The characters aren't mine.
I feel that I should mention here that unfortunately I haven't had the opportunity to view that many episodes of this wonderful series. I do not know Elliot's children and I have used Kathleen simply because she and I share the same name.
Again, thank you for the feedback. It keeps me writing :)
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I looked into Olivia's eyes, wondering if I should be frightened by what I saw in them; a desire that mirrored my own. She blinked and I ran my thumb tenderly over her eye, pushing back a lock of hair as I went.
"Liv..." I murmured.
She opened her eyes again. Now or never Elliot. I had seen the same look in Kathy's eyes, not so long ago. The look that challenged me, the look that told me what she desired.
I had my back pressed against the door, feeling the cold seeping through it and into my skin. Olivia raised a hand and laid it on my chest. "Are you thinking about her?" she asked, her lips barely moving even as she said the words.
The question caught me off guard - of course I was thinking about her. Kathy was the last woman who had been so close to me in such an intimate way. "Yes." I admitted. "But not like that."
Olivia raised an eyebrow. "Like what?"
"I'm not imagining that she's here."
Olivia took her hand off my chest, leaving behind a heated patch that quickly cooled; calling out for her touch again. She stepped away from me, wrapping her arms around her body, as though she were shielding herself from my eyes.
"Dad?"
I saw Olivia visibly flinch at the sound of Kathleen's voice and I cursed myself for not having heard her come downstairs. Kathleen's eyes never left Olivia's figure as she hurriedly put on her boots and pushed past me. "I'll see you tomorrow." she mumbled before continuing with her hasty retreat.
I shut the door after her. Leaving a hand on it, I turned to face my daughter. To say that she was not impressed would have been an understatement. "Discussing work?" Kathleen asked, the sarcasm fairly dripping from her words.
I can't tell her that it wasn't what it looked like. It was - or would have been had Olivia not backed away when she did. I shook my head, not willing to argue with Kathleen tonight. "Go back to bed." I said, keeping my voice even.
Kathleen gave me a cold look and turned on her heels. I don't blame her for feeling the way that she does - afterall, it wasn't that long ago that she -quite literally- stumbled over the dead body of her mother. She blamed me for Kathy's death - hell, I blame myself for Kathy's death. You didn't love her enough. Hadn't loved her enough to protect her from my job.
Kathleen's footsteps thundered up the stairs and a moment later, her bedroom door closed with a slam. I felt a shudder run through my body as the noise jolted me. In the living room, a piece of paper fluttered down to the floor.
The paper wasn't important, it could remain on the floor. I could feel a chilly draft floating into the house and longed to feel that coolness over my entire body. Shoving my feet into runners, I grabbed a light jacket and headed out the door. It didn't much matter where I was going, the important thing was that I was going.
My feet hit the pavement, faster and faster as I picked up speed before settling into a comfortable jog. I ran under streetlights, past sleeping houses. Who knew what evil lurked within those houses. The evil that killed, the evil that you see day in and day out. A dog barked in a fenced off yard as I jogged past. I let out a small shush and the dog howled.
I wasn't entirely sure just how long I had been running. I felt surprisingly winded and bent over, resting my hands on my knees. A bead of sweat rolled down my face, chilling quickly in the cold air. As I let out panting breaths, they condensed in the air, creating a puff of white. As I stood up, I looked around, only faintly recognizing where I had ended up. It all looks so different in the dark.
The sound of a motor in the distance caught my attention. As it drew closer, headlights shone down the street. I felt myself involuntarily freeze. Like a deer caught in headlights.
The car drew up beside me, rubbing tires on the curb. I knew the car. A window rolled down and I peered inside. "Get in." she said. "It's freezing out there."
I grabbed the handle and let myself inside; feeling instantly grateful for the heat blowing on my face. "I thought you went home." I said, glancing over at her - at her hands gripping the steering wheel.
She shook her head. "Found myself driving in circles around your neighbourhood instead."
Her foot remained on the brake but she looked as though she wanted to stomp on the gas and send the car, along with both of us, careening over the sidewalk and through the white picket fence on the other side. "Don't worry about Kathleen." I said softly.
"She seemed pretty upset."
"Don't worry about her." I said again, hoping that if I said it enough times, I might even start to believe it myself. "She just needs more time."
Olivia looked at me, her dark eyes flashing in the soft glow from the streetlight. "And you don't?"
"I'm fine."
"So that's why you were jogging in the middle of the night on the coldest day in April?"
She had a point. Why was I running? Was I running from something? "I needed to clear my head."
Olivia nodded and switched her foot over to the gas. She steered the car back onto the road and drove slowly down the street. "Want me to take you home?"
I watched the careful movement of her hands as she turned the wheel. I wanted to say no but I couldn't. "Yes. Take me home."
Was that a flicker of disappointment that I saw cross her face? "Okay." she murmured. Okay - I'll take you home, you need to be with your kids. Okay - but I'm disappointed that you don't want to go elsewhere.
"We'll talk about this soon Liv, I promise."
Her head nodded, a barely perceptible movement as she concentrated on the road ahead. She pulled up at the curb outside my house, again rubbing her tires. Now or never Elliot. I leaned over to her, hooking her chin with my thumb.
She let out a small squeak as my fingers touched her face again. I pressed my lips to hers and then before either of us could utter another word, I left the car and jogged into the house.