If These Walls Could Talk
Chapter 13/?
A 7th Heaven Fan Fic by Lucky Star and Jordan
Victoria
The bus station is crowded, mostly with men in ragged clothing. They sit inside and outside smoking, some getting on buses as they come through, others waiting. I don't go inside, but stay around the corner in an alley. But I have to get up my nerve. I have to go in there and buy a ticket for the next bus out of this town, no matter where it goes. There will be time to plan all of that later.
I start to move forward, but something holds me back. My phone is in my bag, small yet heavy with the weight of what I need to do. I pull it out and dial his number.
It rings twice before someone answers. "Simon?"
"Victoria? This is his dad. I'll get him for you."
"Thank you."
"Tory?"
"Simon." I can't keep the strength in my voice and it comes out a ragged whisper.
"Tory? Where are you? What's wrong?"
I can't tell him the truth. "I don't know. Somewhere in the city."
"In the city? Why?"
I can get no words out.
"What happened?"
"I...I can't tell you."
"Tory...What is it? Is it your parents? Did they...did they kick you out?"
I shake my head, forgetting he can't see me. "I can't tell you. I'm sorry. I just...I wanted you to know I'm okay."
"Where are you? Let me come get you." His voice rises a bit in desperation.
"No! No, Simon, you can't. Please...I'm sorry, I have to go."
"Tory! Tory, don't hang up! I won't ask what happened. I swear. I won't ask. Just...let me come get you. You shouldn't be out there alone. Please. Let me."
My eyes burn. "No, Simon. You can't come get me. I can't go back with you. But I promise...I won't cut myself. I'm not going to. I promised."
"Tory, you know I won't give up until I find you. Please tell me where you are. I'll bring you some clothes and some money and stuff. I won't make you come back. I won't. I swear."
"Right, Simon. I really believe that. Like you're just going to see me and walk away."
"I didn't say that. You know I could never walk away."
"Then what are you going to do? Stay with me? Leave your family and stay with me?"
"Yes. If I have to. I have a great family but I'm willing to give them up for you. If that's what I have to do. I love you. Maybe you're not ready to hear that, but I do. I love you. And I would rather be with you wherever you are, than here with them."
I almost drop the phone, squeezing my eyes shut. "Oh Simon, don't say that."
"But it's true. Please tell me where you are so I can help you." When I say nothing, he continues. "Please, Tory. Don't make me call Kevin. I don't want to do that. But I will. I'll ask Kevin to help me."
"No!"
"Then tell me where you are."
"I don't know, Simon. I didn't pay attention."
"Are you near the bus station? I hear the traffic on the street. It sounds like buses."
Oh damn it. My voice is small. "Yes."
"Wait for me. Please. Don't get on one of the buses. Wait for me. I swear to you I won't call Kevin. I won't tell anyone. I'll be there in ten minutes. Wait for me, Tory."
I watch a bus go by, so it's a moment before I answer. "Okay, Simon."
"I won't be long."
"I know." I hang up the phone before he can say anything else. I try to tell myself that I don't want him here, that I don't want him to see me and I don't want to tell him what happened. I can't tell him. He can never know. But still, didn't a part of me know he'd insist on coming here, and also that I wouldn't be able to resist letting him? I should buy a ticket now and be gone by the time he gets here. But I can't do that, not to Simon. I cry out softly in frustration, and my thoughts snarl together like a ball of yarn; I can't keep them straight anymore. I think about the knife in my bag; I would never forget my beloved knife.
I cry out again. I want to scream. Damn promises! What good are they? Would Simon make me keep it if he knew what it was doing to me?
Before I am aware of it my fingernails are tearing into the soft flesh beneath one wrist, first one arm then the other. The pain is exquisite, but not enough. Harder and harder I rip until the blood runs freely, until I am on my knees unable to stop.
***
Simon
My hand shook as I hung up the phone, and tears were on my cheeks. I couldn't wrap my brain around what was happening, couldn't imagine what would make Victoria so upset, and be bad enough for her to run away from home. She said her parents didn't kick her out, but what? I remembered Mrs. Hennessy's distance when I'd tried to see Victoria after the rape and I knew it must have something to do with that. For about the millionth time I wished I could tell someone, or go to Gene Blackwood's house and kick his ass myself.
Why, God? Why Victoria? She doesn't deserve this. No one does.
I grabbed my wallet and poked my head out into the hallway. Mom was in the bathroom giving the twins a bath, Ruthie was in her room doing homework like I was supposed to be doing, and Dad was in his room working on his sermon for the next Sunday. A perfect opportunity to escape unnoticed.
I couldn't believe I was doing this as I picked up Mom's keys from the kitchen counter and went outside, got in her car, then realized they'd hear the engine. I put it in neutral and let it roll slowly backwards down the driveway until it reached the street. Praying that they'd think it was a neighbor's car starting, I turned it on and left, trying not to drive to fast but at the same time wishing with all my heart that I could speed.
You're in this too deep, Camden. You're being stupid. It's too much for you to handle alone.
But I have to handle it alone. I promised Tory.
The bus station was only ten minutes away, but it felt like forever. When I pulled into the parking lot I knew I wouldn't see her there, somehow knew she wouldn't be standing out in the bright lights waiting for me. My heart jumped in panic. What if she'd already taken a bus and wasn't there anymore?
I turned off the car and got out, heading away from the bus station. There was a small alley around the corner, and when I stepped into it I saw a foot sticking out from behind a pile of bags. I nearly collapsed on the spot.
"Tory."
She sat with her back against the wall, arms limp by her sides. Alive. Thank God she was alive.
"Tory, it's me. I'm here."
She looked up at me without a trace of comprehension on her face, and her pupils were so large that her eyes looked black. I knelt before her and placed my hands on her shoulders, knowing she was in shock. And then I saw her arms. They were covered in blood, so thickly that I couldn't see the wounds. "Tory! Tory!"
She blinked and some focus came back into her eyes. "Simon?"
I smiled through my tears. "Yeah, it's me."
"Simon." Her voice was a whisper, and she closed her eyes. I put my arms around her and held her close as she began to shiver.
"Tory, honey. I've got to get you out of here. Come on. Can you stand? Can you walk?"
She pushed me away. "I'm not going with you."
"You're covered with blood. Your arms. We've got to get you to a hospital."
She looked down as if she didn't know what I was talking about. When she lifted her head again tears stood in her eyes. "I didn't cut, Simon. I promised I wouldn't. They're only scratches."
"I know. I know you promised, baby." I kissed her forehead, pressing my lips there longer than normal, paralyzed by a sudden wave of emotion. But I had to get a grip; I had to be strong for her. I was the only one she had in the world.
"I was going to buy a bus ticket."
"Okay. We'll take care of your arms later. I'm going with you."
"You can't."
"Yes I can. I can't let you go alone. Tory, please. I'm going with you. I don't care where we go. I only want to be with you."
She stared into my face. "We have to go now."
I nodded and helped her to her feet, steadying her as she clutched my arm; I could tell she was exhausted and every line of her body was tense. Even though I longed to ask her what had happened, what was wrong, I knew I shouldn't.
"Here, take this." I pulled off my jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders, then picked up her bag. "Where do you want to go?"
"I don't know. The next bus out of here. Far away."
"Let's go inside and see what we can find."
I lead her along, my mind screaming at me to take her to the hospital, take her to my house. When we pass the pay phones along the wall I realize I've forgotten my cell phone. At the ticket window I study the destinations and fares, calculating it in my mind.
"The next bus leaves in fifteen minutes. It's going to Monterey and will be about $75 for the two of us. How much money do you have?" I ask her.
"Fifty dollars."
"Okay. I have forty. We've got enough." But what after that? What about a place to stay and food? Why didn't I snag Mom's credit card or something along with her keys? She'd understand later when I explained everything to her, because I was going to explain everything to her someday. And I was going to get Victoria back home too. Yet now was not the time to try and force her. I had to wait until she had calmed down and rested, gotten some sleep and at least one good meal. Maybe then she'd be ready to tell me. Maybe then she'd see there was no way we'd make it out there without any money, and that she had to let someone besides me help her.
After he sold us the tickets, the ticket man watched us, but I didn't care. I guided Victoria to a bench. As soon as we sat down she rested her head against my shoulder, but she stayed alert and wary now, and I know she watched the clock like I did.
Chapter 13/?
A 7th Heaven Fan Fic by Lucky Star and Jordan
Victoria
The bus station is crowded, mostly with men in ragged clothing. They sit inside and outside smoking, some getting on buses as they come through, others waiting. I don't go inside, but stay around the corner in an alley. But I have to get up my nerve. I have to go in there and buy a ticket for the next bus out of this town, no matter where it goes. There will be time to plan all of that later.
I start to move forward, but something holds me back. My phone is in my bag, small yet heavy with the weight of what I need to do. I pull it out and dial his number.
It rings twice before someone answers. "Simon?"
"Victoria? This is his dad. I'll get him for you."
"Thank you."
"Tory?"
"Simon." I can't keep the strength in my voice and it comes out a ragged whisper.
"Tory? Where are you? What's wrong?"
I can't tell him the truth. "I don't know. Somewhere in the city."
"In the city? Why?"
I can get no words out.
"What happened?"
"I...I can't tell you."
"Tory...What is it? Is it your parents? Did they...did they kick you out?"
I shake my head, forgetting he can't see me. "I can't tell you. I'm sorry. I just...I wanted you to know I'm okay."
"Where are you? Let me come get you." His voice rises a bit in desperation.
"No! No, Simon, you can't. Please...I'm sorry, I have to go."
"Tory! Tory, don't hang up! I won't ask what happened. I swear. I won't ask. Just...let me come get you. You shouldn't be out there alone. Please. Let me."
My eyes burn. "No, Simon. You can't come get me. I can't go back with you. But I promise...I won't cut myself. I'm not going to. I promised."
"Tory, you know I won't give up until I find you. Please tell me where you are. I'll bring you some clothes and some money and stuff. I won't make you come back. I won't. I swear."
"Right, Simon. I really believe that. Like you're just going to see me and walk away."
"I didn't say that. You know I could never walk away."
"Then what are you going to do? Stay with me? Leave your family and stay with me?"
"Yes. If I have to. I have a great family but I'm willing to give them up for you. If that's what I have to do. I love you. Maybe you're not ready to hear that, but I do. I love you. And I would rather be with you wherever you are, than here with them."
I almost drop the phone, squeezing my eyes shut. "Oh Simon, don't say that."
"But it's true. Please tell me where you are so I can help you." When I say nothing, he continues. "Please, Tory. Don't make me call Kevin. I don't want to do that. But I will. I'll ask Kevin to help me."
"No!"
"Then tell me where you are."
"I don't know, Simon. I didn't pay attention."
"Are you near the bus station? I hear the traffic on the street. It sounds like buses."
Oh damn it. My voice is small. "Yes."
"Wait for me. Please. Don't get on one of the buses. Wait for me. I swear to you I won't call Kevin. I won't tell anyone. I'll be there in ten minutes. Wait for me, Tory."
I watch a bus go by, so it's a moment before I answer. "Okay, Simon."
"I won't be long."
"I know." I hang up the phone before he can say anything else. I try to tell myself that I don't want him here, that I don't want him to see me and I don't want to tell him what happened. I can't tell him. He can never know. But still, didn't a part of me know he'd insist on coming here, and also that I wouldn't be able to resist letting him? I should buy a ticket now and be gone by the time he gets here. But I can't do that, not to Simon. I cry out softly in frustration, and my thoughts snarl together like a ball of yarn; I can't keep them straight anymore. I think about the knife in my bag; I would never forget my beloved knife.
I cry out again. I want to scream. Damn promises! What good are they? Would Simon make me keep it if he knew what it was doing to me?
Before I am aware of it my fingernails are tearing into the soft flesh beneath one wrist, first one arm then the other. The pain is exquisite, but not enough. Harder and harder I rip until the blood runs freely, until I am on my knees unable to stop.
***
Simon
My hand shook as I hung up the phone, and tears were on my cheeks. I couldn't wrap my brain around what was happening, couldn't imagine what would make Victoria so upset, and be bad enough for her to run away from home. She said her parents didn't kick her out, but what? I remembered Mrs. Hennessy's distance when I'd tried to see Victoria after the rape and I knew it must have something to do with that. For about the millionth time I wished I could tell someone, or go to Gene Blackwood's house and kick his ass myself.
Why, God? Why Victoria? She doesn't deserve this. No one does.
I grabbed my wallet and poked my head out into the hallway. Mom was in the bathroom giving the twins a bath, Ruthie was in her room doing homework like I was supposed to be doing, and Dad was in his room working on his sermon for the next Sunday. A perfect opportunity to escape unnoticed.
I couldn't believe I was doing this as I picked up Mom's keys from the kitchen counter and went outside, got in her car, then realized they'd hear the engine. I put it in neutral and let it roll slowly backwards down the driveway until it reached the street. Praying that they'd think it was a neighbor's car starting, I turned it on and left, trying not to drive to fast but at the same time wishing with all my heart that I could speed.
You're in this too deep, Camden. You're being stupid. It's too much for you to handle alone.
But I have to handle it alone. I promised Tory.
The bus station was only ten minutes away, but it felt like forever. When I pulled into the parking lot I knew I wouldn't see her there, somehow knew she wouldn't be standing out in the bright lights waiting for me. My heart jumped in panic. What if she'd already taken a bus and wasn't there anymore?
I turned off the car and got out, heading away from the bus station. There was a small alley around the corner, and when I stepped into it I saw a foot sticking out from behind a pile of bags. I nearly collapsed on the spot.
"Tory."
She sat with her back against the wall, arms limp by her sides. Alive. Thank God she was alive.
"Tory, it's me. I'm here."
She looked up at me without a trace of comprehension on her face, and her pupils were so large that her eyes looked black. I knelt before her and placed my hands on her shoulders, knowing she was in shock. And then I saw her arms. They were covered in blood, so thickly that I couldn't see the wounds. "Tory! Tory!"
She blinked and some focus came back into her eyes. "Simon?"
I smiled through my tears. "Yeah, it's me."
"Simon." Her voice was a whisper, and she closed her eyes. I put my arms around her and held her close as she began to shiver.
"Tory, honey. I've got to get you out of here. Come on. Can you stand? Can you walk?"
She pushed me away. "I'm not going with you."
"You're covered with blood. Your arms. We've got to get you to a hospital."
She looked down as if she didn't know what I was talking about. When she lifted her head again tears stood in her eyes. "I didn't cut, Simon. I promised I wouldn't. They're only scratches."
"I know. I know you promised, baby." I kissed her forehead, pressing my lips there longer than normal, paralyzed by a sudden wave of emotion. But I had to get a grip; I had to be strong for her. I was the only one she had in the world.
"I was going to buy a bus ticket."
"Okay. We'll take care of your arms later. I'm going with you."
"You can't."
"Yes I can. I can't let you go alone. Tory, please. I'm going with you. I don't care where we go. I only want to be with you."
She stared into my face. "We have to go now."
I nodded and helped her to her feet, steadying her as she clutched my arm; I could tell she was exhausted and every line of her body was tense. Even though I longed to ask her what had happened, what was wrong, I knew I shouldn't.
"Here, take this." I pulled off my jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders, then picked up her bag. "Where do you want to go?"
"I don't know. The next bus out of here. Far away."
"Let's go inside and see what we can find."
I lead her along, my mind screaming at me to take her to the hospital, take her to my house. When we pass the pay phones along the wall I realize I've forgotten my cell phone. At the ticket window I study the destinations and fares, calculating it in my mind.
"The next bus leaves in fifteen minutes. It's going to Monterey and will be about $75 for the two of us. How much money do you have?" I ask her.
"Fifty dollars."
"Okay. I have forty. We've got enough." But what after that? What about a place to stay and food? Why didn't I snag Mom's credit card or something along with her keys? She'd understand later when I explained everything to her, because I was going to explain everything to her someday. And I was going to get Victoria back home too. Yet now was not the time to try and force her. I had to wait until she had calmed down and rested, gotten some sleep and at least one good meal. Maybe then she'd be ready to tell me. Maybe then she'd see there was no way we'd make it out there without any money, and that she had to let someone besides me help her.
After he sold us the tickets, the ticket man watched us, but I didn't care. I guided Victoria to a bench. As soon as we sat down she rested her head against my shoulder, but she stayed alert and wary now, and I know she watched the clock like I did.