Tortillian Song Contest
A/N: Slight change of plan. Can't be bothered to start a new story so am continuing in this one.
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or the songs. Ha! Now you can't get me! The songs are: "Whenever I feel afraid" by Richard Hammerstein, "I Will Survive" by Gloria Gaynor and "Richard Cory" by Simon & Garfunkel.
*General Noise and argument*
Alanna: Me first!
Clerk: But you haven't put in and entry
Alanna: Just let me enter*Produces large sword*
Clerk: Ah, yes well my mistake, of course you can enter, you're on second!
Alanna: Good!
Presenter: Welcome to the Annual Tortillian Song Contest! This year we have two *is handed a piece of paper*, I mean three entrants! First up we have George Cooper with: "Whenever I Feel Afraid"
George runs on in a glittering gold suit with a large knife. He picks up his microphone and nods along to that intro.
Whenever I feel afraid,
I hold my knife erect
And cut off an ear or two
So no one will suspect
I'm afraid.
While shivering in my cloak
I make some people deaf
And cut off an ear or two
And no one's ever guessed
I'm afraid.
The result of this deception
Is very strange to tell
For when I fool the people I fear
They lose their ears as well!
Oh I cut off an ear or two
And to hear there dying screams
You'll never guess but it's true
I'm utterly convinced
I'm not afraid!
*Whistle*
I'll cut of your ears, and leave a nice, big, SCAR!
Presenter: Next we Alanna with: "Roger Conte"
Alanna walks on in usual clothes.
They say that Roger Conte
Owned one half of this old town
He was dashing, he was clever and
He spread his wealth around
Born into society, Duke Peter's only child
And on top of that he had the Gift
And a really charming smile
But I, I knew he was evil
And he cursed the Queen and country
And he cursed my friends and me
And they all wanted to be
'Cause they simply couldn't see
Yes they all wanted to be
Roger Conte
He caused the Sweating Sickness
But he wasn't coming back
They never knew there was a reason
He was somewhere in Carthak!
He sent us to the City
Put ideas in Jon's head
He spelled to near-certain doom
He thought that we were dead
But I, I knew he was evil
And he cursed the Queen and country
And he cursed my friends and me
And they all wanted to be
'Cause they simply couldn't see
Yes they all wanted to be
Roger Conte
The Chamber showed me pictures
When I went for my Ordeal
Roger standing, over Jonathon
I didn't know if it was real
So I crept into his room one night
Found how his evil thrived
I challenged him, we had a fight
I won and Roger died
But I, I knew he was evil
And he cursed the Queen and country
And he cursed my friends and me
And they all wanted to be
'Cause they simply couldn't see
Yes they all wanted to be
Roger Conte
*Alanna stalks off*
Presenter: Finally tonight we have Duke Roger of Conte with I Will Survive!
Roger appears on stage. Audience gasp. A fat woman faints, in the hope of being brought round with brandy. Alanna faints because everyone else seems to be doing it.
I will Survive
I will survive
If I'm not chopped in little bits
I know I'm still alive
I've got all my life to fill
I've got future kings to kill
I will survive
I will survive
Ohohohoh
(A/N Don't know where that came from)
I'll sit on that throne
It'll be mine someday
I won't let some strange woman knight
Chuck all my hopes away
Did you think the party had ended so soon?
Duke Roger has risen, he's back from the tomb!
I'm evil you know, but give me a break!
It's hardly my fault I'm
Chased by men waving stakes
I'll get my revenge
And that is a fact
Tortillians tremble:
DUKE ROGER IS BACK!
Presenter: OK that's the songs over with. *Breaths sigh of relief* If you want George to win: Dial 1
If you want Alanna to win: Dial 2
If you want Roger to win: Dial 3
And if you think I would be a good purple monkey: Dial 4 and someone will be around to take you away.
Thank you and good night!