*After dinner that evening, during which Beth had listed all Jeff's bad qualities and tried to convince us that he would soon come crawling back, I invited Tanya to my house. We went to my room to talk*
The past few weeks had been so chaotic that I had really spent very little time with Tanya. I decided that I needed to tell her I was leaving to give me a chance to say goodbye, in case I had to rush off unexpectedly. I had explained about my arm on the phone, so when she arrived at my house she didn't mention it, apart from asking if she could sign the plaster.
Tanya was lay across my bed, looking at her nails and frowning. Then she looked around my room and turned to me, confused.
"What happened to all your posters of Jeff?" she asked.
I was sat on a chair next to my dressing table. I had forgotten that Tanya knew nothing about Jeff and Beth and me. I considered not telling her and making up some lame excuse about Beth not liking WWF. But then I realised that she was my best friend and I really should have already told her. Then it occurred to me that when I left for Cameron with Jeff I probably wouldn't see her for a long time, if I ever did see her again.
"Tanya, I have to go away, I'm going to America," I said. "My parents don't know yet so try to keep it to yourself, ok?" I looked at the floor.
"Are you serious?" Tanya asked in a voice of disbelief.
I looked at her and nodded silently.
"I've never been more serious in my life," I said, now staring into space.
Tanya looked a little upset and spoke in a slightly squeaky voice.
"When?" she asked me.
I sighed. "Soon, we haven't set a date yet........."
Tanya seemed puzzled by my choice of pronoun.
"We.........?" she questioned, raising her eyebrows.
I took a deep breath.
"If I told you something unbelievable, would you believe me?" I asked, wondering whether I should make the effort to tell Tanya about Jeff and then convince her that it was true. I decided that she deserved to know.
"I'll try," Tanya nodded, smiling.
I walked over to the door, opened it slightly, and peered out to make sure that none of my family, especially Beth, were within ear shot. Seeing that the coast was clear, I sat down on the chair once again. Tanya watched me twirl my hair, waiting and wondering what this great secret could be.
"Ok.............Beth came back from America and.............." I began.
About half an hour later I had given Tanya the highlights of the past few weeks since Jeff had arrived, starting with the night I had returned to find him in my lounge, right up to the events of that afternoon. By the time I had finished, Tanya was convinced that I was telling the truth (luckily Tanya wasn't a person who it was hard to convince of anything). She sat there, her mouth partially open from amazement. She finally stood up and looked at her watch.
"I have to go now," she said, trying to be as casual as possible, which was hard considering what I had just told her.
She walked over and hugged me, tears in her eyes.
"I'm gonna miss you........" she sniffed. We both burst into tears as we stood there.
"I'm gonna miss you too....." I wailed. "Believe me, if I could take you with me I would, but I can't. I'm 19 in 2 weeks.........its time I grew up and left home."
Tanya stepped back and wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her blue sweater.
"Good luck!" she beamed at me. I could see the sincerity in her eyes. "Invite me to your wedding," she giggled.
I giggled back, although I was still sniffing a little from the tears.
"Well, I don't think that'll be soon.......but I'll call you when it happens," I said, drying my eyes.
~I'm going to miss her..........there aren't many things I'll miss about this place, but I'll miss Tanya..........but its worth it, to be with Jeff..........I'd give anything to be with him.......we're gonna be so happy together...~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*The next day*
The next day my family were all out at work. Beth had got herself a job as a waitress to fund her hobby of clothes shopping and I, unable to work as I wasn't much use with a single functional arm, was left alone in the house. I had grown used to seeing Jeff about.........sat on the sofa when I walked downstairs in the morning.........making himself a sandwich around lunch time.................doing press ups in the garden..........it was strangely silent without him. The hours passed by slowly but I comforted myself with the thought that some day I might wake up beside Jeff each morning and some day I would come home to him in the evenings.
The hours passed me by slowly as I tried to speed them up by reading, watching TV, anything I could think of. All the time anticipating the phone call or the knock on the door that would be the beginning of my new life. A new life where I could hold Jeff wherever and whenever I wanted.
At the end of the day, there had still been no phone call. With Jeff gone, my parents had decided it would be best if I slept on the sofa, rather than on the floor of "Beth's" room. Too tired and preoccupied with thoughts of my future to argue, I found myself curled up under a blanket on the sofa. Once again I could only think about one person - Jeff.
~Why hasn't he called.......? I'm sure he'll call tomorrow......he said a day or 2.......he has to plan the flight, tell his family we'll be arriving.............everything's fine........he made me promise to go with him..........I'm so nervous but I have to go....what if it doesn't work out.........it WILL work out.......I'm sleepy.....~
The next few days seemed to melt into one long day, one long day of waiting for Jeff, of waiting for my ticket to freedom. Every time the phone rang I would leap up from my seat, each time there was a tapping at the front door I would dive to answer it. And every time my hopes would be shattered, and i would return to my seat on the sofa, dissappointed. By the time a week had passed and I had heard nothing from Jeff, the dream of our life together that had once burned brightly inside me was now a dim light in the darkness of my rapidly growing doubt that I would ever see Jeff's eyes look into mine again. By the time Saturday morning came, just little over a week since Jeff had left the house, and me, behind I was depressed. At 11am I was still slumped on the sofa in my night clothes. I miserably reached for the TV remote and switched on Smackdown. I watched the show in a kind of trance, not with the same concentration and enthusiasm I usually had.
Just as the show was coming to an end, Beth entered the lounge and stood in front of the TV, studying what looked like a letter. She was wearing her coat and carrying a small black hand bag. She looked at me, stuffing the blue envelope into her pocket.
"I'm going shopping," she said. "You can tidy the kitchen while I'm out. Mum and dad have already gone out. Make sure the house is clean when they come back."
Cleaning the kitchen was supposed to be Beth's job, but I wasn't in a state to protest, and she knew it.
As if I was in auto-pilot, I washed the dishes without even thinking about it.
~How could I have been so stupid.................?........Did I really think that he could be committed to me after just a kiss.................?!.....He's not coming back.......what do I do now?~
The past few weeks had been so chaotic that I had really spent very little time with Tanya. I decided that I needed to tell her I was leaving to give me a chance to say goodbye, in case I had to rush off unexpectedly. I had explained about my arm on the phone, so when she arrived at my house she didn't mention it, apart from asking if she could sign the plaster.
Tanya was lay across my bed, looking at her nails and frowning. Then she looked around my room and turned to me, confused.
"What happened to all your posters of Jeff?" she asked.
I was sat on a chair next to my dressing table. I had forgotten that Tanya knew nothing about Jeff and Beth and me. I considered not telling her and making up some lame excuse about Beth not liking WWF. But then I realised that she was my best friend and I really should have already told her. Then it occurred to me that when I left for Cameron with Jeff I probably wouldn't see her for a long time, if I ever did see her again.
"Tanya, I have to go away, I'm going to America," I said. "My parents don't know yet so try to keep it to yourself, ok?" I looked at the floor.
"Are you serious?" Tanya asked in a voice of disbelief.
I looked at her and nodded silently.
"I've never been more serious in my life," I said, now staring into space.
Tanya looked a little upset and spoke in a slightly squeaky voice.
"When?" she asked me.
I sighed. "Soon, we haven't set a date yet........."
Tanya seemed puzzled by my choice of pronoun.
"We.........?" she questioned, raising her eyebrows.
I took a deep breath.
"If I told you something unbelievable, would you believe me?" I asked, wondering whether I should make the effort to tell Tanya about Jeff and then convince her that it was true. I decided that she deserved to know.
"I'll try," Tanya nodded, smiling.
I walked over to the door, opened it slightly, and peered out to make sure that none of my family, especially Beth, were within ear shot. Seeing that the coast was clear, I sat down on the chair once again. Tanya watched me twirl my hair, waiting and wondering what this great secret could be.
"Ok.............Beth came back from America and.............." I began.
About half an hour later I had given Tanya the highlights of the past few weeks since Jeff had arrived, starting with the night I had returned to find him in my lounge, right up to the events of that afternoon. By the time I had finished, Tanya was convinced that I was telling the truth (luckily Tanya wasn't a person who it was hard to convince of anything). She sat there, her mouth partially open from amazement. She finally stood up and looked at her watch.
"I have to go now," she said, trying to be as casual as possible, which was hard considering what I had just told her.
She walked over and hugged me, tears in her eyes.
"I'm gonna miss you........" she sniffed. We both burst into tears as we stood there.
"I'm gonna miss you too....." I wailed. "Believe me, if I could take you with me I would, but I can't. I'm 19 in 2 weeks.........its time I grew up and left home."
Tanya stepped back and wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her blue sweater.
"Good luck!" she beamed at me. I could see the sincerity in her eyes. "Invite me to your wedding," she giggled.
I giggled back, although I was still sniffing a little from the tears.
"Well, I don't think that'll be soon.......but I'll call you when it happens," I said, drying my eyes.
~I'm going to miss her..........there aren't many things I'll miss about this place, but I'll miss Tanya..........but its worth it, to be with Jeff..........I'd give anything to be with him.......we're gonna be so happy together...~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*The next day*
The next day my family were all out at work. Beth had got herself a job as a waitress to fund her hobby of clothes shopping and I, unable to work as I wasn't much use with a single functional arm, was left alone in the house. I had grown used to seeing Jeff about.........sat on the sofa when I walked downstairs in the morning.........making himself a sandwich around lunch time.................doing press ups in the garden..........it was strangely silent without him. The hours passed by slowly but I comforted myself with the thought that some day I might wake up beside Jeff each morning and some day I would come home to him in the evenings.
The hours passed me by slowly as I tried to speed them up by reading, watching TV, anything I could think of. All the time anticipating the phone call or the knock on the door that would be the beginning of my new life. A new life where I could hold Jeff wherever and whenever I wanted.
At the end of the day, there had still been no phone call. With Jeff gone, my parents had decided it would be best if I slept on the sofa, rather than on the floor of "Beth's" room. Too tired and preoccupied with thoughts of my future to argue, I found myself curled up under a blanket on the sofa. Once again I could only think about one person - Jeff.
~Why hasn't he called.......? I'm sure he'll call tomorrow......he said a day or 2.......he has to plan the flight, tell his family we'll be arriving.............everything's fine........he made me promise to go with him..........I'm so nervous but I have to go....what if it doesn't work out.........it WILL work out.......I'm sleepy.....~
The next few days seemed to melt into one long day, one long day of waiting for Jeff, of waiting for my ticket to freedom. Every time the phone rang I would leap up from my seat, each time there was a tapping at the front door I would dive to answer it. And every time my hopes would be shattered, and i would return to my seat on the sofa, dissappointed. By the time a week had passed and I had heard nothing from Jeff, the dream of our life together that had once burned brightly inside me was now a dim light in the darkness of my rapidly growing doubt that I would ever see Jeff's eyes look into mine again. By the time Saturday morning came, just little over a week since Jeff had left the house, and me, behind I was depressed. At 11am I was still slumped on the sofa in my night clothes. I miserably reached for the TV remote and switched on Smackdown. I watched the show in a kind of trance, not with the same concentration and enthusiasm I usually had.
Just as the show was coming to an end, Beth entered the lounge and stood in front of the TV, studying what looked like a letter. She was wearing her coat and carrying a small black hand bag. She looked at me, stuffing the blue envelope into her pocket.
"I'm going shopping," she said. "You can tidy the kitchen while I'm out. Mum and dad have already gone out. Make sure the house is clean when they come back."
Cleaning the kitchen was supposed to be Beth's job, but I wasn't in a state to protest, and she knew it.
As if I was in auto-pilot, I washed the dishes without even thinking about it.
~How could I have been so stupid.................?........Did I really think that he could be committed to me after just a kiss.................?!.....He's not coming back.......what do I do now?~