Chapter 13: Do I Still Love Him Anymore?
Well, we were tired as heck so we just went to sleep at once. We didn't even give out hugs or kisses! Well, I guess this next week was boring as hell! We all ran out of money! Haha! Well, I still had like some money but I didn't want to use it. Plus, it was already August so it started to get a little colder. So the beach was out of the question. Then we just decided to just go to the movies. We watched 13 Ghosts (yeah, I know. It's already out on TV but work with me here) and of course the movie is wicked scary. So all the guys put their arms around us. Well, Jesse was about to put his arm around me but me, being such a moody person now, pushed his arm away and just walked out of the theater. Why I did that, I have no clue. Haha! I would never do that in real life! And I walked out of the mall and headed for Jesse's house, which was like 5 miles away! I have no clue what the hell is wrong with me! So, Jesse, being the sweetie and cutie he is, he ran after me. I was just in such a bad mood. Jesse asked what was wrong with me. And I said to him to leave me alone! Now in real life, I would never ever do that! That's just crazy! Then he kept asking the same question. So I finally gave up and stopped walking fast and told him that I needed some time alone to think. Then Jesse told me to tell him what I was thinking. So I just shook my head and walked quickly towards Jesse's house. On the way there, I went into a store to buy some clothes and some candy, lots of candy! (I only eat a lot of candy when I'm wicked sad. I'm not kidding! Right now, I have a really long Charleston chew in my freezer just in case I'm going to be so sad that I have to eat it!) And can you believe how concerned Jesse was about me. He was following me even though he was probably tired as hell. I was not at all tired because I was on a sad and mad rampage. So I bought lots of candy and I still had about one or 2 miles to walk till I got to Jesse's house. I'm crazy, aren't I? But I finally got there and Jesse was right behind me, so he opened the door for me. So, I went to my room and locked the door. By now, the McCartney family has been o so kind to me and they even bought a new computer to put in my room! So, I signed on and a lot of people were on. I signed onto 2 screen names. Somehow, some fans got a hold of my screen names so I talked to them and they said that they hated me. So I just sweared back to them seeing how I am in such a really sad and bad mood. Then they just signed off. Wimps! Then Katie was on and she and Evelyn are like the only ones who like help me with these moods. So I talked to her and she helped me a lot. Then I thanked her and signed off. I swear, she should be like my shrink or something! I mean it! So I knew that Jesse was in his room because he was online when I was online but I blocked him so that was like a bad thing to do! O my god, I must have hurt Jesse so much! O gosh, I hope he still loves me! So I knocked on his bedroom door and he said come in. Then I telling him how sorry I was and I was begging him to forgive me. Then he said that he forgave me. Haha, he's a fast forgiver too! Then I told him that I understood if he didn't love me anymore and I started to walk out of his room. Then he grabbed my arm and asked why I thought that I didn't love him anymore. Then I told him because of my attitude. Then he kissed my hand and he told me that he still loved me. O my god, how romantic is that! Then he asked me if I still loved him. And then I just ran out of his room and ran back into my room and locked the door. Then I cried on my pillow. I don't know if I love Jesse anymore! Then I signed on but unfortunately neither Katie nor Evelyn was on so I kept thinking if I really truly do love Jesse. So I put on their CD and fell asleep listening to it. Meanwhile, back in the theater, the people were wondering where we had gone. Then Evelyn told them that I was probably having one of my moods. So then they watched the rest of the movie and they went shopping! Haha, I feel bad for the guys. They have to go everywhere were the girls had to go. Well, as always, they headed back to Chris' crib. Then Evelyn suggested that they go find Jesse and I. So she called Jesse's house and no one answered. O my gosh, I must have broken Jesse's heart! When it was the second ring of the telephone, I woke up. Then by the fourth ring, the answer machine picked it up and I heard the people's voices. They said that they were coming over. Then, when the answer machine stopped, I heard Jesse talk to himself. He was fricken yelling and swearing. I began to cry again because I fricken hurt Jesse's feelings. I didn't mean to but I just couldn't say that I loved him when I wasn't even so sure now. (Yeah, I really went through with this. My friend Evelyn asked me this question and it made me think. She answered that question and she really does love Chris but right now, I'm not sure if I truly love Jesse. Even though I already told everyone that I official really truly love Jesse, I still have my doubts. So I'm actually going through with this for real. Well, anyways, back to the story) Well, then I signed on again and I still blocked Jesse but he talked to me on another one of his screen names but I ignored him and blocked him. I like really felt horrible so I began to eat the candy that I bought. In a matter of one or two hours, the people came and they knocked and rang the doorbell but no one answered so Matt, being how smart he is, found a spare key and opened the door. They knocked on Jesse's door and Jesse opened it. (Haha, right now I'm thinking like really weird and right now I'm thinking, what kind of name is Jesse? Why would his parents choose that name for him?! I am so weird, aren't I?) The people looked at Jesse's room and saw that basically everything was broken except for all the expensive stuff. Then the people asked him what the hell was wrong. He explained and all of them were in shock except for Evelyn because she knew that I had thought about this before. For real! So Evelyn, being how outspoken she is, (she really isn't in real life, I think) she said that she knew all about it. Then Jesse asked why the hell didn't she tell him before. Then she said that she promised me that she wouldn't tell him. So then Jesse almost cried but guys should never cry. Well, I was online but no one was on that I could talk to so I signed off. Then I put Dream Street's CD on again and listened to it. But then I just zoned out and was thinking about if I really do love Jesse. I kept on thinking until I heard a big thump noise. So I turned down the music and I heard the people's voices. I heard them yell, "Open the door!" Then I yelled back, "No," and then I heard Greg's voice say, "Thanks for listening to our CD!" I said, "Your welcome!" Then Amanda lightly punched Greg in the stomach and then Evelyn yelled to let them come in. I still said no. But then the guys, being how strong they are (Haha!), tried to break open the door. It took them some time but they finally did break the door. Haha, now they have to pay for it! So I yelled for them to get out. But of course they had to be rude and they tried talking to me. But I didn't want to talk about it. So I just grabbed my purse, the DS CD, and my CD player. I put in the CD into the CD player and listened to it over and over again. Then I went to a store to buy some party clothes and accessories. I guess since it was getting a little late I would go out clubbing. So I bought some clothes and stuff and walked to a club. By the time I got to the club, it was already 9 PM. So I just went over to the counter and ordered a coke. I took a sip and then a guy, Nick, asked me to dance. So we danced and got to know each other. He was a pretty cool guy. He was a bit taller than me, 16 years old, brown hair, hazel eyes, your normal average guy. Then it was around 11 PM so he asked if I wanted a ride home and I accepted. Well he drove me back to Jesse's house and then he grabbed a pen and wrote his number on my hand. Then out of nowhere, he kissed me! What the fuck?! And guess what, I kept on kissing him! Then I said bye to him and he drove off. Then I was walking back to Jesse's house and Jesse opened the door. Then he asked where the hell I had been. I looked at him with a lovy dovy look and just said somewhere. But he knew where I was because of my party clothes. Then he asked who drove me back and then I said it was Nick. Then he asked who was he but I was already in my room and closed the door. Well then I locked it and then I wrote his number in my planner. Hey, the people fixed the door! This wasn't a very good idea because Jesse remembered everyone's name in my planner but o well! Then I just threw the DS CD on the floor. (I would never do that!) Then I went to sleep and dreamed about Nick. Yikes, I didn't dream about Jesse! Well, I woke up the next day and got ready for the day. I got online and all my friends were on and then I unblocked Jesse. Well, he IMed me but I ignored him and I talked to Katie! I told Katie that I was super-happy. She asked why and I made her promise not to tell anyone. She promised and I told her. She was like, "O my god! You're cheating on Jesse?! Shame on you!" Then I told her I knew but I just had to get my mind off of him at least once. But she still scolded me but I ignored her little advice stuff. Then I said bye to her and I signed off. Then I went downstairs and ate breakfast. I still had the lovy dovy look and Lea was already awake. She asked me what the hell was wrong with me and I told her nothing. But she knew something was up. She's very smart in knowing stuff in everything! Then Jesse came down and gave me an evil glare but I just said, "Pfh!" Then Lea said, "O, you guys aren't going out anymore?" Then I shrugged and told her to ask Jesse. So she did and Jesse shrugged too. So I walked out of the house. Then I bought a ticket to NYC and then I went to Chris' crib. I knocked on the door and Chris answered. He saw that I was happy and asked if Jesse and I were ok now and I just shrugged. Then I let myself in and knocked on Evelyn's door. She was putting on her make-up and she said come in. I said hey and she said hi. Then she asked if Jesse and I were ok now and I told her that that's what I wanted to talk to her about. So she finished putting on her make-up and I told her that she might want to sit down because she would not believe what she would be hearing. Then I told her and then she yelled really loud, "You're cheating Jesse?!" Then I told her to keep it down but unfortunately Chris heard and opened the door and asked the same exact thing. Then I made them both promise to not to tell a soul. They promised and we went to the stores to go shopping! Chris still couldn't believe what I did to Jesse. So then I got bored with them and told them that I was going to go chill with Nick. So I bought another ticket going back to Westchester. I went back to Jesse's house and Lea opened the door. She saw that I was in a hurry and she let me in quickly. I ran up to my room and saw Jesse in there. He was reading my diary, which I wrote in every single day. He was on today and I wrote about how I met Nick and stuff. I think he read the part of how I don't know if I love him anymore. Plus he had my planner out. He had tears in his eyes and then I told him I was so sorry and then I began to have tears in my eyes. Then I tried to give him a hug but he pushed me away. Here's the convo: J=Jesse, S=Scarletto J: Get away from me! S: I am so sorry Jesse! J: I know you are but how could you cheat on me?! S: I don't know! I guess I just couldn't control myself! J: Aren't I good enough for you? S: Yes you are but I don't what the hell is wrong with me! J: I'll tell you what's wrong with you bitch! You're a fucking slut! You're a player! S: I'm fucking not! I just don't know if I love you anymore! Are you happy now?! I admitted it! I don't know if I fucking love you anymore. I didn't want to tell you so I wouldn't have hurt your feelings! J: Well, guess what! You have! And why the hell don't you know if you love me anymore? S: well, this question keeps on haunting me and if I would ever die for you! J: You know that I would die for you! I love you! Can't you see that? S: I am so sorry that I don't know if I love you! I know that you love me! J: Well, would you ever die for me?! S: That's it! I don't know! *Breaks down crying* J: How can you not know? S: I don't know! Now can you leave me alone now?! J: Fine, I will! Well, Jesse walks out of my room and slams the door behind him. I keep on crying and I figured that our relationship would never work out so I packed all my stuff and bought a ticket back to my town. I got there around 1 AM and I unpacked everything. Then I went to sleep and I kept on rolling all over my bed dreaming about Jesse and that question! Well, I woke up the next morning and saw everyone was gone. I guess they didn't know I came home. I got online and only Evelyn was on. She IMed and we talked. I told her that I came back home and she just said O. I told her that I couldn't stand to be around Jesse anymore. I was breaking his poor heart and that I couldn't see him like that. Then she told me that she and the girls would be coming home soon then. I told her not to come back so soon. I told her to have fun. Well, I blocked Jesse and Evelyn told me that Jesse is worried about me. I just told her to tell him that he doesn't have to worry about me ever again. So she told him that and she told me that Jesse said that he made a poem for me: Never To Love Me Again I always thought that you loved me, But I guess I was wrong. You've broken heart and left it shattered. Will you come back and put it back together, So our love will be whole again. Is this the end? Or is this just the beginning of never? I thought I loved, And I still very much. But I don't know, I think that I've broken your heart. And it's all over the place, Never to love me again. O my god! That is just so sad! I guess my heart really is broken and I never can put it back together. Then Evelyn said that Jesse sends his love. Then I told Evelyn that I send him his luck. Then I unblocked him and he saw that. Now, Chris was right next to Evelyn and he said that he was glad that they weren't us. So they hugged and Evelyn cried. Then the both of them said that they were determined to bring us back together. So they called everyone and that they needed some ideas to bring us back together again. They posted help all over message boards and some got answered. Some were true fans but then some were happy that Jesse and I broke up. But they got some ideas from some true fans. Then I started to receive some fan mail and they said that they were very sorry that we broke up and that they wished that we would go out again. I replied to all of them and they seemed please. Then after a week, the girls came home and we were so glad to see each other. They kept on nagging me to go back out with Jesse. I said that I couldn't. Then I broke down crying. Then they tried to comfort me. Then they advise me to call Jesse up and I was like, "Hell no!" I wasn't even ready to talk to him yet! I would never dare to talk to him again! So they said ok and went home. So I got online (I love going online!) and I talked to some fans that were really nice. Then Jesse IMed me and I guess I just had to owe him an explanation. So here's the convo: DS WchesterGuy=Jesse, WanaRockJesse2NT=Scarletto DS WchesterGuy: hey WanaRockJesse2NT: hi DS WchesterGuy: r u ok now? WanaRockJesse2NT: im fine, how bout u? DS WchesterGuy: Im still missing u n I still love u WanaRockJesse2NT: ooo dun miss me, n u dun haft 2 luv me nemore.dun worry ova mae DS WchesterGuy: But I can't help it. I need u in my life! WanaRockJesse2NT: um, I g2g now, baiz DS WchesterGuy: Bye love *WanaRockJesse2NT signed off* See, I told you that I still couldn't talk to Jesse. He is lovesick! I swear he's going to come here and stalk me! Haha! Well, I called Nick and he was like all flirting with me. Blah! I hate guys that flirt with me. Why, I have no clue. Well, I told him that I went back home and then I "broke up" with him. He didn't even sound a bit sad. Then I heard a girl's voice in the back so he's just a player! Then I hung up and just sat in front of the computer thinking if I truly do love Jesse. Jesse is so sweet and innocent and I just broke his darling heart! What the hell have I done? Well, I still don't know if I really do love Jesse but I went to sleep and waited for tomorrow to come. See, I went to sleep early because tomorrow was the first day of school. The next morning, I got ready for school. I waited for the bus with Alison, Keri, and the whole crew that lived near here. So we started our classes and I kept on zoning out. The teachers kept on telling me to pay attention but how could I pay attention when I've broken an innocent heart. His poem was so true but I don't know I don't or do love Jesse. How could I have done that?! Well, by 3:30 PM, I got home and checked my email. A lot were from fans. So I read them and sent back a reply. Then I saw Jesse's email letter. Here's what it says: Dear Love, Even though you deny it, I still love you. And I always will forever. You still don't know if you love me or not but believe me, you do! You have to! We were destined to be together! Please call me and tell me that you love me! And if you don't love me anymore, please still give me a call and then we can be friends forever then. I'm begging you! With all my heart, Jesse? Then I cried and I called Jesse. Timmy picked up and I told him 2 put Jesse on. Timmy told me ok and he ran upstairs to Jesse's room. Then Jesse said hello. Here's the convo ( Haha, that rhymes!): J=Jesse, S=Scarletto J: Hello? S: *Crying* Jesse, I am so sorry that I've broken your heart! J: Hey girl, calm down. Don't cry. S: But Jesse, I've broken your innocent heart and I can never fix it! And Jesse, I've figured that I love you with all my heart but right now, I'm not ready to love anybody. I really do love you but I've been through so much pain, that I'm too afraid to love. J: Yo, I love you too. S: I know you do! Now that I've said that, I'll be needing to go. I'll talk to you later. J: Bye S: Bye Isn't that sad?! Well, now that summer was over, the guys had to go back on tour. They traveled all over USA and that was cool for them. Us girls went back to school and we missed them terribly. The girls kept on encouraging me to get back with Jesse but I still wasn't ready. The first day of school was very long. So when I finally did come home, I got a message on my answering machine. It was Jesse. That boy will never give up, I tell you! But this message from him was very, very sad. He and the guys wanted us to get back together so they sang me some songs. They sang "Someone to Hold Me Tonight," "This Time," "Feel the Rain," "Hooked on You," and "Sugar Rush." That was so sad! And at the end, Jesse said that he loves me forever. Then I cried and cried. So, I decided if he left me some songs, I'd sing him a song. So I got the girls and we sang "Matter of Time." We recorded ourselves and mailed it to him. And at the end, I said, "Did you hear that? Even your song said that all good things would come to those who wait, so wait." And then the girls added their own little message to him. In about a week, Jesse got it and he got a little emotional. He heard my tape and then after, he stopped calling me and he stopped IMing me. I still wanted him to talk to me! So, I decided to get online and talk to him. Thankfully he was on so here's the convo: WanaRockJesse2NT=Me! DS WestchesterGuy=Jesse WanaRockJesse2NT: Hey! DS WestchesterGuy: hi, I shouldn't b talking 2 u..remember u need time WanaRockJesse2NT: Well yea buh it dsnt mean that u haft 2 stop talking 2 me WanaRockJesse2NT: lmao!! DS WestchesterGuy: I gotta ask u a question so just call me rite now WanaRockJesse2NT: ok, tty in 5! Buh bye 4 now DS WestchesterGuy: bye Well, I signed off and called him up. Here's the convo: J=Jesse, S=Me! *Brriinngg!* J: Hello? S: Hey Jesse! It's me, Scarletto! J: O hey! Wassup? S: Well, you told me to call you and that you needed to ask me a question! J: O yeah! That's right! Yeah, um, I was wondering if you still love me as a friend? S: Of course I do, silly! J: That's great! S: Anything else? J: Yeah, do you love me more than friends, like as a boyfriend? S: Uh, I don't know J: *Sings "I Miss You"* S: *Starts to cry* J: *Ends song* Well, do you? S: *Still crying* Do you really love me that much? J: Yes, I do! I will do anything for you! If you were to get shot or something, I'd take that shot for you! If you had any pain, I'd take it all away and I'd do anything to do that! Don't you see?! I love you with all my heart and I would die for you. Kill for you! S: Yes Jesse! I would do the same for you too! I do love you! J: See, you knew it all along! It was just hidden in your heart waiting to be found. S: Jesse, I love you! J: Yes, I know you do. Now, before you get too emotional, we better hang up. S: Ok. Bye J: Bye love. *Muah* S: *Muah* Yay! Jesse and I are back together! Yes, I was happy, very happy infact! Well, a little later, Evelyn called at her usual time so that she could get Jesse and I back together. I answered the phone and she heard me crying. She asked what was wrong and I told her the whole story. She was so happy for me! Then she hung up and told everyone. Soon, it was on the fricken news! And that all happened in one day! Isn't that weird or what?! Haha! Well, now I'm fricken glad that I know that I totally love Jesse! I love him with all my heart! I love him for eternity! He is my future! ~Please review~
Well, we were tired as heck so we just went to sleep at once. We didn't even give out hugs or kisses! Well, I guess this next week was boring as hell! We all ran out of money! Haha! Well, I still had like some money but I didn't want to use it. Plus, it was already August so it started to get a little colder. So the beach was out of the question. Then we just decided to just go to the movies. We watched 13 Ghosts (yeah, I know. It's already out on TV but work with me here) and of course the movie is wicked scary. So all the guys put their arms around us. Well, Jesse was about to put his arm around me but me, being such a moody person now, pushed his arm away and just walked out of the theater. Why I did that, I have no clue. Haha! I would never do that in real life! And I walked out of the mall and headed for Jesse's house, which was like 5 miles away! I have no clue what the hell is wrong with me! So, Jesse, being the sweetie and cutie he is, he ran after me. I was just in such a bad mood. Jesse asked what was wrong with me. And I said to him to leave me alone! Now in real life, I would never ever do that! That's just crazy! Then he kept asking the same question. So I finally gave up and stopped walking fast and told him that I needed some time alone to think. Then Jesse told me to tell him what I was thinking. So I just shook my head and walked quickly towards Jesse's house. On the way there, I went into a store to buy some clothes and some candy, lots of candy! (I only eat a lot of candy when I'm wicked sad. I'm not kidding! Right now, I have a really long Charleston chew in my freezer just in case I'm going to be so sad that I have to eat it!) And can you believe how concerned Jesse was about me. He was following me even though he was probably tired as hell. I was not at all tired because I was on a sad and mad rampage. So I bought lots of candy and I still had about one or 2 miles to walk till I got to Jesse's house. I'm crazy, aren't I? But I finally got there and Jesse was right behind me, so he opened the door for me. So, I went to my room and locked the door. By now, the McCartney family has been o so kind to me and they even bought a new computer to put in my room! So, I signed on and a lot of people were on. I signed onto 2 screen names. Somehow, some fans got a hold of my screen names so I talked to them and they said that they hated me. So I just sweared back to them seeing how I am in such a really sad and bad mood. Then they just signed off. Wimps! Then Katie was on and she and Evelyn are like the only ones who like help me with these moods. So I talked to her and she helped me a lot. Then I thanked her and signed off. I swear, she should be like my shrink or something! I mean it! So I knew that Jesse was in his room because he was online when I was online but I blocked him so that was like a bad thing to do! O my god, I must have hurt Jesse so much! O gosh, I hope he still loves me! So I knocked on his bedroom door and he said come in. Then I telling him how sorry I was and I was begging him to forgive me. Then he said that he forgave me. Haha, he's a fast forgiver too! Then I told him that I understood if he didn't love me anymore and I started to walk out of his room. Then he grabbed my arm and asked why I thought that I didn't love him anymore. Then I told him because of my attitude. Then he kissed my hand and he told me that he still loved me. O my god, how romantic is that! Then he asked me if I still loved him. And then I just ran out of his room and ran back into my room and locked the door. Then I cried on my pillow. I don't know if I love Jesse anymore! Then I signed on but unfortunately neither Katie nor Evelyn was on so I kept thinking if I really truly do love Jesse. So I put on their CD and fell asleep listening to it. Meanwhile, back in the theater, the people were wondering where we had gone. Then Evelyn told them that I was probably having one of my moods. So then they watched the rest of the movie and they went shopping! Haha, I feel bad for the guys. They have to go everywhere were the girls had to go. Well, as always, they headed back to Chris' crib. Then Evelyn suggested that they go find Jesse and I. So she called Jesse's house and no one answered. O my gosh, I must have broken Jesse's heart! When it was the second ring of the telephone, I woke up. Then by the fourth ring, the answer machine picked it up and I heard the people's voices. They said that they were coming over. Then, when the answer machine stopped, I heard Jesse talk to himself. He was fricken yelling and swearing. I began to cry again because I fricken hurt Jesse's feelings. I didn't mean to but I just couldn't say that I loved him when I wasn't even so sure now. (Yeah, I really went through with this. My friend Evelyn asked me this question and it made me think. She answered that question and she really does love Chris but right now, I'm not sure if I truly love Jesse. Even though I already told everyone that I official really truly love Jesse, I still have my doubts. So I'm actually going through with this for real. Well, anyways, back to the story) Well, then I signed on again and I still blocked Jesse but he talked to me on another one of his screen names but I ignored him and blocked him. I like really felt horrible so I began to eat the candy that I bought. In a matter of one or two hours, the people came and they knocked and rang the doorbell but no one answered so Matt, being how smart he is, found a spare key and opened the door. They knocked on Jesse's door and Jesse opened it. (Haha, right now I'm thinking like really weird and right now I'm thinking, what kind of name is Jesse? Why would his parents choose that name for him?! I am so weird, aren't I?) The people looked at Jesse's room and saw that basically everything was broken except for all the expensive stuff. Then the people asked him what the hell was wrong. He explained and all of them were in shock except for Evelyn because she knew that I had thought about this before. For real! So Evelyn, being how outspoken she is, (she really isn't in real life, I think) she said that she knew all about it. Then Jesse asked why the hell didn't she tell him before. Then she said that she promised me that she wouldn't tell him. So then Jesse almost cried but guys should never cry. Well, I was online but no one was on that I could talk to so I signed off. Then I put Dream Street's CD on again and listened to it. But then I just zoned out and was thinking about if I really do love Jesse. I kept on thinking until I heard a big thump noise. So I turned down the music and I heard the people's voices. I heard them yell, "Open the door!" Then I yelled back, "No," and then I heard Greg's voice say, "Thanks for listening to our CD!" I said, "Your welcome!" Then Amanda lightly punched Greg in the stomach and then Evelyn yelled to let them come in. I still said no. But then the guys, being how strong they are (Haha!), tried to break open the door. It took them some time but they finally did break the door. Haha, now they have to pay for it! So I yelled for them to get out. But of course they had to be rude and they tried talking to me. But I didn't want to talk about it. So I just grabbed my purse, the DS CD, and my CD player. I put in the CD into the CD player and listened to it over and over again. Then I went to a store to buy some party clothes and accessories. I guess since it was getting a little late I would go out clubbing. So I bought some clothes and stuff and walked to a club. By the time I got to the club, it was already 9 PM. So I just went over to the counter and ordered a coke. I took a sip and then a guy, Nick, asked me to dance. So we danced and got to know each other. He was a pretty cool guy. He was a bit taller than me, 16 years old, brown hair, hazel eyes, your normal average guy. Then it was around 11 PM so he asked if I wanted a ride home and I accepted. Well he drove me back to Jesse's house and then he grabbed a pen and wrote his number on my hand. Then out of nowhere, he kissed me! What the fuck?! And guess what, I kept on kissing him! Then I said bye to him and he drove off. Then I was walking back to Jesse's house and Jesse opened the door. Then he asked where the hell I had been. I looked at him with a lovy dovy look and just said somewhere. But he knew where I was because of my party clothes. Then he asked who drove me back and then I said it was Nick. Then he asked who was he but I was already in my room and closed the door. Well then I locked it and then I wrote his number in my planner. Hey, the people fixed the door! This wasn't a very good idea because Jesse remembered everyone's name in my planner but o well! Then I just threw the DS CD on the floor. (I would never do that!) Then I went to sleep and dreamed about Nick. Yikes, I didn't dream about Jesse! Well, I woke up the next day and got ready for the day. I got online and all my friends were on and then I unblocked Jesse. Well, he IMed me but I ignored him and I talked to Katie! I told Katie that I was super-happy. She asked why and I made her promise not to tell anyone. She promised and I told her. She was like, "O my god! You're cheating on Jesse?! Shame on you!" Then I told her I knew but I just had to get my mind off of him at least once. But she still scolded me but I ignored her little advice stuff. Then I said bye to her and I signed off. Then I went downstairs and ate breakfast. I still had the lovy dovy look and Lea was already awake. She asked me what the hell was wrong with me and I told her nothing. But she knew something was up. She's very smart in knowing stuff in everything! Then Jesse came down and gave me an evil glare but I just said, "Pfh!" Then Lea said, "O, you guys aren't going out anymore?" Then I shrugged and told her to ask Jesse. So she did and Jesse shrugged too. So I walked out of the house. Then I bought a ticket to NYC and then I went to Chris' crib. I knocked on the door and Chris answered. He saw that I was happy and asked if Jesse and I were ok now and I just shrugged. Then I let myself in and knocked on Evelyn's door. She was putting on her make-up and she said come in. I said hey and she said hi. Then she asked if Jesse and I were ok now and I told her that that's what I wanted to talk to her about. So she finished putting on her make-up and I told her that she might want to sit down because she would not believe what she would be hearing. Then I told her and then she yelled really loud, "You're cheating Jesse?!" Then I told her to keep it down but unfortunately Chris heard and opened the door and asked the same exact thing. Then I made them both promise to not to tell a soul. They promised and we went to the stores to go shopping! Chris still couldn't believe what I did to Jesse. So then I got bored with them and told them that I was going to go chill with Nick. So I bought another ticket going back to Westchester. I went back to Jesse's house and Lea opened the door. She saw that I was in a hurry and she let me in quickly. I ran up to my room and saw Jesse in there. He was reading my diary, which I wrote in every single day. He was on today and I wrote about how I met Nick and stuff. I think he read the part of how I don't know if I love him anymore. Plus he had my planner out. He had tears in his eyes and then I told him I was so sorry and then I began to have tears in my eyes. Then I tried to give him a hug but he pushed me away. Here's the convo: J=Jesse, S=Scarletto J: Get away from me! S: I am so sorry Jesse! J: I know you are but how could you cheat on me?! S: I don't know! I guess I just couldn't control myself! J: Aren't I good enough for you? S: Yes you are but I don't what the hell is wrong with me! J: I'll tell you what's wrong with you bitch! You're a fucking slut! You're a player! S: I'm fucking not! I just don't know if I love you anymore! Are you happy now?! I admitted it! I don't know if I fucking love you anymore. I didn't want to tell you so I wouldn't have hurt your feelings! J: Well, guess what! You have! And why the hell don't you know if you love me anymore? S: well, this question keeps on haunting me and if I would ever die for you! J: You know that I would die for you! I love you! Can't you see that? S: I am so sorry that I don't know if I love you! I know that you love me! J: Well, would you ever die for me?! S: That's it! I don't know! *Breaks down crying* J: How can you not know? S: I don't know! Now can you leave me alone now?! J: Fine, I will! Well, Jesse walks out of my room and slams the door behind him. I keep on crying and I figured that our relationship would never work out so I packed all my stuff and bought a ticket back to my town. I got there around 1 AM and I unpacked everything. Then I went to sleep and I kept on rolling all over my bed dreaming about Jesse and that question! Well, I woke up the next morning and saw everyone was gone. I guess they didn't know I came home. I got online and only Evelyn was on. She IMed and we talked. I told her that I came back home and she just said O. I told her that I couldn't stand to be around Jesse anymore. I was breaking his poor heart and that I couldn't see him like that. Then she told me that she and the girls would be coming home soon then. I told her not to come back so soon. I told her to have fun. Well, I blocked Jesse and Evelyn told me that Jesse is worried about me. I just told her to tell him that he doesn't have to worry about me ever again. So she told him that and she told me that Jesse said that he made a poem for me: Never To Love Me Again I always thought that you loved me, But I guess I was wrong. You've broken heart and left it shattered. Will you come back and put it back together, So our love will be whole again. Is this the end? Or is this just the beginning of never? I thought I loved, And I still very much. But I don't know, I think that I've broken your heart. And it's all over the place, Never to love me again. O my god! That is just so sad! I guess my heart really is broken and I never can put it back together. Then Evelyn said that Jesse sends his love. Then I told Evelyn that I send him his luck. Then I unblocked him and he saw that. Now, Chris was right next to Evelyn and he said that he was glad that they weren't us. So they hugged and Evelyn cried. Then the both of them said that they were determined to bring us back together. So they called everyone and that they needed some ideas to bring us back together again. They posted help all over message boards and some got answered. Some were true fans but then some were happy that Jesse and I broke up. But they got some ideas from some true fans. Then I started to receive some fan mail and they said that they were very sorry that we broke up and that they wished that we would go out again. I replied to all of them and they seemed please. Then after a week, the girls came home and we were so glad to see each other. They kept on nagging me to go back out with Jesse. I said that I couldn't. Then I broke down crying. Then they tried to comfort me. Then they advise me to call Jesse up and I was like, "Hell no!" I wasn't even ready to talk to him yet! I would never dare to talk to him again! So they said ok and went home. So I got online (I love going online!) and I talked to some fans that were really nice. Then Jesse IMed me and I guess I just had to owe him an explanation. So here's the convo: DS WchesterGuy=Jesse, WanaRockJesse2NT=Scarletto DS WchesterGuy: hey WanaRockJesse2NT: hi DS WchesterGuy: r u ok now? WanaRockJesse2NT: im fine, how bout u? DS WchesterGuy: Im still missing u n I still love u WanaRockJesse2NT: ooo dun miss me, n u dun haft 2 luv me nemore.dun worry ova mae DS WchesterGuy: But I can't help it. I need u in my life! WanaRockJesse2NT: um, I g2g now, baiz DS WchesterGuy: Bye love *WanaRockJesse2NT signed off* See, I told you that I still couldn't talk to Jesse. He is lovesick! I swear he's going to come here and stalk me! Haha! Well, I called Nick and he was like all flirting with me. Blah! I hate guys that flirt with me. Why, I have no clue. Well, I told him that I went back home and then I "broke up" with him. He didn't even sound a bit sad. Then I heard a girl's voice in the back so he's just a player! Then I hung up and just sat in front of the computer thinking if I truly do love Jesse. Jesse is so sweet and innocent and I just broke his darling heart! What the hell have I done? Well, I still don't know if I really do love Jesse but I went to sleep and waited for tomorrow to come. See, I went to sleep early because tomorrow was the first day of school. The next morning, I got ready for school. I waited for the bus with Alison, Keri, and the whole crew that lived near here. So we started our classes and I kept on zoning out. The teachers kept on telling me to pay attention but how could I pay attention when I've broken an innocent heart. His poem was so true but I don't know I don't or do love Jesse. How could I have done that?! Well, by 3:30 PM, I got home and checked my email. A lot were from fans. So I read them and sent back a reply. Then I saw Jesse's email letter. Here's what it says: Dear Love, Even though you deny it, I still love you. And I always will forever. You still don't know if you love me or not but believe me, you do! You have to! We were destined to be together! Please call me and tell me that you love me! And if you don't love me anymore, please still give me a call and then we can be friends forever then. I'm begging you! With all my heart, Jesse? Then I cried and I called Jesse. Timmy picked up and I told him 2 put Jesse on. Timmy told me ok and he ran upstairs to Jesse's room. Then Jesse said hello. Here's the convo ( Haha, that rhymes!): J=Jesse, S=Scarletto J: Hello? S: *Crying* Jesse, I am so sorry that I've broken your heart! J: Hey girl, calm down. Don't cry. S: But Jesse, I've broken your innocent heart and I can never fix it! And Jesse, I've figured that I love you with all my heart but right now, I'm not ready to love anybody. I really do love you but I've been through so much pain, that I'm too afraid to love. J: Yo, I love you too. S: I know you do! Now that I've said that, I'll be needing to go. I'll talk to you later. J: Bye S: Bye Isn't that sad?! Well, now that summer was over, the guys had to go back on tour. They traveled all over USA and that was cool for them. Us girls went back to school and we missed them terribly. The girls kept on encouraging me to get back with Jesse but I still wasn't ready. The first day of school was very long. So when I finally did come home, I got a message on my answering machine. It was Jesse. That boy will never give up, I tell you! But this message from him was very, very sad. He and the guys wanted us to get back together so they sang me some songs. They sang "Someone to Hold Me Tonight," "This Time," "Feel the Rain," "Hooked on You," and "Sugar Rush." That was so sad! And at the end, Jesse said that he loves me forever. Then I cried and cried. So, I decided if he left me some songs, I'd sing him a song. So I got the girls and we sang "Matter of Time." We recorded ourselves and mailed it to him. And at the end, I said, "Did you hear that? Even your song said that all good things would come to those who wait, so wait." And then the girls added their own little message to him. In about a week, Jesse got it and he got a little emotional. He heard my tape and then after, he stopped calling me and he stopped IMing me. I still wanted him to talk to me! So, I decided to get online and talk to him. Thankfully he was on so here's the convo: WanaRockJesse2NT=Me! DS WestchesterGuy=Jesse WanaRockJesse2NT: Hey! DS WestchesterGuy: hi, I shouldn't b talking 2 u..remember u need time WanaRockJesse2NT: Well yea buh it dsnt mean that u haft 2 stop talking 2 me WanaRockJesse2NT: lmao!! DS WestchesterGuy: I gotta ask u a question so just call me rite now WanaRockJesse2NT: ok, tty in 5! Buh bye 4 now DS WestchesterGuy: bye Well, I signed off and called him up. Here's the convo: J=Jesse, S=Me! *Brriinngg!* J: Hello? S: Hey Jesse! It's me, Scarletto! J: O hey! Wassup? S: Well, you told me to call you and that you needed to ask me a question! J: O yeah! That's right! Yeah, um, I was wondering if you still love me as a friend? S: Of course I do, silly! J: That's great! S: Anything else? J: Yeah, do you love me more than friends, like as a boyfriend? S: Uh, I don't know J: *Sings "I Miss You"* S: *Starts to cry* J: *Ends song* Well, do you? S: *Still crying* Do you really love me that much? J: Yes, I do! I will do anything for you! If you were to get shot or something, I'd take that shot for you! If you had any pain, I'd take it all away and I'd do anything to do that! Don't you see?! I love you with all my heart and I would die for you. Kill for you! S: Yes Jesse! I would do the same for you too! I do love you! J: See, you knew it all along! It was just hidden in your heart waiting to be found. S: Jesse, I love you! J: Yes, I know you do. Now, before you get too emotional, we better hang up. S: Ok. Bye J: Bye love. *Muah* S: *Muah* Yay! Jesse and I are back together! Yes, I was happy, very happy infact! Well, a little later, Evelyn called at her usual time so that she could get Jesse and I back together. I answered the phone and she heard me crying. She asked what was wrong and I told her the whole story. She was so happy for me! Then she hung up and told everyone. Soon, it was on the fricken news! And that all happened in one day! Isn't that weird or what?! Haha! Well, now I'm fricken glad that I know that I totally love Jesse! I love him with all my heart! I love him for eternity! He is my future! ~Please review~