BATMAN: CRIME, CRIME EVERYWHERE
By Bruce Wayne
DISCLAIMER: Most of the characters portrayed in this story are copyright by DC Comics, an AOL/Time/Warner company. They are used without permission for entertainment without profit by the author.
Author's Note: This chapter contains an adaptation of some scenes from the 1966 Batman movie.
CHAPTER 9 - THE VILLIANS TRY AGAIN
It was late afternoon. The Gotham news media was assembled in the office of Police Commissioner Gordon, who was holding a press conference. The subject being reported upon was the kidnapping and safe recovery of the commissioner's daughter, Barbara.
Behind a podium, in which the commissioner was giving his remarks, were Chief O'Hara, Batman, Robin, Barbara Gordon and Dick Grayson.
The commissioner was concluding his remarks, "... and that's my statement, ladies and gentlemen of the press. I will now take your questions."
All at once a barrage of questions was yelled at the group standing behind the podium. One question managed to resonate through the others, "Batman! What happened to the Riddler?"
Batman cleared his throat before speaking. "Unfortunately, Mr Drummond, the Riddler was able to escape while Robin and I were retrieving Miss Gordon and Nightwing as they were dangling from the bridge."
A feminine voice rang out, "Where is Nightwing, Batman?"
"Good day, Miss Morales. To answer your question ... Nightwing was unable to attend this press conference. He is attending to some other pressing business."
***
In the top floor flat that was above the Benbow Tavern, several criminals were watching the news conference with a great deal of interest.
"Who's that cute guy standing next to Red?" Harley Quinn asked.
The Riddler answered, "Who knows? It's probably her boyfriend."
"Yeah, I think he is," said the former Penguin henchman known as Tuna. Since the Penguin had been captured, he was a now a member of the Joker's crew and had been renamed Giggler. "When we grabbed the chick the other night, he was there. I slugged him on the back of the head with my trusty sap."
Harley giggled. "A sap hit a sap with a sap."
There was a round of laughter at female villian's joke.
The Joker ordered while pointing at the television, "Quiet! I want to hear this!"
***
Back at the press conference, James Downing of the Gotham Tribune asked, "Miss Gordon, could you please tell us about your ordeal and your dramatic rescue?"
All eyes focused on the young woman in the wheelchair.
"As for my ordeal, it was horrible. But I must say that I was not treated badly by my captors. As for my rescue, I can't say enough about the courage and the amazing abilities of Nightwing. He risked his life to save me from the clutches of death. If he had miscalculated in any way, we both would certainly been killed. I'm sorry he's not here." She looked up to Dick Grayson. "I would've truly like to thank him properly."
"Miss Gordon, who is the young man standing behind you?" asked Diane Schumacher of radio station WGC.
Barbara looked behind her once more and offered her hand to Dick. "This is Richard Grayson, my close, dear, friend who was brutally attacked when the Penguin abducted me."
"Are you the same Richard Grayson that was Bruce Wayne's ward at one time?" came a question.
Dick answered, "Yes. I was once billionaire Bruce Wayne's ward."
John Irwin of the Gotham Times asked, "Miss Gordon, will this ordeal, in any way, change your life?"
She thought about the question for a moment and then answered, "No, I'll just try to forget about it and chalk it up as an experience living in Gotham City. We have so many of those odd, costumed criminals running around. Thank goodness we have Batman, Robin, and, of course, Nightwing here to protect us."
"What about this new crimefighter called Huntress?" came another question from the press corps.
Batman spoke, "I'm not sure what to tell you. She came as a surprise and I discourage others to attempt fighting crime in a costume. Crimefighting is a dangerous business best left to the professionals."
The media raised their hands and shouted for the Caped Crusader's attention. But a stunning red-headed woman caught Batman's eye and he pointed to her. "You there, Miss ...?"
The beautiful woman stepped forward. Her hands held a small camera. She answered the Dark Knight in a heavy Russian accent, "Natasha Alianova Romanova. I am from the Moscow Post."
Batman's voice seemed to lower somewhat. "You grace us with your presence. May I be of service?"
The woman raised the camera a little higher. "If you please, to take off the mask to, uh, get a better picture."
An incredulous Commissioner Gordon blurted out, "Great Scott! Batman take off his mask!?"
"The woman must be mad!" Chief O'Hara exclaimed.
Batman held his hand up for silence. "Please! Chief O'Hara -- all of you -- this young lady is a stranger to our shores. The request is not unnatural, however, impossible to grant."
"Impossible?" the woman asked in a disappointed voice.
The Masked Manhunter replied, "Indeed. If Robin and I were to remove our masks, the secret of our true identities would be revealed."
"Completely destroying their value as ace crimefighters," Commissioner Gordon informed her.
"Sure, ma'am, not even Commissioner Gordon or me'self know who they really are," O'Hara explained.
Robin chimed in, "In fact, our own relatives we live with don't know."
The woman looked Batman up and down with her eyes. "But your so curious costumes ..."
Robin said, "Don't be put off by them, ma'am. Under this garb we are perfectly ordinary Americans."
A challenging smile crossed the lips of the woman, "You are like the masked vigilantes in the westerns, no?"
"Certainly not!" Commissioner Gordon said in an indignant voice. "Batman and Robin are fully deputized agents of the law!"
"Support your police!" Robin said. "That's our message."
Batman looked to his younger partner. "Well said, Robin. And no better way to end this press conference. Thank you and ... good day."
As the reporters began to leave the commissioner's office, Batman kept his eye on the extremely attractive female from Russia as she exited the office.
***
At the villianous hideout of Batman's foes, the Joker laughed and said, "Mr Riddler, I think I've come up with another brilliant plan!"
"Your plans have been less than stellar so far, you laughing jack-in-the- box," the Riddler said while sneering.
"Oh, we're not in jail, are we?" the Joker asked.
"I WAS in jail not too long ago," the man in green intoned.
"But you aren't now. So listen ... when they mentioned Bruce Wayne's name, it gave me a wonderful idea." the Clown Prince of Crime said smiling.
An unimpressed Riddler remarked, "I don't get it"
"Don't you see, Mr Riddler?" the Joker laughed again. "Think about it. We grab Wayne and then demand the Penguin back -- plus cash! Lot's of it!" The Joker laughed some more and then did a pirouette in the middle of the room.
"Do we really need the Penguin that bad?" The Riddler asked.
The Joker stopped dancing and his voice turned hard. "It's the least we can do for him, Riddler. He did it for you."
"Yeah!" Harley added.
"But it probably means another run-in with Batman and his crowd," Riddler replied.
"Yeah!" Harley added.
"Shut up, Harl!" Joker ordered and then tried to explain to his criminal colleague, "We need our little team together if we're going to pull off that gem job in the Diamond District."
The Joker reached into the inside pocket of his jacket and pulled out a "Cigar?" he asked.
The Riddler rolled his eyes, shook his head and walked away.
***
Later that evening at stately Wayne Manor, Bruce Wayne was sitting in his favorite easy chair in his large living room. He was doing something he hadn't done in long time. He was reading a book on anthropology. Bruce was concentrating on a chapter about Margaret Mead, who wrote a book that was called "Coming of Age in Samoa." Mead's book had been based upon her research in the South Pacific in 1925 and 1926.
Bruce was so fascinated with the chapter that he didn't even hear Alfred approach. A slight cough caught his attention. Bruce turned a page without even looking up, "Yes, Alfred?"
"You have a telephone call, sir. A young lady named Romanova?"
Bruce had to think for a moment. "Does she have a Russian accent?"
"Indeed, sir."
"I'll take the call. Thank you."
Alfred bowed slightly and left the room. Bruce went over to a side table and picked up a cordless phone.
"Hello? Billionaire Bruce Wayne speaking."
On the other end of the line was a now somewhat familiar voice of the woman who questioned Batman that afternoon in Commissioner Gordon's office. "Hello, Mr Wayne? My name is Natasha Romanova. We've never met, but I believe it is important that I see you as soon as possible."
"Can you tell me what this is about, Miss Romanova?"
"I found something that was written on Wayne Enterprises stationary. It appears to be criminal in nature."
"Criminal, you say?" asked Bruce.
"Yes."
"Hmmm. Perhaps I should take a look at it. Where can I meet you?"
"I am staying at the Gotham Arms Hotel. Room 1604."
"Very well, Miss Romanova. I'm leaving now. I should be there in about thirty minutes. Good-bye."
Bruce hung up the phone.
Why would a Russian reporter receive some type of criminal-related message on Wayne Enterprises stationary? It sounded very strange. It also smelled like a trap.
Bruce picked up the telephone again and made a phone call to someone who might be interested in where he was going this evening.
***
Less than an hour later, Bruce Wayne was sitting on a small couch in a large room at the Gotham Arms Hotel. He was watching the incredibly beautiful Natasha Romanova pacing in front of him. She was wearing a light green, long-sleeved dress that accentuated every curve of her body.
Bruce thought it was best to re-examine the paper that he held in his hands. He asked her, "You say you found these riddles written on Wayne Enterprises stationary slipped under the door of your hotel room?"
She looked into his eyes. "Yes, Mr Wayne. That is why I called you. At first, I thought it was some foolishness. But then, I remembered -- is there not a criminal cad in this country called the, uh, Riddler, who preys upon the workers of America?"
Bruce smiled. "Your jargon is quaint, Miss Romanova. But, uh, there is such a creature, I believe."
"Well, what do we do now? Report these riddles to your police? Or perhaps to that masked cossack, Batman?"
Bruce smiled again. "Oh, that's hardly necessary at the moment. Doubtless it is the work of some harmless crackpot."
Suddenly, there was the sound of splintering wood and the door to hotel room burst open.
The sound of laughter was heard. "This is a kidnapping! Our joke's on you!" The Joker laughed again as he entered.
Bruce Wayne was stunned -- but only for a moment. He stood up in front of Natasha to put himself between the criminals and her. A look of determination was on his face. He quickly considered the risk of exposing his secret identity. There was little chance that he was going to allow the villians to place Natasha Romanova into an ordeal like they did Barbara Gordon.
He turned sideways and was preparing to attack the six criminals, including Harley Quinn, who stood in front of him.
Natasha looked at Bruce and she was shocked. She had done her homework on Wayne. He was widely known to be a fop and a womanizer who chased anything that wore a short skirt. But the gentleman who she had been talking to a few moments before changed before her very eyes. He now became very different and somewhat familiar to her.
She saw the quick reflexes. His posture changed. She had noticed the calluses on his hands earlier. Natasha was able to tell by the way he positioned his body and hands that he had been very well trained in martial arts. He was ready to take on five men and woman at one time in order to protect her from any harm.
There was another man, she knew, in Gotham City, who fit that description. She looked again. His size was right. But, still, she was unsure.
Harley Quinn strutted up to Natasha. "Ha! Another red-head! This town is full of red-heads, Mistah J!"
Harley then shoved Natasha onto the couch by pushing her in the chest.
Bruce Wayne never took his eyes off the Joker. "I'm not letting you take her, you demented clown!"
The Joker laughed. "Her? Who needs her? We want you!" He laughed again.
"ME?!" Bruce exclimed dumbfounded. Realizing that his secret identity was at stake, he relaxed somewhat. He would allow the villians to take him as long as Natasha was not harmed.
Three of the Joker's thugs grabbed Bruce.
Natasha yelled, "WAIT!" She ran into Bruce's arms and kissed him very hard. Because everyone was taken by surprise by the woman throwing herself at the billionaire, no one, including Bruce, saw her slipping something into the pocket of his sport jacket.
On the roof of the building across the street from the Gotham Arms Hotel, a pair of eyes was watching the entire scene through a pair of hi-tech binoculars. The observer made a strange sound, "Mrrow."
The Joker laughed as he pulled Natasha off of Bruce. "I see you live up to your reputation as a playboy, Mr Wayne."
Harley slid right into Bruce's arms. "Let me try some of that!" she said smiling broadly.
"HARLEY!" growled the Joker.
"Sorry, puddin', I got carried away."
Bruce said to Natasha as he was being escorted out the door, "Miss Romanova, please inform the hotel to put a better quality of lock on their doors."
The Joker laughed again and said, "Oh, very funny, Mr Wayne." He looked to Natasha. "Dear lady, please do us all a favor and call 911. Tell them what's happened!" He laughed and then said in a singing voice, "Tell them it was the Joker!"
"And Harley!" his feminine criminal cohort added as she danced out of the room.
The Joker and Harley giggled and laughed all the way out of the hotel with Bruce Wayne in tow. Witnesses would later tell police that the man who looked like a clown kept telling people as he hackled in the lobby, "A joke a day keeps the gloom away."
On the rooftop across the street from the hotel, Catwoman was putting away her surveillance gear and pulled out another handheld device that had a video screen. She turned it on and saw that it was functioning properly.
She looked down and saw the henchmen and Bruce piling into a black van. The Joker and Harley Quinn took off in red sports car that sported the Clown Prince of Crime's visage on the front hood.
Catwoman seemingly spoke into the night air. "O? The bad guys just took B. I'll be trailing them via this little handheld device I have. Do you have a fix as well, in case something goes wrong with my tracking device?"
"Affirmative, C.W. I have them traveling north on Sprang Avenue coming up to 34th Street," Oracle said in Catwoman's ear via an encrypted radio communications link.
"When they kidnapped you, did you know where you were?"
"Negative. They blindfolded me going in and out of their lair," Barbara Gordon replied.
Catwoman sighed. "Well, that makes it a little harder, but I'll find them."
***
Natasha Romanova did not call 911. Knowing that hotel security and management was probably on its way up to the room. Natasha grabbed a black briefcase and moved quickly out of the room. She took the elevator to the top floor and managed to find her way to the roof of the Gotham Arms Hotel.
Once on the roof, she found a secluded spot behind some large air conditioning units. Natasha entered the proper combination on the locks of the briefcase and opened it. Inside was a black outfit, along with some equipment.
A few minutes later, Natasha Romanova was standing on the roof of the hotel wearing a black body suit that was so tight it looked like she had been poured into it. Every imaginable curve of her body was clearly visible in the costume in which the gloves and boots were covered with microscopic suction cups that enabled her to crawl on walls and ceilings. Around her waist was a gold belt that was covered with disks that were filled with explosives that functioned as grenades. On her wrists were her gold "widow's bite" bracelets, capable of firing blasts of electricity, gas- filled capsules that exploded on contact or a grappling cable line.
Unbeknownst to anyone in Gotham City, Natasha Romanova was the Black Widow.
From her special briefcase, the Black Widow pulled a handheld device that looked very similar to the one that Catwoman was using. The screen on the tracking device lit up and an arrow pointed in the direction she needed to go as well as a digital Global Positioning System readout.
The Widow pointed her right arm out and fired a grappling line at a nearby building. The incredible woman swung out over the streets of Gotham City in pursuit of the abductors of Bruce Wayne.
***
While Catwoman and the Black Widow were pursuing the kidnappers, Bruce Wayne was tied up and blindfolded in the van with the Joker's henchmen.
"Hey, Laugher, when do ya think the bosses are going to pull off the gem job?" one of the thugs asked.
"Have a care, Goofy!" Laugher said while jerking his thumb toward Bruce.
"Oops, I forgot. The boss would cut my heart out if he'd heard me. Hey, millionaire playboy! Didja hear what I said?" the criminal asked.
Bruce pretended he was in deep thought.
"Hey, Wayne! Wake up!" The thug nudged him roughly.
"Huh?" Bruce looked up blindly. "What?"
Goofy laughed. "Never mind. See what I mean, Laugher? He's too scared. He's thinking about what we're going to do to him."
Bruce thought to himself, "You should be worried about what I'm going to do to you, stupid. I wonder what he meant by 'gem job.'"
***
Catwoman heard Oracle in her ear. "It looks like they stopped, C.W. You read the same?"
As the incredibly athletic Catwoman was diving between two high-rise buildings, she managed to reply, "That's how it looked to me about a minute ago. I'm almost there."
On the roof of a nearby building, another costumed figured caught sight of Catwoman as she was moving from building to building. The dark figure decided to follow the former princess of plunder.
***
On the top floor of the building that housed the Benbow Tavern, a blindfolded and tied Bruce Wayne was being treated a little roughly by his captors. He was shoved to sit on a plain wooden chair.
"... and we don't want to hear a word outta you! Ya understand, Mr Millionaire?!" one of the henchmen ordered.
Bruce pretended to be frightened. "Oh -- yes, sir."
The four goons in the room gathered around a table and began to play a game of poker.
Bruce looked around the room. Near a barricaded rear door, there was a pile of garbage.
"Such filthy criminals," Bruce thought to himself.
A few moments later, Harley Quinn skipped into the room. "Hiya!" she said with a smile.
Bruce just looked at her.
"Wanna hear a joke?" she asked her captive audience.
"Uh, no I rather not, Miss ...? Miss?"
She stuck out her hand. "Harley Quinn! I'm the leader of this here gang!"
With his eyes, Bruce tried to convey to Harley that his hands were tied behind his back and that it wasn't possible for him to shake her hand.
He said to her, "I thought the Joker was the leader of this gang."
Harley cupped her hand around her mouth and leaned close to Bruce's ear and whispered, "Naw, Mistah J is just the mascot -- I'm the real brains."
Bruce's eyes widened in mock understanding and he nodded slowly as she backed away.
"So," she continued, "Ya wanna hear a joke?"
"Not really, Miss Quinn, I'm a little concerned about my predictment as you might imagine."
Harley smiled broadly. "Aww, don't worry, sweetcheeks! We're just gonna trade you in for Pengy. We wouldn't hurt you. Yer what they call an upstandin' citizen of Gotham City. As long as ya don't piss off my puddin, ya got nothin' to worry about."
Seeing that there were no other available chairs in the room, Harley decided to straddle Bruce and sat in his lap. She placed her arms around Bruce's neck and began to move her tush ever so slightly in his lap.
The Joker and the Riddler walked into the room.
"HARLEY!" the clown prince of crime yelled in mock disbelief.
The Joker then looked to Bruce Wayne. "Are you trying to make time with my girl, Wayne?! What's with you? I know all about your reputation! You'd chase anything in a skirt!"
"But I'm not wearin' a skirt, puddin' --"
"Shut up, Harl! This is between us men!" the Joker demanded.
Bruce Wayne just closed his eyes and shook his head knowing he was being held captive in a lunatic asylum.
***
A short distance away from the Benbow Tavern, Catwoman knew she was getting close to Bruce Wayne. Her borrowed Bat-homing device was now flashing red on its small screen.
"He must be around here," she thought to herself. Looking at the row of commercial businesses that were situated on the city block, Catwoman spotted the tavern and began to move toward it.
From the rooftop vantage point of the building next door to the Benbow Tavern, Catwoman spotted a skylight. She quietly jumped onto the roof of the tavern.
Light was coming from the skylight as she looked through it. She snickered at what she saw. Four henchmen were playing a card game around a table. Just a few feet away was a bound Bruce Wayne.
Suddenly, from behind her, Catwoman heard a slight noise of gravel being moved on the roof. She turned quickly to confront whoever it was that was with her on the rooftop. What she saw was another caped figure -- a female she wasn't familiar with.
"Who are you?" Catwoman demanded.
The tall girl in maroon and black was holding a small crossbow that was aimed directly at Catwoman. "I'm called Huntress. I presume you're the Catwoman."
Keeping her eyes on the weapon that was pointed at her, Catwoman said, "You want to be careful where you point that."
"You're a criminal," Huntress explained.
Catwoman let out an exasperated sigh. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what the papers say. But tonight I'm playing one of the good guys. I'm here to rescue a kidnapped Bruce Wayne from the Joker and the Riddler."
"Bruce Wayne has been kidnapped?"
"You don't have to believe me," Catwoman replied pointing to the skylight, "just look for yourself."
Huntress moved cautiously toward the skylight, keeping her crossbow aimed at Catwoman. She peered down and saw that sure enough Catwoman was telling the truth.
"Why should you care if Bruce Wayne is kidnapped?" the tall brunette with the cape asked.
Catwoman sighed again. "Let's just say I have a personal interest." She pulled out the Bat-homing device and showed it to the younger woman. "He has a tracking device on him, that's how I've been following him."
Suddenly, there was another slight noise from another portion of the rooftop. The two woman turned and saw, yet, a third woman. This one was dressed in a skintight black outfit.
An incredulous Catwoman remarked, "This rooftop is getting crowded."
"My tracking device indicates the same thing," the mysterious woman replied.
As the third woman moved closer, Catwoman recognized her as the same woman who Bruce Wayne had been meeting with in the hotel room. Catwoman started, "You're ..."
"Black Widow," the woman replied.
"I've heard of you," Huntress said. "Weren't you a vigilante operating in San Francisco?"
"Da," the woman with the Russian accent confirmed. "I'm here in Gotham City on other business when I apparently stumbled upon these criminals. They abducted Bruce Wayne from right under my nose."
Catwoman pointed to the skylight, "Well, there he is."
The three woman looked at each other and then smiled.
Huntress asked, "Well. what are we going to do about this?"
Catwoman grinned again. "Oh, that's easy! We do -- THIS!!" The incredible woman jumped through the glass of the skylight. The glass rained down on the totally surprised criminals.
With his incredible reflexive agility, Bruce Wayne dived out of the way of the falling glass.
Catwoman, followed by Huntress, and then finally Black Widow landed on the floor between Bruce and the four goons.
One of the henchmen started to ask, "How could you survive that kind of a fal --" The thug never finished the sentence because Catwoman sliced with a chop to the head. She then took his right arm, yanked at it, whirled him half way around and let go. The man spun to the floor, hard, like a top.
Black Widow ran to Bruce Wayne and quickly helped him out of his bonds. He looked up flabbergasted at the redheaded woman. "Miss --"
"Black Widow," she finished for him. "Mr Wayne go to that rear door now!" she ordered as she kicked another henchmen out of her way.
Three more henchmen entered the room followed by the Riddler, the Joker and Harley Quinn.
"We got more company!" Huntress yelled as she slammed another goon to the floor.
The Riddler looked obviously upset at the Joker. "You crazy clown!" he said. "You should've figured every damn female hero in town would come to rescue Bruce Wayne!"
Catwoman caught sight of the Riddler and she focused on him. "Eddie! I'm going to kill you!" she screamed as she started to move toward him.
Knowing he was still in deep trouble with Catwoman for almost killing her in the museum, the Riddler quickly exited through the doorway to escape.
Catwoman's pursuit of the Prince of Puzzlers was blocked by two goons. "GET HER!" One of them yelled.
"In your dreams!" Catwoman replied as she jumped up and kicked one in the face.
The second man swung at her head. She ducked, placed her hand on the floor, spun her body with one leg stuck out and upended her opponent who fell to the floor on his back. Catwoman then jumped back up and landed hard on the man's chest with both of her knees. She heard an audible, "Oof!" as the air was knocked out of the criminal.
Apparently the criminals had been using the hideout as a place to keep stolen merchandise in. Huntress saw a rack of stolen fur coats. The rack had wheels on it. She grabbed the rack and started wheeling it toward three thugs who had armed themselves with pistols.
"This is 'fur' you," Huntress said as she knocked down one by pushing the rack into him. The other two henchmen were able to move out of the way of the rack of coats.
Giggler called out, "Our guns will stop your gags!"
Just a split second before the two villians opened fire, Huntress dived to the floor and rolled herself toward the two criminals. She kicked Giggler in the groin. He moaned in pain as he dropped to the floor quickly, holding himself where he was hurt.
Huntress then grabbed the other thug's gun hand and pulled. She put her boot into his abdomen, rolled on her back and threw the man across the room.
A large number of sirens were heard outside the building. Knowing the location of where Bruce Wayne was being held, Oracle had informed the police.
Harley rushed to a window. "Puddin! The cops are here! What do we do?"
The Joker turned to look for his hostage -- Bruce Wayne. He spotted the billionaire near the rear exit with a black-clad woman he had never seen before. The Clown Prince of Crime started to move meancingly toward Bruce and Black Widow. The redheaded woman raised her left arm and suddenly the Joker was jolted with several thousands volts of electricity, courtesy of Black Widow's taser in her Widow's Bite. The Joker dropped to the floor, unconscious.
Harley dropped to her knees beside the Joker, crying. "Puddin?! Puddin?!" She cradled his head into her lap.
Catwoman started to run toward the door the Riddler had used to escape.
Bruce called out to her, "Catwoman! NO! Come this way!"
She stopped in her tracks. One part of her wanted to chase the Riddler and beat him to a pulp again. But another part of her knew that a large number of policemen would be at the front door of the top floor of the tavern. Her mission had been accomplished. Bruce was safe.
Catwoman looked at the prone Joker being cradled by the sobbing Harley Quinn.
"Let's go!" Bruce ordered as he led the three costumed women out the rear exit and down the stairs.
The Benbow Tavern hideout had been busted. The Joker, Harley Quinn and all their henchmen were taken into custody by the Gotham City Police Department. The Riddler was the only one to remain at large.
To be continued ...
By Bruce Wayne
DISCLAIMER: Most of the characters portrayed in this story are copyright by DC Comics, an AOL/Time/Warner company. They are used without permission for entertainment without profit by the author.
Author's Note: This chapter contains an adaptation of some scenes from the 1966 Batman movie.
CHAPTER 9 - THE VILLIANS TRY AGAIN
It was late afternoon. The Gotham news media was assembled in the office of Police Commissioner Gordon, who was holding a press conference. The subject being reported upon was the kidnapping and safe recovery of the commissioner's daughter, Barbara.
Behind a podium, in which the commissioner was giving his remarks, were Chief O'Hara, Batman, Robin, Barbara Gordon and Dick Grayson.
The commissioner was concluding his remarks, "... and that's my statement, ladies and gentlemen of the press. I will now take your questions."
All at once a barrage of questions was yelled at the group standing behind the podium. One question managed to resonate through the others, "Batman! What happened to the Riddler?"
Batman cleared his throat before speaking. "Unfortunately, Mr Drummond, the Riddler was able to escape while Robin and I were retrieving Miss Gordon and Nightwing as they were dangling from the bridge."
A feminine voice rang out, "Where is Nightwing, Batman?"
"Good day, Miss Morales. To answer your question ... Nightwing was unable to attend this press conference. He is attending to some other pressing business."
***
In the top floor flat that was above the Benbow Tavern, several criminals were watching the news conference with a great deal of interest.
"Who's that cute guy standing next to Red?" Harley Quinn asked.
The Riddler answered, "Who knows? It's probably her boyfriend."
"Yeah, I think he is," said the former Penguin henchman known as Tuna. Since the Penguin had been captured, he was a now a member of the Joker's crew and had been renamed Giggler. "When we grabbed the chick the other night, he was there. I slugged him on the back of the head with my trusty sap."
Harley giggled. "A sap hit a sap with a sap."
There was a round of laughter at female villian's joke.
The Joker ordered while pointing at the television, "Quiet! I want to hear this!"
***
Back at the press conference, James Downing of the Gotham Tribune asked, "Miss Gordon, could you please tell us about your ordeal and your dramatic rescue?"
All eyes focused on the young woman in the wheelchair.
"As for my ordeal, it was horrible. But I must say that I was not treated badly by my captors. As for my rescue, I can't say enough about the courage and the amazing abilities of Nightwing. He risked his life to save me from the clutches of death. If he had miscalculated in any way, we both would certainly been killed. I'm sorry he's not here." She looked up to Dick Grayson. "I would've truly like to thank him properly."
"Miss Gordon, who is the young man standing behind you?" asked Diane Schumacher of radio station WGC.
Barbara looked behind her once more and offered her hand to Dick. "This is Richard Grayson, my close, dear, friend who was brutally attacked when the Penguin abducted me."
"Are you the same Richard Grayson that was Bruce Wayne's ward at one time?" came a question.
Dick answered, "Yes. I was once billionaire Bruce Wayne's ward."
John Irwin of the Gotham Times asked, "Miss Gordon, will this ordeal, in any way, change your life?"
She thought about the question for a moment and then answered, "No, I'll just try to forget about it and chalk it up as an experience living in Gotham City. We have so many of those odd, costumed criminals running around. Thank goodness we have Batman, Robin, and, of course, Nightwing here to protect us."
"What about this new crimefighter called Huntress?" came another question from the press corps.
Batman spoke, "I'm not sure what to tell you. She came as a surprise and I discourage others to attempt fighting crime in a costume. Crimefighting is a dangerous business best left to the professionals."
The media raised their hands and shouted for the Caped Crusader's attention. But a stunning red-headed woman caught Batman's eye and he pointed to her. "You there, Miss ...?"
The beautiful woman stepped forward. Her hands held a small camera. She answered the Dark Knight in a heavy Russian accent, "Natasha Alianova Romanova. I am from the Moscow Post."
Batman's voice seemed to lower somewhat. "You grace us with your presence. May I be of service?"
The woman raised the camera a little higher. "If you please, to take off the mask to, uh, get a better picture."
An incredulous Commissioner Gordon blurted out, "Great Scott! Batman take off his mask!?"
"The woman must be mad!" Chief O'Hara exclaimed.
Batman held his hand up for silence. "Please! Chief O'Hara -- all of you -- this young lady is a stranger to our shores. The request is not unnatural, however, impossible to grant."
"Impossible?" the woman asked in a disappointed voice.
The Masked Manhunter replied, "Indeed. If Robin and I were to remove our masks, the secret of our true identities would be revealed."
"Completely destroying their value as ace crimefighters," Commissioner Gordon informed her.
"Sure, ma'am, not even Commissioner Gordon or me'self know who they really are," O'Hara explained.
Robin chimed in, "In fact, our own relatives we live with don't know."
The woman looked Batman up and down with her eyes. "But your so curious costumes ..."
Robin said, "Don't be put off by them, ma'am. Under this garb we are perfectly ordinary Americans."
A challenging smile crossed the lips of the woman, "You are like the masked vigilantes in the westerns, no?"
"Certainly not!" Commissioner Gordon said in an indignant voice. "Batman and Robin are fully deputized agents of the law!"
"Support your police!" Robin said. "That's our message."
Batman looked to his younger partner. "Well said, Robin. And no better way to end this press conference. Thank you and ... good day."
As the reporters began to leave the commissioner's office, Batman kept his eye on the extremely attractive female from Russia as she exited the office.
***
At the villianous hideout of Batman's foes, the Joker laughed and said, "Mr Riddler, I think I've come up with another brilliant plan!"
"Your plans have been less than stellar so far, you laughing jack-in-the- box," the Riddler said while sneering.
"Oh, we're not in jail, are we?" the Joker asked.
"I WAS in jail not too long ago," the man in green intoned.
"But you aren't now. So listen ... when they mentioned Bruce Wayne's name, it gave me a wonderful idea." the Clown Prince of Crime said smiling.
An unimpressed Riddler remarked, "I don't get it"
"Don't you see, Mr Riddler?" the Joker laughed again. "Think about it. We grab Wayne and then demand the Penguin back -- plus cash! Lot's of it!" The Joker laughed some more and then did a pirouette in the middle of the room.
"Do we really need the Penguin that bad?" The Riddler asked.
The Joker stopped dancing and his voice turned hard. "It's the least we can do for him, Riddler. He did it for you."
"Yeah!" Harley added.
"But it probably means another run-in with Batman and his crowd," Riddler replied.
"Yeah!" Harley added.
"Shut up, Harl!" Joker ordered and then tried to explain to his criminal colleague, "We need our little team together if we're going to pull off that gem job in the Diamond District."
The Joker reached into the inside pocket of his jacket and pulled out a "Cigar?" he asked.
The Riddler rolled his eyes, shook his head and walked away.
***
Later that evening at stately Wayne Manor, Bruce Wayne was sitting in his favorite easy chair in his large living room. He was doing something he hadn't done in long time. He was reading a book on anthropology. Bruce was concentrating on a chapter about Margaret Mead, who wrote a book that was called "Coming of Age in Samoa." Mead's book had been based upon her research in the South Pacific in 1925 and 1926.
Bruce was so fascinated with the chapter that he didn't even hear Alfred approach. A slight cough caught his attention. Bruce turned a page without even looking up, "Yes, Alfred?"
"You have a telephone call, sir. A young lady named Romanova?"
Bruce had to think for a moment. "Does she have a Russian accent?"
"Indeed, sir."
"I'll take the call. Thank you."
Alfred bowed slightly and left the room. Bruce went over to a side table and picked up a cordless phone.
"Hello? Billionaire Bruce Wayne speaking."
On the other end of the line was a now somewhat familiar voice of the woman who questioned Batman that afternoon in Commissioner Gordon's office. "Hello, Mr Wayne? My name is Natasha Romanova. We've never met, but I believe it is important that I see you as soon as possible."
"Can you tell me what this is about, Miss Romanova?"
"I found something that was written on Wayne Enterprises stationary. It appears to be criminal in nature."
"Criminal, you say?" asked Bruce.
"Yes."
"Hmmm. Perhaps I should take a look at it. Where can I meet you?"
"I am staying at the Gotham Arms Hotel. Room 1604."
"Very well, Miss Romanova. I'm leaving now. I should be there in about thirty minutes. Good-bye."
Bruce hung up the phone.
Why would a Russian reporter receive some type of criminal-related message on Wayne Enterprises stationary? It sounded very strange. It also smelled like a trap.
Bruce picked up the telephone again and made a phone call to someone who might be interested in where he was going this evening.
***
Less than an hour later, Bruce Wayne was sitting on a small couch in a large room at the Gotham Arms Hotel. He was watching the incredibly beautiful Natasha Romanova pacing in front of him. She was wearing a light green, long-sleeved dress that accentuated every curve of her body.
Bruce thought it was best to re-examine the paper that he held in his hands. He asked her, "You say you found these riddles written on Wayne Enterprises stationary slipped under the door of your hotel room?"
She looked into his eyes. "Yes, Mr Wayne. That is why I called you. At first, I thought it was some foolishness. But then, I remembered -- is there not a criminal cad in this country called the, uh, Riddler, who preys upon the workers of America?"
Bruce smiled. "Your jargon is quaint, Miss Romanova. But, uh, there is such a creature, I believe."
"Well, what do we do now? Report these riddles to your police? Or perhaps to that masked cossack, Batman?"
Bruce smiled again. "Oh, that's hardly necessary at the moment. Doubtless it is the work of some harmless crackpot."
Suddenly, there was the sound of splintering wood and the door to hotel room burst open.
The sound of laughter was heard. "This is a kidnapping! Our joke's on you!" The Joker laughed again as he entered.
Bruce Wayne was stunned -- but only for a moment. He stood up in front of Natasha to put himself between the criminals and her. A look of determination was on his face. He quickly considered the risk of exposing his secret identity. There was little chance that he was going to allow the villians to place Natasha Romanova into an ordeal like they did Barbara Gordon.
He turned sideways and was preparing to attack the six criminals, including Harley Quinn, who stood in front of him.
Natasha looked at Bruce and she was shocked. She had done her homework on Wayne. He was widely known to be a fop and a womanizer who chased anything that wore a short skirt. But the gentleman who she had been talking to a few moments before changed before her very eyes. He now became very different and somewhat familiar to her.
She saw the quick reflexes. His posture changed. She had noticed the calluses on his hands earlier. Natasha was able to tell by the way he positioned his body and hands that he had been very well trained in martial arts. He was ready to take on five men and woman at one time in order to protect her from any harm.
There was another man, she knew, in Gotham City, who fit that description. She looked again. His size was right. But, still, she was unsure.
Harley Quinn strutted up to Natasha. "Ha! Another red-head! This town is full of red-heads, Mistah J!"
Harley then shoved Natasha onto the couch by pushing her in the chest.
Bruce Wayne never took his eyes off the Joker. "I'm not letting you take her, you demented clown!"
The Joker laughed. "Her? Who needs her? We want you!" He laughed again.
"ME?!" Bruce exclimed dumbfounded. Realizing that his secret identity was at stake, he relaxed somewhat. He would allow the villians to take him as long as Natasha was not harmed.
Three of the Joker's thugs grabbed Bruce.
Natasha yelled, "WAIT!" She ran into Bruce's arms and kissed him very hard. Because everyone was taken by surprise by the woman throwing herself at the billionaire, no one, including Bruce, saw her slipping something into the pocket of his sport jacket.
On the roof of the building across the street from the Gotham Arms Hotel, a pair of eyes was watching the entire scene through a pair of hi-tech binoculars. The observer made a strange sound, "Mrrow."
The Joker laughed as he pulled Natasha off of Bruce. "I see you live up to your reputation as a playboy, Mr Wayne."
Harley slid right into Bruce's arms. "Let me try some of that!" she said smiling broadly.
"HARLEY!" growled the Joker.
"Sorry, puddin', I got carried away."
Bruce said to Natasha as he was being escorted out the door, "Miss Romanova, please inform the hotel to put a better quality of lock on their doors."
The Joker laughed again and said, "Oh, very funny, Mr Wayne." He looked to Natasha. "Dear lady, please do us all a favor and call 911. Tell them what's happened!" He laughed and then said in a singing voice, "Tell them it was the Joker!"
"And Harley!" his feminine criminal cohort added as she danced out of the room.
The Joker and Harley giggled and laughed all the way out of the hotel with Bruce Wayne in tow. Witnesses would later tell police that the man who looked like a clown kept telling people as he hackled in the lobby, "A joke a day keeps the gloom away."
On the rooftop across the street from the hotel, Catwoman was putting away her surveillance gear and pulled out another handheld device that had a video screen. She turned it on and saw that it was functioning properly.
She looked down and saw the henchmen and Bruce piling into a black van. The Joker and Harley Quinn took off in red sports car that sported the Clown Prince of Crime's visage on the front hood.
Catwoman seemingly spoke into the night air. "O? The bad guys just took B. I'll be trailing them via this little handheld device I have. Do you have a fix as well, in case something goes wrong with my tracking device?"
"Affirmative, C.W. I have them traveling north on Sprang Avenue coming up to 34th Street," Oracle said in Catwoman's ear via an encrypted radio communications link.
"When they kidnapped you, did you know where you were?"
"Negative. They blindfolded me going in and out of their lair," Barbara Gordon replied.
Catwoman sighed. "Well, that makes it a little harder, but I'll find them."
***
Natasha Romanova did not call 911. Knowing that hotel security and management was probably on its way up to the room. Natasha grabbed a black briefcase and moved quickly out of the room. She took the elevator to the top floor and managed to find her way to the roof of the Gotham Arms Hotel.
Once on the roof, she found a secluded spot behind some large air conditioning units. Natasha entered the proper combination on the locks of the briefcase and opened it. Inside was a black outfit, along with some equipment.
A few minutes later, Natasha Romanova was standing on the roof of the hotel wearing a black body suit that was so tight it looked like she had been poured into it. Every imaginable curve of her body was clearly visible in the costume in which the gloves and boots were covered with microscopic suction cups that enabled her to crawl on walls and ceilings. Around her waist was a gold belt that was covered with disks that were filled with explosives that functioned as grenades. On her wrists were her gold "widow's bite" bracelets, capable of firing blasts of electricity, gas- filled capsules that exploded on contact or a grappling cable line.
Unbeknownst to anyone in Gotham City, Natasha Romanova was the Black Widow.
From her special briefcase, the Black Widow pulled a handheld device that looked very similar to the one that Catwoman was using. The screen on the tracking device lit up and an arrow pointed in the direction she needed to go as well as a digital Global Positioning System readout.
The Widow pointed her right arm out and fired a grappling line at a nearby building. The incredible woman swung out over the streets of Gotham City in pursuit of the abductors of Bruce Wayne.
***
While Catwoman and the Black Widow were pursuing the kidnappers, Bruce Wayne was tied up and blindfolded in the van with the Joker's henchmen.
"Hey, Laugher, when do ya think the bosses are going to pull off the gem job?" one of the thugs asked.
"Have a care, Goofy!" Laugher said while jerking his thumb toward Bruce.
"Oops, I forgot. The boss would cut my heart out if he'd heard me. Hey, millionaire playboy! Didja hear what I said?" the criminal asked.
Bruce pretended he was in deep thought.
"Hey, Wayne! Wake up!" The thug nudged him roughly.
"Huh?" Bruce looked up blindly. "What?"
Goofy laughed. "Never mind. See what I mean, Laugher? He's too scared. He's thinking about what we're going to do to him."
Bruce thought to himself, "You should be worried about what I'm going to do to you, stupid. I wonder what he meant by 'gem job.'"
***
Catwoman heard Oracle in her ear. "It looks like they stopped, C.W. You read the same?"
As the incredibly athletic Catwoman was diving between two high-rise buildings, she managed to reply, "That's how it looked to me about a minute ago. I'm almost there."
On the roof of a nearby building, another costumed figured caught sight of Catwoman as she was moving from building to building. The dark figure decided to follow the former princess of plunder.
***
On the top floor of the building that housed the Benbow Tavern, a blindfolded and tied Bruce Wayne was being treated a little roughly by his captors. He was shoved to sit on a plain wooden chair.
"... and we don't want to hear a word outta you! Ya understand, Mr Millionaire?!" one of the henchmen ordered.
Bruce pretended to be frightened. "Oh -- yes, sir."
The four goons in the room gathered around a table and began to play a game of poker.
Bruce looked around the room. Near a barricaded rear door, there was a pile of garbage.
"Such filthy criminals," Bruce thought to himself.
A few moments later, Harley Quinn skipped into the room. "Hiya!" she said with a smile.
Bruce just looked at her.
"Wanna hear a joke?" she asked her captive audience.
"Uh, no I rather not, Miss ...? Miss?"
She stuck out her hand. "Harley Quinn! I'm the leader of this here gang!"
With his eyes, Bruce tried to convey to Harley that his hands were tied behind his back and that it wasn't possible for him to shake her hand.
He said to her, "I thought the Joker was the leader of this gang."
Harley cupped her hand around her mouth and leaned close to Bruce's ear and whispered, "Naw, Mistah J is just the mascot -- I'm the real brains."
Bruce's eyes widened in mock understanding and he nodded slowly as she backed away.
"So," she continued, "Ya wanna hear a joke?"
"Not really, Miss Quinn, I'm a little concerned about my predictment as you might imagine."
Harley smiled broadly. "Aww, don't worry, sweetcheeks! We're just gonna trade you in for Pengy. We wouldn't hurt you. Yer what they call an upstandin' citizen of Gotham City. As long as ya don't piss off my puddin, ya got nothin' to worry about."
Seeing that there were no other available chairs in the room, Harley decided to straddle Bruce and sat in his lap. She placed her arms around Bruce's neck and began to move her tush ever so slightly in his lap.
The Joker and the Riddler walked into the room.
"HARLEY!" the clown prince of crime yelled in mock disbelief.
The Joker then looked to Bruce Wayne. "Are you trying to make time with my girl, Wayne?! What's with you? I know all about your reputation! You'd chase anything in a skirt!"
"But I'm not wearin' a skirt, puddin' --"
"Shut up, Harl! This is between us men!" the Joker demanded.
Bruce Wayne just closed his eyes and shook his head knowing he was being held captive in a lunatic asylum.
***
A short distance away from the Benbow Tavern, Catwoman knew she was getting close to Bruce Wayne. Her borrowed Bat-homing device was now flashing red on its small screen.
"He must be around here," she thought to herself. Looking at the row of commercial businesses that were situated on the city block, Catwoman spotted the tavern and began to move toward it.
From the rooftop vantage point of the building next door to the Benbow Tavern, Catwoman spotted a skylight. She quietly jumped onto the roof of the tavern.
Light was coming from the skylight as she looked through it. She snickered at what she saw. Four henchmen were playing a card game around a table. Just a few feet away was a bound Bruce Wayne.
Suddenly, from behind her, Catwoman heard a slight noise of gravel being moved on the roof. She turned quickly to confront whoever it was that was with her on the rooftop. What she saw was another caped figure -- a female she wasn't familiar with.
"Who are you?" Catwoman demanded.
The tall girl in maroon and black was holding a small crossbow that was aimed directly at Catwoman. "I'm called Huntress. I presume you're the Catwoman."
Keeping her eyes on the weapon that was pointed at her, Catwoman said, "You want to be careful where you point that."
"You're a criminal," Huntress explained.
Catwoman let out an exasperated sigh. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what the papers say. But tonight I'm playing one of the good guys. I'm here to rescue a kidnapped Bruce Wayne from the Joker and the Riddler."
"Bruce Wayne has been kidnapped?"
"You don't have to believe me," Catwoman replied pointing to the skylight, "just look for yourself."
Huntress moved cautiously toward the skylight, keeping her crossbow aimed at Catwoman. She peered down and saw that sure enough Catwoman was telling the truth.
"Why should you care if Bruce Wayne is kidnapped?" the tall brunette with the cape asked.
Catwoman sighed again. "Let's just say I have a personal interest." She pulled out the Bat-homing device and showed it to the younger woman. "He has a tracking device on him, that's how I've been following him."
Suddenly, there was another slight noise from another portion of the rooftop. The two woman turned and saw, yet, a third woman. This one was dressed in a skintight black outfit.
An incredulous Catwoman remarked, "This rooftop is getting crowded."
"My tracking device indicates the same thing," the mysterious woman replied.
As the third woman moved closer, Catwoman recognized her as the same woman who Bruce Wayne had been meeting with in the hotel room. Catwoman started, "You're ..."
"Black Widow," the woman replied.
"I've heard of you," Huntress said. "Weren't you a vigilante operating in San Francisco?"
"Da," the woman with the Russian accent confirmed. "I'm here in Gotham City on other business when I apparently stumbled upon these criminals. They abducted Bruce Wayne from right under my nose."
Catwoman pointed to the skylight, "Well, there he is."
The three woman looked at each other and then smiled.
Huntress asked, "Well. what are we going to do about this?"
Catwoman grinned again. "Oh, that's easy! We do -- THIS!!" The incredible woman jumped through the glass of the skylight. The glass rained down on the totally surprised criminals.
With his incredible reflexive agility, Bruce Wayne dived out of the way of the falling glass.
Catwoman, followed by Huntress, and then finally Black Widow landed on the floor between Bruce and the four goons.
One of the henchmen started to ask, "How could you survive that kind of a fal --" The thug never finished the sentence because Catwoman sliced with a chop to the head. She then took his right arm, yanked at it, whirled him half way around and let go. The man spun to the floor, hard, like a top.
Black Widow ran to Bruce Wayne and quickly helped him out of his bonds. He looked up flabbergasted at the redheaded woman. "Miss --"
"Black Widow," she finished for him. "Mr Wayne go to that rear door now!" she ordered as she kicked another henchmen out of her way.
Three more henchmen entered the room followed by the Riddler, the Joker and Harley Quinn.
"We got more company!" Huntress yelled as she slammed another goon to the floor.
The Riddler looked obviously upset at the Joker. "You crazy clown!" he said. "You should've figured every damn female hero in town would come to rescue Bruce Wayne!"
Catwoman caught sight of the Riddler and she focused on him. "Eddie! I'm going to kill you!" she screamed as she started to move toward him.
Knowing he was still in deep trouble with Catwoman for almost killing her in the museum, the Riddler quickly exited through the doorway to escape.
Catwoman's pursuit of the Prince of Puzzlers was blocked by two goons. "GET HER!" One of them yelled.
"In your dreams!" Catwoman replied as she jumped up and kicked one in the face.
The second man swung at her head. She ducked, placed her hand on the floor, spun her body with one leg stuck out and upended her opponent who fell to the floor on his back. Catwoman then jumped back up and landed hard on the man's chest with both of her knees. She heard an audible, "Oof!" as the air was knocked out of the criminal.
Apparently the criminals had been using the hideout as a place to keep stolen merchandise in. Huntress saw a rack of stolen fur coats. The rack had wheels on it. She grabbed the rack and started wheeling it toward three thugs who had armed themselves with pistols.
"This is 'fur' you," Huntress said as she knocked down one by pushing the rack into him. The other two henchmen were able to move out of the way of the rack of coats.
Giggler called out, "Our guns will stop your gags!"
Just a split second before the two villians opened fire, Huntress dived to the floor and rolled herself toward the two criminals. She kicked Giggler in the groin. He moaned in pain as he dropped to the floor quickly, holding himself where he was hurt.
Huntress then grabbed the other thug's gun hand and pulled. She put her boot into his abdomen, rolled on her back and threw the man across the room.
A large number of sirens were heard outside the building. Knowing the location of where Bruce Wayne was being held, Oracle had informed the police.
Harley rushed to a window. "Puddin! The cops are here! What do we do?"
The Joker turned to look for his hostage -- Bruce Wayne. He spotted the billionaire near the rear exit with a black-clad woman he had never seen before. The Clown Prince of Crime started to move meancingly toward Bruce and Black Widow. The redheaded woman raised her left arm and suddenly the Joker was jolted with several thousands volts of electricity, courtesy of Black Widow's taser in her Widow's Bite. The Joker dropped to the floor, unconscious.
Harley dropped to her knees beside the Joker, crying. "Puddin?! Puddin?!" She cradled his head into her lap.
Catwoman started to run toward the door the Riddler had used to escape.
Bruce called out to her, "Catwoman! NO! Come this way!"
She stopped in her tracks. One part of her wanted to chase the Riddler and beat him to a pulp again. But another part of her knew that a large number of policemen would be at the front door of the top floor of the tavern. Her mission had been accomplished. Bruce was safe.
Catwoman looked at the prone Joker being cradled by the sobbing Harley Quinn.
"Let's go!" Bruce ordered as he led the three costumed women out the rear exit and down the stairs.
The Benbow Tavern hideout had been busted. The Joker, Harley Quinn and all their henchmen were taken into custody by the Gotham City Police Department. The Riddler was the only one to remain at large.
To be continued ...