This is just a short fic that was in my head for a while until I wrote it down. it's a Hermione and Draco funny and no they do not get romantically involved in this one but its still funny.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything only the plot the Goddess J. K. Rowling owns the rest.

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A Twisted Version of Truth or Dare

"Let's see who shall I choose. Granger…truth, dare or consequences?" drawled Malfoy in his usual tone.

"Hmm…I choose truth," stated Hermione casually.

"Granger, Granger you know the wizarding rules only 2 truths allowed in a game. Seeing as you have already used both would you like to choose again? Or perhaps you would like to suffer the consequences?"

Hermione cringed at the consequences, go and claim to Filch your undying love for him. "Alright, fine dare."

"Wise girl. Now Hermione I dare you to go on a panty raid," Draco smiled evilly. "The person whom your target is, Professor Snape."

Hermione burst out. "But, Draco you know that I have absolutely no idea where his chambers are. For all I know he could sleep outside in a tree hanging upside down like the overgrown bat that he is!"

"Well, I know where it is, Professor Snape lets all the students in his house know incase they ever need him immediately. Or if we spy any Gryffindors doing something wrong," Draco smiled devilishly at the last sentence.

"Oh no. I am not taking directions from a Slytherin! Its likely you'll lead me to a boy's lavatory!" screeched Hermione.

"You know," perked up Ginny, "there is an exception to wizarding rules. If the daree doesn't trust the darer then the said darer muse go with the daree" Ron stared blankly at his little sister. "Or in other words, Draco has to accompany Hermione on the dare due to the fact she doesn't trust him."

"Oh," said Ron.

"Come on Malfoy lets get this over with," said Hermione rising and leaving the circle they had formed. Draco got up and walked with Hermione they both entered the dungeons.

"This way Granger," he led her to the Slytherin common room. Hermione had only been there once before and shivered as a live snake slithered on the floor. They went to the corner of the room where a cabinet lay. Draco said the password "Usque Attum Anum."

Hermione was laughing like mad. "Draco do you know what you just said!"

"No, I think its latin or something. Don't tell me you know that stuff, Hermione! Geez!"

"I learned it first year to better understand the meaning of the spells we use. So you don't know what it means?" asked Hermione smiling as much as ever.

"Come on what does it mean?" sighed Draco.

"Shove it up your-oh my god! Look at this place!" Hermione ran over to the library immediately, it rivaled that of Hogwarts's.

"Come, on 'Mione lets go and get the bloody git's shorts and get out of here. I don't think he is coming back for a good twenty minutes but we should move along."

"Oh, alright," said Hermione sighing and placing a book back on the shelf.

They proceeded into the sleeping chamber and Hermione headed straight for the dresser drawers. Draco walked over to a wall painting and examined it. Hermione let out a small shriek and Draco smirked turning around.

"What's the matter Granger never seen a pair of guys under-OH MY GOD!"

Hermione was holding up a pair of pink frilly underwear. "Well, I mean they can't be his, right? I mean they must be someone's who left them here, from when, oh my god! Eww, bad image. Okay those are the only ones like that right?"

"Oh, yes these are the only ones," said Hermione as Draco breathed a sigh of relief, "of this particular shade."

Draco's stomach gave a lurch. "What do you mean 'of this shade'?" He walked over to where Hermione was standing holding the undies between her thumb and forefinger away from her. Draco looked into the drawer and saw there are frilly underwear in different shades of pink and baby blue. "Oh hey wait there are a normal pair," Draco lifted a pair of black boxer shorts up the buttocks facing Hermione.

Suddenly Hermione started making gagging noises and pointing at the shorts. Draco turned the shorts around and read the back they said Animal across the butt region. Draco dropped the underwear as though they were a disease that could wipe out the entire wizarding race. "Come on lets get out of here before I'm scarred for life," said Draco completely creeped out.

"I already am," muttered Hermione as the two were making their way to the adjoining living quarters.

Suddenly as they were walking into the room the door handle started to jiggle. Draco quickly grabbed Hermione and pulled her back into the bed chambers. Suddenly the sound of singing was heard. Draco peered around the corner and saw…Snape!

"I'm singing in the rain! Just singing in the rain!" Hermione looked now and saw that Snape was dancing and twirling around the floor shaking his hind quarters in the air. Both snapped their heads from view and sank against the wall onto the floor.

"I'm gonna need therapy for this," said Hermione in a whisper.

"Your gonna need therapy! That's my head of house!" said Draco in a harsh whisper.

"Good point."

~*~15 minutes later~*~

"Hermione its your turn to look and see if he's gone yet," sighed Draco tiredly.

"Your closer."

"So?"

"Its your fault we're here in the first place! You should look."

"Well, if you hadn't had been snooping in his library for so long then we could have gotten out of here by now!"

"But, well, oh fine!" said Hermione getting up and leaning over Draco peering around the corner. "Oh my god, Draco. Please tell me he is not doing what I think he's doing!"

Draco leaned over and watched as Snape undid a package and pulled out a bright orange dress and was starting to try it on. Draco leaned back against the wall ashen faced. "Where's the bathroom I think I'm gonna be sick."

"I think its over there, see the door its connected to the bedroom," said Hermione.

Draco got up and slowly walked over to the door and opened it. Hermione saw the light go on and heard a scream emitted from inside. She quickly got up and saw what had made Draco scream. The entire room was done in purple with rubber duckies. Draco was rooted to the spot, and only Hermione heard Snape coming. She grabbed Draco and then jumped into the shower behind the curtain.

They heard Snape come in and look around. Hermione being Hermione quickly thought of an invisibility charm she read in a book somewhere. Both her and Draco had become invisible or at least she hoped they did, because she didn't have time to check. Snape whipped the curtain open and Hermione saw the worst thing she had ever seen in her life. Snape was wearing the ugly orange dress, only he had curlers in his hair and appeared to be taller than he usually was, implying he was wearing high heals.

Snape was looking straight at them but apparently Hermione's spell had worked, he couldn't see them. He retreated to the bedroom. Hermione and Draco did not move a muscle, then they heard Snape yell.

"Someone is going to die! My favorite pair of underwear! STOLEN!"

Hermione and Draco looked at the bulge in the pocket of her robes, then at each other. They both heard Snape slam the door. Both let out a sigh of relief and stepped out of the bathroom. They walked to the door and out of the hall and took off the invisibility charm, their was no sign of Snape and the two were walking back to the game room. Then Hermione started to giggle.

"What is so funny?" questioned Draco.

"Do you think he transfigured his clothes to normal before he left in such a hurry?" gasped Hermione.

A smile appeared on Draco's face "I hope he's good at the Obliviate spell," and the two of them burst out laughing in the middle of the deserted hallway. They were laughing so hard they didn't notice the figure coming up behind them.

"And what pray tell is so funny?"

Hermione and Draco turned around and were face to face with Snape only apparently he didn't turn back to his normal clothes before leaving.

"We, we're-" started Draco, but Hermione finished for them.

"We are sorry Professor. But, um," stuttered Hermione loosing her nerve. Even while wearing that dress he was still pretty imposing.

Then suddenly Snape noticed his reflection in the mirror that happened to be in the corridor. "I-I must go. Mention this to no one!" with that he spun around and swept through the hallway his, dress, billowing behind him. (an: had to do that)

"Lets get out of here!" screamed Hermione.

"Yeah!" agreed Draco.

"Lets just never talk about this okay?" asked Hermione when they got outside the portrait leading to the room.

"Okay!" and with that they went into the room and continued play.

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~*~Midnight~*~