Chapter 4: Janice and Gunther

[Author's Note: I know there is no warrant for this in any episode, but the idea jumped into my head, and I think I have been able to use it in a way that might please a lot of people, though it goes back into what is by now the prehistory of Ross and Rachel's relationship. I intend it partly as a reminder that minor characters in Friends can be expected to have normal human feelings, and that they are in the best position to see the flaws in the major characters. The action starts after Episode 3,8, when Chandler and Janice break up]

It was some time before Janice got around to returning to Central Perk to retrieve the shoe that Chandler had seized in a vain attempt to detain her. For a while she couldn't even bear the thought of going to the place where, for a while, she had been so happy in Chandler's company, and she was preoccupied anyway with trying to re-establish a relationship with Gary. It quickly became clear that this was not going to work, depressing her further. She was at a loose end, having no work worth speaking of. She had given it up to have a child, and had not been able to revive many of the contacts she had had, while Gary had hired a full-time nanny, who was very firm about having primary responsibility for the child. This had made it easier for Janice at the time she was seeing Chandler and she had not objected; now she found herself sidelined. She was still living with Gary, but felt it was only a matter of time before she moved out again. With a lot of time on her hands, she decided one day to go to see if the missing shoe was still in Central Perk.

She decided to go in mid-afternoon, when none of Chandler's group of friends was likely to be there. At least they had tried to hide their antipathy the last time she was with Chandler, but she knew that it was only for his sake. If she was honest with herself, she was not all that sold on them either. Monica was bossy and managing, as well as being the complete neat-freak, Rachel lazy and rather vain, Ross far too fond of telling people things they didn't want to know in the most boring way, and Joey – she had never understood why Joey was quite so freaked out by her, but he undoubtedly was, while she found him far too fond of his attraction to women anas well as unbelievably dumb. Phoebe was the least cold of them towards her, but she was undoubtedly a bit weird and sometimes hard to take.

She was in luck: none of them were there. The man who always seemed to be behind the counter – Gunther, that was his name, she remembered – was looking particularly morose. She decided to be completely upfront with him.

'Gunther, you remember me, Janice, Chandler's old girlfriend?' she said breezily. 'I left a shoe here some time ago; Chandler grabbed it off me. Might he have left it here?'

'I remember,' he said. 'I'll get the box of mislaid items.'

He returned with a large box, and to her delight the shoe was there.

'Thanks,' she said effusively. 'Say, you're looking really down.'

'Rachel quit,' he said, as if that explained everything. 'She still comes in for coffee – but it's not the same.'

She looked at him sympathetically. 'Got a crush on her, huh?'

He nodded dolefully. 'Worse than yours on Chandler.'

'It wasn't just a crush,' she corrected. 'We were in love, truly. But look, Gunther, you're never going to get to first base with Rachel. Ross has the inside track there.'

His mouth twitched into a small smile. 'Mixed metaphors there. But anyway, things aren't going so well for him now. She got this job in Bloomingdale's, and he's getting all bent out of shape over it, because some man helped her get it and he keeps thinking there's something between them, and his jealousy is irritating the hell out of her.' He suddenly looked at Janice in surprise. 'Why am I telling you all this?'

'Clearly, you need to tell someone,' she said, 'and I can lend a sympathetic ear. Got nothing else to do.' She gave one of her laughs. 'But hey, if you're so keen on Rachel, why didn't you make a move before she got together with Ross, which took some time, the way I heard it?'

Gunther looked sheepish, sighed, and mumbled something.

'Couldn't work up to it, eh?' she said. 'I don't blame you. It took Ross long enough, and he's known her all his life. She's so attractive, it might unnerve any guy. And she does rather tend to take you for granted, like you're part of the furniture.'

He frowned, and his face darkened. 'The times I went to bat for her with Terry!'

She nodded. The germ of an idea was forming in her head.

'You replaced her, right?'

He nodded.

'Can you use any more help?'

'I can always fit another part-timer in,' he said. 'People call in sick, or they have family problems, or some damn thing; it helps to have extras. Why, are you interested?'

'Gimme a big coffee,' she said, 'and we'll talk it over. I have an idea that might interest you.'

It took some talking to persuade Gunther to consider what she had in mind, but the opportunity to give Chandler's group a bit of a jolt was tempting to him. Rachel wan't the only one who treated him like part of the furniture, and he did not like the way those who knew of it considered his crush on her a bit of a joke. Finally he agreed, and Janice got out of Central Perk just before Monica and Phoebe walked in; she perceived them coming down the sidewalk in time to turn away.

Next day, when they walked into Central Perk with Joey around mid-morning, none having any work at that time, they noticed that Gunther was looking unusually cheerful. Phoebe, always ready to be direct, asked him why.

'Got a new waitress,' he beamed. 'Old acquaintance of yours, in fact.'

Janice came out of the back room. 'Heeey, you guys!' she said with maximum enthusiasm. 'Surprise, surprise!'

The effect was all she had hoped. Monica looked as if she was restraining an urge to vomit, Joey as if his worst fear had materialised in front of him; Phoebe, the most restrained, still looked like she could smell something bad.

'You're working here?' said Joey in disbelief.

'I'm going to, sometimes,' said Janice airily. 'I don't need the money right now, but maybe I will soon – things aren't working out between me and Gary – and I need something to do. I like to get out and meet people, and it will be a bonus to see you guys all the time!' It was a real effort for her to hold in the laughter at his lame attempt to suppress an expression of horror.

'Won't … won't it hurt, seeing Chandler?' asked Monica.

'Well, a bit, maybe,' said Janice, 'but I'm a big girl. I can handle it.' She laughed, secretly enjoying their winces. 'Does he have anyone else yet?' she tossed out casually.

'Not that we know of,' said Phoebe curtly.

Quickly they collected coffees and went to sit in their usual place. At first, they appeared to be so stunned they couldn't think of anything to say. Later, they communicated in furious whispers. She guessed they were discussing whether they should stop coming to Central Perk. The effort to restrain her laughter was beginning to be too much, especially when Gunther began making bursting noises as he tried to stifle laughter.

'You were right,' he muttered. 'This is definitely the funniest thing I've seen for a long time.' He leaned over the counter and broke into a high-pitched laugh, which became a cough when Phoebe and Monica turned to look. That and their expressions pushed Janice over the edge: hand over mouth, she hastened into the back room, where she was taken over by a kind of fit of laughter for quite a while before she could get control of herself.

When she came out they had gone. 'They looked kind of mad,' said Gunther. 'I'm afraid they may have cottoned on to our little scheme.'

'No matter,' she said. 'I still have to see the effect on Ross and Rachel, and Chandler too.' She did not reveal her real motive, the hope that Chandler's feelings for her would revive when he saw her.

She was back in the late afternoon, in time to get a repeat performance from Phoebe, Monica and Joey, who had obviously hoped that she would be off-shift, with the bonus of Ross's and Rachel's reactions when they saw her. She had to go into the back room, shut the door, and let out another whoop. When she came out, Gunther sidled up to her.

'We could still hear you,' he said, grinning. 'You'd better have a good excuse ready, if they ask you what was so funny.' He winked.

'Thanks for the warning,' she replied, grinning back at him and thinking irrelevantly that he was really not all that bad when he was looking cheerful, and he ought to do it more often.

Then her heart leaped as Chandler entered. He went to his friends first, with a cheery greeting. Evidently they told him that she was there, for he turned to look. She met his gaze squarely, trying to smile naturally and project loving feelings. Everything else seemed to fade into the background as their eyes met. But there was nothing in his eyes for her. After a moment, he abruptly turned away and sat down where he would not have to look at her. She heard him say, 'Joe, get me an espresso, would you? I don't want to go near the counter when she's there.'

Janice stood frozen amid the wreckage of her dreams. She had lost count of how many times Chandler had dumped her, but this was the one that hurt most, for she could sense that it was final. She had never cried before, but now she could not hold back. Slowly she turned, to go to the back room, hardly able to see as the tears began to flow but desperate to get there before she began to bawl out loud. She felt Gunther pat her on the shoulder as she stumbled forward, groping for a handkerchief.

All the friends except Chandler watched her go.

'Serves her right for laughing at us,' said Monica rather vindictively.

'You know,' said Phoebe slowly, 'I think that sometimes we deserve to be laughed at. And Janice is, like, a person, with feelings that have a right to be taken seriously. I don't find this so funny.' She picked up her coffee and turned away.

Rachel felt herself prompted by these words to a surprising thought. All along they had viewed Janice as an irritating appendage of Chandler's, not as a person in her own right. She found herself wondering how she would feel if she and Ross broke up for some reason when they were still in love, and then they met again and Ross looked at her as Chandler had looked at Janice. A lump rose in her throat and her eyes pricked as she saw Janice bury her face in a handkerchief before passing out of sight. Suddenly she jumped to her feet and hurried to the back room past a startled Gunther, to find Janice seated on a stool, sobbing helplessly into the handkerchief. She knelt and put her arms round her.

Janice turned and looked at her in surprise. 'R-rachel?' she stammered.

'I know how I'd feel, if it were me and Ross,' Rachel said. 'I really am sorry for you.'

'Th-thanks, Rachel,' Janice gasped, and then the tears came back. Rachel held her close and made soothing noises, patting her back.

Finally Janice calmed down. 'It really hurt him when we broke up last time, didn't it?' she said softly.

'Yes,' said Rachel simply. 'The way I see it, he'd always broken it off with you before, but this time, although it was his suggestion, because of your kid, it was your acceptance of his suggestion that dealt the final blow.' She looked at Janice sadly. 'I'm afraid, it's over for ever this time.'

Janice gave a great gulp, and fought down the urge to burst out crying again. She saw Gunther hovering in the background.

'Are you going to be okay?' said Rachel, looking at her anxiously.

Janice heaved a great sigh. 'I guess. You can go back to your friends. Thanks again, Rachel.'

Gunther looked after Rachel with an expression of love. 'The only one to show any sympathy! Isn't she wonderful?'

Janice shook her head. 'I used not to think so, to tell you the truth. She always seemed a bit spoilt to me. But I'll never forget that she did this.'

Gunther looked obstinate, but he did not comment further on Rachel, saying instead, 'I guess you won't be wanting to continue?'

Janice thought for a moment. 'No, that's what they want, to see me gone. I won't give them that satisfaction. I said I was coming in some days, and that's what I'll do. Only we'll vary it, so they'll never know when to expect me – that is, if it's okay with you. Then you can watch Rachel, and I can watch Chandler.'

Gunther looked pleased. 'I'd be glad of the company. Somehow, I never talk to the other waitresses much.'

So Janice became a fixture at Central Perk, and the friends became used to her presence; they didn't even notice when her shifts became regular. Monica and the three men were still made uneasy by it, particularly Chandler, but Rachel would smile and occasionally exchange pleasantries, often concerning their shared experience of waiting there, and Phoebe would nod and occasionally greet her in a fairly affable way. Janice never went over to talk to them, but she made sure that whatever they ordered was as good and as efficiently provided as possible. Being something of a cook, she would occasionally bake cakes or cookies and take them in, when she would offer them free to any of the friends who were around. When Gunther expressed surprise at this, she said it was called heaping coals of fire on your enemy's head.

'Not that they're enemies, really,' she said. 'But they could be more friendly, so I'm goosing them a little. Just see how uncomfortable it makes most of them to say thank you.' She did one of her laughs, and Gunther winced. Noticing this, she kept a check, and realised that he often winced when she laughed. Feeling that she owed him something for being so helpful and supportive, she made an effort to control her laughter.

Gunther soon found that he looked forward to the days when Janice was there. He found her good company, once you got past the voice. She could talk seriously or lightly to suit the occasion; she was a good waitress, who built something of a rapport with a lot of customers; and, as he began to notice, she was really rather attractive. For her part, Janice found both the job and Gunther increasingly interesting, and sometimes wished he could get over his obsession with Rachel, as she had finally got over Chandler.

One morning when she went in, she found him beaming all over his face.

'Why so happy?' she said. 'Did you get laid last night?' His lack of success in this area was a recurrent topic of conversation.

'No, worse luck,' he said, grinning a little lopsidedly. 'But I have got the goods on Ross. He slept with another woman last night.'

'What, what?' said Janice, shocked. 'Why would he do that?'

'Oh, apparently he and Rachel had a fight,' he said casually. 'It was hot Chloe at the copy shop. She told her co-worker Isaac, and he told his sister, who is my room-mate, and she told me.'

'Mm,' said Janice. 'They have been having problems … but I don't see why a fight would make him go and do that.'

'Well, it was a really big fight,' said Gunther. 'And apparently she suggested at the end of it that they should have a break. He poured it all out to Chloe.' He grinned. 'I'm going to tell her.'

Janice's brows came right down. 'You will do no such thing, if you've got any sense,' she said sharply. 'Not only do you not know the full circumstances, but it won't get you anywhere with her. If they break up for real over it, she'll always associate you with the breakup, and that means you'll never ever have the remotest chance with her.'

Gunther's face changed. 'I never thought of that,' he said. 'But I don't suppose I am ever going to get anywhere with her, so maybe I'll do it anyway.'

Janice lost her temper. 'If you think you'll never get anywhere with her, why do it at all? Think how bad it'll make her feel. That's cruel, Gunther. And why go on being obsessed with these hopeless dreams about her, when you could be trying to get to know a real woman who might accept you? I beg you not to do it.'

Gunther looked at her in surprise, and then understanding dawned on his face. 'You're trying to pay her back for being sympathetic when you broke up with Chandler.'

'Right,' she snapped. 'I told you I'd never forget that. I'm not gonna let you do this, Gunther.'

'Okay, I won't tell her,' he said, 'On one condition …'

'Which is?' she said.

'That you go on a date with me,' he said, grinning rather cheekily. 'Whether or not you're the real woman you spoke of.'

'Well, I wasn't thinking of me, precisely,' she said, but she was smiling. 'But sure, I'll go on a date.'

He answered her smile. 'This evening, we could close up a bit early.' She nodded.

When Rachel came in near lunchtime, she was looking rather distracted. As it happened, Janice was free behind the counter, as Gunther was creating some incredibly complicated version of coffee for a demanding customer.

'Oh, I did an awful thing last night, Janice,' she said. 'It was meant to be our anniversary, but I fought with Ross, and then Mark came over, and I'm afraid Ross thought I was cheating on him. I did leave him a message, and I saw him this morning, and I hope everything will be okay, but I feel so guilty.'

Janice looked at her sympathetically. 'He's not adjusting well to you having a responsible job,' she commented. 'But maybe this will clear the air a bit. To be honest, I think he needed a bit of a jolt, to get him to see you as an adult.'

Rachel smiled at her and went to wait for Ross. He came in next, seeming a dreadful hurry, and rushed to the counter. Before he could say anything, Janice exclaimed, 'Hi Ross!' in a cheerful manner. 'Rachel's here already.'

Ross looked over his shoulder, to see Rachel wave at him. He waved back, then leaned forward. His face was haggard. In that moment, Janice felt truly sorry for him.

'You were drunk, weren't you?' she muttered.

He went even whiter than he already was. 'You know?'

'Gunther told me,' Janice said, keeping her voice low. 'But don't worry. Your secret is safe with us. Go and make it up with her, Ross. It's up to you whether she finds out.'

All the tension went out of Ross's face. 'Bless you, Janice,' he said, 'and you too, Gunther,' turning to him. 'I owe you a very big one.' He hurried over to Rachel.

'What's the most complicated thing Ross ever drinks?' said Janice, turning to Gunther.

'Oh, he never has anything much more complicated than a big latte,' said Gunther, 'but if you're thinking of pretending he was ordering something, maybe we could throw in some cookies, as if he ordered for them both.'

Janice looked at him. 'That's big of you, Gunther.'

Gunther shrugged. 'I … the guy looked bad. I sort of felt sorry for him. Whether he can keep it hidden … But I'm not going to tell, anyway, my mind's made up on that. Besides,' he grinned at her, 'now I have a real live date with an attractive woman, somehow the whole thing doesn't seem so important.'

Janice beamed at him. 'That's the spirit. Okay, let's rustle up some stuff, but we'd better be fast.'

'Luckily, I'm doing a big latte already,' he said. 'The guy can wait.'

Janice hurried over, saying loudly, 'Here's the stuff you ordered, Ross. Enjoy.'

He looked surprised for a moment, then understanding dawned. 'Thanks, Janice,' he said with some emphasis. Then he turned back to Rachel eagerly. Glancing at her, Janice hoped she had not picked up on anything unusual. Certainly, by the time others of their friends showed up, they were holding hands.

'Well, it looks like we did it,' Janice said to Gunther a while later.

'We haven't covered everything,' said Gunther. 'Jasmine my room-mate works with Phoebe, but there's nothing we can do about that now. You thnik Rachel will be happier not knowing?'

'Look how happy she is now,' said Janice. 'No, you were right, it's Ross we have to worry about. He's really quite a moral guy. It may eat him up. But that's his problem. Now, what had you in mind for this evening?'

It was close to the time that they had set for closing up, and Central Perk was virtually empty, when Rachel stormed in and marched straight up to the counter.

'You knew!' she blazed at them. 'You knew and you didn't tell me!'

'Oh oh,' said Gunther quietly.

'Yes, we knew,' said Janice calmly. 'I persuaded Gunther not to tell, so blame me, not him. How did you find out?'

'We were having our anniversary dinner, a day late,' said Rachel, 'and, and everything was going so well, and, and,' she began to sob, 'he burst out crying and told me! I ran out.'

Janice rushed out from behind the counter and took hold of her. 'Did he tell you everything?' she said. 'How miserable he was, thinking you meant it to be over for ever? How he got drunk? No, I don't suppose he got the chance.'

'What difference does it make?' Rachel sobbed. 'He still did it.'

'Sweetheart, men do stupid things when they're drunk,' said Janice. Gunther was hovering; she waved him away, and went on, 'Very stupid things. In fact, they do stupid things when they're sober, too; men just naturally have a tendency to do stupid things. That's why we have to be the grown-ups a lot of the time, and make allowances for their tendency to do stupid things. If you had seen the guy like we did, you would know that he felt so guilty … so ashamed. And, if you think about it, it is is a very good sign that he felt he had to tell you. He couldn't bear deceiving you, even though it threatened everything he wanted.'

'Mm,' Rachel went. She had stopped sobbing and was evidently listening, though her face was still buried in Janice's shoulder.

'And another thing,' Janice whispered. 'If you forgive him, you get a tremendous moral advantage. Now maybe a woman shouldn't have that over her man, but there are circumstances in which it might be useful, as long as you don't keep throwing it in his face. But most of all, you should think about this: do you want him? You know now that he has faults, if your fights haven't shown you that already. Well, never expect a man to be perfect, is my advice.

'And one final thing, in case you're feeling too self-righteous: this is partly your fault. You should never have suggested that you should have a break, or let Mark come and see you. It gave Ross all the wrong signals. Remember: if it had been Joey, he would have been after another woman within the hour. It took drink, and thinking about Mark being with you, to drive Ross to it.'

Rachel pulled back from her and looked her in the face. 'Yes,' she said. 'I can see now, I did contribute to it.' She heaved a deep sigh. 'Okay, I'll forgive him – but it better not happen again, ever,' she added fiercely.

'I don't think it will,' said Janice. 'Look, here he is now.'

Ross stood in the doorway, looking even worse than on the previous day. 'Tell him,' Janice hissed. 'Don't keep him on the hook, tell him.'

'It's okay, Ross,' Rachel said, her voice trembling slightly. 'I can see why you did it. I still wish you hadn't, but I want to try to put it behind us.'

Ross surged forward and swept her into his arms. 'Rachel, I'll never, never do something like that again,' he said. 'It was … I was just so miserable.' He suddenly began to sob. Rachel took his head onto her shoulder and began to stroke it. She looked back at Janice and nodded, smiling slightly.

Gunther cleared his throat. 'Sorry to bother you, but we were just about to close up,' he said, then, proudly, 'Janice and I are going on a date.'

This was enough to divert the attention of both Ross and Rachel.

'No, really?' said Rachel, eyes sparkling. 'Well, good luck to you both.'

'Yes,' said Ross with heavy sincerity. 'You deserve it, both of you.'

From that day on, neither Ross nor Rachel would hear a word against Janice or Gunther from their friends, not that these were disposed to voice many when they heard the full story. Monica, in particular, was almost embarrassingly apologetic to Janice for having been so cold towards her. To divert her, Janice asked for a cake recipe, and they found common ground in talk of cookery. Phoebe just hugged her, next time she was in, and said that she always knew there was more to her than met the eye. Joey and Chandler did nothing special, but just acted in a much more friendly way towards her; Chandler seemed particularly pleased to know that she was dating someone else.

Ross and Rachel had other fights, but they were never so serious, and when they finally got married a year later, Janice was a bridesmaid and Gunther an honoured guest. The relationship between Janice and Gunther also prospered. Neither was precisely a loser, but their quirks of character and behaviour had made them rather unusual, and unattractive to many people; they found it extremely satisfying to be truly liked by another person, and in such a situation love was almost bound to follow. Eventually, with Terry's agreement, Janice became co-manager of Central Perk, and after much pressure from the friends, particularly Ross and Rachel, they agreed to take some time off and get married. All the friends came to their wedding, and they continued to frequent Central Perk as often as they could. When Janice gave way to her natural inclinations and produced her raucous laugh from time to time, they just smiled indulgently.