Chapter 14: Q & A
Back at the house a bit of a hoopla had been raised. First with Spike's all too common these days dramatic exit, then once again with Buffy storming first out, then in, then out again. It was all Faith could due to contain her laugh, *Barrel of monkey's B.*
Willow had taken the secondary slayer into the dining room which was serving as their official research sanctum and had began to show her what they had learned about the First and their ideas when the circus began. The potentials for their part looked like what they were. A bunch of teenage girls all too interested in the strange soap opera that was Buffy and her vampire. All they needed was a tub-o-popcorn and some M&M's to complete the event. This was simply the most entertaining thing they had done in weeks. Which, of course, wasn't saying much.
Spike's outburst in the backyard did not go unheard by the large conglomerate in the Kitchen, or Faith and Willow for that matter. They all stood their unable to avoid eavesdropping, their little party only broken up when Buffy came rushing back inside.
Faith was the first to speak up.
"So, B's still banging the undead, huh? Girls got moxy, I'll tell you that much." She smiled her smile at Willow, receiving a concerned looking disapproving glance back before the redhead decided to go after her friend, only to find that she was flying back out the front door. *Oh, god Wills, way to muss things up,* the witch couldn't help but scold herself.
"Well Willow, you've been holding out on me. Filling my head with all the boring details of the Big Bad when what you should have been giving me the lowdown on this juicy stuff." Faith glanced to thin figure before her. Nodding towards the dining room she continued, "Come on and fill me in, won't help matters if I end up caught in some lover's quarrel without knowing which way to punch." She received a blink in response as they both headed to the other room, leaving the remaining potentials to drift off on their own and weave their own private thoughts.
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Buffy was stopped in her frantic search for the two vamps when she got a footballs length away from the cemetery the little confrontation had just taken place in and spied Angel, alone.
"What happened?! What did you do, Angel, you better tell me what. . ." Her enraged outburst was cut short by Angels response.
"Don't worry, he isn't dust if that's what you're worried about. In fact he's in just about the same condition he was when you last saw him." He looked dazed, his voice a monotone in the darkness as he came towards her, stopping about twenty feet away, waiting.
She seemed calmer having received this little bit of good news, although she supposed she should be angry that he said Spike was only in almost the same condition, but she let the matter die, only concerned now with what had taken place. Angel seeming to sense the conflicting questions on her face simply shrugged and answered her anyways.
"You were right. He does have a soul." He shook his head holding his hands out palms upward in a silent plea of understanding before letting them drop to his side. "What happened, Buffy? I mean this just isn't. . .he just isn't. . .This didn't happen over night. How long ago. . ."
"You mean when did he get the soul?"
Angel nodded, "Well, that too, but," he sighed then, unsure of so much at that point that he needed to reconfirm the simple fact that he didn't need to breath. "How long has he been here, helping you? I somehow doubt he just showed up when he heard what was going on here, self-sacrifice for the world never seemed to be on his list of must-do's."
She almost smiled, "you'd be surprised."
"I'll bet. . ."
Crickets could be heard at that moment, the silence hanging so thickly in the air.
"After you left."
"What?"
It was Buffy's turn to sigh, not sure how she could explain any of this, least of all to Angel. "He came back, not long after you left. He was mostly just around to annoy us back then, but. . .not so much anymore."
"Because he changed?"
"Yes, no, I don't know." She shrugged moving over towards the cemetery gates, sliding down to the ground, her legs suddenly unwilling to offer her support any longer. "At first I didn't know what to think. He was this monster who tried to kill me and my friends more then once, but, but at the same time he wasn't. Not really. He had his chances, if he had wanted to kill us, me, he could have." She met his gaze now hearing the truth in her own words, "He was different to begin with, it was circumstances that changed. Not him."
Angel sat on the ground by the other gate, still keeping his distance from her, not really wanting to believe what she had said. "And the soul?"
Her voice was tiny this time as she pushed a bit of dirt around with her shoe, watching it swirl around intently, "For me. Last May." She swallowed hard, refusing to look up. "A lot of things happened after, after I came back. It all culminating with Willow nearly destroying the world, Xander stopping her with a yellow crayon, and Spike fighting to get, and winning, his soul. . .all and all it was pretty busy around here." She shrugged it off as if it was just another day on the Hellmouth.
*Yellow crayon? He'd have to ask about that one later.* Angel had a sinking feeling in his stomach. How hard had he himself fought to avoid getting his soul back? What lengths had his demon gone to in order to prevent it from happening? Knowing this, how could he possibly expect to believe, or even understand, why Spike, a demon, would actively go out and fight for his soul? Nothing on this plane of existence could have made Angel do the same. Not even her. . .what could that possibly mean?
"Why did he do it? I know you say it was for you, but what possible reason could he have had?" The confusion he felt was clearly etched on his face.
Buffy's lower lip trembled slightly, her eyes closing for a moment, her heart hurting from all that had happened. She knew what had triggered the decision for Spike, but she also knew that it wasn't that event itself. It was her. It was everything she had ever said, every punch she had ever thrown, and every hurtful thing she ever did. All of it. All of it had caused him to decide that that was the course of action he needed to take. And why? *To be hers* because. . . "He loves me."
And despite every ounce of his demon saying that it wasn't possible. That he couldn't have loved her before he had a soul, he knew it was true. His own soul swore it. Swore that it was self-centered to think that just because he was a cruel, heartless, evil monster, incapable of love without one didn't meant that every other demon was to. He felt his heart tear at the realization of it all, everything Spike said suddenly making a very clear sorta sense. His response was the kind of simple one that would made Spike laugh, if he was around to hear it:
"Oh."
And all Buffy could think was: *Yeah, oh. . .*
Back at the house a bit of a hoopla had been raised. First with Spike's all too common these days dramatic exit, then once again with Buffy storming first out, then in, then out again. It was all Faith could due to contain her laugh, *Barrel of monkey's B.*
Willow had taken the secondary slayer into the dining room which was serving as their official research sanctum and had began to show her what they had learned about the First and their ideas when the circus began. The potentials for their part looked like what they were. A bunch of teenage girls all too interested in the strange soap opera that was Buffy and her vampire. All they needed was a tub-o-popcorn and some M&M's to complete the event. This was simply the most entertaining thing they had done in weeks. Which, of course, wasn't saying much.
Spike's outburst in the backyard did not go unheard by the large conglomerate in the Kitchen, or Faith and Willow for that matter. They all stood their unable to avoid eavesdropping, their little party only broken up when Buffy came rushing back inside.
Faith was the first to speak up.
"So, B's still banging the undead, huh? Girls got moxy, I'll tell you that much." She smiled her smile at Willow, receiving a concerned looking disapproving glance back before the redhead decided to go after her friend, only to find that she was flying back out the front door. *Oh, god Wills, way to muss things up,* the witch couldn't help but scold herself.
"Well Willow, you've been holding out on me. Filling my head with all the boring details of the Big Bad when what you should have been giving me the lowdown on this juicy stuff." Faith glanced to thin figure before her. Nodding towards the dining room she continued, "Come on and fill me in, won't help matters if I end up caught in some lover's quarrel without knowing which way to punch." She received a blink in response as they both headed to the other room, leaving the remaining potentials to drift off on their own and weave their own private thoughts.
--------------- ------------------------------------------------------------ ----------------------------
Buffy was stopped in her frantic search for the two vamps when she got a footballs length away from the cemetery the little confrontation had just taken place in and spied Angel, alone.
"What happened?! What did you do, Angel, you better tell me what. . ." Her enraged outburst was cut short by Angels response.
"Don't worry, he isn't dust if that's what you're worried about. In fact he's in just about the same condition he was when you last saw him." He looked dazed, his voice a monotone in the darkness as he came towards her, stopping about twenty feet away, waiting.
She seemed calmer having received this little bit of good news, although she supposed she should be angry that he said Spike was only in almost the same condition, but she let the matter die, only concerned now with what had taken place. Angel seeming to sense the conflicting questions on her face simply shrugged and answered her anyways.
"You were right. He does have a soul." He shook his head holding his hands out palms upward in a silent plea of understanding before letting them drop to his side. "What happened, Buffy? I mean this just isn't. . .he just isn't. . .This didn't happen over night. How long ago. . ."
"You mean when did he get the soul?"
Angel nodded, "Well, that too, but," he sighed then, unsure of so much at that point that he needed to reconfirm the simple fact that he didn't need to breath. "How long has he been here, helping you? I somehow doubt he just showed up when he heard what was going on here, self-sacrifice for the world never seemed to be on his list of must-do's."
She almost smiled, "you'd be surprised."
"I'll bet. . ."
Crickets could be heard at that moment, the silence hanging so thickly in the air.
"After you left."
"What?"
It was Buffy's turn to sigh, not sure how she could explain any of this, least of all to Angel. "He came back, not long after you left. He was mostly just around to annoy us back then, but. . .not so much anymore."
"Because he changed?"
"Yes, no, I don't know." She shrugged moving over towards the cemetery gates, sliding down to the ground, her legs suddenly unwilling to offer her support any longer. "At first I didn't know what to think. He was this monster who tried to kill me and my friends more then once, but, but at the same time he wasn't. Not really. He had his chances, if he had wanted to kill us, me, he could have." She met his gaze now hearing the truth in her own words, "He was different to begin with, it was circumstances that changed. Not him."
Angel sat on the ground by the other gate, still keeping his distance from her, not really wanting to believe what she had said. "And the soul?"
Her voice was tiny this time as she pushed a bit of dirt around with her shoe, watching it swirl around intently, "For me. Last May." She swallowed hard, refusing to look up. "A lot of things happened after, after I came back. It all culminating with Willow nearly destroying the world, Xander stopping her with a yellow crayon, and Spike fighting to get, and winning, his soul. . .all and all it was pretty busy around here." She shrugged it off as if it was just another day on the Hellmouth.
*Yellow crayon? He'd have to ask about that one later.* Angel had a sinking feeling in his stomach. How hard had he himself fought to avoid getting his soul back? What lengths had his demon gone to in order to prevent it from happening? Knowing this, how could he possibly expect to believe, or even understand, why Spike, a demon, would actively go out and fight for his soul? Nothing on this plane of existence could have made Angel do the same. Not even her. . .what could that possibly mean?
"Why did he do it? I know you say it was for you, but what possible reason could he have had?" The confusion he felt was clearly etched on his face.
Buffy's lower lip trembled slightly, her eyes closing for a moment, her heart hurting from all that had happened. She knew what had triggered the decision for Spike, but she also knew that it wasn't that event itself. It was her. It was everything she had ever said, every punch she had ever thrown, and every hurtful thing she ever did. All of it. All of it had caused him to decide that that was the course of action he needed to take. And why? *To be hers* because. . . "He loves me."
And despite every ounce of his demon saying that it wasn't possible. That he couldn't have loved her before he had a soul, he knew it was true. His own soul swore it. Swore that it was self-centered to think that just because he was a cruel, heartless, evil monster, incapable of love without one didn't meant that every other demon was to. He felt his heart tear at the realization of it all, everything Spike said suddenly making a very clear sorta sense. His response was the kind of simple one that would made Spike laugh, if he was around to hear it:
"Oh."
And all Buffy could think was: *Yeah, oh. . .*