times.
"Yeah."
In an instant the mask came back on. Abruptly, Aya stood up almost knocking down the chair. He avoided Youji's eyes and turned towards the door.
"Aya, wait..."
"What?" came the slightly irritated tone of voice.
"Why?"
"Why what?" asked Aya in a slightly confused voice.
"Why were you here?" Youji muttered somewhat timidly. This time he was the one who averted his gaze. He felt rather than saw Aya tense up.
"Omi asked me to watch over you," he answered curtly. "Since there wasn't anybody left to take care of you, I conceded to the idea."
"Oh," Youji's disappointment could be heard, although he tried hard to hide it. He opened his bedside drawer and took out a pack of cigarettes. He was aware of Aya's disapproving gaze, but he badly needed something to calm himself down. He tapped one out and reached for the lighter. he fumbled to light the cigarette. He tried a few times then Aya spoke up.
'I'm going now. Shout if you need anything and don't smoke in the house." he headed towards the door and closed it behind his retreating back.
Youji tried a few more times to light his cigarette. Frustrated, he put down the unlighted cigarette and lighter on the table and slumped back into his b "He's driving me crazy..." he muttered into thin air.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Sooner than expected, Youji was up and about. He was back to working at the shop and the hordes of schoolgirls couldn't be any happier. The first time he arrived in the shop since his supposed 'accident', the girls could hardly keep their hands off him.
"He's back!!!!!!!!"
"Youji's back!!!!!"
"Youji-kun! You're back!"
"How are you feeling, Youji-kun?"
"We missed you youji-kun!"
"Youji-kun!!!"
"Youji-kun?"
"Youji-kun!!!!!!!!"
"Wha?! Oh, sorry," he shook his head. he hardly noticed the girls since he was too busy staring at Aya who was at one side of the shop, making an arrangement of roses.
"How have you been Youji-kun?" a girl asked, practically throwing herself in front of Youji. He flashed her a grin and resigned to flirting with the girls to keep his mind of Aya.
"I'm okay, thanks for your concern," he flashed them a sly grin. "Now, did you really miss me?"
"Ohhh!!!!! He's soooo cute!!!!!!!!"
"We missed you Youji-kun!!!!!!"
"Youji-kun you're so kawai!!!!!!!"
He flashed them another smile and then headed towards the storage area of the shop more to do some inventory and to escape the fangirls. When he had his back turned to the girls, he sighed. His gaze strayed over to Aya who was still oblivious to everything and everyone, concentrating totally over the arrangement.
I would give anything in the world just to be right next to him, he thought.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Aya entered the storage room to deposit some of their deliveries that had just arrived. He carried a few pots and heaved a bag of fertilizer inside. Youji who was still doing the inventory looked towards him and hurried over to grab the heavy bag of fertilizer. He settled the bag into one corner and Aya placed the pots into one of the shelves. He paused to catch his breath then started towards the door.
"Aya, wait."
Aya turned around and faced Youji.
"I have to tell you something," Youji started.
"So say it. I'm busy." Aya snapped. Hurt flashed in Youji's eyes and he flinched slightly at Aya's tone of voice. Aya recoiled slightly and continued in a gentler tone.
"What is it?" he inquired.
"I just wanted to thank you," Youji mumbled, head down.
"For what?" Aya asked, confused.
"For saving my life."
"But, I..." Aya abruptly stopped when Youji looked up and gazed directly at him.
"Thank you, aya." he whispered quietly, then he exited the room leaving Aya standing there, speechless.
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"How long have you been watching me?" Aya sat up abruptly and turned towards his bedside clock. It read 2:30. Youji was silhouetted at the doorway of his bedroom.
"How long have you been watching me?" he repeated the question sharply. He reached for the lamp next to his bed. He was just about to turn it on when he heard Youji's softly spoken command.
"Don't." he said. Aya's hand dropped obediently. Youji entered the dark room and slowly walked towards the chair bathed in moonlight and shadows. He sat down and leaned back, then turned to face the bed where Aya lay. For a few minutes, they stayed that way then Youji broke the silence.
"De ja vu, isn't it, Aya?" he laughed softly and settled back into the chair. Even thought it was dark and moonlight served as the only illumination in the room, Aya swore he could see the jade eyes staring right at him.
"You remember the first time I was here?" Youji asked quietly. "Those were the exact same words you said to me and this is the exact same place I sat on. Do you remember?"
Aya nodded, unable to speak, fearing that his own voice would betray his emotions. Youji remained pensive for a few more minutes then said,
"The only difference is, I'm here without the same exact reason." he finished quietly. Aya saw Youji's head slump down and he buried it in his hands.
"What do you want this time?" he asked. Youji gazed back at him. Aya was startled by the sheer luminosity of his eyes but then when he squinted and looked at it carefully, he found that those same eyes were brimming with unshed tears.
"The first time I was here," Youji paused and took a deep breath. "It was to tell you that I'll fight for you." he looked at Aya, searching his face. What he saw startled him. A tear was falling slowly from Aya's eye. he took another deep breath, sttod up and looked out the window, turning his back towards Aya, silently willing himself to find the strength to pull through say what he had to say. He gazed out the window and stared at the moon. Sometimes, the moon reminded him of Aya, the unearthly light, the ethereal glow and the sheer beauty seemed so similar to what Aya was. And so was its unreachability. He sighed softly and then continued.
"I promised you that Aya, I promised you that i would never let go," he gulped and wiped his tears. "But you know what?"
"What?" Aya asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
"I learned that I had already lost Aya," he turned to face the redhead, tears falling unashembedly from his face. Silently he added the words that made Aya choke back a sob. "I lost before the fight even began."
Aya remained rooted to the spot. He barely moved. He was shocked by the sheer enormity of pain he had caused Youji. he saw it now, in the blonde's eyes. He could feel it, feel it with every word Youji uttered. He had never hated himself more.
Youji stared at him and then went back to the chair, falling down. He seemed exhausted by the effort it took to willingly give Aya up, to willingly give up what he felt.
"I wanted to believe that it might have worked, aya. I thought that I was doing my best, everyone else thought so. I proved to Ken, to Omi, to those bastards who kidnapped me just how much I love you, so much that I was willing to die for you," he paused, unable to stop choking because of his tears and the pain. "But the thing is, i failed to prove it to you..." He buried his head once more into his hands.
Aya gripped his pillow in a deathgrip, hating himself even more by the second. Each and every word Youji said stung but deep down he knew that it was true. Tears were already flowing freely down his cheeks.
"I thought that maybe if I tried hard enough you just might feel it, see how much I loved you, hear me each and every time I told. i told myself that if I kept at it, you'll hear it soon enough but then I realized that no matter how hard I tried, it would never work. You know why?" Slowly he looked at Aya, looked into his eyes. "Because you weren't even listening," he whispered softly.
For a while Youji just sat there, letting the tears fall freely. Then he wiped his cheeks and started to stand when he saw Aya right in front of him, moonlight illuminating his face, his eyes gleaming with shed and unshed tears. Slowly, as if in a trance, Youji wiped away Aya's tears. He stood up and was just about to walk away when he felt a hand grip his arm. He stopped in his tracks and slowly turned towards Aya. He saw the pain and guilt laced in Aya's features.
"Please Aya, I'm not doing this to make you guilty, I just wanted you to know..."
"Youji," Aya interrupted him. Youji stopped in midsentence and gazed at the wide amethyst eyes.
"You know why I never told you? Do you know why I kept it all inside?" Aya asked softly. Youji shook his head.
"Because I was a coward, Youji. I was afraid that if I allowed you to enter my life, I'll never be able to let you go. I was afraid you would leave me just like everybody else. I didn't want to feel that kind of pain again. I thought that maybe if I drove you away, it would make it all the more easier. But it didn't. It was hard for me too, Youji." Aya paused to catch his breath. "I didn't want you to be with me because I knew that I don't deserve you. You don't deserve someone as tainted and as sinful as me, Youji. You don't need me to complicate your life more. I kept all of those things inside my head, I didn't want to be hurt again, Youji. I was afraid that you would leave me." aya gazed into Youji's eyes and brought his hand up to Youji's cheek. he lightly brushed his hand across Youji's cheekbone and pushed back a stray lock of hair. "I was listening Youji, I was always listening but I forbid myself to understand. I listened to the other voice inside me saying that I don't deserve you because you know what? You don't deserve a coward Youji."
Slowly, Aya inched his face closer to Youji's. His lips grazed youji's and he spoke.
"But you know what? I also realized something. I realized that no matter what I do, I was still in love with you."
Amethyst eyes met jade ones. Youji gasped and Aya pressed his mouth to his for a brief kiss, then Aya pulled back and his lips went next to Youji's ear. Youji could hear Aya's breathing and the words that came next stunned him.
"I realized another thing Youji. I realized that I'm not afariad anymore." Aya pressed a kiss to his forehead and then rested his head on Youji's chest, right above his heart. Aya spoke up.
"This is also something different from before, Youji. Last time, you did this, now it was my turn. Last time, we both failed in our own ways, whis time, we succeeded." then Youji brought Aya's head to face his.
"Do you love me, Aya?" he asked, an inscrutable look on his face.
"Aishiteru, Youji." Aya said, never breaking thier gaze.
'Then that's enough," he leaned down and kissed Aya. His hands encircled Aya's waist and Aya's hands went to reach behind his neck to twine the fingers in his hair. Youji pulled back and quietly whispered,
"You don't have to be scared anymore." then he leaned back down for another kiss, much more passionate and urgent than before. His tongue pushed against Aya's lips and Aya's mouth opened willingly. He probed inside Aya's mouth, tasting the sweetness he found there. Aya mound into his mouth and he savored the sound. He pulled back slightly, enough to say what he wanted to the redhead. He stopped to catch his breath and leaned his forehead against Aya's.
"I love you, Aya." Youji whispered softly.
"Ran, call me Ran." Aya said.
"I love you, Ran."
"I love you too, Youji." Aya leaned forward and kissed him softly on the mouth, sliding his hands down Youji's arms and twining the blonde's hands with his own. They broke the kiss and gazed into each other's eyes. Youji brought up Aya's left hand and pressed a kiss onto each finger, then he turned it over and kissed his palm. Youji ran a finger over Aya's pulse and fealt the steady rythim that mimicked the beat of aya's heart. He let go of Aya's other hand and placed it softly on the small of aya's back. He captured Aya's lips on his own and slipped his hand under the Aya's shirt to caress his back. Slowly, he slid his hasnd upward, finally taking the shirt of Aya's form. He let go of Aya's other hand and placed both of his hands on Aya's hair. He pulled back and stared at Aya, bathed in moonlight. Every inch of Aya's pale alabaster skin glowed. he brought one hand down to caress Aya's face. He ran his fingers over his eyes, his cheek and his lips.
"I'll never leave you, Ran. never." he vowed then he kissed Aya again and his eyes fluttered close. They made their way towards Aya's bed and tumbled down, never breaking the kiss. Aya felt Youji's hands move toward his chest and felt him swiping his fingers over his nipples, pinching them and turning them into hardened nubs. He moaned youji's name and slid his hand under the blonde's shirt slowly taking it off. They broke apart to allow the shirt to be removed.
Youji kissed Aya's parted mouth softly. He kissed his cheek and then moved slowly down towards his neck, nibbling at the ivory column and paying special attention to the sensitive spot at the collarbone. Aya moaned with pleasure and entangled his hands on youji's hair, lightly running his hands over Youji's back, making the blonde's skin tingle.
Youji tugged on Aya's pants, letting it fall down the side of the bed. He palced his palm on Aya's hardness. He heard a stiffled moan of pleasure and found himself addicted to it. He quickly discarded his own pants and grabbed the botttle of lotion he saw on Aya's nightsatnad. It would have to do. He started preparing Aya and then positioned himself to enter the panting redhead. He brushed back matted strands of crimson hair and pressed a kiss to Aya's lips then in one swift thrust he was in.
Aya felt like he was going to faint from the pleasure of Youji's touch and when Youji entered him, they became one. Youji fit so perfectly inside him and when he strated to move, he kept hitting the spot that made Aya dizzy with ecstacy and pleasure. He felt a hand stroke his neglected length and suddenly it all became too much for him. He exploded in a fit of pleasure. he felt Youji come after him and they both fell down the bed, exhausted, with youji's arms around Aya, cradling him. Aya closed his eyes, fearing that he might wake up and discover that it was all a dream. When he opened them again, he saw Youji's eyes gazing silently at him. he brought his hand up and caressed Youji's face.
"Can I keep you?" he whispered quietly.
"I'll always be here, Ran. Don't be scared anymore."
"Yes, Youji. I'm not scared anymore."
OWARI
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AN: What do you think about it? Please let me know by reviewing the fic or emailing me! Thanx! I'm sorry bout the lemon part!!! I don't really like writing stuff like that cause it doesn't always end up the way I want it too!!! Really sorry bout that!!! And regarding bout a review, sorry if the lemon part came too soon!!! The reason is because they were already harboring feelings for each other, even before they admitted it so when it finally became apparent to both of them, they just kind of went for it!!! I'm sorry but I really do suck when it comes to writing lemons!!! Please review the fic!!
Chapter Five
Disclaimer: don't own Weiss...
Notes: You do know why this fic is in the R section, right? There's a bit of lemon here, near the end so to those who don't lemons, sorry!!! But it's not really that long (I think!). This is the last chapter, hoped you liked the fic! Oh yeah, to answer your question Ewen, no, they didn't rape Youji! _ So that's about it!! Thanks! d;-)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Youji woke up to the feeling that someone was watching over him. He opened up bleary eyes and looked around the room. His gaze immediately fell on a sleeping redhead sitting on a chair by his bed. Then his eyes traveled down to his hand which was clutched in one of Aya's own. He looked up once again and drank in the beauty of the redhead.
Aya was truly beautiful. He looked especially ravishing when he was asleep. All the lines of tension melted from his face and a serene and calm expression took over his entire features.
Youji slowly sat up, careful not to wake the sleeping redhead. He ran his hand over the soft, ivory skin of one pale cheek. Surprisingly, Aya leaned into the touch. Aya really was different when he was asleep. It seemed like there were no pretensions, no hesitations, and no ice. It seemed like the icy facade melted and the real Aya has shone through.
Slowly, Youji leaned in and placed a soft kiss on Aya's temple. Aya's eyes fluttered open.
"You're awake?" Aya asked, rubbing his eyes to clear the sleep-induced haze. He blinked a few times.
"Yeah."
In an instant the mask came back on. Abruptly, Aya stood up almost knocking down the chair. He avoided Youji's eyes and turned towards the door.
"Aya, wait..."
"What?" came the slightly irritated tone of voice.
"Why?"
"Why what?" asked Aya in a slightly confused voice.
"Why were you here?" Youji muttered somewhat timidly. This time he was the one who averted his gaze. He felt rather than saw Aya tense up.
"Omi asked me to watch over you," he answered curtly. "Since there wasn't anybody left to take care of you, I conceded to the idea."
"Oh," Youji's disappointment could be heard, although he tried hard to hide it. He opened his bedside drawer and took out a pack of cigarettes. He was aware of Aya's disapproving gaze, but he badly needed something to calm himself down. He tapped one out and reached for the lighter. he fumbled to light the cigarette. He tried a few times then Aya spoke up.
'I'm going now. Shout if you need anything and don't smoke in the house." he headed towards the door and closed it behind his retreating back.
Youji tried a few more times to light his cigarette. Frustrated, he put down the unlighted cigarette and lighter on the table and slumped back into his b "He's driving me crazy..." he muttered into thin air.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Sooner than expected, Youji was up and about. He was back to working at the shop and the hordes of schoolgirls couldn't be any happier. The first time he arrived in the shop since his supposed 'accident', the girls could hardly keep their hands off him.
"He's back!!!!!!!!"
"Youji's back!!!!!"
"Youji-kun! You're back!"
"How are you feeling, Youji-kun?"
"We missed you youji-kun!"
"Youji-kun!!!"
"Youji-kun?"
"Youji-kun!!!!!!!!"
"Wha?! Oh, sorry," he shook his head. he hardly noticed the girls since he was too busy staring at Aya who was at one side of the shop, making an arrangement of roses.
"How have you been Youji-kun?" a girl asked, practically throwing herself in front of Youji. He flashed her a grin and resigned to flirting with the girls to keep his mind of Aya.
"I'm okay, thanks for your concern," he flashed them a sly grin. "Now, did you really miss me?"
"Ohhh!!!!! He's soooo cute!!!!!!!!"
"We missed you Youji-kun!!!!!!"
"Youji-kun you're so kawai!!!!!!!"
He flashed them another smile and then headed towards the storage area of the shop more to do some inventory and to escape the fangirls. When he had his back turned to the girls, he sighed. His gaze strayed over to Aya who was still oblivious to everything and everyone, concentrating totally over the arrangement.
I would give anything in the world just to be right next to him, he thought.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Aya entered the storage room to deposit some of their deliveries that had just arrived. He carried a few pots and heaved a bag of fertilizer inside. Youji who was still doing the inventory looked towards him and hurried over to grab the heavy bag of fertilizer. He settled the bag into one corner and Aya placed the pots into one of the shelves. He paused to catch his breath then started towards the door.
"Aya, wait."
Aya turned around and faced Youji.
"I have to tell you something," Youji started.
"So say it. I'm busy." Aya snapped. Hurt flashed in Youji's eyes and he flinched slightly at Aya's tone of voice. Aya recoiled slightly and continued in a gentler tone.
"What is it?" he inquired.
"I just wanted to thank you," Youji mumbled, head down.
"For what?" Aya asked, confused.
"For saving my life."
"But, I..." Aya abruptly stopped when Youji looked up and gazed directly at him.
"Thank you, aya." he whispered quietly, then he exited the room leaving Aya standing there, speechless.
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"How long have you been watching me?" Aya sat up abruptly and turned towards his bedside clock. It read 2:30. Youji was silhouetted at the doorway of his bedroom.
"How long have you been watching me?" he repeated the question sharply. He reached for the lamp next to his bed. He was just about to turn it on when he heard Youji's softly spoken command.
"Don't." he said. Aya's hand dropped obediently. Youji entered the dark room and slowly walked towards the chair bathed in moonlight and shadows. He sat down and leaned back, then turned to face the bed where Aya lay. For a few minutes, they stayed that way then Youji broke the silence.
"De ja vu, isn't it, Aya?" he laughed softly and settled back into the chair. Even thought it was dark and moonlight served as the only illumination in the room, Aya swore he could see the jade eyes staring right at him.
"You remember the first time I was here?" Youji asked quietly. "Those were the exact same words you said to me and this is the exact same place I sat on. Do you remember?"
Aya nodded, unable to speak, fearing that his own voice would betray his emotions. Youji remained pensive for a few more minutes then said,
"The only difference is, I'm here without the same exact reason." he finished quietly. Aya saw Youji's head slump down and he buried it in his hands.
"What do you want this time?" he asked. Youji gazed back at him. Aya was startled by the sheer luminosity of his eyes but then when he squinted and looked at it carefully, he found that those same eyes were brimming with unshed tears.
"The first time I was here," Youji paused and took a deep breath. "It was to tell you that I'll fight for you." he looked at Aya, searching his face. What he saw startled him. A tear was falling slowly from Aya's eye. he took another deep breath, sttod up and looked out the window, turning his back towards Aya, silently willing himself to find the strength to pull through say what he had to say. He gazed out the window and stared at the moon. Sometimes, the moon reminded him of Aya, the unearthly light, the ethereal glow and the sheer beauty seemed so similar to what Aya was. And so was its unreachability. He sighed softly and then continued.
"I promised you that Aya, I promised you that i would never let go," he gulped and wiped his tears. "But you know what?"
"What?" Aya asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
"I learned that I had already lost Aya," he turned to face the redhead, tears falling unashembedly from his face. Silently he added the words that made Aya choke back a sob. "I lost before the fight even began."
Aya remained rooted to the spot. He barely moved. He was shocked by the sheer enormity of pain he had caused Youji. he saw it now, in the blonde's eyes. He could feel it, feel it with every word Youji uttered. He had never hated himself more.
Youji stared at him and then went back to the chair, falling down. He seemed exhausted by the effort it took to willingly give Aya up, to willingly give up what he felt.
"I wanted to believe that it might have worked, aya. I thought that I was doing my best, everyone else thought so. I proved to Ken, to Omi, to those bastards who kidnapped me just how much I love you, so much that I was willing to die for you," he paused, unable to stop choking because of his tears and the pain. "But the thing is, i failed to prove it to you..." He buried his head once more into his hands.
Aya gripped his pillow in a deathgrip, hating himself even more by the second. Each and every word Youji said stung but deep down he knew that it was true. Tears were already flowing freely down his cheeks.
"I thought that maybe if I tried hard enough you just might feel it, see how much I loved you, hear me each and every time I told. i told myself that if I kept at it, you'll hear it soon enough but then I realized that no matter how hard I tried, it would never work. You know why?" Slowly he looked at Aya, looked into his eyes. "Because you weren't even listening," he whispered softly.
For a while Youji just sat there, letting the tears fall freely. Then he wiped his cheeks and started to stand when he saw Aya right in front of him, moonlight illuminating his face, his eyes gleaming with shed and unshed tears. Slowly, as if in a trance, Youji wiped away Aya's tears. He stood up and was just about to walk away when he felt a hand grip his arm. He stopped in his tracks and slowly turned towards Aya. He saw the pain and guilt laced in Aya's features.
"Please Aya, I'm not doing this to make you guilty, I just wanted you to know..."
"Youji," Aya interrupted him. Youji stopped in midsentence and gazed at the wide amethyst eyes.
"You know why I never told you? Do you know why I kept it all inside?" Aya asked softly. Youji shook his head.
"Because I was a coward, Youji. I was afraid that if I allowed you to enter my life, I'll never be able to let you go. I was afraid you would leave me just like everybody else. I didn't want to feel that kind of pain again. I thought that maybe if I drove you away, it would make it all the more easier. But it didn't. It was hard for me too, Youji." Aya paused to catch his breath. "I didn't want you to be with me because I knew that I don't deserve you. You don't deserve someone as tainted and as sinful as me, Youji. You don't need me to complicate your life more. I kept all of those things inside my head, I didn't want to be hurt again, Youji. I was afraid that you would leave me." aya gazed into Youji's eyes and brought his hand up to Youji's cheek. he lightly brushed his hand across Youji's cheekbone and pushed back a stray lock of hair. "I was listening Youji, I was always listening but I forbid myself to understand. I listened to the other voice inside me saying that I don't deserve you because you know what? You don't deserve a coward Youji."
Slowly, Aya inched his face closer to Youji's. His lips grazed youji's and he spoke.
"But you know what? I also realized something. I realized that no matter what I do, I was still in love with you."
Amethyst eyes met jade ones. Youji gasped and Aya pressed his mouth to his for a brief kiss, then Aya pulled back and his lips went next to Youji's ear. Youji could hear Aya's breathing and the words that came next stunned him.
"I realized another thing Youji. I realized that I'm not afariad anymore." Aya pressed a kiss to his forehead and then rested his head on Youji's chest, right above his heart. Aya spoke up.
"This is also something different from before, Youji. Last time, you did this, now it was my turn. Last time, we both failed in our own ways, whis time, we succeeded." then Youji brought Aya's head to face his.
"Do you love me, Aya?" he asked, an inscrutable look on his face.
"Aishiteru, Youji." Aya said, never breaking thier gaze.
'Then that's enough," he leaned down and kissed Aya. His hands encircled Aya's waist and Aya's hands went to reach behind his neck to twine the fingers in his hair. Youji pulled back and quietly whispered,
"You don't have to be scared anymore." then he leaned back down for another kiss, much more passionate and urgent than before. His tongue pushed against Aya's lips and Aya's mouth opened willingly. He probed inside Aya's mouth, tasting the sweetness he found there. Aya mound into his mouth and he savored the sound. He pulled back slightly, enough to say what he wanted to the redhead. He stopped to catch his breath and leaned his forehead against Aya's.
"I love you, Aya." Youji whispered softly.
"Ran, call me Ran." Aya said.
"I love you, Ran."
"I love you too, Youji." Aya leaned forward and kissed him softly on the mouth, sliding his hands down Youji's arms and twining the blonde's hands with his own. They broke the kiss and gazed into each other's eyes. Youji brought up Aya's left hand and pressed a kiss onto each finger, then he turned it over and kissed his palm. Youji ran a finger over Aya's pulse and fealt the steady rythim that mimicked the beat of aya's heart. He let go of Aya's other hand and placed it softly on the small of aya's back. He captured Aya's lips on his own and slipped his hand under the Aya's shirt to caress his back. Slowly, he slid his hasnd upward, finally taking the shirt of Aya's form. He let go of Aya's other hand and placed both of his hands on Aya's hair. He pulled back and stared at Aya, bathed in moonlight. Every inch of Aya's pale alabaster skin glowed. he brought one hand down to caress Aya's face. He ran his fingers over his eyes, his cheek and his lips.
"I'll never leave you, Ran. never." he vowed then he kissed Aya again and his eyes fluttered close. They made their way towards Aya's bed and tumbled down, never breaking the kiss. Aya felt Youji's hands move toward his chest and felt him swiping his fingers over his nipples, pinching them and turning them into hardened nubs. He moaned youji's name and slid his hand under the blonde's shirt slowly taking it off. They broke apart to allow the shirt to be removed.
Youji kissed Aya's parted mouth softly. He kissed his cheek and then moved slowly down towards his neck, nibbling at the ivory column and paying special attention to the sensitive spot at the collarbone. Aya moaned with pleasure and entangled his hands on youji's hair, lightly running his hands over Youji's back, making the blonde's skin tingle.
Youji tugged on Aya's pants, letting it fall down the side of the bed. He palced his palm on Aya's hardness. He heard a stiffled moan of pleasure and found himself addicted to it. He quickly discarded his own pants and grabbed the botttle of lotion he saw on Aya's nightsatnad. It would have to do. He started preparing Aya and then positioned himself to enter the panting redhead. He brushed back matted strands of crimson hair and pressed a kiss to Aya's lips then in one swift thrust he was in.
Aya felt like he was going to faint from the pleasure of Youji's touch and when Youji entered him, they became one. Youji fit so perfectly inside him and when he strated to move, he kept hitting the spot that made Aya dizzy with ecstacy and pleasure. He felt a hand stroke his neglected length and suddenly it all became too much for him. He exploded in a fit of pleasure. he felt Youji come after him and they both fell down the bed, exhausted, with youji's arms around Aya, cradling him. Aya closed his eyes, fearing that he might wake up and discover that it was all a dream. When he opened them again, he saw Youji's eyes gazing silently at him. he brought his hand up and caressed Youji's face.
"Can I keep you?" he whispered quietly.
"I'll always be here, Ran. Don't be scared anymore."
"Yes, Youji. I'm not scared anymore."
OWARI
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AN: What do you think about it? Please let me know by reviewing the fic or emailing me! Thanx! I'm sorry bout the lemon part!!! I don't really like writing stuff like that cause it doesn't always end up the way I want it too!!! Really sorry bout that!!! And regarding bout a review, sorry if the lemon part came too soon!!! The reason is because they were already harboring feelings for each other, even before they admitted it so when it finally became apparent to both of them, they just kind of went for it!!! I'm sorry but I really do suck when it comes to writing lemons!!! Please review the fic!!