Passing Notes in Potions

By: Realmi, Idiosyncrasy, with help from Kat.

Note #2:

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       Authors' Notes: More and more fun in the world of randomness.

       Syn's writing

          Realmi's writing

          Kat's writing (it's bigger and bolder then everyone else's)

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       Severus Snape was sitting in front of Reamli; who was absent mindedly looking out the window. Severus cleared with throat and asked slowly, "Do you know why I asked you to stay after class?"

       "Many reasons flashed through my mind, but all of them you don't know about… yet," Realmi said impishly. Snape swore that if she didn't happen to be a Slytherin, he would have given her a detention.

       "Umm… I need to set a few things straight…"

       "Like what?" Realmi asked, the mad tinkle of interest flashed through her eyes.

       "For one thing, I'm not attracted to you, I never will be, and I never was. Secondly, you should be paying attention in my class instead of writing stories," Realmi looked puzzled by this. Snape just waved his hand for her to go and slumped into his desk chair. Realmi just left, scratching her head. Severus looked onto his desk and found a new noteish looking piece of parchment, this time; it was folded neatly and clearly labeled "Severus Snape."

        Curiosity made him pick it up and read the contents, which were…

          One day Realmi was cleaning out her part of the dormitory when she discovered the cage that normally held Snape was empty! "Oh no!" she cried and immediately began to panic. "Sevikins! Where are you?"

          There was no reply and she began to tear apart the place in a crazy frenzy, tossing random objects out of the way. But Snape was no where to be found.

          Finally, after several hours of zealous screaming and searching, Realmi found a ransom note. It read, 'Your beloved Severus is being held prisoner in the Forest Of Ridiculously Hazardous Foods! Unless you want him to Drown in the Gelatin Swamps or die from eating poisonous tofu, you will come to the Forest without your magic flying loopy straw.'

          Realmi fumed and went into her closet and grabbed her giant spatula and magic flying loopy straw. She then opened her window flew to the Ravenclaw tower. "SYN!" She yelled, throwing great blobs of Green Bean Pudding at Syn's window.

          "What?!" Syn asked, opening her window. A glob of pudding hit her in the face "You shank I just washed my hair with Herbal Essences!"

          Realmi ignored her. "My Severus is gone, gone, GONE!" she looked like she was about to loose it so Syn read the ransom note and grabbed her magical un-loopy straw and they flew off to the Forest of Ridiculously Hazardous Foods where they found tress filled with delicious looking food…with the occasional crap food. "Ew, sticky!' said Realmi.

          Syn stepped into a gooey brown messed that turned out to be chocolate quicksand! "Augh!" Syn yelled. "I'm sinking!" Realmi was laughing her head off, then she fell into the chocolate too. "What are we gonna do!? What are we gonna do!? What are we gonna do!? What are we gonna do!?" Syn asked, screaming her bloody head off, which caused the noise sensitive quicksand to drag them further  into the messy darkness.

          Realmi reached into her bottomless bag named Mustafa and grabbed some whipped cream. She then began to eat her way out of the quick sand.

          But then she realized it wasn't chocolate after all, it was normal quicksand, and Syn began screaming again. Just then, Prof. McGonagall swooped down from a candy cane tree and threw them a rope. "Hang on!" she yelled, but Realmi and Syn were skeptical.

          "Why are you rescuing US!?" they asked together.

          Prof. McGonagall laughed evilly, and the last of her hair fell out. "So you can do Transfiguration homework!"

          "Ooh, tough dicision!" said Syn. "Death or Transfiguration? Death or Transfiguration? Death or Transfiguration? Death or Transfiguration? Tough, tough, tough, tough," and she kept repeating "tough" until she went crazy.

          Then, Prof. McGonagall changed her mind and said, "I was just kidding! You have an A in my class now, I don't hate you." Syn and Realmi climbed the rope and met face-to-face with the mentally-ill bald teacher. "HA! I fooled you! I knew my stunning cleverness would outsmart you!" at that moment McGonagall took out a magic chicken! The very same magic chicken that Kat gave Realmi as a wedding gift when she married Snape!

      It was inevitably the end of Realmi and Syn until…LORD VOLDERMORT CAME FLYING DOWN ON A PIANO! Now, he was the evil king of the demented and rabid villains.

      "You will not kill Realmi!" he roared, banging on his piano of evil.

          "Why not?" asked Mc Gonagall, still clutching onto Realmi's Magic Chicken.

          "Because I plan on making her sing the soprano part of 'It Had To Be You' and use the shrill sound of her voice to take over the world!"

          "But I want to make them do homework!" McGonagall argued.

          "WORLD DOMINATION!"

          "HOMEWORK!" Realmi and Syn took this time to steal back the Magic Chicken and sneak away. They were soon very much tired, very much hungry (they didn't trust the food in this forest), and very much lost.

          "Let's look for Sev in an hour, I'm tired!" whined Syn.

          "NO!" Realmi whined back. "He's close! I can feel it!"  As she finished her last word, a loud, pained howl came from somewhere nearby in the bush. "That's Snape!" said Realmi but Syn interrupted her.

          "Don't be so dumb! Snape doesn't sound like a rabid potions teacher…wait…potions…rabid...?"

          "SEVI!" realmi beamed running towards his pained screams. She saw a liquorish whip monster attacking her man. This triggered Realmi's "overprotective fangirl powers" and she bit the monster. Syn, who was tugging along behind carrying all the stuff (spatula, magic flying loopy straw, magic un-loopy straw, magic chicken…)  saw the monster and screamed, again. Soon the monster was no more because Realmi had eaten it and soon after that, Sev was free! However, Lord Voldermort was back!

          With an extremely evil look on his face (think raccoon on pixie stick dust), he jumped on his piano bench and belted out a hypnotizing tune. Realmi, SYn, and Snape started singing "Who Has Seen The Wind" (which, in Realmi's own words, the evilest song known to Earth). Their death would soon meet them as their ears started to shrivel up. In a last attempt to save herself, her friend, and her obsession, Realmi took out her magic flying loopy straw and turned her magic chicken into a real chicken. The chicken jumped on Voldermort and pecked her eyeballs out, which emited steam and lava.

      "I HAVE SAVED THE DAY!" Realmi exclaimed, however, Severus and Syn couldn't congratulate her because they had both passed out due to the sight of lava. Realmi's chicken had run away in the chaos and Realmi never saw it again, which was sad. However, she had saved Sevi and Syn, so that was good.

-fin!-

          Severus (the real one) had to stop himself from almost smiling. He had to admit, it was funny. Stupid, but funny nonetheless. Kat (another one of the students in my house) is in on this too? He thought, slightly disturbed. He filed it with the other note and went off to his chambers.  

***End Note#2***

Endnote: expect about three updates a week: Syn, Kat, and I write this story when we are supposed to be working on Algebra.