Light at the End
A/N: Set between episodes six and seven. At the beginning of seven Toboe mentions they were in the tunnel for a long time, so I thought I'd fill a bit of that space. ^_^ Warnings: well, there's a little bit of angst, a smidgen of sap, the barest hint of shounen ai if you're really looking for it, and, um. it's not really much of anything, to be honest. It's just a fic, with some introspection and nothing resembling a plot. Disclaimers: Tsume, Kiba, Toboe and Hige, as well as everyone else who gets a brief reference belong to. me? Please? * pouts * Well, fine, they aren't, but I'm borrowing them and I may not return them on the stamped date.
The tunnel seemed to go on forever. What had started as a relatively clean trickle of water and a supply of fresh water had spread cross the floor of the tunnel to form a slurry like layer that was gradually rising, making each step heavier and higher than the last. Tsume found himself unable to keep his mind on the task at hand - that is, walking - and he couldn't stop thinking about the pack back on the island.
Back in the city, before he'd even met Kiba, Toboe had accused him of acting as though he were too good for everyone else and sticking to human kind. Tsume could admit that he did act as though he were apart, and, to be entirely honest, above, other people, both human and wolf. Life was easier that way. Kiba was a lone wolf, but Tsume was simply alone.
As the murky water splashed and gurgled around the paws of the wolves and Toboe darted from one to another to check everyone was as happy as he was Tsume found himself watching the pup. Toboe had cleaned his wound after the ancient machine attacked them. No matter how hard Tsume tried, he just couldn't picture any of the other pack doing that for each other.
Tsume wasn't entirely certain how he felt about this. He didn't think of the other wolves as a pack, but they acted more like he imagined a pack ought to than the real pack had. He shook his head, confused.
"You look so pensive," Toboe practically chirped, shocking Tsume out of his reverie.
"It's nothing, nothing," Tsume said quickly. Toboe frowned at him, but didn't object.
The wolves walked in silence for a bit and Tsume's mind turned back to the city they'd just left. Zari's pack had been so maltreated and dejected that Tsume found his mind rebelling against the idea that they even were a pack. Of the four seeking Paradise, he was perhaps the only one who could understand Zari's position. Sometimes you had to sacrifice individuals for the well being of the group, even if the group wasn't particularly well. In many ways it was a notch up from stealing, but Tsume's pride would never have allowed him to sink to the menial work of dogs.
His stomach growled and he shot Hige an angry glance. Toboe stopped just in front of him to ask, again, whether he was okay and Tsume was too distracted glowering to realise he had to stop as well. The two wolves toppled into the sludge with a flurry of startled yelps.
"I'm sorry," Toboe apologised profusely as Tsume tried to untangle their legs. "I didn't mean to. I'm so sorry."
Tsume silenced him with a curt wave. "Are you okay?" he asked awkwardly. Tsume had managed to scramble to his feet but Toboe was still sitting in the muck, eyes wide.
"I'm tired," Toboe muttered, looking embarrassed. "Can. can we rest? Just for a short while?" He glanced back at Kiba, who was leaning heavily on the wall during this brief interlude.
Tsume glanced at the dreamer as well and realised that he'd been so wrapped up in his musings he hadn't noticed that he was the only one still up to walking. Even Hige was looking footsore, though he wasn't as exhausted as the still hungry others. He felt oddly responsible for the others, even though he had finally accepted that Kiba was their leader.
Tsume pulled Toboe out of the muck and moved to lean against one of the walls. Toboe held on to his hand and leant against him. Tsume frowned at the kid but rested a hand on his shoulder, keeping him balanced and secure. Toboe seemed to appreciate the gesture.
Kiba was opposite them, expression carefully arranged to mask the pain he was in. Tsume allowed himself a little arrogance at the notion that Toboe had licked his wounds, while he'd only bound and bandaged Kiba's. He held the boy a little closer. Tsume began to groom the pup with his fingers, teasing the knots out of his hair and unmatting it gently.
Hige sat in the muck, uncaring, resting his feet. A steady drip-plip was the only sound echoing through the tunnel. It was dark and cold and Hige shivered, curling up. He wondered if Tsume was really aware of what he was doing, and whether he'd get the same treatment. Tsume seemed to have a soft spot for the pup.
"How long do you suppose this tunnel is?" Toboe asked in the leaden silence.
"How long is a piece of string?" Tsume replied immediately. Toboe tilted his face up to stare at him.
"I don't understand," he said in pitiful confusion. Tsume shook his head.
"I wonder how long we've been walking," Hige asked rhetorically. "It must have been at least two days. No food, no fresh water, no sleep, no moon."
"Thank you for reminding the rest of us," Kiba growled. "Perhaps we ought to remind you that you finished of food meant for the four of us?"
"You walked off, Tsume walked off, Toboe walked off. What was I suppose to do, leave it to waste?"
"You could have saved us some," Toboe moaned.
"Haven't we already had this argument?" Tsume spoke firmly, his meaning clear. The others fell silent. "We're all hungry, we're all tired, we're all sick of this stupid tunnel. There's nothing we can do about it except keep walking. The more we complain about it the harder it will get, but there isn't a choice any more. We all committed ourselves."
"Yes, we did." Hige raised an eyebrow at the older wolf. "I had wondered whether you would," he said softly.
"You spent so long trying to convince me that paradise didn't exist," Kiba pointed out. "You asked me why I believed in it. Perhaps I should be asking you why you're here, if you're so doubtful."
Tsume stared from one watching face to another. It was true, he was doubtful. Kiba's faith was convincing, but Tsume had always wanted proof before making any decision. So why was he looking for a Paradise that's existence was dubious at most? He'd left the city because it wasn't safe and because he had no reason to stay. Of that he was certain. Then he'd stuck around because Toboe kept following him when he tried to leave and getting himself in trouble. There had been no way he would stay in a city where the wolves acted as dogs, either, but he found it hard to understand why he'd taken the decision to join the others in the tunnel to Paradise.
"Tsume?" Toboe nuzzled him nervously. "You're not offended, are you? We're grateful that you are here, really."
Staring down at those wide eyes Tsume had something akin to a revelation. "It's because Zari quit," he realised aloud. "He quit on the idea of Paradise and found himself eking out an existence where the best thing he could do for his pack was treat them like dogs. I don't like quitters."
"It's not quitting if you never commit to the idea in the first place," Hige told him, expressing one of his own personal philosophies.
Tsume shook his head. "Zari quit. He quit on Paradise and he quit on being a wolf. Until I saw those wolves I hadn't realised the two were so entwined. The way he treated that pack. he treated them like a human would treat other humans. Like I treated the humans."
"Hypocrite," Kiba snarled, amused but simultaneously angered by Tsume's attitude.
Tsume disentangled himself from Toboe and walked over. He towered over the white wolf, teeth bared. Kiba tried to straighten up to face him but pain flared through his ribs and he slumped to the floor of the tunnel. Tsume loomed over him, exerting his authority.
"Never call me that," Tsume growled, voice low and threatening. "Have I treated you as Zari treated his wolves? Have I treated you as I treated the humans?"
"I don't know what you're getting at," Kiba said stubbornly.
"That was not the way to treat your pack," Tsume told him, muzzle to muzzle. "I don't know how long you've been a 'lone wolf', but there are rules outside of the city as well. Rules about how we respect and help one another. I keep those rules, and God help you if you should break them like Zari did."
Kiba's eyes met Tsume's. "I didn't know you thought of us as pack," he said quietly. It was the closest he would come to an apology, and it shocked Tsume. He hadn't known that he thought of the others as pack either.
There was a noise behind him. Toboe nosed Tsume out of the way, pressing his head to the older wolf's flank in an expression of appreciation at his words as he moved towards Kiba. Tsume moved so that Toboe could check Kiba's injuries. Hige hauled himself out of the sludge to join the tight group, sitting against the wall and steadying Kiba while Toboe's nimble fingers explored under the makeshift poultices.
"We need to get out of here soon," Toboe said quietly. "These need replacing and-"
"We all need to rest and eat," Tsume finished for him. "I know, chibi. All we can do is hope the end is closer than the start. Can you walk?" he addressed Kiba, who nodded stoically.
Tsume and Toboe helped Kiba to his feet, but the three made no move to keep going. Despair was beginning to touch the group. Tsume brushed Toboe's hair, enjoying the silky fine texture of it, as he stared up the shadowy tunnel. Kiba's breathing was harsh in his ear. It might be a matter of days, it might be a matter of hours, before they couldn't go on. It might be a matter of minutes.
"Um." Hige was still sitting on the floor. Toboe reached down to help him up, but he ignored the puppy. "I think I have some good news," Hige said hesitantly.
Kiba frowned at him. "It will have to be very good," he warned.
"I think we're getting close to the end of the tunnel," Hige said. He squirmed under the weight of six expectant eyes, full of hope and exhaustion and the potential for a great deal of anger is Hige turned out to be wrong. He took a deep breath and plunged ahead, "there's a light a the end of the tunnel, right? And you can't see without light, right? It ought to be dark down here, a long way underground, but I can see the three of you clearly. So, possibly, the end is close."
Toboe pounced on him, cuddling him close and nuzzling his tousled fur. "You're right! You're so right! Amazing Hige! Wonderful Hige!"
Tsume pulled Toboe away from Hige, who grinned gratefully at the older wolf and scrambled breathlessly to his feet. Kiba had pulled away and already started off down the tunnel at a determined pace. The end was in sight, or the sight at the end, whichever way you wanted to look at it.
Ttfn! Let me know what you think!
A/N: Set between episodes six and seven. At the beginning of seven Toboe mentions they were in the tunnel for a long time, so I thought I'd fill a bit of that space. ^_^ Warnings: well, there's a little bit of angst, a smidgen of sap, the barest hint of shounen ai if you're really looking for it, and, um. it's not really much of anything, to be honest. It's just a fic, with some introspection and nothing resembling a plot. Disclaimers: Tsume, Kiba, Toboe and Hige, as well as everyone else who gets a brief reference belong to. me? Please? * pouts * Well, fine, they aren't, but I'm borrowing them and I may not return them on the stamped date.
The tunnel seemed to go on forever. What had started as a relatively clean trickle of water and a supply of fresh water had spread cross the floor of the tunnel to form a slurry like layer that was gradually rising, making each step heavier and higher than the last. Tsume found himself unable to keep his mind on the task at hand - that is, walking - and he couldn't stop thinking about the pack back on the island.
Back in the city, before he'd even met Kiba, Toboe had accused him of acting as though he were too good for everyone else and sticking to human kind. Tsume could admit that he did act as though he were apart, and, to be entirely honest, above, other people, both human and wolf. Life was easier that way. Kiba was a lone wolf, but Tsume was simply alone.
As the murky water splashed and gurgled around the paws of the wolves and Toboe darted from one to another to check everyone was as happy as he was Tsume found himself watching the pup. Toboe had cleaned his wound after the ancient machine attacked them. No matter how hard Tsume tried, he just couldn't picture any of the other pack doing that for each other.
Tsume wasn't entirely certain how he felt about this. He didn't think of the other wolves as a pack, but they acted more like he imagined a pack ought to than the real pack had. He shook his head, confused.
"You look so pensive," Toboe practically chirped, shocking Tsume out of his reverie.
"It's nothing, nothing," Tsume said quickly. Toboe frowned at him, but didn't object.
The wolves walked in silence for a bit and Tsume's mind turned back to the city they'd just left. Zari's pack had been so maltreated and dejected that Tsume found his mind rebelling against the idea that they even were a pack. Of the four seeking Paradise, he was perhaps the only one who could understand Zari's position. Sometimes you had to sacrifice individuals for the well being of the group, even if the group wasn't particularly well. In many ways it was a notch up from stealing, but Tsume's pride would never have allowed him to sink to the menial work of dogs.
His stomach growled and he shot Hige an angry glance. Toboe stopped just in front of him to ask, again, whether he was okay and Tsume was too distracted glowering to realise he had to stop as well. The two wolves toppled into the sludge with a flurry of startled yelps.
"I'm sorry," Toboe apologised profusely as Tsume tried to untangle their legs. "I didn't mean to. I'm so sorry."
Tsume silenced him with a curt wave. "Are you okay?" he asked awkwardly. Tsume had managed to scramble to his feet but Toboe was still sitting in the muck, eyes wide.
"I'm tired," Toboe muttered, looking embarrassed. "Can. can we rest? Just for a short while?" He glanced back at Kiba, who was leaning heavily on the wall during this brief interlude.
Tsume glanced at the dreamer as well and realised that he'd been so wrapped up in his musings he hadn't noticed that he was the only one still up to walking. Even Hige was looking footsore, though he wasn't as exhausted as the still hungry others. He felt oddly responsible for the others, even though he had finally accepted that Kiba was their leader.
Tsume pulled Toboe out of the muck and moved to lean against one of the walls. Toboe held on to his hand and leant against him. Tsume frowned at the kid but rested a hand on his shoulder, keeping him balanced and secure. Toboe seemed to appreciate the gesture.
Kiba was opposite them, expression carefully arranged to mask the pain he was in. Tsume allowed himself a little arrogance at the notion that Toboe had licked his wounds, while he'd only bound and bandaged Kiba's. He held the boy a little closer. Tsume began to groom the pup with his fingers, teasing the knots out of his hair and unmatting it gently.
Hige sat in the muck, uncaring, resting his feet. A steady drip-plip was the only sound echoing through the tunnel. It was dark and cold and Hige shivered, curling up. He wondered if Tsume was really aware of what he was doing, and whether he'd get the same treatment. Tsume seemed to have a soft spot for the pup.
"How long do you suppose this tunnel is?" Toboe asked in the leaden silence.
"How long is a piece of string?" Tsume replied immediately. Toboe tilted his face up to stare at him.
"I don't understand," he said in pitiful confusion. Tsume shook his head.
"I wonder how long we've been walking," Hige asked rhetorically. "It must have been at least two days. No food, no fresh water, no sleep, no moon."
"Thank you for reminding the rest of us," Kiba growled. "Perhaps we ought to remind you that you finished of food meant for the four of us?"
"You walked off, Tsume walked off, Toboe walked off. What was I suppose to do, leave it to waste?"
"You could have saved us some," Toboe moaned.
"Haven't we already had this argument?" Tsume spoke firmly, his meaning clear. The others fell silent. "We're all hungry, we're all tired, we're all sick of this stupid tunnel. There's nothing we can do about it except keep walking. The more we complain about it the harder it will get, but there isn't a choice any more. We all committed ourselves."
"Yes, we did." Hige raised an eyebrow at the older wolf. "I had wondered whether you would," he said softly.
"You spent so long trying to convince me that paradise didn't exist," Kiba pointed out. "You asked me why I believed in it. Perhaps I should be asking you why you're here, if you're so doubtful."
Tsume stared from one watching face to another. It was true, he was doubtful. Kiba's faith was convincing, but Tsume had always wanted proof before making any decision. So why was he looking for a Paradise that's existence was dubious at most? He'd left the city because it wasn't safe and because he had no reason to stay. Of that he was certain. Then he'd stuck around because Toboe kept following him when he tried to leave and getting himself in trouble. There had been no way he would stay in a city where the wolves acted as dogs, either, but he found it hard to understand why he'd taken the decision to join the others in the tunnel to Paradise.
"Tsume?" Toboe nuzzled him nervously. "You're not offended, are you? We're grateful that you are here, really."
Staring down at those wide eyes Tsume had something akin to a revelation. "It's because Zari quit," he realised aloud. "He quit on the idea of Paradise and found himself eking out an existence where the best thing he could do for his pack was treat them like dogs. I don't like quitters."
"It's not quitting if you never commit to the idea in the first place," Hige told him, expressing one of his own personal philosophies.
Tsume shook his head. "Zari quit. He quit on Paradise and he quit on being a wolf. Until I saw those wolves I hadn't realised the two were so entwined. The way he treated that pack. he treated them like a human would treat other humans. Like I treated the humans."
"Hypocrite," Kiba snarled, amused but simultaneously angered by Tsume's attitude.
Tsume disentangled himself from Toboe and walked over. He towered over the white wolf, teeth bared. Kiba tried to straighten up to face him but pain flared through his ribs and he slumped to the floor of the tunnel. Tsume loomed over him, exerting his authority.
"Never call me that," Tsume growled, voice low and threatening. "Have I treated you as Zari treated his wolves? Have I treated you as I treated the humans?"
"I don't know what you're getting at," Kiba said stubbornly.
"That was not the way to treat your pack," Tsume told him, muzzle to muzzle. "I don't know how long you've been a 'lone wolf', but there are rules outside of the city as well. Rules about how we respect and help one another. I keep those rules, and God help you if you should break them like Zari did."
Kiba's eyes met Tsume's. "I didn't know you thought of us as pack," he said quietly. It was the closest he would come to an apology, and it shocked Tsume. He hadn't known that he thought of the others as pack either.
There was a noise behind him. Toboe nosed Tsume out of the way, pressing his head to the older wolf's flank in an expression of appreciation at his words as he moved towards Kiba. Tsume moved so that Toboe could check Kiba's injuries. Hige hauled himself out of the sludge to join the tight group, sitting against the wall and steadying Kiba while Toboe's nimble fingers explored under the makeshift poultices.
"We need to get out of here soon," Toboe said quietly. "These need replacing and-"
"We all need to rest and eat," Tsume finished for him. "I know, chibi. All we can do is hope the end is closer than the start. Can you walk?" he addressed Kiba, who nodded stoically.
Tsume and Toboe helped Kiba to his feet, but the three made no move to keep going. Despair was beginning to touch the group. Tsume brushed Toboe's hair, enjoying the silky fine texture of it, as he stared up the shadowy tunnel. Kiba's breathing was harsh in his ear. It might be a matter of days, it might be a matter of hours, before they couldn't go on. It might be a matter of minutes.
"Um." Hige was still sitting on the floor. Toboe reached down to help him up, but he ignored the puppy. "I think I have some good news," Hige said hesitantly.
Kiba frowned at him. "It will have to be very good," he warned.
"I think we're getting close to the end of the tunnel," Hige said. He squirmed under the weight of six expectant eyes, full of hope and exhaustion and the potential for a great deal of anger is Hige turned out to be wrong. He took a deep breath and plunged ahead, "there's a light a the end of the tunnel, right? And you can't see without light, right? It ought to be dark down here, a long way underground, but I can see the three of you clearly. So, possibly, the end is close."
Toboe pounced on him, cuddling him close and nuzzling his tousled fur. "You're right! You're so right! Amazing Hige! Wonderful Hige!"
Tsume pulled Toboe away from Hige, who grinned gratefully at the older wolf and scrambled breathlessly to his feet. Kiba had pulled away and already started off down the tunnel at a determined pace. The end was in sight, or the sight at the end, whichever way you wanted to look at it.
Ttfn! Let me know what you think!