A/N: Here is the new chapter and I hope you enjoy because I have no idea what came over me when I wrote this.
Please review for this could get quite interesting.
Chapter Four: Soap and Nudity
By Elvensong
"I knew humans smelled sometimes, but this is just not funny anymore!" Legolas' elven sense of smell was becoming quite bothersome for him at the moment.
Aragorn and Boromir still wore the mud from the previous day's detour from the path and now that they had left, the leaves and forest debris was trapped in the clothes, hair and other places that ought not to be mentioned.
It was when even Gimli joined in the complaining about the smell that the two relented to journeying to the nearby river for a bath.
"You'll need this."
"Soap?" Aragorn questioned, one eyebrow raised.
"Of course it's soap."
"You carry soap with you in the wilderness?"
"One never can tell when they might encounter something unclean." Legolas stood firm, seeing nothing at all odd about having a constant supply of clean smelling soap nearby. Given Aragorn's reaction though, he decided to keep the perfumes hidden for the time being.
The two men looked positively miserable sitting in the shallow river. Between the two the water surrounding them had turned an awful shade of brown, with fragments of unidentifiable objects floating here and there.
The Hobbits, of course, found other things to keep them occupied, such as the need for breakfast. Plus, given how long it might take for the pair in the river to get clean, they may actually be able to chance a second breakfast as well.
"Merry, have some of these wonderful mushrooms!" Sam said cheerfully.
His friend, on the other hand, responded with a polite, bur firm, "No, thank you, Sam." Followed by paranoid looks towards every sound the surrounding forest made.
Frodo and Sam wondered at their friend's change ever since returning from the forest when Legolas found them. They both spared a peak at the said Elf who was supervising the removal of dirt from Aragorn and suspected perhaps some elvish trick had been used to get them to behave and stay near camp. The connection to Merry and Pippin's favorite food eluded them.
Slashing suddenly broke them out of their thoughts, "I can come out now! I am clean!"
"Not clean enough!"
A snort was the reply from Boromir, "Perhaps not enough for an Elf, but for a man this is about as clean as we get!"
Standing tall on the riverbank, Legolas eyed them suspiciously. "I believe you missed some dirt behind your ears. You may not wash again for some time and you should take all the time…..
"Killer Mushroom!"
SPLASH!
Out of nowhere, Gimli, who had been napping right behind Legolas the whole time suddenly awoke to Pippin's cries and in his attempts to ready himself knocked straight into the Elf, who in turn fell off his perch and straight into the pool where the men were currently wiping water off of their faces.
Aragorn pounced over the exasperated Elf to the defense of the hobbit, before realizing all he held was a bar of soap and was wearing his birthday suit.
Thus was born the strategic defense against the Killer Mushroom as seen in the title of this chapter.
Please review for this could get quite interesting.
Chapter Four: Soap and Nudity
By Elvensong
"I knew humans smelled sometimes, but this is just not funny anymore!" Legolas' elven sense of smell was becoming quite bothersome for him at the moment.
Aragorn and Boromir still wore the mud from the previous day's detour from the path and now that they had left, the leaves and forest debris was trapped in the clothes, hair and other places that ought not to be mentioned.
It was when even Gimli joined in the complaining about the smell that the two relented to journeying to the nearby river for a bath.
"You'll need this."
"Soap?" Aragorn questioned, one eyebrow raised.
"Of course it's soap."
"You carry soap with you in the wilderness?"
"One never can tell when they might encounter something unclean." Legolas stood firm, seeing nothing at all odd about having a constant supply of clean smelling soap nearby. Given Aragorn's reaction though, he decided to keep the perfumes hidden for the time being.
The two men looked positively miserable sitting in the shallow river. Between the two the water surrounding them had turned an awful shade of brown, with fragments of unidentifiable objects floating here and there.
The Hobbits, of course, found other things to keep them occupied, such as the need for breakfast. Plus, given how long it might take for the pair in the river to get clean, they may actually be able to chance a second breakfast as well.
"Merry, have some of these wonderful mushrooms!" Sam said cheerfully.
His friend, on the other hand, responded with a polite, bur firm, "No, thank you, Sam." Followed by paranoid looks towards every sound the surrounding forest made.
Frodo and Sam wondered at their friend's change ever since returning from the forest when Legolas found them. They both spared a peak at the said Elf who was supervising the removal of dirt from Aragorn and suspected perhaps some elvish trick had been used to get them to behave and stay near camp. The connection to Merry and Pippin's favorite food eluded them.
Slashing suddenly broke them out of their thoughts, "I can come out now! I am clean!"
"Not clean enough!"
A snort was the reply from Boromir, "Perhaps not enough for an Elf, but for a man this is about as clean as we get!"
Standing tall on the riverbank, Legolas eyed them suspiciously. "I believe you missed some dirt behind your ears. You may not wash again for some time and you should take all the time…..
"Killer Mushroom!"
SPLASH!
Out of nowhere, Gimli, who had been napping right behind Legolas the whole time suddenly awoke to Pippin's cries and in his attempts to ready himself knocked straight into the Elf, who in turn fell off his perch and straight into the pool where the men were currently wiping water off of their faces.
Aragorn pounced over the exasperated Elf to the defense of the hobbit, before realizing all he held was a bar of soap and was wearing his birthday suit.
Thus was born the strategic defense against the Killer Mushroom as seen in the title of this chapter.