Disclaimer- I don't own the characters. I don't own What Not To Wear. I
don't own My Little Pony and I don't own Tammy Girl or Band-Aids. Or I
would be very rich.
OK, I just realised that we already did singing. So please tell me if you still want it, or you want something else. In the meantime...
What Not To Wear, With Jonny and Nealzannah
Jon- We're Jonny and Nealzannah, hard-hitting style journalists, in search of women who need a makeover..
Neal- This week, we're making over Duke Roger. He's been wearing the same clothes for an awfully long time, and he smells a bit funny!
Jon- That's because he's DEAD Neal! Anyhow he's not a woman!
Neal- Oh, I wondered..well he'll do.yeah! Thom! Come and raise Roger from the dead again!
Jon- Ummm.Thom's dead too!
Neal- No he isn't! Daine turned him into a rat.
Jon- OK then. DAINE! Stop experimenting on that Rat! That's what Numair`s for, remember! Go and feed Numair your latest batch of horse dung cakes, there's a good girl!
Neal- Yay! Now all we have to do is raise him from the dead, present him with a cheque, be nasty about his taste in clothes, take him shopping, tell him that he looks sexy in a lycra dress then take him back to the office, have his hair made over, film him for the next month looking like a sack of potatoes and voile! One television show!
Jon- * looks shifty * Yeah, that's basically it!
Neal- Can I bring My Little Pony?
Jon- Shhhhh! Lawyers are everywhere!!
Voiceover * Whooo! Voiceover!!! YayayA! Ouch! Don't hit me Jon! Anyhow, we had to , like, get Roger in the office a week later...don't hit me! I'll tell Mummy!
Jon- So, I notice you haven't changed your outfit for the past year. Can you tell us more about that? Roger- Yeah well, being dead doesn't help you know!
Jon- So we're going to add some bright colours to your wardrobe, maybe some Fawn, maybe some beige, some fuchsia, some cream..
Neal- Yum! Are you cooking Jon?
Jon- No they're.....never mind..
Shopping Day One
*voiceover* Roger is very excited about shopping. Where are you going to shop Roger?
Roger- Tammy Girl!!!!!!
*Voiceover* Well, the less said about that the better. Come on Neal, we have to sit in an upmarket restaurant following his every move!!
Roger- Funky! Let's go and spend, spend, spend!
Jon- We didn't give you the money yet!
Roger- I thought you hadn't noticed.awww! Look at that baby- blue soft-knit double-hyphenated cardigan-jumper!
Neal- Isn't that for a DOG?
Roger- Pet stores sell clothes too!!
Jon- I always wondered why you had a tartan jumper that said "Rover"!
Neal- I didn't know it talked!
Roger- SPEND!!!!!!
*voiceover * Well, it's been a hard days` shopping, and Roger has spent ALL of his money! He didn't even buy me an ice cream!!!!
Back at the studio
Jon- Well Roger has bought three green scarves, eight pairs of grape- scented socks, a pair of purple clown shoes, sixteen bowler hats with pictures of polar bears on, a tube of black and orange lipstick, a monogrammed shirt (D.I.E) A Funky Chicken sweater, a pair of elasticated trousers made out of Band-Aids and some pretty hair clips!
Roger- They're shaped like flowers!
Neal- What grace! What style! What co-ordination!
Jon- What a waste of money!!!!
Neal- And so, it's goodbye from us! Goodbye!
Roger- Muhahahhaaha!!!! Yes..GOODBYE!
OK, I just realised that we already did singing. So please tell me if you still want it, or you want something else. In the meantime...
What Not To Wear, With Jonny and Nealzannah
Jon- We're Jonny and Nealzannah, hard-hitting style journalists, in search of women who need a makeover..
Neal- This week, we're making over Duke Roger. He's been wearing the same clothes for an awfully long time, and he smells a bit funny!
Jon- That's because he's DEAD Neal! Anyhow he's not a woman!
Neal- Oh, I wondered..well he'll do.yeah! Thom! Come and raise Roger from the dead again!
Jon- Ummm.Thom's dead too!
Neal- No he isn't! Daine turned him into a rat.
Jon- OK then. DAINE! Stop experimenting on that Rat! That's what Numair`s for, remember! Go and feed Numair your latest batch of horse dung cakes, there's a good girl!
Neal- Yay! Now all we have to do is raise him from the dead, present him with a cheque, be nasty about his taste in clothes, take him shopping, tell him that he looks sexy in a lycra dress then take him back to the office, have his hair made over, film him for the next month looking like a sack of potatoes and voile! One television show!
Jon- * looks shifty * Yeah, that's basically it!
Neal- Can I bring My Little Pony?
Jon- Shhhhh! Lawyers are everywhere!!
Voiceover * Whooo! Voiceover!!! YayayA! Ouch! Don't hit me Jon! Anyhow, we had to , like, get Roger in the office a week later...don't hit me! I'll tell Mummy!
Jon- So, I notice you haven't changed your outfit for the past year. Can you tell us more about that? Roger- Yeah well, being dead doesn't help you know!
Jon- So we're going to add some bright colours to your wardrobe, maybe some Fawn, maybe some beige, some fuchsia, some cream..
Neal- Yum! Are you cooking Jon?
Jon- No they're.....never mind..
Shopping Day One
*voiceover* Roger is very excited about shopping. Where are you going to shop Roger?
Roger- Tammy Girl!!!!!!
*Voiceover* Well, the less said about that the better. Come on Neal, we have to sit in an upmarket restaurant following his every move!!
Roger- Funky! Let's go and spend, spend, spend!
Jon- We didn't give you the money yet!
Roger- I thought you hadn't noticed.awww! Look at that baby- blue soft-knit double-hyphenated cardigan-jumper!
Neal- Isn't that for a DOG?
Roger- Pet stores sell clothes too!!
Jon- I always wondered why you had a tartan jumper that said "Rover"!
Neal- I didn't know it talked!
Roger- SPEND!!!!!!
*voiceover * Well, it's been a hard days` shopping, and Roger has spent ALL of his money! He didn't even buy me an ice cream!!!!
Back at the studio
Jon- Well Roger has bought three green scarves, eight pairs of grape- scented socks, a pair of purple clown shoes, sixteen bowler hats with pictures of polar bears on, a tube of black and orange lipstick, a monogrammed shirt (D.I.E) A Funky Chicken sweater, a pair of elasticated trousers made out of Band-Aids and some pretty hair clips!
Roger- They're shaped like flowers!
Neal- What grace! What style! What co-ordination!
Jon- What a waste of money!!!!
Neal- And so, it's goodbye from us! Goodbye!
Roger- Muhahahhaaha!!!! Yes..GOODBYE!