Author Note: I need a beta reader. If someone is willing to be mine, can
you please e-mail me? You can contact me here: roasted-chicken@mail.com
Disclaimer: I own none of these characters.
~*~
I know I didn't kill them, but I can't help thinking that one little action could have spared them. That they could be sitting in their living room right now, playing with Harry and listening to quidditch on the WWN.
It's my fault, I know it is. It may not be my fault as much as others, but I started the chain of events that lead up to this. I gave them to Peter.
It's like, you put your mother's favorite antique vase on the kitchen table. You know you're not supposed to be putting it there, yet you do it anyway. Then your hyper little brother comes tearing through the house, and bumps the table. It's not your fault he bumped the table, but it's your fault for putting the vase there. So, in the end, you broke the vase. It was on the table, and it fell. It's as simple as that.
OK, so maybe the scenario's a little bit off. But you get the meaning, right? I didn't run into the table, but I put the vase there. Only I didn't just put one vase there. I put three vases there. Someone else might have might have knocked only two of them off, but I put all of them there. And what happens to the left over vase? It gets to sit on the shelf, dusty and alone.
I could have told them yes, I would be their secret keeper, but I didn't. Why? Because I thought the vases would be safer on the table. But they weren't. And yet, everyone thought that I caused everything, not just one little action. I guess I deserve that. I did start the chain reaction. If it hadn't been for me, so many people could have their lives back. Have lives they never got a chance at. Harry could know how it feels to live with people that love him, for a change. Remus could have his friends back. That's another thing the kills me day by day.
Everyday, I wonder what Remus is saying to curse my existence. He doesn't know the truth and he probably never will. He thinks I killed Lily and James, and he's right. I put the vases on the table, only Peter ran into it. But it wasn't an accident; he did it on purpose.
Who does Remus have now? No one. I took everyone from him. Well, maybe not everyone. I took Lily and James, so I got what I deserved. Peter ran away. Can you believe it?! HE RAN AWAY. It must take a lot of courage, to pretend to be something you're not. Too bad he never had to do that.
He was always a dirty rat, he just wore a disguise that he took off for the first time on Halloween. The first and only time. He took it off for James, and Lily, and me. Too bad I'm the only one left who knows that. Too bad I'm in Azkaban, living a nightmare, well he's out living the good life. Too bad he doesn't know that he'll pay for his disguise if I have to die in the process. What he doesn't know though, is that I'm already dead. Dead to everyone that matters, which would be a small enough number to count on one hand.
Disclaimer: I own none of these characters.
~*~
I know I didn't kill them, but I can't help thinking that one little action could have spared them. That they could be sitting in their living room right now, playing with Harry and listening to quidditch on the WWN.
It's my fault, I know it is. It may not be my fault as much as others, but I started the chain of events that lead up to this. I gave them to Peter.
It's like, you put your mother's favorite antique vase on the kitchen table. You know you're not supposed to be putting it there, yet you do it anyway. Then your hyper little brother comes tearing through the house, and bumps the table. It's not your fault he bumped the table, but it's your fault for putting the vase there. So, in the end, you broke the vase. It was on the table, and it fell. It's as simple as that.
OK, so maybe the scenario's a little bit off. But you get the meaning, right? I didn't run into the table, but I put the vase there. Only I didn't just put one vase there. I put three vases there. Someone else might have might have knocked only two of them off, but I put all of them there. And what happens to the left over vase? It gets to sit on the shelf, dusty and alone.
I could have told them yes, I would be their secret keeper, but I didn't. Why? Because I thought the vases would be safer on the table. But they weren't. And yet, everyone thought that I caused everything, not just one little action. I guess I deserve that. I did start the chain reaction. If it hadn't been for me, so many people could have their lives back. Have lives they never got a chance at. Harry could know how it feels to live with people that love him, for a change. Remus could have his friends back. That's another thing the kills me day by day.
Everyday, I wonder what Remus is saying to curse my existence. He doesn't know the truth and he probably never will. He thinks I killed Lily and James, and he's right. I put the vases on the table, only Peter ran into it. But it wasn't an accident; he did it on purpose.
Who does Remus have now? No one. I took everyone from him. Well, maybe not everyone. I took Lily and James, so I got what I deserved. Peter ran away. Can you believe it?! HE RAN AWAY. It must take a lot of courage, to pretend to be something you're not. Too bad he never had to do that.
He was always a dirty rat, he just wore a disguise that he took off for the first time on Halloween. The first and only time. He took it off for James, and Lily, and me. Too bad I'm the only one left who knows that. Too bad I'm in Azkaban, living a nightmare, well he's out living the good life. Too bad he doesn't know that he'll pay for his disguise if I have to die in the process. What he doesn't know though, is that I'm already dead. Dead to everyone that matters, which would be a small enough number to count on one hand.