Chapter 3 (Susan and Emily) Part 2: Ross and … Who?

[Author's Note: see episode 7,1 – one of my favourites – if you don't know about "bonus night"]

Ross woke feeling disoriented. This was not his own bed, he knew. Then he began to remember. He opened his eyes to see Carol sitting on the bed in her robe, looking down at him with a smile. But it was not a lover's smile – more maternal, if anything.

He remembered how he had come to be there. When he had arrived at the apartment, they had talked for a while. He had given her all the details on his last conversation with Emily, and she had told him more about what Susan had said. They had discussed possibilities for the future, but always there lay between them, unmentioned, the memory that they had once been husband and wife. She had made up a bed for him in the living room, but he had been unable to sleep, and when he heard her crying he had gone to her. They had turned to each other for comfort, in the end. But now, in the light of day, he knew that comfort had been all it was.

'Last night,' he began, and stopped, not sure what he wanted to say.

'Last night was great,' said Carol, 'but it wasn't about getting together again.'

'No,' he said. 'If this had happened before you two married, it might have been. But … I realised then that it was truly over for us. Last night was like … a bonus night.'

She looked puzzled, and he explained.

Carol shook her head in confusion. 'When we break up, most often it's painful,' she said. 'There's rarely any of the feeling left that would make that possible. I suppose, if you just drifted apart …'

'But you and Susan haven't broken up, have you?' he said. 'Sure, you're mad at her, but you want her back, don't you?'

Carol's face showed pain. 'Yes,' she said softly. 'Yes, I do.'

'Do you know where she's gone?'

'I can make some guesses,' she said. 'I'll ring around. But what about you, Ross? What will you do?' Her expression was very sympathetic.

He shrugged, feeling suddenly rather melancholy. 'Get back in the dating game, I suppose.'

'I thought so,' she said. 'Ross, that's dumb, when there is at least one woman out there that loved you once, and might well be approachable, if not very ready to start over.'

'You mean Rachel,' he said. 'I'm not sure that's going to work.'

'Actually, I was thinking of Julie,' she said. 'Do you see her at all, at conferences and such? Does she ever come to the museum?'

'Yes,' he admitted. 'I see her from time to time.'

'And is she friendly to you?'

'Yes, she always smiles and asks how I am, all that.'

'Do you get the impression she tries to keep you talking?' Carol pursued.

Ross thought about it. 'Maybe.'

'Well, there you are then,' said Carol.  'That suggests that you could easily start something there again, if you wanted to. She might suit you very well: she's a professional like you, she understands, and the only thing you had against her on your famous list was that she wasn't Rachel.'

'You know about that?' said Ross, aghast.

'Of course I know,' said Carol, looking at him with tolerant affection. 'Rachel poured it all out to Monica, of course, and Monica told me. Now Rachel' – Ross tried to speak, but she held up a hand – 'you had feelings for her from the time she came back into your life. She is very attractive, and very sexy. But she's not a great brain, is she? It's a wonder how she got through college, when she seems to treat reading a Vogue article right through as a major intellectual accomplishment. She could never share your interests like Julie, but she has a great capacity for love. She was very much in love with you, in fact, and I don't think, from what I hear, that that's ever quite gone away. So, there you have it: at least two very worthwhile options.'

'Yeah, and let's not forget Bonnie,' said Ross ruminatively.

'Bonnie!' Carol laughed. 'I'm sure you had fun with her, but that wouldn't have lasted, believe me. By what I heard, she was very adventurous sexually, and definitely not the kind to settle down.'

'Maybe all I want is a little fun,' said Ross rather obstinately.

Carol looked at him appraisingly. 'That's what you thought was going on with Emily at first, wasn't it? But you're not like that, Ross, you're not a person who just wants to have fun. You're serious, you want to commit to a relationship and settle down. I know, because I'm like that too. If I hadn't fallen in love with Susan ...' She sighed. 'Well, that's all in the past now, and it's time we got going. Can you wait while I go first in the shower?'

'Sure,' he said. 'It's your apartment. And thanks for the advice, Carol.'

She smiled. 'Consider it payback for being here when I needed someone.'

While she was in the shower, the phone rang, and Ross answered it, from force of habit announcing his own name.

'Ross?' came Susan's voice. 'What are you doing there?'

'Carol asked me to come over,' he explained. 'She, she couldn't bear to be alone.'

'Did you sleep with her?' asked Susan abruptly.

Ross tried to temporise. 'Well –' he began.

Susan gave a cry of anguish and the link was cut, just as Carol came hurrying out of the bathroom.

'Was that her?' she said, her face tense.

Ross nodded. 'She didn't give me a chance to explain.'

'Ross, tell me everything that you said,' said Carol rather fiercely.

When he had done so, she cried 'Ross, you idiot!' with a face of fury, raised her hands as if appealing to heaven, then let them drop again and relaxed her expression.

'I doubt I'd have done any better,' she said, looking at him apologetically.

'Well you wouldn't have had to explain why you were here,' said Ross, trying for a light tone.

She gave a flicker of a grin. 'Okay, now this is still salvageable. Did you get the impression she was ringing from a payphone?'

Ross thought. 'No, she was inside somewhere, I think.'

'Okay, I'll start ringing round,' said Carol. 'This may take a while. Please help yourself to anything you want for breakfast.'

Ross used the bathroom and dressed, then started on breakfast, trying not to listen as Carol's calls began to sound increasingly desperate. Finally, she came to the table, anguish in her face.

'No one will admit to having put her up, or talked to her, or seen her,' she said. 'She has no cellphone. How can I trace her?' Suddenly she broke down. Instantly Ros got up and puts his arms around her. While she sobbed on his shoulder, he tried to think.

'Did Susan, or both of you, ever go to clubs for people like you?' he said when she was beginning to calm down. 'Mightn't she do that, to cheer herself up if for no other reason? That might be the best way to find her, or get news of her.'

Carol looked up at him, sudden hope on her face. 'Ross, that's a great idea. But … I'd have to look in the evenings. What can I do with Ben? I can't leave him with your mother for very long. He wouldn't like it, and this is going to be hard enough to explain to him.'

'I'll look after him,' said Ross. 'Seems the least I can do.'

Carol embraced him. 'Thanks, Ross,' she said softly. 'I'll never forget this.'

When Ross appeared in Central Perk at lunchtime, he looked much better.

'You had a good night's sleep?' said Monica, raising her eyebrows.

Ross couldn't resist it. 'The best!' he said, with one of his high-pitched giggles.

'You slept with Carol?' said Joey, always fast on the uptake where sexual matters were concerned.

The others began to bawl Joey out, but Ross stopped them. 'No, he's right, but it's… not what you might think. We both … needed comfort, but it wasn't about getting back together. We know that's not an option, and Carol wants Susan back. The problem is, Susan found out.'

He explained in more detail what had happened, but Rachel for one was not really paying attention. Her mind was fixed on the thought that Ross was now free. In her period of solitary contemplation the previous night, she had come to realise, and accept, that she wanted him back. Now she could actively work towards it. Her attention focussed again when Ross was explaining that he would be going over to Carol's to look after Ben in the evenings for a while.

'Do you want any help, Ross?' she said. 'I'll be glad to help out.'

Monica and Phoebe exchanged glances. Phoebe winked, and Monica responded with a smirk.

'Why, thanks, Rachel,' said Ross, smiling at her. 'That's an offer that I will gladly take up. I'll be in touch. Well, I gotta get back to work.'

Rachel smiled as she watched him go. It was almost like he was her Ross again. She became aware of Monica and Phoebe looking at her.

'What?' she snapped.

Phoebe just shook her head and giggled, but Monica said, 'How's Joshua? Have you eaten that meal yet, that you 'cooked' for him?'

'Don't bring up Joshua!' said Rachel a bit resentfully. 'Guys, this is serious.'

'Ross and Rachel, Rachel and Ross!' Phoebe chanted gleefully.

'What, are you two together again?' said Joey, looking at Rachel.

'How can they be, you dummy?' Chandler cried. 'Ross only broke up with Emily yesterday, and he was with Carol last night.'

'Gee, yeah, that's right,' said Joey bemusedly. 'So what does Phoebe mean?'

'Seriously, sweetie,' said Monica to Rachel. 'If you were to get back together with Ross, no one would be more pleased than me, but don't you think it's a little soon?'

'I haven't done anything yet,' said Rachel. 'Well, I'm off.' She marched out, rather annoyed with her friends.

Rachel had seldom put more effort into anything than she did into helping Ross look after Ben in the following evenings. Always they went to Carol's, since Ross knew how she would feel about coming back to an empty apartment. They had to tell Ben that mommy Susan had 'gone away', but mommy Carol would bring her back, and by common agreement the blame for everything was laid firmly on Emily. It was a bit of a shock to Ben to discover that grown-ups could do bad things, but in the way of small children he quickly absorbed this and forgot about it. Rachel soon found that she genuinely enjoyed playing with Ben and looking after him, and to her secret elation she noticed that Ross would often watch them approvingly. She also relished the walks home with him, when they talked quietly of this and that, and felt that a sense of intimacy was developing between them again. They shared stories about their work, and Ross paid more attention to her than she remembered him doing before. She felt that he was beginning to treat her as a full adult, with responsibilities that mattered. Only once did he ask about Joshua, and she was able to tell him truthfully that it had not worked out. She had in fact found that the possibility of Ross meant more to her than the actuality of Joshua, and had gently explained as much to Joshua when they met a final time in Central Perk.

Usually, Carol was only gone an hour or two, but there came a night when she was late getting back. They put Ben to bed, assuring him that mommy Carol would come back, and were wondering how long they would have to wait, when the door opened and a triumphant-looking Carol entered, pulling Susan behind her. Both seemed in high spirits, but when Susan saw Ross  she turned to Carol accusingly.

'He's here!' she hissed.

'So am I,' said Rachel. 'We're both here to look after Ben, nothing else.'

'You're together again?' said Susan in surprise.

'Well, no,' Ross began, but Rachel overrode him.

'No,' she said firmly, then, summoning up her courage and taking a deep breath, 'but I would like to be.'

Ross turned to her, his mouth open in shock. Rachel looked back at him steadily.

'I know this isn't the way it's supposed to happen. But I have a history of letting you know that I have feelings for you, and now I don't want to wait. We've wasted too long as it is. So what do you say, Ross?' Despite herself, her body tensed. Now she would find out if it had been worth all the effort. She could hardly bear to contemplate the thought that it might not have been.

'I, I don't know what to say,' he stammered; then he grinned. 'This is so sudden, Miss Green,' he fluted, in a parody of a maiden in a Victorian novel.

Behind the joke she could see seriousness in his eyes. Suddenly he held out his arms, and she walked steadily into them, only just stopping herself from running. Carol started to applaud, joined by Susan. Ross looked at them, beaming all over his face.

'I sincerely hope you two are back together too, and stay together,' he said. 'Susan, I'm sorry about the other night – '

Susan waved her hands. 'Ross, you have nothing to feel sorry for. You had far more excuse than I did. There's just one thing …' She looked at Carol, who seemed rather embarrassed.

'Ross,' she said, 'you do realise that we didn't use protection that night?'

'Oh my God,' said Ross softly. 'But you can't know you're pregnant yet, surely?' He looked at Rachel as if appealing for understanding. She simply smiled and hugged his arm, as Carol said,

'No, and there's no guarantee that I will be. But we thought it best that you should be prepared for the possibility.'

'It would be good for Ben to have a sibling,' said Ross thoughtfully. He turned to Susan. 'How are you on this?'

Susan looked pleased to be asked. 'I think it's great, though I had been thinking of having a child myself. But there'll be time for that.' She looked at Carol lovingly, then she turned back to Ross. 'I want to thank you for all you've done for Carol and Ben, Ross. I hope that you and I will get on better from now on; I certainly want to.'

Just then Ben ran into the room with a cry of 'Mommy Susan!' and threw his arms round her. Instantly chaos broke out, as he began demanding tearfully that she never go away like that again, she tried to reassure him, and Carol also started trying to calm him down. Ross indicated to Rachel that they should leave, and with nods and waves they made a quick exit.

When they were outside, Ross took Rachel's hand. 'You know what I think?' he said. 'I think we should take this nice and slow, as we have been doing. We should give ourselves time to get used to each other again. We've been apart for a long time.'

'That's fine with me,' said Rachel. 'Just so long as we're together.' She looked at her watch. 'It's late, but … will you walk me back to the apartment, the way you usually do?'

He smiled at her. 'I'd like nothing better.'

It was no surprise to their friends when Ross and Rachel announced that they were back together again. What was surprising was how they were behaving. Though obviously in love, they were not, as Joey characteristically put it, 'all over each other'. Ross did not spend the night in Rachel's bedroom, nor did Rachel stay over in Ross's apartment. It was not clear whether they were having sex at all. When they went out together, as often as not it was to visit Carol and Susan, at Rachel's urging, to see Ben, to whom she was rapidly becoming more than the friend of his 'aunt Mon'ca.'

Even more remarkable was Rachel's reaction when it came out that Carol was indeed pregnant. She displayed not a trace of jealousy or resentment, but seemed genuinely pleased that Ross was having a second child by his ex-wife, saying to Monica and Phoebe that when you understood the circumstances, you could not blame him or Carol for anything.

'It's a good outcome to what was a bad time for both of them,' she added. 'And those kids are going to be so lucky! They'll have Ross for a dad, and three mommies!'

'But you're not even engaged,' Phoebe objected.

'Give it time,' said Rachel easily. 'I'm quite clear what I want out of life now, and I think I have a very good chance of getting it. In fact, I feel sure it will happen, if I avoid putting pressure on Ross. He's been through a lot, you know, and this is another shock for him. He needs time to adjust to it all.'

'You have grown,' said Monica approvingly. 'Well, I certainly think it will work out for you. I only wish I could be so lucky.'

'You don't want to get together with any of your old boyfriends, do you?' said Rachel in some surprise. 'Certainly not Fun Bobby, nor Pete … is it Richard?'

'No,' said Monica, looking away. 'It's none of them.'

Rachel looked at her with sympathetic understanding. 'Just give him some encouragement, Mon,' she said. 'Don't keep suggesting he's not boyfriend material. I think that's all it would take.'

'What? Who?' said Phoebe, and then a look of understanding came onto her face too, and she nodded at Rachel and smiled. 'Yeah, you're right,' she said, 'and Monica's right too. You really have grown, Rach. I'm, like, impressed.'

Rachel grinned at her. 'I've been through it a bit too. Sometimes it helps you to grow. Now, Ben's birthday's coming up, Mon, so what are we going to get him?'

(Okay, no "what happened to them next" stuff in this one, but anyone is welcome to take this story further!)