Part 2

[Author's Note: Sorry this has taken so long, but at first I wasn't sure how it was going to go, and there will have to be a third part, as it now appears. Thanks for one nice review, alely7]

Ross was so nervous about Julie's reception by the others, especially Rachel, that he got to Central Perk before anyone else. In fact, Rachel was the last to arrive. Ross looked at her so apprehensively that she couldn't help giggling.

'Ross, it's okay,' she said. 'I'm not going to do anything, or say anything, to make things difficult with Julie. Relax.'

Ross smiled reluctantly, not looking totally convinced, but just at that moment Julie arrived. She looked around and beamed in response to their greetings.

'It's great to see you all again,' she said. 'I must say, it doesn't seem like the best part of two years since I was here last. You all look exactly the same, except you, Rachel – you look even better.' This was accompanied by such a warm smile that Rachel felt quite taken aback and could only stammer, 'Thanks, Julie.'

She was even more surprised when Julie came to sit on the arm of the couch next to her and said, 'I hear you got a new job.'

'Yes, I've been working in the buyers' department at Bloomingdale's for some time now,' Rachel replied.

'That must be so great for you,' said Julie. 'I remember how interested in fashion you were.' She seemed so genuinely pleased that Rachel felt quite disarmed for a moment.

'The job has its ups and downs,' she said. 'Sometimes you have to work late. But it's so great to find something that I can do and enjoy doing. You must feel the same with paleontology.'

'Right,' said Julie, 'and that has its boring times too. Say, is there room for me on the couch? This arm is not as comfortable as it looks.'

'I guess we could squeeze you in,' said Rachel cheerfully. 'Slide along there, guys.'

Monica and Phoebe shifted along, and they managed to fit Julie onto the end. Since she was small, this was not too difficult, but it was certainly rather intimate. But Julie did not seem to mind being so close to Rachel at all.

'This is cosy,' she said, smiling at her.

Rachel noticed that Ross, sitting in the chair across from Julie's end of the couch, was looking rather irritated. 'I think Ross is feeling neglected,' she whispered to Julie.

Julie giggled. 'Aw, am I neglecting you, Ross?' she said teasingly. She reached across to pat him on the knee. 'There, there. It's just so nice to catch up with your friends. So, how's the acting going, Joey?'

Joey began to hold forth on his latest acting work, and Julie listened with every appearance of interest. But before too long she switched her attention to Chandler, and by the time Ross said they really must go or they'd miss their reservation she had caught up with everyone.

As she got up, she looked around smiling and said, 'This was fun. I'll be dropping by again.' She looked particularly at Monica and Rachel, and winked. 'Perhaps we could do some shopping together.'

Rachel's mouth dropped open in surprise. When they had gone, she turned to Monica and said, 'Did you catch that? I'm sure she was referring to that time you went to Bloomingdale's with her and I got so upset. She's up to something.'

'How would she know about that?' Monica objected. 'Rach, you're making too much of it. She just wants to be friends.'

'With me?' said Rachel incredulously. 'The woman who took her man away?'

'But she knows you and Ross aren't together any more,' said Monica. 'It shouldn't be an issue.'

Rachel looked unconvinced, but said no more.

Ross did not feel that the date with Julie was going very well. Her attention seemed to keep wandering, as if she was constantly thinking of something. Finally, after he had recalled her from wherever she was for the fourth time, she focussed on him and sighed.

'I'm sorry, Ross, it's just not working,' she said apologetically. 'I don't know about you, but I can't relight the spark.'

'You seem to have something on your mind,' he said.

'Well, I do,' she admitted. 'Partly it is this, that we're not clicking. Can we … can we just be friends? And … would you mind if I dropped in at Central Perk now and again? I do like your sister and your friends, but I would enjoy the opportunity to talk with you about our work, also. Now I'm going to be in New York for a while, as a Senior Research fellow at the U., I want a gang to hang out with. I've lost a lot of my old contacts, after all the time I've been away on digs, and the other paleontologists at the U. are old married people – we don't have anything in common.'

'Sure, I'd like that, ' said Ross sincerely, 'especially to talk about our work. You may think my friends are great, but try to talk to any of them about anything academic and they tune out instantly.'

She laughed. 'I recognise the problem. My family are just the same.'

Suddenly they were getting along a whole lot better, uniting in cheerful abuse of their resolutely non-academic families and friends. Ross felt at ease, and recognised that it had probably been a mistake to try to start again with Julie. Just to be friends with her again was great, and relieved him of the pangs of guilt that he occasionally felt about the way that he had behaved.

In the following weeks Julie began to take an increasing part in the life of the friends. She was quickly recognised to perform a valuable service in diverting to herself Ross's occasional urge to talk about dinosaurs and similar mind-erodingly boring topics. She professed a love of action movies, claiming to have cut her teeth on Jackie Chan, and would happily join Joey and Chandler in watching videos, but she was equally keen to watch what they dismissed as 'chick flicks' with the women. She enticed Monica and Rachel into several shopping expeditions, on the grounds that she needed a whole new wardrobe after being away so long. She even endeared herself to Phoebe by willingly discussing Chinese beliefs about the magical and mystical with her, with apparently complete seriousness.

The other friends were soon behaving as if Julie was a seventh member of the group, and even Rachel found herself disarmed by Julie's often effervescent displays of friendliness and enthusiasm. For a while there remained at the back of her mind a tiny worry that all could not be as it seemed, but this eventually disappeared. It did not seem to her possible that Julie could be faking all this, and more and more she found herself thinking of Julie as a real friend, who lacked the occasional freakiness of Monica and the weirdness of Phoebe, and could even make talk of her professional work sound interesting to Rachel, in a way that Ross had never been able to do.

For a while, by unspoken consent, they avoided talk of Ross, but it was impossible to keep away from this for ever. It was in fact Julie who initiated it. One Sunday when they were on their own in Central Perk, when most of the others were off watching a movie that neither wanted to see, and Phoebe was doing something on her own, she said, 'I never got the full story on why you and Ross broke up, Rachel. Do you mind telling me? It would help me to understand what's going on between you two.'

'I don't know why you should think anything is going on,' said Rachel a bit shortly. 'I certainly don't think so.'

Julie looked at her with a somewhat sceptical expression. 'As they sometimes say in England, I believe you, but thousands wouldn't. There's something there, some link between you, even though you use it half the time to goose each other.'

'Well, it's hard, when you've been together for a whole year,' said Rachel, feeling uneasy and beginning to stammer a bit. 'There's bound to be some, some left-over feelings. But I'm, I'm really over him, I really am!'

'Methinks the lady doth protest too much,' said Julie wryly, adding 'That's from Hamlet,' when Rachel looked bemused. 'You're trying to persuade yourself,' she went on, 'but, looking at it from the outside and coming new to it, as it were, it doesn't look that way to me.'

'I, I …' Rachel began, and then she grabbed for a handkerchief. 'Oh Julie, why did you bring this up?' she wailed. 'It's so hard, to think that you've made a dreadful mistake that you can never undo!'

'What mistake?' said Julie, leaning forward intently.

'That goddamn letter!' Rachel sobbed. 'I had got to where I was ready to take him back, I had more or less admitted that I still loved him, and then I had to go and throw it all away, when I knew how touchy he was about the original break-up.'

Julie was looking mystified. 'Now this is why I asked,' she said. 'I don't know much about this.'

She moved to sit next to Rachel and put an arm round her as she continued to sob.

'Rachel,' she said, 'I'm going to make a confession. For a while, I really hated you, and when I met Ross again and made friendly with him, it was with some idea of getting to where I could get some of my own back on you.'

Rachel stopped sobbing, pulled away from her, and sat up straight, looking at her open-mouthed. Julie looked directly back at her. 'I'm not exactly proud of this,' she said, 'but you have to see it from my point of view – and to remember that you have behaved similarly. Do you think I didn't spot that you were trying to hold up my big night with Ross? I'm not that dumb. But I outplayed you, then.'

Rachel began to speak, but Julie held up a hand. 'Just let me finish,' she said. 'Then you can yell at me if you want. What I want to say is, the friendship that has developed between us these past weeks has been real. I have given up those ideas. You are just too likable, and anyway, I have begun to feel a bit sorry for you, because anyone can see you want to get back with Ross but are too proud to let him know that, this time. So that's why I asked for the whole story – because I want to try to help. Indeed, why don't you tell me everything from the beginning? You haven't done this to anyone outside the group, have you? Not even your mother? I'm here to listen, as someone who has not been involved with you both for a long time. Maybe I could even suggest something you could do.'

She stopped and looked at Rachel expectantly. Rachel opened her mouth and then shut it again. What Julie had said was making her think. She looked down, and fidgeted, as she realised that there was something she ought to say, since Julie had been so honest with her.

'Julie,' she muttered, still looking down, 'I'm sorry for what I did then. I can't say I'm sorry for telling Ross that I had feelings for him, because it just seemed so impossible not to, and anyway I was drunk when I sent him that closure message, but I am sorry for trying to sabotage your relationship with him. I did that more than you know, and it's not something I'm particularly proud of, now.' She looked at her hands, trying desperately not to burst out crying again.

Julie's arm came around her shoulder, and she kissed her gently on the cheek. 'That was well done,' Julie said softly. 'Now we are square. Try not to cry; just tell me the story, and let's see if we can learn something from it all. That is, if you are willing to admit that you do still have feelings for Ross and would like something to happen between you again. To be honest, I think he feels that way too, but like you he just won't admit it.'

'Oh, do you think so?' Rachel cried, forgetting her tears in her sudden excitement. 'Oh Julie, do you really think that?'

'Of course,' said Julie, seeming a little offended. 'I wouldn't have said it otherwise. Please believe me, Rachel. I have given up all ideas of trying to set you, or Ross, up for something. I want to see you guys happy.'

'Oh, I'm sorry, Julie,' said Rachel, 'but I've never been certain if he felt anything for me any more. I think that's partly why I have a dig at him occasionally – to get some reaction that might tell me, though it never does,' she ended sadly.

'And that's probably why he does it to you,' said Julie, 'and you never get the reaction you want because he's as stubborn as you about showing it. Okay, the story.'

Rachel needed no further encouragement. She poured it all out, from the time she had run away from her wedding onwards. It was, as Julie had indicated it would be, a relief to tell it all to someone who had not been there and so would think that they did not need to be told half of it. Julie never let her attention wander, though she interrupted the flow from time to time to order more coffee, and once some cookies. When she came to the end, Rachel was dry, for all the coffee she had drunk, but she knew there was one thing more she had to say.

'Julie,' she said, 'You have been really great to listen to me like this. Are you sure you don't want to get back with him? Because maybe you would be better for him, and if I could help you do that, then maybe I could get over him and move along with my life.'

Julie shook her head. 'That's noble, but it's totally quixotic, which translates as, 'Goldie, that's dumb,' if you know that old line from the Rowan and Martin Laugh-In. It would kill you to help me get back together with Ross, so it's just as well I don't want to. I found that out on our dinner date. No, I think you should try again with him, and see if third time is the charm, either way, without distractions like being on a break and stupid letters and so forth.'

She settled back in a manner that reminded Rachel of one of her professors at the U. in a supervision. 'You know, if you think about it, Rachel, there is a pattern here. Each time it has been something you did that precipitated the break, but on both occasions Ross has been the one actually to make a crucial decision that involved notable stupidity on his part.'

Rachel frowned, not sure she understood. 'Please explain, Julie.'

'You said that about taking a break,' said Julie, 'and you let Mark come over, which you should never have done. But it was Ross's decision to interpret and act on these in a particular way, when there were other possibilities, especially since you had been constantly telling him there was nothing between you and Mark. You know, hearing about that made me want to shake him. Why did he give up on you so easily?

'As for the letter bit: well, you wrote it, but why wasn't he honest with you? Why didn't he just admit he hadn't read it all, because he fell asleep? It was a reasonable thing to say, given the time you gave it to him. Then, if you had had to tell him what was in it, at least you could have had the whole business out before you thought you were getting together again. Probably you would have stayed apart, because he wouldn't have accepted your view of things, but at least there wouldn't have been this extra load of bitterness between you, and maybe, if you'd argued over it, he could have come up with some stuff that would have made you see you were being a bit unreasonable, in wanting him to take all the blame.'

'I know,' said Rachel miserably. 'I know, I know, I know! I go over and over the argument that I might have had with him in my head. Of course, in my head I'm winning the argument, but at least we have it, and I have to think really hard to answer some of his points in a way that will satisfy me. Do you suppose he does the same?'

'We never really know what goes on in men's heads,' said Julie, 'any more than they know what goes on in ours. But I would guess that he might well do that.'

'Well, what do you think?' said Rachel. 'Is there any hope, or …' her voice faltered, but she bit her lip hard. 'I must not cry,' she told herself fiercely. 'It's time to grow up a bit.'

Julie patted her on the knee. 'I think there is hope,' she said, 'and the main reason is, you're still friends. You see a lot of each other. That makes it more difficult in some ways – you would have gotten over each other by this time if you'd been apart, is my guess – but much easier if you want to get together again. Also, it is a good thing that you are trying to see it from his point of view, in these mental arguments of yours. That means you have moved away from thinking that it's all his fault.'

'So, what do you think I should do?' said Rachel, looking at Julie with renewed hope.

'Well, for one thing, stop having a dig at him, even when he is being a bit ridiculous,' said Julie. 'It will only going on stirring up his latent resentment. Leave that to the others. Don't give in to the temptation to answer in kind if he does it to you, either. You'd do better to make it look as if he was making you unhappy. That will make him feel remorseful, with any luck. And just make nice, without overdoing it. Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative, in fact, for a start. It's going to take some thought to devise any more specific plan of action that might take effect in the near future. Let me work on it.'

'Oh Julie!' said Rachel, and suddenly overcome with a rush of affection she leaned forward and hugged her enthusiastically. 'I'm so glad we had this conversation. You've given me a lot to think about, and a chance to move forward from this place where I've been stuck, and whatever comes of it, I'll always love you for that.' She looked at her watch. 'They should be out from the movie by now. Do you want to go up to Monica's and see if they're back?'

'No, you go along,' said Julie, sounding a bit strained. 'I should be getting home.'

But when Rachel had gone off, with a notable spring in her step, Julie sat there for a while with her thoughts. 'Nice work, Julie,' she said to herself. 'You had to do it. You knew it was asking for trouble, but you went ahead and did it anyway. You told yourself you wanted revenge, but it wasn't that at all, was it?You just wanted to see her again, after keeping away all this time, and now what's happened? You've really gone and fallen for her, and you've talked yourself into a position where you'll be helping her to get what she clearly wants, which means you'll never get what you want.'

Julie had known for a long time that she had the capacity to be emotionally and sexually interested in either sex. She had also recognised, when she was with Ross, that she found Rachel dangerously attractive. The pain she had felt when Ross dumped her for Rachel had been compounded by this. Rachel's revelations, which showed that she had not had an easy time of it since then, had taken the edge off any lingering resentment and strengthened Julie's feelings towards her. But they had led Julie to put herself in a position where she was bound to wind up feeling pain, either on her own behalf or on Rachel's.

'Yeah, really nice work,' she went on, beginning to mutter aloud. 'And you had the nerve to tell her she was quixotic! Dumb, Julie – really dumb.'

Gunther was clearing away Rachel's cup and saucer, handling them tenderly. He turned to Julie.

'Did you say something?'

Julie looked at him. 'Why is it traditional to show blondes as dumb, in the shows and films?' she burst out. 'While a brunette is played as smart, and anyone of Chinese origin is real smart, right, like that Ling in Ally McBeal, or me – Senior Research Fellow and all? Huh. I'm as dumb as the next guy.'

'Well, I'm the next guy,' said Gunther with a rather edgy grin. 'But maybe I am dumb, to be hung up on Rachel the way I am,' he added, more quietly but loud enough for Julie to hear.

'You too, huh?' said Julie unthinkingly.

Gunther's eyes widened. 'You have a crush on her?'

Julie sighed, but the words had been said. She just had to hope Gunther had a tolerant nature. 'Yeah,' she said, 'a really bad one – and here I am, promising to try to help her get back with Ross. That's why I was saying I was dumb.'

Gunther did not seem to be at all bothered by Julie's admission of a homosexual crush on Rachel. He simply shook his head mournfully. 'She wants to get back with Ross, after everything?'

Julie nodded. Gunther sighed. 'I'm not sure he's good for her,' he said. 'He's too jealous and possessive.'

'He's not always that way,' said Julie. 'Believe me, she told me the whole story from her point of view. And I was his girlfriend for a while. He has a very good side.'

'I heard her telling you the story,' said Gunther. 'Okay, I admit it, I'm prejudiced against the guy. So, you're really going to do that?'

'I said I would,' said Julie. 'I've already given her advice. Whether I can really do more and come up with a plan to get them together …' She shrugged. 'I feel bound to try. She's so open in her affection, you know? Like just now, when she hugged me. It's better than nothing.'

'I envy you,' said Gunther, sounding bitter. 'She's never hugged me, or even talked intimately.' He gave a large sigh. 'Oh well… if you want my help, ask. I might be able to do something.'

'Thanks, Gunther,' she said. 'I'm Julie Wong, by the way, if you don't remember, and why should you? I wasn't around for all that long. I'll be seeing you.' She went out.