Song Contest – The Aftermath
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters or the songs. *cracks head against wall repeatedly*
Presenter: Welcome back to the Song Contest! The votes are being counted and currently Alanna and the Purple Monkey Outfit are in the lead with two votes with George a close second with one. However, Roger is trailing behind, as he has no votes! However, all people in white coats are currently dispatched to bring in the "subjects" Muahahahahahaha!!! That means that if you dialled "4", look forward to a nice cloth bag….(A/N: The Yamani Lump, Tortall don't have rubber yet!) Now, onto our ne…..
Director: Now you have to dress up in a Purple Monkey Outfit!
Presenter: No. You will never take me alive!
George: If you die then can I have your ears?
Presenter: Why would I be about to die?
Director: Breach of contract! You have to obey the director! The punishment is death by Alanna. Now get in the Purple Monkey Suit!
Presenter: Ah…*Alanna rides in with big sword* Of course I will wear the suit! *Puts it on very quickly and prances around stage*
Alanna: Damn. I wanted to kill him….
Director: Poor you. Hey, go kill Owen!
Owen: Do you have a jolly reason?
Director: You are polluting this jolly country with your jolliness!
Owen: Is that a jolly crime?
Director: *grinds teeth together* Shut….up…
Owen: Well, this is a very unjolly atmosphere! I will go and find Neal and rejollify him!
Alanna: If you even talk to my squire, I swear I'll get you!
Owen: *skips off singing* Jolly, jolly, jolly, jolly..
*Alanna charges after Owen with Big Sword. Director sighs and goes to sleep. George, thinking he is asleep, creeps over and cuts his ears off*
*Director dies*
Alanna: You killed the director! For that I must get you! *Hacks George up because she is in a temper*
George: Urk….
Presenter: *still skipping around the stage* Can.. I.. Stop.. Yet..?
Alanna: No. Keep going!
*Presenter dies of overheating*
Alanna: Hmm… I am the only one alive, therefore I declare myself the winner! *Grabs Big Gold Trophy*
*Roger appears in a puff of smoke*
Roger: I dispute that! *grabs Big Gold Trophy (BGT)
Alanna: *Hacks Roger up**Retakes BGT* Ha. I win! I'd like to thank all of my friends at the Palace, Coram, Maude the Old Village Healer, Some Bazhir guy I met and, most of all, my husband George"
*Camera swirls to George being dead on the floor*
Alanna: I got… overexcited! *Purple fire appears around hands* Must destroy all evidence! *Zaps everything and legs it*