BATMAN: CRIME, CRIME EVERYWHERE
By Bruce Wayne
DISCLAIMER: Most of the characters portrayed in this story are copyright by DC Comics, an AOL/Time/Warner company. They are used without permission for entertainment without profit by the author.
CHAPTER 3 - THE VILLIANS MEET
The Benbow Tavern was located in the Midtown section of Gotham City, not very far from downtown. The large building contained a busy bar on the first floor and had lofts on the upper three stories.
In one of those lofts, on the top floor, a strange and mysterious meeting was starting to take place.
Nine oddly dressed men were talking around a table in the center of the room. Three of the men wore black turtleneck shirts and black derby's on their heads. Three others wore red short-sleeve shirts with blue jeans. The remaining three wore green short-sleeve shirts and black pants. They all had the look of hardened criminals.
Suddenly, a whirlwind of motion raced into the room. It was woman dressed in a tightfitting red, white and black harlequin outfit. Her face was covered in white makeup with a black mask around her eyes.
She went over to the men seated at the table. Smiling broadly, she took the hand of one of the henchmen and shook it while saying, "Harley Quinn, pleased to meetcha!"
A very loud laugh was heard coming from outside the room. It seemed to be coming closer.
Harley smiled even more broadly and stood up straight, addressing the men. "A-a-a-hem!" she cleared her throat and spoke in a loud voice, "Look alive, wage slaves! Preeeesenting - the Caliph of Clowns, that Mogul of Montebanks, the Clown Prince of Crime - the One and Only - JOKER!!"
As if on a prearranged cue, the homicidal maniac walked into the room as if he were walking onto a stage. He laughed as if someone has just told him an amusing story.
The very tall and thin man wore a purple suit with a green shirt and a black string tie. His facial features were a combination of ghastly and comical. He had green hair, a white face, and had red lips upturned in a permanent smile. The terrible thing was -- he wasn't wearing any makeup.
Another odd sound could be heard coming from the corridor outside the room. It sounded similar to a duck call. "Squack, quack, squack." Next to enter the room was the diabolical Penguin.
The Penguin's appearance was almost the opposite of the Joker. The Penguin was short and round. He had a long, pointed nose and carried an umbrella. He wore a black tuxedo with a monocole and was smoking a cigarette in a long holder.
The Penguin, whose real name was Oswald Cobblepot, was known for his arsenal of different types of umbrellas. Some were guns. Others emitted jets of knockout gas. They could also contain swords or even parachutes.
Another loud laugh was heard. This one was high-pitched and filled with menacing mirth. The Riddler was the next super-criminal to waltz into the room, giggling to himself for some unknown reason.
The Riddler was now dressed in a green, tightfitting outfit that had black question marks all over it.
A podium was dragged out of a of corner and positioned at the front of the room. The henchman also moved the table and arranged the chairs to face the podium. The Joker marched slowly and smartly to stand behind the dias. He looked seriously into the face of everyone in the room, like a general inspecting his troops.
In a loud and clear voice he began, "Friends, Romans, lend me your ears!"
"YOU TELL'EM MISTAH J!!" Harley yelled out. She nudged the henchman next to her with her elbow and asked in a low voice, "Isn't my puddin' poetic?"
The Joker cocked his head and glared at Harley Quinn.
Harley quickly looked to the henchman on the other side of her. "Who said that!? Did you say that?!"
The man looked at her dumbfounded, unsure of what to say.
The Joker kept his eyes on Harley, seemingly staring a hole through her.
Harley replied to the glare by covering her mouth with her hand.
The Clown Prince of Crime cleared his throat and started his speech again, "Friends, Roooomans, lend me your ears! ...
This time Harley threw a couple of phony, plastic, novelty ears at him.
The Joker tried to keep his temper under control. He sighed heavily and then continued. "With us joining forces, there is nothing to stop us. Not even Batman!" He laughed. "There are too many of us. If we stick together, there is no possible way Batman can defeat us. We considerably outnumber the Bat-Circus of trapeze artists."
The Penguin interrupted the speech, "Cut to the chase, Mister Joker!"
"Let him talk, Penguin!" the Riddler sneered.
The Joker raised his hands and his voice, "Friends, please." He laughed. "Why should we fight amongst ourselves? Together we are unbeatable!"
"UNBEATABLE!" Harley echoed loudly as she punched her fist into the air.
The Joker looked over both of his shoulders. "Is there an echo in here?" He laughed again. "We will defeat the Fatman and become wealthy!"
"WEALTHY!" yelled Harley happily.
The Joker reached into the waistband of his pants and withdrew a very long barrelled handgun. Everyone in the room immediately dived to the floor.
He laughed at the site of all his colleagues cowering on the floor, most of them covering their heads with their arms.
The Joker placed the gun on the podium and warned, "I got it right here in easy reach, Harl."
The criminals climbed back into their chairs. The infamous villian continued with his speech, "As I was sayin' before I was rudely interrupted ..." He glared at Harley again. "... We will defeat the Masked Hodads and make the Gotham Diamond District are very own playground. We will all become wealthy beyond our dreams!" He laughed hysterically at some other insane thought that ran through his head.
The other criminals in the room applauded. Always the ever consummate ham, the Joker took a deep bow.
The Penguin asked, "What is our next move, Mr. Joker?"
"Riddler and I are going to the Gotham City main library, just a short distance from here, and check out a book." the Joker answered.
Another question came from the Penguin, "What's the big deal? Why don't we just send one of our henchmen to get the book?"
The Joker laughed and looked around the room. "Does anyone here have a library card, hmmmm? No! I didn't think so! Besides, Pengy, the book is kept in a special vault. Only a few people in Gotham City are even allowed to look at this particular book and even they are not allowed to check it out of the library. In the wrong hands -- that means US! -- it's a very dangerous book. When we read the book and follow the directions, we will be able to navigate our way secretly throughout the entire Diamond District without anyone spotting us!" He ended his explanation with another laugh.
Riddler remarked, "Let's go before the library closes."
Joker laughed. "Oh, like that would stop us anyway?! Right you are, Mr. Riddler. Let's go, Harl, I'm takin' you out for some entertainment!"
"Awww, puddin, you're too nice to me," Harley purred.
To be continued ...
By Bruce Wayne
DISCLAIMER: Most of the characters portrayed in this story are copyright by DC Comics, an AOL/Time/Warner company. They are used without permission for entertainment without profit by the author.
CHAPTER 3 - THE VILLIANS MEET
The Benbow Tavern was located in the Midtown section of Gotham City, not very far from downtown. The large building contained a busy bar on the first floor and had lofts on the upper three stories.
In one of those lofts, on the top floor, a strange and mysterious meeting was starting to take place.
Nine oddly dressed men were talking around a table in the center of the room. Three of the men wore black turtleneck shirts and black derby's on their heads. Three others wore red short-sleeve shirts with blue jeans. The remaining three wore green short-sleeve shirts and black pants. They all had the look of hardened criminals.
Suddenly, a whirlwind of motion raced into the room. It was woman dressed in a tightfitting red, white and black harlequin outfit. Her face was covered in white makeup with a black mask around her eyes.
She went over to the men seated at the table. Smiling broadly, she took the hand of one of the henchmen and shook it while saying, "Harley Quinn, pleased to meetcha!"
A very loud laugh was heard coming from outside the room. It seemed to be coming closer.
Harley smiled even more broadly and stood up straight, addressing the men. "A-a-a-hem!" she cleared her throat and spoke in a loud voice, "Look alive, wage slaves! Preeeesenting - the Caliph of Clowns, that Mogul of Montebanks, the Clown Prince of Crime - the One and Only - JOKER!!"
As if on a prearranged cue, the homicidal maniac walked into the room as if he were walking onto a stage. He laughed as if someone has just told him an amusing story.
The very tall and thin man wore a purple suit with a green shirt and a black string tie. His facial features were a combination of ghastly and comical. He had green hair, a white face, and had red lips upturned in a permanent smile. The terrible thing was -- he wasn't wearing any makeup.
Another odd sound could be heard coming from the corridor outside the room. It sounded similar to a duck call. "Squack, quack, squack." Next to enter the room was the diabolical Penguin.
The Penguin's appearance was almost the opposite of the Joker. The Penguin was short and round. He had a long, pointed nose and carried an umbrella. He wore a black tuxedo with a monocole and was smoking a cigarette in a long holder.
The Penguin, whose real name was Oswald Cobblepot, was known for his arsenal of different types of umbrellas. Some were guns. Others emitted jets of knockout gas. They could also contain swords or even parachutes.
Another loud laugh was heard. This one was high-pitched and filled with menacing mirth. The Riddler was the next super-criminal to waltz into the room, giggling to himself for some unknown reason.
The Riddler was now dressed in a green, tightfitting outfit that had black question marks all over it.
A podium was dragged out of a of corner and positioned at the front of the room. The henchman also moved the table and arranged the chairs to face the podium. The Joker marched slowly and smartly to stand behind the dias. He looked seriously into the face of everyone in the room, like a general inspecting his troops.
In a loud and clear voice he began, "Friends, Romans, lend me your ears!"
"YOU TELL'EM MISTAH J!!" Harley yelled out. She nudged the henchman next to her with her elbow and asked in a low voice, "Isn't my puddin' poetic?"
The Joker cocked his head and glared at Harley Quinn.
Harley quickly looked to the henchman on the other side of her. "Who said that!? Did you say that?!"
The man looked at her dumbfounded, unsure of what to say.
The Joker kept his eyes on Harley, seemingly staring a hole through her.
Harley replied to the glare by covering her mouth with her hand.
The Clown Prince of Crime cleared his throat and started his speech again, "Friends, Roooomans, lend me your ears! ...
This time Harley threw a couple of phony, plastic, novelty ears at him.
The Joker tried to keep his temper under control. He sighed heavily and then continued. "With us joining forces, there is nothing to stop us. Not even Batman!" He laughed. "There are too many of us. If we stick together, there is no possible way Batman can defeat us. We considerably outnumber the Bat-Circus of trapeze artists."
The Penguin interrupted the speech, "Cut to the chase, Mister Joker!"
"Let him talk, Penguin!" the Riddler sneered.
The Joker raised his hands and his voice, "Friends, please." He laughed. "Why should we fight amongst ourselves? Together we are unbeatable!"
"UNBEATABLE!" Harley echoed loudly as she punched her fist into the air.
The Joker looked over both of his shoulders. "Is there an echo in here?" He laughed again. "We will defeat the Fatman and become wealthy!"
"WEALTHY!" yelled Harley happily.
The Joker reached into the waistband of his pants and withdrew a very long barrelled handgun. Everyone in the room immediately dived to the floor.
He laughed at the site of all his colleagues cowering on the floor, most of them covering their heads with their arms.
The Joker placed the gun on the podium and warned, "I got it right here in easy reach, Harl."
The criminals climbed back into their chairs. The infamous villian continued with his speech, "As I was sayin' before I was rudely interrupted ..." He glared at Harley again. "... We will defeat the Masked Hodads and make the Gotham Diamond District are very own playground. We will all become wealthy beyond our dreams!" He laughed hysterically at some other insane thought that ran through his head.
The other criminals in the room applauded. Always the ever consummate ham, the Joker took a deep bow.
The Penguin asked, "What is our next move, Mr. Joker?"
"Riddler and I are going to the Gotham City main library, just a short distance from here, and check out a book." the Joker answered.
Another question came from the Penguin, "What's the big deal? Why don't we just send one of our henchmen to get the book?"
The Joker laughed and looked around the room. "Does anyone here have a library card, hmmmm? No! I didn't think so! Besides, Pengy, the book is kept in a special vault. Only a few people in Gotham City are even allowed to look at this particular book and even they are not allowed to check it out of the library. In the wrong hands -- that means US! -- it's a very dangerous book. When we read the book and follow the directions, we will be able to navigate our way secretly throughout the entire Diamond District without anyone spotting us!" He ended his explanation with another laugh.
Riddler remarked, "Let's go before the library closes."
Joker laughed. "Oh, like that would stop us anyway?! Right you are, Mr. Riddler. Let's go, Harl, I'm takin' you out for some entertainment!"
"Awww, puddin, you're too nice to me," Harley purred.
To be continued ...