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*Between Love and Hate*
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Spoilers: This is the fifth story in my series – if you haven't read any of my work before, you'd be best off going back to read and understand. The first story was Shattered Trusts and Whispered Confessions. The second is Remembering to Forget, the third is Events That Lead To Greatness. The most recent is the fourth story called the Longest Day (which was basically just a wrap up of some confusing things I had to sort out from previous works). This series is set after Hello Goodbye but does reveal spoilers from the rest of the season, as I incorporate it into the story.
Disclaimer: Ideas are mine based on the brilliant work of the Dark Angel team – so don't sue me! I wish I owned Alec, but I don't. So I have to settle for writing fiction about him.
Authors Note: Just a general shout out thanks to all the great readers who have been reviewing my work and totally keeping me motivated. If it weren't for you guys I wouldn't be writing this stuff. I am trying out a new style of writing in this one; let me know what you guys think.
Have fun and remember to review!
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CHAPTER EIGHTEENOne week later...
Max pushed her way into Alec's apartment, her eyes hopefully alert. He smiled in greeting from his spot on the couch in front of the TV,
"Hey Maxie."
She opened her mouth to protest against the nickname, but thought better against it, flashing him back a quick grin,
"Hey yourself. Heard you were all better. Thought I'd better come see for myself."
"You heard correct. Walking, talking proof – right in front of your eyes."
"That's all I wanted to know."
She flung herself next to him and gave him a shaky smile,
"So... are we all good?"
"Always… err what do you mean?"
"Us. I thought I'd wait until you were better before I came to see you about it."
"What about it? I mean... what do you want me to say?"
"Are we back to what we were?"
"I..."
All rational thoughts either of them had about being just friends were forgotten. Max grinned into Alec's mouth as his lips captured hers and she fell onto him on the couch. She pulled her head back,
"Are you sure you can handle this?"
"I don't think you have to worry about that Max, you think you can handle me?"
"Shut up! I meant about your leg and arm and well, all your wounds."
"Healed basically. Are you gonna be okay with this?"
"Me? Why?"
"Your burns."
"Healed."
She kissed him again briefly, this time Alec pulling away,
"I thought I'd lost you that night in the facility."
"I'm not that easy to get rid of."
Max rested her forehead against his, staring tenderly into his eyes. As their lips found one another again, Max sighed at how right it felt to be in his arms, the love of her life. And Alec shared that feeling, yet it was overshadowed by a nagging twinge in his head and heart that this was all wrong.
That he was starting a vicious cycle of sex and unhappiness all over again.
But, as he continued to kiss her, the thoughts subsided, his willpower gone.
Max was here.
With him.
Wanting him.
That was all that mattered.
*Right?*
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Flashback:
Alec stared transfixed on a patch of ground, as Max repeated over and over what she had just said. What he needed to know. Finally, she came to her senses and did the only thing she thought Alec would respond to. Straddling his lap, she grabbed him by the shirt and roped him in for a hot and heated kiss. She put all the passion she could muster into it, containing a moan as he pushed back against her, both lips devouring one another; mouths slightly opened; tongues exploring. It was rough and urgent and at the same time, sweet and adoring. Max opened her eyes to see him staring back at her under hooded lids. Eventually he pulled away, his customary smirk she had missed so much set in place,
"So you're not my sister?"
Max shook her head as Alec's grin widened,
"Thank god for that!"
They kissed again purposefully and this time Max slowly pulled back,
*I need him to remember, otherwise when he finally does, he mightn't want me. He'll think I took advantage of him!*
"Can you remember anything?"
"Nothing more than before."
She nodded, a depressed air surrounding her and Alec felt as though he were hit by a truck, just because he had disappointed her. He had a feeling it wasn't the first time he had.
"You cant remember anything at all? Even what happened that got you caught and sent back to Manticore?"
"No. I wish I could remember."
"Alec, it's okay. I wish I could forget!"
She hugged him and he returned her embrace, feeling safe for the first time he knew of. He had a long way to go, to be able to adjust to life out of regiments, manoeuvres and the like. He knew it would be a rough ride, but he just prayed that she'd always be there…
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Flashback:
Max opened her mouth to slip another sarcastic comment, but let it slide, rolling her eyes as she rode her bike out. She stopped outside, her chest snatching together like the most painful heartburn. She gasped, grabbing at her shirt, clawing it, while she bowled over in tenderness,
"Oh shit! Ow! What the fuck? Shit, what's wrong with me?"
She fell onto her knees and blinked away burning tears gathering in her eyes,
"Something's wrong."
She collapsed, her eyes twitching and tears streaming down her face,
"Alec."
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Flashback:
Max sighed happily as she snuggled against Alec's warm body. His eyelids flitted gently as he slept and she smiled, pulling at his tight sweater. He snapped his eyes open instantly,
"What?"
"Nothing."
"You woke me up for nothing?"
"Didn't mean to. How can I help it if we were designed to be light sleepers."
He kissed her forehead gently and she pulled herself closer to him, revelling in the warmth of their bodies pressed together.
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Flashback:
Max pushed the old wooden door open in to her dismal and now due to recent events, depressing apartment. Dazed, she headed for her bedroom, determined to pack her stuff and leave this city for a new beginning – before she got others she loved killed too.
Poison.
Her bedroom door was absent of its usual creak and a ghost of a smile played on Max's lips – Alec must've oiled it finally, she had constantly nagged him about that. She bit down on her lip, stopping the smile and stopping the tears, as she stepped into the room, a shriek escaping her.
Drawers partially open, clothes scattered randomly around. But that didn't matter. All of his stuff was gone.
All of Alec's stuff was gone.
Max swung her head around wildly, her eyes darting back and forth, finally resting on a folded card of paper on her pillow.
None of this made sense.
Alec was dead.
Alec's stuff was all gone.
Hands trembling, Max opened the card, reading the single word.
'Sorry.'
Alec was alive.
Alec was gone.
'Sorry.'
She had lost him.
Again.
'Sorry.'
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Flashback:
Joshua slowly hoisted his until then, forgotten, flag high into the air with the help of other transgenics. The flagpole stood high atop of the tallest building in TC – damn exposure or what ordinaries thought, this was necessary. Everyone stared up at it proudly, one by one drifting off into the night – eventually leaving Max standing alone, her eyes fixed on the symbolic flag.
Black. Red. White.
Secret. Blood. Freedom.
Dark. Death. Light.
Alec wheeled up next to her, causing her to shift and redirect her eyes to him,
"Hey."
"Hey."
"Now look what you've done."
He smiled gently at her, the flag flapping noisily above them – the wind still strong, but the rain had stopped some time ago. She glanced at it, before looking back at him,
"It wasn't me Alec."
"Yeah it was. Your speech tonight, it really drove home."
"You heard that?"
"Yeah."
"You followed me out of the hospital?"
"Yeah."
They stayed in the same spot, eyes turned up and glued to the flag, both silent. Max grinned slightly as Alec's strong hand reached out and grasped hers, enveloping it. She looked at him and he grinned faintly back at her, genuinely, as he entwined his fingers with hers.
"Alec?"
"Mmm?"
"How did you get up here?"
"Joshua came and got me."
"Oh. You should be resting."
They fell back into silence, Max breaking it again,
"Alec?"
"Mmm?"
"Does this mean you forgive me?"
"Nothing to forgive Maxie."
She snorted, but stopped as he gave her hand a gentle squeeze, grazing his lips over the back of it in the most tender display of emotions,
"Max?"
"Yeah?"
"What time is it?"
"It's 11.55."
She turned to him, eyes locking intensely and Alec smiled genuinely at her, his cuts and bruises still not disguising his dashingly gorgeous looks,
"Alec?"
"Mmm?"
"What a day it's been huh?"
"Probably the longest day of my life."
"Me too."
She chuckled lowly, leaning down to kiss him softly on the forehead, grateful they were standing here not arguing, not angry, just there, together.
"Max?"
"Yes Alec?"
"Happy Birthday."
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Flashback:
Making a low rumble in the back of his throat which she only usually heard during sex, Max fumbled with his belt, her teeth biting down on her lip in concentration. Alec pushed back a stray hair, which fell in her eye, stilling her hands to lean up and kiss her tenderly on the lips.
"What was that for?"
"Because I want you."
"No other reason?"
"Not right now."
He smiled at her, kissing her again, before removing his hands from hers to unbutton her top, then slide the material off her to puddle onto the floor.
*I love you Max*
His eyes fell shut as she feasted her mouth over his body, making a trail that was driving his wild. Alec reached for her, pulling her to his mouth again.
*Maybe I should just say it during sex, isn't that what ordinaries do. That could work - I could see her reaction. If its bad, then I can just say it was in the heat of the moment.*
*He's distracted - I don't like it. I don't think he wants me anymore, well at least not like he used to. I thought we'd moved past all this. Maybe I should just tell him I love him and battle down for the worst. God, ask me to kill a bad guy, no sweat. But telling my ex-boyfriend who I am having a casual sex deal which makes me unsure if I can call him my boy coz we're not like that, that I love him and I constantly chicken out. What a super-soldier I am. Fearless my ass.*
"You're awfully kissy today sir."
"Don't call me sir. And maybe I like kissing you."
"I thought that was something couples did more than well... whatever you call us."
*Call us a couple, please call us a couple!*
*Yeah, very subtle Max – I get it! We're not a couple, don't have to rub it in my face.*
Alec stood, easing her off him and redoing up his pants. Max looked up at him in alarm,
"What are you doing?"
"I really should finish up what I have to do here. This is only my lunchbreak from Jampony."
"Its my day off. Just ring in and say you have stuff to do here, Normal will understand."
"I have stuff to do."
"Stuff that doesn't include me. Right, I got it Alec, you're not so obvious way of telling me that you're not in the mood. That you don't want me. I get it."
"Max..."
She turned to leave, unlocking the door and opening it just a crack before he blurred to her, grabbing her wrist and pulling her into his embrace,
"Why would you ever think I don't want you?"
*This is it Max, just say it. Tell him how you feel.*
*There's no turning back now Alec. Three words, so simple. I love yo...*
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To be continued...
Author's Note:
I know I'm a bitch for putting all these flashbacks in instead of letting you know what's to come. But be patient, there was a point. And anyways, its interesting to see how far these two have come along over my five stories of Max and Alec.