Disc: I rechecked and of course Smallville still doesn't belong to me. That freaking sucks. Song used is Misery by Pink and Walk Away by Christina Aquilera. A/N: I didn't start this fic out with the intent to be a sadistic mind and not reveal the writer of the journal. However, it's turned out that way so just bear with me. I love feedback but hate flames... Sorry it took so long to spit out this chapter.
Slipping Away (3)
Misery, misery
Love is slipping through my fingers, like grains of sand. I don't know what to do to keep it from just fading away. I should have just settled for friendship. But I couldn't. I was greedy, begging for more. Now greed has left me with a shadow of what I used to have.
Tell me why does my heart make a fool of me
What doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Ha! I'm not only in danger of losing one friend, but two. How is that supposed to make me stronger? If… If… ever found out about what I did, they would be totally pissed.
Misery, Misery
Tell me why, why, why, does my heart make a fool of me
Sorry Mr. Marshall can't use names here. It's bad enough I'm spouting this all off where you can see it. Though I doubt I'll even turn this in. Fuck, I'm sick of writing in this freaking you journal. It's no help at all. It makes me think too much. I don't need to think.
Guess it's all meant to be
For love to cause such, Misery
Damn!
"Shit!" Clark and Chloe said in unison as they both threw their notebooks across the room. Both notebooks landed safely at Pete's feet.
Pete ignored his two temperamental friends and went back to playing his PS2.
Clark found himself pinned by Chloe's shrewd glare. "Clark Kent curses?"
Clark found himself blushing slightly. "I'm not a saint Chloe."
Pete paused his game. "What do you two write about in those journals? It's like you've been glued to them all summer long." He reached down to pick up Clark's but wasn't surprised when it was yanked out of his hands.
Chloe grabbed hers before Pete could reach for it and stuffed it in her book bag. "I don't even want to talk about that stupid assignment Mr. Marshal gave us."
Clark packed away his notebook as well and stood up. "Listen guys, it's time for me to go. My parents are riding into Metropolis for some type of anniversary and they want to give me some last minute instructions before they leave."
Chloe held up her keys. "Do you want a ride home? I'm about to leave as well."
Clark looked over Chloe's shoulder to where Pete was nodding madly. "Yeah sure. I've had enough walking for today."
Clark made a motion to help Chloe with her laptop bag and book bag. Chloe smirked at him. "Gee, Mr. Neanderthal, I think I have a handle on things."
Clark backed up. "I was just trying to be helpful."
"A little to late to be helpful Clark. I'm not your precious Lana Lang." Chloe blurted out.
A hurt look came over Clark's face. "I told you I was sorry about that Chloe." He shook his head and turned to walk out the house. "I think I'll walk home after all."
Even Pete had winced at Chloe's sharp tone. "Man, Chloe, that was a low blow. You think you could have pulled a few punches?"
An apologetic look came over Chloe's face. "I didn't mean it. I just had a momentary lapse in judgment." She looked up at him with a 'what should I do look?'.
"Well don't just stand there. Go after him." Pete practically shouted.
Chloe nodded. "You're right. Talk to you later."
She ran out side and yelled out. "Clark!"
He heard her but chose to keep walking. "Clark! Wait up. I'm sorry!"
He finally paused and let her run up to him. "No need to apologize. I'm the one who should apologize to you. I'm the one who ditched you last year."
Chloe sighed. "Yeah but you had a good excuse and besides you've already apologized like a million times. Besides, I don't know what came over me. Maybe I'm just pms-ing or something"
Clark kicked a pebble that was next to his shoe. "Too much information, Chloe. Anyway, I can't help but apologize because it's obvious that our friendship has been falling apart since that moment. Chloe I can't afford to lose you. And by the way we've been avoiding each other this summer is just wrong."
"Clark, I don't know what to say to make you realize that nothing has changed between us. We will always friends." Chloe said.
Clark sighed. "Yeah friends but what if…" Clark shook his head. He didn't want to finish that statement.
"If what, Clark?" Chloe prompted him to continue.
"Never mind. How about I accept your apology if you accept mine?"
Chloe thought about for just a minute. "Okay sounds like a wonderful Idea."
They both climbed in the car. The ride home was a silent but comfortable one. Both were lost in their own thoughts. Though they knew that the fences were far from mended they knew that at least they were on the right track.
________________________________________________________________________
I can make it
It's some state I'm in
I was talking to Pain the other day. (Damn, I sound insane.) Anyway, I think I've found a way to get rid of the slut, Regret. I'll just beg some help from forgiveness.
Getting nothing every time
What did I do to deserve
Then again Pain has been telling me what a stupid idea that is. I honestly think pain is just getting a little too attached. (The pain of this moment) Hanging out with my friends so far this summer has brought me to the realization that if it was meant to be it will happen. If it wasn't, oh well.
I should dwell on it too much. I mean yeah I love this person and yeah I screwed up. But, is that any reason to bring others down with me. Should I start this vicious cycle all over again during next school term?
And everywhere I turn
Damn, Regret is still trying to sneak up on me. Why the hell is she bothering me?
I keep going right back
To the one thing that I need to walk away from
Shit! Seeking forgiveness is not as easy as I thought.
TBC