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DISCLAIMER: Squaresoft owns the characters and everything else related to Final Fantasy VIII. While I don't use the actual name in the story, the Super Bowl is a registered trademark of the National Football League.
The zaniness begins! Again, while I have some ideas as to where the story is going to go, ideas and suggestions are always welcome!
"You're telling me that you haven't even seen a T-Rexaur yet? Our entire class has! What's the matter with you?!"
"Look, I just haven't gotten around to it yet. Not that the Grats are too tough, but come on. It's just a big dinosaur. What is there to worry about?"
"Plenty, when it starts eating you." A stern voice startled the two young cadets, who immediately went rigid and saluted.
Quistis Trepe crossed her arms and shook her head. "Don't take the Training Center lightly. It's not a video game. If you get killed, you're dead. There is no reset button," she admonished.
"Yes, Instructor! Sorry, Instructor!" The two cadets were tripping over themselves trying to apologize.
Quistis waved them away and continued down the walkway ring toward the cafeteria. It was nearly noon, and she desperately needed a distraction to grading SeeD exams.
An ear-splitting "YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!" pierced the air just as Quistis entered the cafeteria. She knew the voice well and chuckled to herself.
Zell Dincht was doing backflips in the center of the room. Everyone was either staring at him or laughing at him, but Zell seemed not to notice that he was making a spectacle of himself.
Quistis spotted Selphie chatting animatedly with Xu at a table not far from Zell's little display. She made her way over and pulled up a chair.
"Heya Quisty!" Selphie half-shouted, cheerfully as usual.
Quistis grinned and glanced over at Zell, who was now at the front of the line waiting for food. "Let me guess, new batch of hot dogs just came up."
"Do you even have to ask?" Selphie joked.
Quistis couldn't help but laugh again. Selphie though, launched right back into what she had been saying.
"So as I was saying, I got a call from my good friend Michelle back at Trabia Garden today. We must've talked for over an hour! She said that her ears were ringing afterwards, I think the volume on her phone was too loud."
Xu laughed and Quistis gave Selphie a wry grin. "I'm sure that was her problem," Quistis joked.
Selphie ignored her. "Anyway, that's not the best part! You won't believe what she asked me!"
Before she could finish the thought, Zell came bounding over with a tray loaded down with six hot dogs and three sodas. He sat in the table's fourth chair and started eating, oblivious to the stares he was getting from the three women.
"Gosh, Zell. Didn't your mother ever teach you to eat like a human being?" Xu asked.
"Hmmph?" Zell had already downed a hot dog and nearly spat half of it out in his attempt to talk.
Xu sighed. "Anyway, is it really wise to be eating all those hot dogs now? Isn't the first football practice this afternoon?"
Zell nodded vigorously and took a long swig from a soda glass. "Hell yeah! First practice and our first meeting with the coach! And I think the team's owners, Cid and Edea, are going to give us some sort of introductory speech. It's going to be great! I can't wait to get out there, it's going to be a lot like combat training, except nobody's trying to kill anybody."
"Oh yes, it looks like such a civilized sport," Quistis said, sarcasm dripping in her voice.
"You sure you don't want to play, Quisty? You could probably knock around every guy out there...except me of course."
"You've got it all wrong, Zell. I probably couldn't take every guy out there, but I could definitely take you," Quistis retorted.
"That hurts, Instructor."
"Don't call me that, I'm off duty right now."
"Speaking of football..." Selphie chimed in.
"Don't tell me somebody convinced you to play," Xu said.
"No...but close."
Selphie paused dramatically. "I was saying before, about when I was talking to my friend at Trabia...well anyway, she gave me a new job!"
"A job?" Zell and Quistis asked at the same time.
"Yeah! You're looking at the newest cheerleader for the Trabia Snow Lions!"
Quistis' mouth dropped open and Zell laughed out loud. "Cheerleading! That's fantastic! You're perfect for that, Selph!" he said.
"Gooooooooo Snow Lions!" Selphie shouted. She immediately covered her mouth and put her head down after the entire cafeteria turned to glare at her.
"That's gonna be tough to practice here," Quistis joked.
"I'll keep that in mind," Selphie replied, a lopsided grin plastered on her face.
"You couldn't get on the cheerleading squad here?" asked Xu.
"Are you kidding? They'd make me the captain of the squad without a second thought! But...I owe it to my friends back in Trabia. We're gonna have a blast!"
"That makes two enemies now," Zell joked.
Selphie and Quistis gave him a questioning glance. "Irvine is going to be Galbadia's star player, remember? For a hot shot like him, it's not too surprising. And I think the reason he's playing for Galbadia is because he'll have more media attention."
"If he starts flirting with his new 'fan club'..." Selphie muttered.
Quistis raised an eyebrow. "Then what happens if he does?"
"Huh? Oh! You heard that?!"
Zell smirked. "We know you like him, Selph. No need to hide it."
Selphie blushed crimson. "Stop it guys! I do not!"
Selphie's companions began to laugh again when Headmaster Cid's voice came over the loudspeaker.
"This is the Headmaster speaking. Quistis Trepe, please report to my office. I repeat, Quistis Trepe, please report to my office."
Quistis growled. "Dammit, and I didn't even eat yet. This had better be good."
"Now now Quistis, that's no way for an instructor to talk," Selphie joked.
"Say hi to Irvine for me," Quistis shot back with a grin as she stood up.
Selphie shook a fist at her as she walked away. "Oh, you'll pay for that, Quisty!"
Quistis' stomach growled as she stepped inside the elevator and pressed the button for the third floor. It rumbled again as the doors opened to let her out.
"Alright already, I heard you the first time," she muttered.
She stalked over to Cid's office and knocked politely on the polished wooden door.
"Come in, Quistis." The Headmaster's voice sounded muffled.
She peered a bit hesitantly inside as she opened the door. Cid was sitting on his chair with his back to her, and he was attempting to straighten up a mess of papers on the floor.
Quistis sighed. Nothing out of the ordinary, she thought. "What can I do for you, sir?"
Cid rummaged through his papers for another moment before shouting, "A ha!" and standing up with a small book in his hand. He walked over and stood in front of her with his hands, and the book, behind his back.
"I have a request of you, Quistis," Cid began.
"What is it, sir?"
Cid sighed and took a breath before speaking again. "Please keep in mind that this is a request and not an order. Although I would be deeply saddened if you choose not to do this."
"Anyway, I'm sure you've heard about the Global Congress' new sport, and I'm sure you're aware that Edea and I are the owners of the new Balamb football team."
"Yes sir, I have. But if you're trying to convince me to play, I'm going to say no."
"No my dear Quistis, I am not asking you to play. But first, tell me, have you read the football rulebook yet? I thought I sent you a copy."
Quistis hesitated. "Yes sir, I did. I got bored last weekend and didn't feel like going to Selphie's little dorm party."
"Dorm party?" Cid raised an eyebrow.
"Umm..."
"Anyway, would you say that you are familiar with the game's rules?"
"More or less," she replied. She wasn't really seeing the point of all this, and it was beginning to make her nervous.
"Well then, here is my request to you. Quistis Trepe, I humbly ask you to be the first head coach of the Balamb Cadets."
Quistis couldn't believe her ears. "Sir...you want me to coach the team?"
"I can't think of anyone else better than you. It's just like teaching. And football is more strategy than anything else."
She couldn't remember the last time that she had been stunned speechless. The Global Congress was turning this new game into a spectacle. Every little thing was going to be scrutinized. Even though Cid wasn't asking her to play, she had her doubts. Her first thought seemed like one of common sense.
If things began to go badly, the coach would be the first one blamed. It would be a lot easier to fire one person than to fire the whole team.
"I...don't know, sir. Coaching sounds like more pressure than playing," she said.
"Nonsense, Quistis. You went through Time Compression! You defeated a Sorceress from the far future! But coaching a football team makes you nervous?"
"But sir, haven't you heard what the world's reporters and journalists are saying about this? They're getting a chance to roast people in the press just for a stupid game."
Cid sighed. "But I don't see it that way, Quistis. Most of our players are our own students. They know you and they like you. You have a firm hand, yet not overbearing. And even though you're a woman, you've more than earned your respect for defeating Ultimecia."
"But..."
"Consider it a challenge, Quistis," Cid interrupted. "You have six months to mold your 'troops' into a cohesive unit that can go out into the field and do battle against other well-trained units. But you Quistis, you give us an immediate advantage, because I can't think of anyone else with the tactical experience and knowledge that you have."
"You flatter me too much, sir."
"So what do you think? Will you do it?"
Quistis took a deep breath and exhaled loudly. While she was still quite nervous about the whole idea, she suddenly realized that the sport was just a game. She could have fun. A diversion from the monotony of grading papers and teaching classes. Plus, she could use some outdoor exercise.
She looked Cid directly in the eyes and smiled. "I guess my competitive spirit won't allow me to say no."
Cid beamed. "Fantastic, Quistis! Fantastic! I'm sure you'll do a wonderful job! Here, let me give you this, only the eight owners received a copy of this book." He handed her the book that he had been holding. The cover read, "A Coach's Guide to Football."
"I heard from Zell that the first practice is today," Quistis said.
"Yes, but it's mostly just an informal gathering. We're having all the players meet in the Quad at 5:00. Edea and I will talk to them first, since we're the owners and all. We'll fill them in on more details on how the league will be run and whatnot. After that, we introduce you, our new coach, and you can talk to them about what to expect from you."
"Like how I'll handle practices and things like that."
"Exactly! You're going to love this, Quistis. I know it."
"Well, thank you for the opportunity, sir."
"Quistis...thank you for taking the job."
"Do I get paid extra for this?" she joked.
"Yes," Cid replied seriously.
"Alright. I'll be at the Quad at 5."
Cid smiled again as she turned and walked out the door.
"Looks like I'll be on the front page of the Balamb newspaper again," she muttered to herself.
Zell careened past the Directory on his T-Board and did an acrobatic flip over the exit turnstiles. He was heading outside to get a good workout in before the evening practice. He figured he could run a lap around the Garden to start getting himself back into shape.
He noticed two familiar figures walking up the front steps, but the world suddenly becoming blurred and hazy. He shot his head around in confusion, before noticing that one of the "figures" in front of him was laughing hysterically. The T-Board came to a stop and the world returned to normal speed.
"Come on Squall, I wasn't going that fast. Was there really a need to cast a Slow spell on me?" Zell whined.
"That look on your face was priceless." Squall stunned him with a non-serious answer. Rinoa, who was latched onto his left arm, giggled in surprise.
"Did...did you just...make a joke, Squall?" Zell stammered.
"Actually you were going too fast, and technically, T-Boards aren't allowed in Garden."
Zell scowled and Rinoa's face fell. "I'm working on him, Zell. I'm going to get Squall to lighten up if it's the last thing I do," she proclaimed.
"I believe it," Squall muttered.
Zell chuckled. "Well anyway, what brings you two out here in the middle of the day? Not enough work for you at the office, Squall?"
Squall scowled at him while Rinoa laughed out loud. "Squall's on an extended lunch break," she said. "We took a walk down to the beach. It's awfully warm weather for March isn't it?"
"I suppose," Squall replied blandly.
"Well, I was heading out for a run before football practice today," Zell chimed in. "Gonna join us, Squall?"
"Not a chance."
"Come on! It's just a game! Have some fun!"
"I've got more important things to worry about."
"Like what?" Rinoa interrupted.
"You."
"Aww, isn't he such a sweetheart?" She directed the comment at Zell, who laughed again.
"Oh well, I guess if she can't convince you to play, then nobody can," Zell said. "Well, I'm off. Later, guys!"
"Hold it, Zell," Squall commanded. "Lose the T-Board please."
"But, Commander, please..."
"Would you like Shiva to try reasoning with you?"
"Tch...fine." Zell handed over the T-Board. "But I'd better get it back. No melting it down for generic weapon enhancements, like my last one."
"Don't worry, Zell. It's in good hands."
Zell gave him a look, but turned around and took off laughing.
Rinoa reached up and kissed Squall as he turned around. "We still need to work on your people skills, my knight," she said.
"Yes, your Highnessness."
She hit him playfully on the arm. "You know I hate those fancy names."
"Yes, Princess."
"Meanie."
Squall laughed, a very rare occurrence, as they walked back towards Garden. He handed Zell's T-Board over to the attendant at the turnstiles. He then allowed her to lead him back inside the building, arm-in-arm.
They walked all the way to the elevator in silence.
"You know, Squall, one of Zell's comments reminded me of something that I need to tell you." Rinoa looked at him as they entered the elevator.
"What is it?"
"I'll tell you when we get to your office, Commander."
"I deserved that," he muttered under his breath. He forgot that Rinoa's sorceress powers had enhanced all her senses, and that she could hear him loud and clear. She smirked at him coyly.
Squall shook his head at a large stack of paperwork propped against the door that had materialized during his little break.
"Remind me again why I took this job," he asked rhetorically.
"I have a Firaga spell handy," Rinoa offered.
"Probably not the best of ideas, although under the circumstances, I wouldn't really mind."
Rinoa laughed as he released her to scoop up the papers and open the door. She closed it behind them and chuckled again as he dropped the papers on his desk with a loud thud and a very annoyed sigh.
Squall turned around and pulled her into a tight hug. "Now, what was it you were going to tell me."
She pushed away slightly but kept herself in his arms. "First, I need you to promise me that you won't call me stupid or crazy."
"Promise."
"Ok, well, I was thinking about this for a long time. You remember all that money I've got stashed away in my mother's trust fund and my father's bank accounts?"
"What about it?"
"Well, I figured that I could spend a bunch of it, since what does a Sorceress need money for? And I can also leech off your paycheck if I get desperate."
Squall smirked. "That's a truckload of cash you've got, Rin. How could you possibly spend it all at once."
She smirked right back. "You don't know girls that well, do you, Squall."
"That's what you're here for."
He kissed her before she had a chance to continue.
She regathered her breath. "As I was about to say, before I was so nicely interrupted, is that I got a request from the President of Timber to spend some of that truckload."
"They're asking for charitable donations?"
"No, actually. It has to do with football."
"Football?"
"I know how much you don't care for the game, but this was something I couldn't pass up."
Squall's face could have been carved from stone.
"You're looking at the new owner of the Timber Forest Owls football team," she whispered.
"What?!"
"Geez, Squall, no need to shout."
"You bought the team?"
"Yes!" She flashed him her best smile.
"Why?"
"Well...why not?"
"It's a silly game."
"Squall, just because it's a game doesn't mean that it's silly. Look, I know you don't want to play, and I promise that I'll never whine to you about it again. But this could be a fun thing for me! I can already imagine the newspaper headline, 'Timber Heroine Returns to Buy Football Team'."
"And they have no problem with the fact that you're the Sorceress."
Rinoa gave him a very dark look. "The plan is that they don't find out."
"Can you run the team from here?"
Confusion erased the dark look on her face. "Umm...yeah. That's why we have computers."
His mouth threatened to curl into a smile. "Then I only have one thing to say about this."
"Hmm?"
"Whatever."
Rinoa laughed loudly and leaned her head against his shoulder. "I actually have one more question," Squall whispered.
"What's that?"
"What happens if Balamb and Timber make it to this Eden Bowl thing."
She grinned. "Then Timber's going to win. And I get a big trophy to wave around for a whole year."
"You are something else, you know that."
"So are you."
She smiled and moved to meet her lips with his when they were abruptly cut off by a knock at the door.
Squall made an almost inhuman noise from the back of his throat, causing Rinoa to bury her head in his shoulder again to keep from laughing.
"Squall, you're not going to believe this!" a voice shouted from behind the door.
"Quistis?" Squall shouted.
The blonde-haired instructor stepped into the room and gasped, covering her mouth with her hand. "Oh! I'm so sorry! I..."
"Quistis, what is it?" Squall asked evenly.
"Oh..." Quistis paused when she heard Rinoa's giggling. "I uh, I just talked to Cid. He made me the coach of the Balamb football team!"
"Oh Great Hyne, football," Squall grumbled.
Quistis and Rinoa's laughter echoed around the room.
Trust me, this will get wackier. Star Galbadian quarterback Irvine, Trabia cheerleader Selphie, and Balamb Head Coach Quistis is just the beginning. Expect a lot more to happen once I get past the slow introductory chapters.